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Dec 2019 · 161
Remember
hello again Dec 2019
Remember the pain you felt?
Pure burning pain.
Pain that hurt so much you never thought it would stop.
The pain of your heart shattering
The pain of your heart losing someone they cared so much about
The pain of knowing that you might not ever get them back
Pure burning pain.
The pain that you inflicted on yourself because you saw no other way of dealing with the pain in your heart.
The pain that you were so afraid to talk about because you were afraid of what the people cared about most would say.
You were so afraid of them leaving you when all they wanted to do was help you.
They saw your pain they wanted to take it away from you.
But you didn't let them .
You gave in more and more to the pain and kept hurting yourself more and more
until,
You couldn't anymore.
You gave in,
Asked for help,
You healed.
And sweet girl,
Guess what,
the pain has subsided
Now,
You are no longer broken,
You are no longer afraid,
You are no longer alone .
You are so loved
You are seen for who you are and not the person you were.
I've grown
Jan 2019 · 168
words
hello again Jan 2019
i can't find the words to say these days
the words escape me
where did they go?
on the tip of my tongue
then in the back fo my throat
or pushed so far back into my mind that i forget who they were for
wouldn't it just be easier to say "i'm not fine anymore"
but i was the other day and now my anxiety is swallowing me whole
my thoughts grow louder and louder yet i still can't find the words to say.
i wish it was easy
i wish i could scream I'M NOT OKAY ANYMORE
but even if i try the words turn into whispers and all i can say is
i'm just fine.
yes i'm still here
Jul 2018 · 186
Old Friend
hello again Jul 2018
It’s been awhile.
I haven’t heard from you in so long.
Do you think of me?
Because I think of you.
I think of what was.
I think of how we lost this.
What we had was fun.
What we had was great.
But according to you.
It was all fake.
I remember the good times.
I remember the bad ones too.
But most of all.
I think of how things could’ve been.
How they would be.
But,
It’s over now.
I’ve moved on.
But,
Old friend.
I will never forget you.
Now we have parted ways.
And I hope you’re doing okay.
Goodbye old friend
Dec 2017 · 413
You don’t need that
hello again Dec 2017
I put the fork to my mouth
“You don’t need that”
Those are the words that pop into my head
I go a few hours longer
I put the one piece of bread to my
“You don’t need that”
There they are again those words
I go a few days
I put a glass of water to my mouth
“You don’t need that”
Again. They’re back
Now you’re on a week of nothing
Nothing at all
Yet you still think
You don’t need that.
You’ll be fine.
Just a little longer.
Let’s see how far you can go this time
Sometimes people struggle
Dec 2017 · 320
Goodbye 2017
hello again Dec 2017
Leave me and my thoughts
Do not bother me anymore
Leave me alone
Goodbye
Dec 2017 · 362
Stop
hello again Dec 2017
My thoughts are darker now
My heart is heavier now
I feel alone
Alone...
I feel empty
I have no words
I want sleep
Sleep gets rid of the thoughts
Sleep makes everything stop
Just for a little bit
Make everything stop
Oct 2017 · 250
i feel this
hello again Oct 2017
my eyes burn
my heart hurts
my soul is heavy
done
Sep 2017 · 255
done
hello again Sep 2017
end me please
i'm sick of it all
i'm done
i'm done with feeling
i'm done with not feeling a thing
i want to end it all.
sorry.
Apr 2017 · 558
Tattooed heart
hello again Apr 2017
I have many tattoos
Not physically on my body
But on my heart
The tattoos are peoples names
They're the people I care about most
The people who are going to be tattooed on my heart for the rest of my days.
Too many names
Apr 2017 · 827
A moment in time
hello again Apr 2017
My life changed the moment I met you
The moment you called me yours
The moment I knew I wasn't going to be alone anymore
The moment I knew you were go to be with me no matter what
The moment I felt safe
I felt safe in your arms
I knew my life was in your hands
Mar 2017 · 403
My thoughts are only of him
hello again Mar 2017
I'm drowning in my own thoughts.
Every time I lay in bed
My thoughts are only of you
I want to be of something else
But, once I start to think of you, I can't stop
I think of how many times you've made me laugh
How many times you've made me cry
And I think of many times you're going to make me want to scream.
