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837 · Jan 2016
Thought
Paul R Hensley Jan 2016
Now i'm here
But where's here?
What's here?
Scary faces?
Hacked up children?
Death lingers here
I'm sure...
But what's this
Oh
It's just your mothers dead corpse
How sweet
This place they call earth
But really it's really just hell
But you on the other hand
Are my life's work
I'll never understand you
Because you're human.
774 · Dec 2016
Macdonald's
Paul R Hensley Dec 2016
McDonald's not the place
That miserable place,
The place I  work at,

Don't get me wrong,
It puts bread on the table,

This drama that people throw at you,
It's really just poppycock,

The job is too easy,
Just press a button,

like the easy button
Wish I had a mute button
So I can silence the clicking of these buttons..

-Paul R Hensley |||
722 · Nov 2017
Changed For The Worse
Paul R Hensley Nov 2017
I'm alone once more,
Doesn't make it any easier,

I'm surrounded once more,
I find it better If I was alone,

They say it gets easier with time,
I've done time; Only makes it worse,

I have gotten worse,
To my family,
To my friends,
To myself,
I don't know who I am anymore,

So much has happened in this lifetime,
I don't know where it started,
At this rate I'm not sure how it'll end...
I've done it again...
707 · Dec 2016
The idea in my eye
Paul R Hensley Dec 2016
What's up
  You are asleep
Or maybe you was captured by a giant yodeling ant eater
  ****
That some crazy **** that flew out of my fingers
  I'm a wizard
One of a kind
Pef
Pooof
Still the same....
I used to talk to stoves
  But now I got this painting  Quietly Sitting inside an upside down hourglass
Twiddling my thumbs rotating my cancer in my hand  
I got this musical Notes playing out of this clever earmuff
So soothing that I fall into a slipped universe
Got these pictures on my wall
  Shows what the past looked like sometimes it just speaks to you  and manipulates you  just like a painting

-Paul R Hensley |||
This started as a text message. Dome how ended like this huh!
Paul R Hensley Feb 2019
I'm closed in ,
Like a caged beast.
I am a prisoner of my own mind ,
can't escape something that is me.
my life is so upside down ,
The stress is really getting under my skin..

I'm fed up with myself ,
fed up with the laziness,
fed up with no motivation for change.
Just this  past week I have been feeling overwhelmed with reality,
I don't think i am going to make it.
However my wife tells me that I will,
She tries to make me happy...
When I tell her i'm not she cries inside,
She thinks that she should always make me happy...

What she don't get is I am sad at myself not her .
How am I supposed to support her life when i cant even get min started,
I don't know what to do...
Just wish i could be better,
I just don't have the motivation.....

-Paul R Hensley |||
Been writing for 22 hours straight and I cant stop.
541 · Nov 2017
The Dome
Paul R Hensley Nov 2017
The angel called to me,
said I have wings for you,

The demon called to me,
said I have chains for you,

Living in a dome,
Imma bout to take this to the dome,
Come to my domain,
Let me change you,
Let me corrupt you,

Come let me serve you,
Give me elegant servants,
Imma put them in my dome with me,

Come sit in my dome with me,
lets watch the sun execute us...

Let us be reborn as one tonight
Confused cause I am
496 · Dec 2016
Bowl of riches
Paul R Hensley Dec 2016
Bowl of riches
I have a dream,
I just hope I don't get assassinated,

To get rich,
Beyond my wildest dream,

So I can make my mother retired,
And not have have deal with her screams,

Day and night,
Stressed out,
I shouldn't put up a word fight,
You go through to much,

To support our small family,
Your the one that suffers the most,
So every time you scream,
You just put me in such a mood,

So one day,
When I'm swimming in my bowl of riches,

I can make you retired,
So I don't have to deal with your screams...

-Paul R Hensley |||
494 · Dec 2016
Amused
Paul R Hensley Dec 2016
Amused

I'm sitting in this black chair,
I find my way here all on my own,
It's just that place that,
I find clarity,

It's a wonderful feeling,
When I look back to a point,
That I had no cares,
As to what people thought,
But now it's my bane..

Like seriously I can't help myself,
In out in public drowning in Weary,
I bring myself up so high,
Then social anxiety kicks me off the cliff,

I want to be human,
But yet when I'm alone I just feel alienated by everyone,
I can't  handle,
Me,myself and I  

# Paul R Hensley |||
Just how I feel
488 · Dec 2016
Who I Am
Paul R Hensley Dec 2016
Who I Am
Something has tapped into me,
I went from not writing,
To can't stop and I won't stop,
I'm not sure how to take it,
Why would I complain,
Time to take my gratification,

I want other humans,
See what I see,
And I wanna see how others see,
I'm mesmerized by all of this,
I have so many quirks,
So I feel unique,

I'm just a young mind,
Who has no clue what it wants,
I want to 'wow' people,
When I die I want to be know ,
But isnt that everyone's dream..

