When writing is forced usually it turns into compleat ****

Sometimes, the people who have the most to live for, are the ones who don't want anything to do with life.

unable to think
unable to focus
all to aware that you're there
unforced and undeniable
the connection between us is eleteric
or maybe its just my attraction to you that paulsing
maybe my interest,
maybe this electricity,
is one sided
making my desion to just play it cool, relax, fight it
fight the overwhelming yearn to talk to you
fight the titlewave of over exagerated feelings
every erg
every thought thats telling me to spill my guts
play it cool
i dont even really know you
but as bad as it may be,
in my head i already do
your quiet and to yourself
and i want to know if theres sombody els
that youre hidding beneith the surface
tell me
spill your guts
im not afraid
be that titlewave
let everything youve never said wash over me
and know ill still be there in the end
When the wave has cleared
And debre is scattered
I'll help you pick up the peices

theirs a girl in the back of the classroom, shes always quiet.

Kid one: "whats worse than a truck load of dead babies? No? No? No one? Okay then, I'm Ann Frank, what do I smell? Its my parents burring!" and he breaks into laughter and makes a motion as if hes slashing his wrists "What kind of person am I?? EMO!" he yells and tumbles into another fit of laughter

Kid two: "That's terrible!! You shouldn't joke about that! I don't understand dark humor! Why do people joke about that stuff?"

The room goes quiet and the girl says "People always joke about things they cant comprehend, its a coping method." everyone stares at her but she just goes back to writing as if nothing had happened

Sitting down
An empty notebook in front of me
A pencil in hand
How do I write this
Knowing it will be read aloud
Shared
A piece of me
Shared with others I don't trust
of whom I see everyday yet, don't know
Will they abuse the knowledge, the insight, the possibility of power over me, I'm giving them?
I could write it about something else
about someone else
Someone who as effected me
Who has changed me, made an impact in my life
but I don't want to
This is something I need to write
maybe it'll help me cope
maybe it'll help me move on
This is something I need to write
but I'm not sure its something that needs to be shared
but I'm not sure they'd even care
(probably best that they don't)
I'm painting a picture with words
detailed enough so they can see
vaguely enough so they might not understand:
                                       That I'm giving them a piece of me

Its how i get through my shity creative writing class

I read so much of some peoples work
I go to their profile and just scroll down
Reading up from wherever I land
I'm interested, intrigued, indefinitely
I can always find something to consume my mind
For minutes
For hours
For days at a time
Filling my thoughts with questions and worries, of "what ifs"
With contemplation, I read every word, with some, I memorize every line
If asked I'm sure I could recite ones poem or two
I'm never sure what to do when ones work leaves me reeling, wondering
wondering about them
wondering about who they are and what inspires them
About what they know, of what they might have been through
maybe that's a little intrusive?
But knowing Ill most likely never know the answers
I've become okay with just wondering, pondering, the possible "what ifs" and "how's"
It's become a hobby, more of a habit, really, when happening upon something amazing
I read it again and again
until its stuck in my head
like a song with a catchy tune stuck on repeat
I don't mind
but it does make me think

He sits all alone
Watching people walk by
Into the buildings that came from his mind
No one knows
And they wouldn't understand
Why he sits all alone now by the trash cans
He'll work all day for no pay at all
With no place to go home to
And no place to shower
He'll walk the rail rode tracks at the midnight hour
When the stars start to dim and there's a glimpse of mornings first light
He'll rest his aching feet and ponder his life
A routine now becoming one of comfort
He works all day
and wonders all night
Unable to silence his longing inside
This has become his life

I sit here with jealousy on my mind
and envy in my heart
I yearn to know
I read their words
I wonder about their thoughts
curiosity clings on my tongue
questions unasked
and questions unanswered
Jealousy leaves a wave of guilt in the air
and breathing it makes me sick
I wonder if that's what really killed the cat

It still hangs above the kitchen table
   Torn down the center and patched with a single strip of of duct tape
His skin painted white
   His eyes blue and bloodshot
His lips glossed with the color of blood from a fresh wound
  
   *He sits
unable to speak
   unable to tell of all he's seen
unable to share his knowledge with the clueless
   unable to warn them

He silently hangs on the faded yellow wall
   torn and damaged
faded and discolored
  discolored with splatters of this
or sprays of that
  
*no one knows but him
and there he will always be
   on the wall
above the kitchen table
   silent and watching

At the end of the day,
There's so much left to say,
But I don't have the words to explain..
So I hope you don't think I'm insane
When I don't say anything.

