Sitting in silence,
Over my past thoughts
    I am sitting here in that chair
     while you lay on the bed upset,
       I sit here : you leave...

  Everybody has left today...
    Why does it haunt me,
      I guess i deserve it ...

I mean I've done the same,
...........Before........

covered in blood
cover in blood
all i see is blood
all you gonna see is blood

They might run,
they wont hide,
I am  going to slaughter
they all fall below me
build me up
suspense intensifies

door open
here i am
knife
in
hand
blood coated shirt
aw the joy of ending breath '
i will send the earth
to a dark decent

Tell god
Tell god

They wont make it

Amused

I'm sitting in this black chair,
I find my way here all on my own,
It's just that place that,
I find clarity,

It's a wonderful feeling,
When I look back to a point,
That I had no cares,
As to what people thought,
But now it's my bane..

Like seriously I can't help myself,
In out in public drowning in Weary,
I bring myself up so high,
Then social anxiety kicks me off the cliff,

I want to be human,
But yet when I'm alone I just feel alienated by everyone,
I can't  handle,
Me,myself and I  

# Paul R Hensley |||

Blood,
Blood,
That's what I need,

Blood,
Blood,
That's what I'm loosing,

Don't fret it will be over soon,
Blood,
Blood,
So black cherry red,
So pure,

Blood,
Blood,
So black cherry red,
So Tainted...

Bowl of riches
I have a dream,
I just hope I don't get assassinated,

To get rich,
Beyond my wildest dream,

So I can make my mother retired,
And not have have deal with her screams,

Day and night,
Stressed out,
I shouldn't put up a word fight,
You go through to much,

To support our small family,
Your the one that suffers the most,
So every time you scream,
You just put me in such a mood,

So one day,
When I'm swimming in my bowl of riches,

I can make you retired,
So I don't have to deal with your screams...

-Paul R Hensley |||

This planet is gone
RIOT...
RIOT...
It's all we see
The begining of the end
Purge?

BOOM...
BOOM...
It's all we hear
The smell of war
Never ending like space and time

Children of war
Must rise and destroy this broken system
We need change
But can't cause technology has the upperhand
We are pawns to this silly game of chess

Surrounded by everyone,
Surrounded by everyone,
Yet feels so alone ,
No one understands,
understands of what I am going through,

I wake up with miserable thoughts,
I toss and turn;
Can't fall asleep anymore

I hate this feeling you are putting me through,
How do I heal myself,
Please I am begging them
How will I heal
When there's no motivation to try anymore
ugh...

And we are floating out to no where
When I crash
When I land this make-shift toy
For all the world to see

That's when you pick up all the pieces of me
Like a broken puzzle
But you don't have all the pieces
And neither do I

Sit and watch the sea of emotions
hopes are gone with one last commotion

And here we are
Look around
No where to be found...

McDonald's not the place
That miserable place,
The place I  work at,

Don't get me wrong,
It puts bread on the table,

This drama that people throw at you,
It's really just poppycock,

The job is too easy,
Just press a button,

like the easy button
Wish I had a mute button
So I can silence the clicking of these buttons..

-Paul R Hensley |||

New Start

It's a new start for me,
A new creative sense,
A vision so immaculant,
That only I see,
I will aspire,
And show you what I saw,
But first we must take a journey...

-Paul R Hensley |||

Ode To Self!

I am stuck today,
I have no mouth!..

Out side this box
I have to solve the rubix cube!..

Why can't I evolve,
Why can't I evolve!..

Why do stars explode?
How can people explode?
How can baby puppies explode?
Why am I talking about explosions?

What do you even call this?
I'm just one fish in this fishing bowl it seems..

Do you want to hear a joke?
Okay,
  You ready ?
Okay,
This whole thing is a joke!!...

-Paul Hensley |||

I must tell you something,
Afraid of the reaction,
Daydream what it would be like,
It's just so nice...

Why do you make me a fool,
Make me believe that you,
Could be the one,
I hope you are the one,
Cause you seem like the one...

Look I just fell for you,
I can't explain it,
I just want you to be the one,
Is that to hard to ask for...

Here it is again,
Always coming up,
   Why can't it just leave,
    
      Sitting here ripping the keyboard,
     Overwhelmed with the day,
   Wanna get away,
Let's float away....

I am back..
Black twisted thoughts..
It's hitting me again..
******************­******
Drifting in the realm of wicked emotion
Hurling boulders of tears on the rise,
Almost lost my two cents..

They all wanna go huh.
Fine... You'll never come back..
   Maybe I should capture all of you
Take you to a field of fire and bake you alive..
   I must burn you all from my memory
     **** your whole pathetic families ,
That pretend they there for you ,
I must destroy all of you,
I will

I will take the appropriate action,
You will feel the wrath
I will make you suffer
I will sit and stare into your wothless eyes
Watch the life leave your body to stay in me ,
Before i leave this world


I will have your souls
All of you
Farewell

It's here..
What's here,
Minimalist view is what's here,
Why,
why go this route,
To find that happiness inside myself,
without everything else.

I change today,
I say my vowels today,
From this day forth,
I will only use what I NEED,
Because consumerism is at fault.

Before I switched,
I was messy,
I was cluttered,
I was not efficient,
I was a victim of consumerism.

However today marks a new era,
For myself,
For the better,
so without further a do ,
I hereby convert to the minimalist way.