But the words I scream are "I hate you!"
When all I want to scream is "I love you."
Mar 2017 · 708
That one boy
hello again Mar 2017
I hate not being able to call you mine.
You always say "Don't Be Sad"
When you're the reason I'm crying.
You love her.
And not me.
I wish I was the one you were holding in your arms.
But then I see how perfectly she fits in your arms.
All I can do is cry and never tell you you're the reason why.
All I can do is sit here watch you love her
And watch you slowly break my heart in two.
Sorry I had to repost it got deleted and i needed to fix it anyways.
Feb 2017 · 342
A
hello again Feb 2017
***
i hate feelings
i hate you
i miss you
i want you
but i cant have you
you dont care
you never will
im crumbling
im falling
i cant stop crying
i want to stop
make the feelings go away
i want them to go away
i need them to go away
ive never been so sad about a boy in a long time
Jan 2017 · 481
Blue eyed boy
hello again Jan 2017
You ask me if I'm jealous
I shake my head no and smile
When really I'm crumbling inside
With those simple words i feel,
Terrified.
You ask jokingly "can I have a kiss?"
I shake my head and laugh
When really I wanted to yes so terribly.
You ask are you crying?
I shake my head and say no my eyes itch
When really, I'm crying over the fact that you don't feel the same way I do.
My friend tells me to tell you that I love you
But.
I know if I do,
Everything will be ruined.
To the boy who will only see me as his best friend
Jan 2017 · 364
15
hello again Jan 2017
15
You're so young
You're gonna be okay
Don't worry about tomorrow
Don't worry about yesterday
Just keep talking
Tell me whats wrong and I'll try and make it go away
You're so special
You're going to get out of there at some point
Just keep talking
Don't listen to them
You'll get out
Don't shut down
Keep talking
One day you're going to stand up and they won't stop listening
You're needed, I promise.
You're so young.
Don't give up.
someone i know
Sep 2016 · 330
New//Not new at all
hello again Sep 2016
The new kid
He's younger than I
He just moved here
But he's lived here before
So he's not really new
But he's new to me
He's smart
He has kind eyes
He has a kind spirit
And I think he's gonna be alright
He's lived here before but he's back now
Sep 2016 · 793
Two days before I turn 18
hello again Sep 2016
We walked around
We talked the whole time
Your smile made me nervous
Every time you messed with your hair it made my knees weak.
You're everything I look for
You said let's do this again
The weird part is
I haven't seen you in two years
And it felt like I saw you yesterday
You're blue eyes looking in my green eyes
When you would just look at me and listen
You would smile when I made a dumb joke
I want to see him again
The blonde haired and blue eyed boy
Still don't know if it was a date lol
Aug 2016 · 643
Update
hello again Aug 2016
It's been a while,
Things have changed.
She left him.
I'm still trying to figure life out.
School *****.
I cried a lot.
I met someone but , I'll never see him.
I was really ******* yesterday.
I had fun on Saturday.
Ice cream was fun with you.
I ran away from him.
That's all.
My life is going to be crazy
Jun 2016 · 517
Tuesday the 7th
hello again Jun 2016
Today, something changed in you
You became a different person when I saw you
When you opened the door you seemed sad
Down
Angry
It made me miss the old you
The happy you
The smiling you
I want you be yourself agian.
The person I know and love.
Something I made up on the top of my head
May 2016 · 297
Summer
hello again May 2016
its hella hot
i like fall more
May 2016 · 267
Time Passes Slow
hello again May 2016
My heart thumps
Eyes fill with tears
They roll down my face
My chest is tight
I can't breathe
I sit in the corner of my room
Waiting for for the panic to pass
An hour passes and I'm finally calm.
May 2016 · 1.4k
floors
hello again May 2016
kitchen floor
thanks for being my dance floor
i cried on the kitchen floor once
i cried over that one guy that one time
but the kitchen floor was still my dance floor in the end
hello again Apr 2016
I wish I could make it all go away
Your hurt
His hurt
I wish I could make the tears go away
I wish I could take the feelings away
I wish I could heal all the wounds
Yours and His
But I can't
Only You can
Only He can.