Many thoughts in my head,
That will always be left unsaid.
I sware I care,
And that the thought is there,
But I don't know how to explain.
Oh please don't look at me like I'm insane.

I don't know how to explain,
Because truth is I might not be all 'right' in the brain.
I want you to stay,
at the end of the day.
But I'm not sure how to say,
Don't go,
Because I'm afraid to be left alone,
But I'm afraid you'll want to go home,
And I'll feel like I should have known.
Every time you leave, in my head, I'm begging, please don't.
But to ask, to say something, I know I won't,
Because as much as I'm afraid to be left alone,
I'm more afraid you'll want to go

Your work makes me think and makes me smile
Smile in a sad way every once and awhile
Thank you for being honest
and for being blut
For saying things others don't
and for being up frunt
Your inspiring
Is it tiering?
Having so many thoughts in your head?
Just waiting to be put on paper
Just waiting to be admired and read

Nothing else can compare
The feeling is truly rare
One of a kind
The best high you'll ever find

One glance and you can't help but smile
Even though it's been awhile
The thought of them will always drive you wild

As cheesy as it may be
Their your perfect cup of tee
You never want them to go away
Please just stay
Five more minutes, one more hour
Maybe they could be the bee and you could be the flower

A minute with them is like watching a beautiful sunrise ten thousand times
You don't want to rewind
Nor replay
Because you cherish every moment with them
Each and every new day
In everyway

Their perfect in your eyes And always will be
All their flaws you can see
But you accept them completly
Because love is strong and love is kind
I don't think love is blind
Love is knowing all and being willing to leave the bad things behind
Love is forgiveness
Love is trying, even with some distance

they call her pretty but that comes from few
They don't know whats true because they can't see through
All the fake smiles and laughs, she seems happy and such
That guard of hers might not be thick enough
She sees the stares
but pretends she doesn't care
all the while wishing to be anywhere but there
She keeps to herself and thats all right
No one knows
No ones there to hear her cry at night
in the morning when the sun starts to shine bright
She'll pull down her sleeves, wipe her tears and start all over again
heading out
always forgetting to turn out the light

The perfect weekend spent with you.
Long car rides with nothing to do,
I starred out the window trying to remember the exact moment I fell in love with you.
We didn't have far to go,
But it made me realize there's somethings you really should know.
When you wrapped your arms around me at the end of the day,
I wish it could be replayed,
But There's no place I would've rather been,
Than with you under the white covers right then.

Good morning darling
Good morning darling
Wake up
wake up the stars falling
And the sunshine is calling
A new day is upon us so wake up my darling
Good morning

It's not his fault I know its true
I love him
I love him
I sware I do
It's not his fault I know its true
He just doesn't know me like some others do
He just doesn't know me like Some others
He just doesn't know me like you do

I look up to the sky
As my heart takes flight
Being with you just feels right

One look into your grey eyes
With your hand in mine
I don't want to think about goodbyes
I image were capable of stopping time

As the sun sets on another day with you
I sit here
Gazing at the now bright stars not sure what to do
I relize i have but one fear
And that's losing you

I image your like my own glowing star
I may not always be able to see you
But I know your never that far

I've given you my heart, and i know you wont break it
You mean more to me than I can really show
In my world a flame you have lit
Take my hand and don't let go
You may not realize yet, it may take a bit
But I love you more than you'll ever know

I sit here quietly
As the sun rises again, orange, pink and blue
I wonder idly
What to do with so many thoughts about you

"Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind, but if you wanna leave, you can, ill remember you tho. I remember everyone that leaves."  -lilo and stitch

When your little you think its just a movie but then your grow up and you watch it again and you relize its has so much more meaning behind it than you thought.  I mean its real lilo and stitch is about to sisters who lost thier parents and are just trying to get by when they adopt a 'dog' and everything goes wrong and lilo almost gets taken away.. thats deep.

I may be young
Compared to some
Its true
But I dont feel that way when I talk to you

Ive known very little
And in my thoughts I fettle
Trying to make sense of what I have known
considering the meaning of everything ive been shown

The good, bad, and in between
Seems theres been to much in between for me to believe
That the good really exists
I kind of think maybe its gone extinct

But dont listen to me
Im a bit of a hypocrite, you see
So dont take my words to heart
And I can tell wont because you're far too smart
To belive someone who only plays a part
in her life that seems to have become a lousy show
Not even a good one.. Well I quit. These lines, this play, this scene I will throw
And the girl you thought you knew will be no more

Hmmm
                                                           ­               Whats so wrong with giveing in
Maybe a little*                  
                                       ­                                   and whats so wrong with giveing up
Just enough to make it okay

Just enough to silence the itch          
                                                 ­                          who wants to fight all the time anyways

*This time

I hurt all over, physically sick
Stuck with the haunting memory of his words
you can trust me, im here for you
I can still hear his voice so clear
So kind
So careing
I miss you babygurl
What once was comforting now only instills fear
How could he fake somthing like that?
How could he have lived with himself?
He was never real
Turning somthing thats supposed to be gental; Someone who trusted you with everything
Into a game

I wont be part of it.

