It's been awhile since I found my inner song,
I've been looking at everything so wrong.
I disappeared into the great sea of darkness,
I tried my best but was always seen as heartless.

How can I make up for this time here?
I long for my friends to be oh so near.
I wish this wasn't the way things had to be,
But it'll take me awhile to find the real me.

I understand if you can't just wait around,
I won't be upset if you give up on my sound.
Just always remember how we used to be,
Look at the way we used to laugh and see.

Do you ever wonder if everything you do is wrong?
Do you ever wonder if every word you write goes to the wrong song?

Do you ever feel so small and fragile as if you could just break?
Do you ever feel like you are just a giant mistake?

Do you ever get so scared that everyone will leave?
Do you ever get so mad because it's hard to believe?

Do you ever wonder how long it'll take to be okay?
Do you ever wonder about who will truly stay?

She is the sunflower in the field of grass,
She stands tall, full of all that sass.

She is the sunflower bright and tall,
She is a firm sunflower that won't fall.

She is the sunflower that will change the world,
She will scream and shout and she will be heard.

She is just a sunflower in a field of grass,
But she will take a stand and won't break like glass.

"I'm just tired."                                                          ­              Tired of trying, 
"I'm just tired."                                                          ­              Tired of crying.

"I'm just tired."                                                          ­             Tired of smiling,  
"I'm just tired."                                                          ­               Tired of dying.

"I'm fine, just tired."                                                        Tired of saying fine,
"I'm fine, just tired."                                      When I'm way beyond that line.

"I'm fine, just tired."                                              Tired of fighting my mind,
"I'm fine, just tired."                                             Tired of always being kind. 

"I'm ok."                                                             ­              Tired of the faking, 
"I'm ok."                                                             ­            Tired of the shaking.

"I'm ok."                                                             ­               Tired of forgiving,
"I'm not ok!"                                                             ­              Tired of living.

Anxieties knocking at my door,
But Depressions already here.
These two together cause a war,
It gives me another feeling, fear.

Anxieties on my couch hanging out,
But Depression is coming from my room.
They reunite again and begin to shout,
It's calmed down but I have so much gloom.

Depression lays down in bed with me,
Anxiety is waiting on the floor.
Depressions grasp is strong I can't break free,
I'm not okay and I can't pretend anymore.

I have officially cleaned out any memory of you,
You can never take control of my room and make it blue.

I took my emotions and watched them burn,
Now what you're doing is none of my concern.

I feel so free but also so broken,
I almost wish your words remained unspoken.

I'll miss you but it's for the best,
Because if the room stayed, I'd be more depressed.

1...
I try my best to breathe and count to ten.
          2...
I'm trying everything so I can feel again.
                     3...
The shaking comes and I can't seem to stop it.
                               4...
All of my thoughts are just telling me to commit.
                                         5...
I'm trying my best to see the beauty in life.
                                                    6...
But all I can focus on is the glistening knife.
                                                              7.­..
My thoughts become empty as I reach for my heart.
                                                          ­               8...
My head is clear and I'm no longer falling apart.
                                                                ­                   9...
I'm no longer afraid of death, I welcome it with open arms.
                                                           ­                                 10...
Now I don't even have to worry about the silent alarms.

"It'll heal someday,"
That's what they all say.

                                       But I don't think they realize that some scars,
                                       Don't just leave with the stars.

How can I hope that it'll heal,
If I can't even seem to admit how I feel?

                                                               ­ You marked me,
                                                                ­And now I'll never be free.

Is R E A L I T Y even R E A L ?
Lately I can barely even F E E L .

                                                        I'm trying to F I N D ,
                                                        Why I've had a battle in my M I N D .

                              I watch as people L I E ,
                              Leaving the others to just sit and  C R Y .

Humans are evil, we let others  H U R T ,
And although it's not okay it makes them A L E R T .
                                                          
    ­                                                      I guess everything has a R E A S O N ,
                                                          Just like each and every S E A S O N .

                              So to answer my own question, L I F E is R E A L ,
                              And it's quite a big D E A L .

People will always worry,
           That doesn't make me hate it any less.
People will always worry,
                 But I don't have much of a choice I guess.
People will always worry,
                             I hate that word so, so much.
People will always worry,
                                        It just has a sour sort of touch.
People will always worry,
People will always worry,
People will always worry,
People will always worry,
                                         All because of that one night,
                                                                        When I tried to shut out the light.

I want to heal, I really do.
                                                             But no matter what I can't get over you.
You bring up so many fears,
                                                 Some that I've been trying to get over for years.
How could I have just let you walk in,
                                                                          I hate you and your stupid grin.
I'm really just wanting to heal,
                                                                     But then again I don't want to feel.

I'm trying my best,
I'm working when I just want to rest.

It ***** when you find out the best thing for you,
It's not something you want to do.

I've had to let go of some really important friends,
It made me realize that all good stuff ends.