Together.
I want to help it all go away
Apr 2016 · 294
Trees
hello again Apr 2016
Trees grow big and strong
they make the air clean for us
they're providers of shade when the sun is high
they let children play on their branches  
a safe place
they become new in the fall
yet they stay the same.
Trees are beautiful things
Apr 2016 · 405
You two
hello again Apr 2016
Too cute
You guys are too cute
Always talking
Always saying nice things to eachother
Making eachothers day
Ew...
I mean it's cute, but gross
Apr 2016 · 305
talk
hello again Apr 2016
You can talk to me
You know that, right?
You don't have to keep me in the dark.
You can tell me what's going on.
You can tell me what's going through your head.
Tell me what's hurting you or who's hurting you.  
Don't keep me in the dark.
Apr 2016 · 375
Nightmares
hello again Apr 2016
buzz buzz* my phone goes off
3:02 am on the clock.
It's you agian.
Every night
At the same time
With the same message
Then a tap tap tap at my window.
I freeze.
buzz buzz "Please, let me in"
I text back "no"
tap tap tap
This time a voice
"Let me in."
I'm frozen.
3:04 am.
He's gone.
He'll be back
He always comes back.
Just a nightmare I had once
Apr 2016 · 286
April 7th, 2016
hello again Apr 2016
new house
new view
new neighbors
new faces
but, the same me
nothings new about me
new roads
new twists and turns
but
i'm still the same
moved
Mar 2016 · 460
march 24, 2016
hello again Mar 2016
its your birthday today.
you were the first boy to like me back
turns out you're a real *******
you moved away and fell for someone else
i don't miss you even though i tell you that i do
you're happier
even though you said you'd never would be without me
you lied
and thats okay
i dont miss you
im glad you're finally growing up
but
you still need more birthdays
happy birthday
Mar 2016 · 641
alone
hello again Mar 2016
You're not alone.
Take my hand,
Hold it tight,
Don't let it go until you're ready.
I'll be here when the dark clouds gather around you.
When they do,
Hold me close and don't let go until they're gone.
When they do go,
Keep holding me.
Because I'm not ready for you to let go.
Mar 2016 · 3.1k
Great
hello again Mar 2016
I met you on a Saturday night,
You were wearing a white and tanish shirt
Skinny jeans
Grey converse  
It that made me sad when I found out you live somewhere else.
Don't know why
I just met you and don't know anything about you
But,
I think you're
Well,
Great
To this boy I just met
Mar 2016 · 443
March 1st, 2016
hello again Mar 2016
It's raining and thundering
My cat is meowing
My sister is painting with my other siblings
Moms working on her essay
Dads at work
And me
Well, I'm worrying about when am I going to finish my school so I can read my book.
Fam
Feb 2016 · 242
school
Feb 2016 · 268
ughhhh
hello again Feb 2016
I can't breathe.
I'm panicking for no reason.
It hurts my chest when I inhale and exhale.
I try to calm down, but nothing works.
I stand up and sit back down.
But still nothing is working.
I start to pace around my room.
Then I think "You're gonna be fine."
Heart rate starts slow down.
Breathing becomes normal.
You're fine.
Then the panicking finally stops.
Panic attacks ****
Jan 2016 · 336
He's not like the other one
hello again Jan 2016
Stop.
He said he's not going to leave.
Which means he's not.
Stop.
Stop, lying to yourself.
He isn't like the other one.
He's not going to hurt you the other one.
He will not treat you bad.
When he says he loves you he means it.
So stop tell yourself different.
Stopppppp
Jan 2016 · 1.4k
headphones
hello again Jan 2016
you do a good job of blocking things out.
you keep good things going through my head.
you block out the voices all around.
so thanks headphones, youre getting me through stuff.
Dec 2015 · 667
Winter In Tennessee
hello again Dec 2015
It's not cold,
It's 57 degrees on December 14th, 2015.
I want it to be cold.
I want it to snow.
But knowing Tennessee,
It's going to snow in March.
We have weird weather
Dec 2015 · 578
You left
hello again Dec 2015
Wondering if you miss me like I miss you.
I wonder why you left me.
Why did you leave me for her!
I miss you.