I wish I could find peace in the stars I see
Inbeween the rustling leaves of the trees being roused by the calm summer breeze
But my heads too clouded
So I cant, you see, see the beautiful stars as there ment to be seen
For now my eyes are closed because the view was obstructed
By the **** leaves of these haunting trees
Maybe they didnt want me to see
What selfish trees with their many leaves
Maybe im not supposed to find peace

What are you thinking?
                                    This doesn't have to mean anything
Mm nothing
                                    But it does, doesnt it?
                                    It means everything to you
                                                            ­                                     But its nothing
                                    Yeah, right
Are you okay?

Yeah, of course
                                 *I dont want to be just this to you

Top floor window
                              rope around a cealing fan
                                                             blade to wrist
                                                           ­                  Or a loaded gun
Why not all of thee above
                                   Lets have some fun

I read and reread
So overly inspired with what others create
I cant plant the seed
I cant make these Ideas grow and blossom at any certain rate
Maybe im stuck
Stuck inside my head
Where everything sounds like junk
And I cant go to bed because its like im seeing red
I get so mad being cooped up inside my head
Why cant I get the letters to form
Its all right there and I can feel it so close
But my hand wont write and the pen wont become warm
Because I havent bothered to pick it up, I think im being a bad host
For these thoughts of mine that are clumsy
But want to be set free insted of being traped and unseen like a ghost
...sometimes I wish I were a ghost

Who I am, what I say, and what I do, isnt for anyone. Its not up for debate. If my presence ****** you off ,thats great, congratulations, but stay out of my face. I dont want to hear what you have to say because its doesn't make a difference to me, im not gunna change just because you have a problem with me. Ive hardly ever talked to you, and you hate me? Okay love, whatever you say.  Please just stay out of my way.

As the skys fade to dark
My demonds come out to play
I would cry out
But its already to late
They're here
They've come to take me away

But with the beautiful stars above me
maybe its not so bad
With the moon shining bright
Reminding me the suns still there
And caressing me with its soft white light
Maybe im going to be alright tonight

i whisper it over and over as im dripping blood just trying to fight
I know one day that statement will be true
So ill scream alone at night
untill the time comes when the darkness creeps up behind me but no longer hold me tight
So when you kiss me goodbye and ask if ill be alright
ill no longer be lieing to you

Im not sure what im doing tonight I have far to much on my mind and nothings sounding right, really im just trying to sort through my thoughts all the while wondering if im really alright.  You see, I go back and forth about that, im good untill I get stuck in my head. My head can be a scary thing, filled with harsh veiws of myself and the world mixed with odd hellish dreams. I feel if I tried to explain my thoughts to some, I mean to really explain and try sort through it all, that they'd probably just laugh at me n say im crazy. And crazy as I may or may not be.. I lost my train of thought

Are the most thrilling,  the ones when things are unclear

Oh what you'd look like portrayed in ink
Captured by someone who admires your physical shell
As well as the way you think

Kind hearted caring and smart
Oh the things someone could do with you
For the sake of art

Ill take your hand and we'll go away
Stop for a minute when the lighting is just right
Ill snap a picture quick so i can remember this later tonight

Let me draw you
Paint you and scalpt you
Because in the morning when you go
Its all ill have to show
That in the vast world of time
For a brief second you were mine

My mind begins to race
And i struggle to keep up with the chase
My imagination runs wild
But honestly im really tierd
Why cant my mind let me rest
Maybe it feels I need to process and digest
But you see, id have to disagree
Because I dont want to think about climbing a tree
Why cant my mind let me be
Id really like it right now if I were asleep

He calls himself a man
but he dosent deserve the title
I call him an it
For he has no right to the stick between his hips
Castration
Maybe thats the key
is it crude to say I'd do it slowly?
Id take joy in listening to his every Shrill scream
I need to stop,  before I really start to scheme
Maybe its mean
but I never claimed to be nice
And honest
If you knew
I think youd think he deserves it to