-Paul R Hensley |||

The angel called to me,
said I have wings for you,

The demon called to me,
said I have chains for you,

Living in a dome,
Imma bout to take this to the dome,
Come to my domain,
Let me change you,
Let me corrupt you,

Come let me serve you,
Give me elegant servants,
Imma put them in my dome with me,

Come sit in my dome with me,
lets watch the sun execute us...

Let us be reborn as one tonight

What's up
  You are asleep
Or maybe you was captured by a giant yodeling ant eater
  ****
That some crazy **** that flew out of my fingers
  I'm a wizard
One of a kind
Pef
Pooof
Still the same....
I used to talk to stoves
  But now I got this painting  Quietly Sitting inside an upside down hourglass
Twiddling my thumbs rotating my cancer in my hand  
I got this musical Notes playing out of this clever earmuff
So soothing that I fall into a slipped universe
Got these pictures on my wall
  Shows what the past looked like sometimes it just speaks to you  and manipulates you  just like a painting

-Paul R Hensley |||

Stuck in reverse tonight,
Can't stop my feeling of guilt,
I know you right here beside me TJ,
I'm sorry it's my fault,

I just chilled in the trench,
I sent you out,
Didn't think you wouldn't make it back,

Man what a life I lived,
No one will understand,
Of all the sin I have created,
I keep it all under lock and key,

However tonight i might spill it all
If I do then noting changes,
If i do ill just go back to hell
but if I don't,
Then you might just stay,
Talk about friends for life...

Now i'm here
But where's here?
What's here?
Scary faces?
Hacked up children?
Death lingers here
I'm sure...
But what's this
Oh
It's just your mothers dead corpse
How sweet
This place they call earth
But really it's really just hell
But you on the other hand
Are my life's work
I'll never understand you
Because you're human.

Lights off,
Laying in my cell ,
Mind swirling around you,
How did I get back to this,

Plagued by my past,
Can't move forward,
Cause I can't get out this cell,
If i do i just come back for longer,

The past keeps me cold,
and guarded,
I can't help it,
Just how it be,

Babe I am sorry,
You fell for lowlife,
Babe I am sorry,
you fell in love with a lost soul ...

what am I doing
My friends have vanished,
They getting their life together,
While I'm stuck here,
Watching all of them succeed,
While I fail to find,
What I truly want in life,

Most of the time I wish,
Wish that I have what everyone else has,
And then at random times of bliss,
I feel like I'm awesome,
But we both know that's a lie
Just wish I was normal!

# Paul R Hensley |||

Who I Am
Something has tapped into me,
I went from not writing,
To can't stop and I won't stop,
I'm not sure how to take it,
Why would I complain,
Time to take my gratification,

I want other humans,
See what I see,
And I wanna see how others see,
I'm mesmerized by all of this,
I have so many quirks,
So I feel unique,

I'm just a young mind,
Who has no clue what it wants,
I want to 'wow' people,
When I die I want to be know ,
But isnt that everyone's dream..

-Paul R Hensley |||

To the girl who is depressed
I'm sorry
No one can help you
That sounds sad
This whole thing is sad

Guess what?
You wear a mask;
You don't relaize it yet
Time will only tell
That you're Fake
your whole life is fake
Mean what I said
I know
But you understand
That's sad

I know
To far gone
You want to be found
But there's no one around
You fell;

In this black desolate decrpit hole
That you have stumbled upon
It hits you so fast
And leaves a long-lasting irratable pain
Your mind is trapped
You're in a prison
A inmate of your own mind and body
You think there is no way out
You love the idea of being happy
But when you are happy you are fake
Because that's the mask....
That we all wear....

That's the truth
Truth is sad;
Truth hurts;
But some how ?
Some Fake person says Truth is good
Like are we all ******* here?

But it's okay
you are okay in your own fogotten world
Pictures make you cry
People make you angry
Cry yourself to sleep
Hug a pillow and wished is was someone who wanted you
ask yourself over and over
why ?

At this point in time
You will question everything that comes into play
You will find yourself
Floating away
When you crash
When you land your make-shift toy of melancholy
For all the world to see

You will blame yourself
Everything you have done on your
war path of destruction
Tornado of emotion and thoughts and hate
Pours into you mind ripping you apart emontionally
And left alone and defeated

*****
Welcome,
My dear friend
I know this is true
It only gets worst
:( :( :(
Sincerly,
   The random guy
*****

Now you contemplate
Sitting on your throne
Of pure bitterness
Maybe....Just mabye?
The afterlife
People say it's not the way to go
But what do you know
You're a prisoner in your mind
Their words mean nothing to you
They waste their breath and their time
Because we don't listen

Then you get there
Destination
Complete Unknown
Lost you are
Confused as ever
Frustrated consumes you
But your there
You think it's time
You are taking a vacation
Afterlife of corse
So you begin to let go
Disconnect...
leave everyone in the dark  
Beat everyone up with silence; You give..

But wait a minute
Here the obstacle
Here is where I failed
There's a wall
That you have to get over
So you start to climb
Great at first
Then after the first immaculant image of someone you love
Fills your brain
you stop take a breath;
Back at it you  going faster as the blood trembles down you arm
There you left
Blade in hand
Head on floor
Left side caked with blood
Your dizzy
can't walk anymore
Sad
Sad
Sad
Then you just cry
and relaize you failed
All your life
You never acomplished anything
and you failed at taking you own life  
becuase somewhere you not as broken as you think and
you just take that silly mask of and realize that you are real

But a dark road to get there
you must take  
For I'm not Through yet  
But getting there
People that reads this
think why would this guy say all of this horriable things
to write to someone
But see it's the truth
And well we are both just
Sad Then