But, at the same time I don't at all.
You make me so angry!
I wish I could tell you how I feel!
But, you wouldn't care.
All you would do is smile and turn away.
I wish you knew how I felt.
But, you never will.
And that's okay.
He left me for her.
Dec 2015 · 573
Anxiety
hello again Dec 2015
It's a heavy shadow hanging over me.
It makes feel like I can't catch my breath.
It makes me feel like I'm drowning.
As I try to gasp for air, it only makes my chest tighter.  
It feels like a straight jacket.
It feels like all of my thoughts are laughing right back at me.
Anxiety, it's trying to win.
But, I won't let it.
Dec 2015 · 342
Growing Up
hello again Dec 2015
I know now, that I’m growing up.

I know, because I’m scared one day I will get my heart broken.

I know, because I can’t stop thinking about the future.

I know, because I’m thinking about life outside of my childhood home.

I know, because I think about my future with some else other than family.

I know, because I’m thinking about our future.
Nov 2015 · 223
Winter
hello again Nov 2015
Winter is here.
It's getting colder.
I hope it snows.
I want it to snow.
We have a fire going and it's keeping me warm,
But, I wish it was you keeping me warm.
Nov 2015 · 351
Rescue Us
hello again Nov 2015
The world is falling into darkness,
We need to let some light in,
The world is crying out "COME AND SAVE US!"
We're scared to go outside,
We want to stay away from the problem,
But, the problem is all around us.
The problem is you and me, it's us.
Our world is falling apart.
Nov 2015 · 340
YOU
hello again Nov 2015
YOU
Hello? Are you there?
I want to be seen by you.
I want to be heard by you.
I want to be held in your arms.
I want to be hugged by you.
I want to hold hands with you.
I need you to see me, hear me.
I need you to want me.
For him.
Nov 2015 · 290
Fall
hello again Nov 2015
It's getting colder,
It's getting darker earlier,
When I wake the frost is all on the houses and trees,
When I wake my feet are cold,
When I wake my hands are numb,
It's colder and darker now.
That's because it's lonely falling in Fall.
Nov 2015 · 344
Grey
hello again Nov 2015
It's a new month
A new day
Yet, the world is still grey.
The leaves are falling more and more everyday.
They're changing and growing
Just like me.
I'm growing.
I'm changing.
It's a new month
A new day,
but, it's still grey.
Oct 2015 · 693
Smile
hello again Oct 2015
Go ahead,
Make it look like everything is okay.
When you know it's not.
Go ahead,
Put that fake smile on so people don't see the tears behind your eyes.
Go ahead,
Fake that laugh so no one can hear you crying for help.
Go ahead,
Act all tough so no one can see you crumble.
Go ahead and smile.
Oct 2015 · 381
Save me from falling
hello again Oct 2015
I never thought these feelings would come as fast as they did.
They haunt me in my dreams.
Please save me from them.
I want them to disappear like the sun during a storm.
I need them to go away.
Make them go away.
I'm not ready for another heartbreak.
I'm not ready to fall back in love.
I can't fall in love.
Well, just not with him.
Oct 2015 · 2.0k
Best friends don't leave
hello again Oct 2015
She's my best friend
Break her heart
or bring her down
I'll make you regret it immediately.
Don't hurt her
Oct 2015 · 1.2k
I'm still here
hello again Oct 2015
I need to know if you're okay.
Please tell me if you are.
I need to know whats going on.
Let me in.
I'm at the door waiting for you to open it.
Just, let me in my love.
I'll always be here.
I'm here waiting for you to let me in the door.
My dear, my love, I'm here.
I want you to let me know if you're okay.
Oct 2015 · 859
Broken
hello again Oct 2015
Hey mom, hey dad.
Why are we still yelling?
We need to get out of this broken home.
Please don't let me back out into the cold!
Hey mom, hey dad.
Please stop this!
I'm stuck watching these walls fall down.
I'm here alone in this broken home.
When will this end!
I'm done.
Hey mom, hey dad.
When did you lose your happiness?
When did this home become broken!?
Please let it all go!
I want to help, but I'm stuck in between.
Who cares who's fault it is!
I'm still stuck in this broken home.
For S and M.
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