Life is funny: completely filled with unspoken, sometimes unnoticed, irony

What I wouldnt give
for just a minute with you
im sure it wouldn't go anywhere tho
You wouldnt say much
Because you dont know me
and thats the natural thing to do
But your writtings make me think
Opens my eyes to things unseen
yeah it like speaks to me man
Hey, shut up thats not what I mean
but thats exactly what you mean
So what if it is
I dont mean to sound odd
but I find you quite intriguing
Im sure you're just a normal person
anything but normal
But your kind of my idol
I wonder what id do,
if I had a minute with you
Id probably just stand there,
not knowing what to say
youd Think im weird
you are weird
Because id draw a blank
Id have a million things on my mind
But if you ever said hi
Id be instantly shy

My Words
My thoughts
my lines
None of it works
Some of it rhymes
is it even supposed to rhyme?
It takes up so much time
wasted time?
Maybe
But I like wasting my time
With little notes and little rhymes
A thought here
And a doodle there
but whats the point?
Does there have to be a point?
Cant we just be
Cant we speak and laugh and doodle and rhyme  
And all chime in together to have a good time
Without there really being a point?
I believe your rambling again
Yes, yes I know
My apologies and good day
misses and misters
Good sir's and good ma'am's

Dee-ee-ay-tee-aych
Du-eh-thh
It roles off my tounge
Du-eh-thh
Is is this the end?
Maybe its only just begun

Just the word instills fear
Du-eh-thh*
Makes them shake
Quiver
Shiver
Even shed a few tears

Am I wrong to think its beautiful?

Du-eh-thhhh
Peace and Freedom
"freedom from what?"
  Life my friend
Life and all its fake 'happily ever afters'
  How can you possibly expect us to mend?
To pick up the shity peices and put them back together again
  Were like bats who have frogotten how to hang in the rafters
We dont no how to cope
  We will be the end
How can there be any happily ever afters
  Im afraid ive lost all hope

Am I going insain?
Or am just reaching clarity

Du-eh-thh
Dark
Quiet
Nonexistance
gone

They see it as the end
You see, but even just the word roles off your tounge
Ah, yes myfriend
Its all just begun
Dont you see?
Death is the only way to go
Its The only way to truely be free
Im done with society

I'm not making much sence these day's
Someone will say somthing and my mind gose off
Down the street-up the stairs-across the hall-out the window-through the tree
scrape, cutt ... oops
to the clouds-through the sky
Hmm, down below it all the people look so small
I wonder if ... wait, who said what again?
That doesn't make any sence
Am I making Sence?
I haven't said anything?
oh... right, ya, that was all in my head
Sorry, it seems these days im not making any sence at all

I hate days like today, you know that, days were everything seemed good then just one thing after another are or go completely stupid but I feel I have no right to complain, whats the point anyway, what good does it do, and somtimes I fear I make no sence at all..

You make my skin crawl
The thought of you is no fun at all
You're sick
You're twisted
Your existence is nothing but a joke
A disgrace

Your voice makes me shudder
The thought of your eyes on me makes me scream
Your eyes
Your smile
Your cynical laugh and souther drawl
It all makes me sick
You're redicules
A joke
You got cought

Who are you anyway?
Your a vile
Disgusting
Insulent
Preverted
Puthetic Excuse of a person
You're not worth my time
And yet,
You haunt me
Your memory takes away my sanity
Defiles it
Destroys it
You're always there
In the back of my mind
Durring the day
Its there
Late at night it comes to strike
It takes away my only relief!
It SCREAMS
"You're not safe"
Because of you I am lost
You fill me with fear
Your memory haunts me

You make my skin crawl
The thought of you is no fun at all

Sleep take me away
Make my eye lids grow heavy and darkin my sight until there is only black
Make the sounds fade to silence for all except the gentle hum of a fan
Make every part of me relax and go limp

Sleep take me away
Take me away to a land where none of this maters
Away to where there is no war, no fights, and no pettie problems

Sleep take me away
Away to a far off place where there is no stress and the only thing to worry about is witch tree to climb

Sleep take me away to where I can rest with out nightmares
to where I can walk with confidence or fly through the sky
to where I can be alone and watch the summer stars
or to where I can be with a group of people and not feel alone

Sleep take me away
Take me to a place where I can, and there is no 'i cant'
Take me away to where I can learn
Take me to somwhere far away Sleep, please, take me away

I welcome you sleep, with all that i am
Please wash over me and make me forget

Sleep take it away
Take away my pain
Take away my thoughts
Take away my smiles if you must but please, sleep
Take it away
Take ME away