-Paul R Hensley |||
477 · Jan 2016
Floating Away
Paul R Hensley Jan 2016
And we are floating out to no where
When I crash
When I land this make-shift toy
For all the world to see

That's when you pick up all the pieces of me
Like a broken puzzle
But you don't have all the pieces
And neither do I

Sit and watch the sea of emotions
hopes are gone with one last commotion


And here we are
Look around
No where to be found...
Day three of a seven day binge.
465 · Nov 2017
Need One Rail
Paul R Hensley Nov 2017
It's true,
It's all true...I'm an addict,
The only thing running through my mind,
"Just one more rail"
"Just one more rail"

You think you can  stop it,
Only facts and this is fact,
We can only keep it at bay,
We all wanna say nay,
Only things you love take the pain away,

I have become a prisoner,
Maybe even a monster,
"Just one more rail"
"Just one more rail"

I thought I needed people,
Now all I need is solitary,
shhh...Did you hear that?
Someone sniffing,
Oh how I wish I was them..
They said it would be fun , I don't understand how
457 · Jun 2017
I'm Alot Of Things
Paul R Hensley Jun 2017
I'm the wind,
That flows against your soft skin,
I am the ground,
For I can support you,
I'm the water,
That you drink to survive,
I'm the fie,
That burns in your lush beating heart,
I'm the object that you love,
Fills you with so much joy,
I'm the memory,
That you will soon forget,
I'm a walking emotion,
I am the song,
That you hum to in- tune,
I'm a writer ,
I fall in love with the imperfections of life,
None
451 · Dec 2016
New start
Paul R Hensley Dec 2016
New Start

It's a new start for me,
A new creative sense,
A vision so immaculant,
That only I see,
I will aspire,
And show you what I saw,
But first we must take a journey...

-Paul R Hensley |||
433 · May 2018
5/24/2018
Paul R Hensley May 2018
Sitting in silence,
Over my past thoughts
    I am sitting here in that chair
     while you lay on the bed upset,
       I sit here : you leave...

  Everybody has left today...
    Why does it haunt me,
      I guess i deserve it ...

I mean I've done the same,
...........Before........
I guess sitting here wasn't the right choice .... ****
430 · Dec 2016
Odd to self
Paul R Hensley Dec 2016
Ode To Self!

I am stuck today,
I have no mouth!..

Out side this box
I have to solve the rubix cube!..

Why can't I evolve,
Why can't I evolve!..

Why do stars explode?
How can people explode?
How can baby puppies explode?
Why am I talking about explosions?

What do you even call this?
I'm just one fish in this fishing bowl it seems..

Do you want to hear a joke?
Okay,
  You ready ?
Okay,
This whole thing is a joke!!...

-Paul Hensley |||
Paul R Hensley Feb 2016
To the girl who is depressed
I'm sorry
No one can help you
That sounds sad
This whole thing is sad

Guess what?
You wear a mask;
You don't relaize it yet
Time will only tell
That you're Fake
your whole life is fake
Mean what I said
I know
But you understand
That's sad

I know
To far gone
You want to be found
But there's no one around
You fell;

In this black desolate decrpit hole
That you have stumbled upon
It hits you so fast
And leaves a long-lasting irratable pain
Your mind is trapped
You're in a prison
A inmate of your own mind and body
You think there is no way out
You love the idea of being happy
But when you are happy you are fake
Because that's the mask....
That we all wear....

That's the truth
Truth is sad;
Truth hurts;
But some how ?
Some Fake person says Truth is good
Like are we all ******* here?

But it's okay
you are okay in your own fogotten world
Pictures make you cry
People make you angry
Cry yourself to sleep
Hug a pillow and wished is was someone who wanted you
ask yourself over and over
why ?

At this point in time
You will question everything that comes into play
You will find yourself
Floating away
When you crash
When you land your make-shift toy of melancholy
For all the world to see

You will blame yourself
Everything you have done on your
war path of destruction
Tornado of emotion and thoughts and hate
Pours into you mind ripping you apart emontionally
And left alone and defeated

*****
Welcome,
My dear friend
I know this is true
It only gets worst
:( :( :(
Sincerly,
   The random guy
*****

Now you contemplate
Sitting on your throne
Of pure bitterness
Maybe....Just mabye?
The afterlife
People say it's not the way to go
But what do you know
You're a prisoner in your mind
Their words mean nothing to you
They waste their breath and their time
Because we don't listen

Then you get there
Destination
Complete Unknown
Lost you are
Confused as ever
Frustrated consumes you
But your there
You think it's time
You are taking a vacation
Afterlife of corse
So you begin to let go
Disconnect...
leave everyone in the dark  
Beat everyone up with silence; You give..

But wait a minute
Here the obstacle
Here is where I failed
There's a wall
That you have to get over
So you start to climb
Great at first
Then after the first immaculant image of someone you love
Fills your brain
you stop take a breath;
Back at it you  going faster as the blood trembles down you arm
There you left
Blade in hand
Head on floor
Left side caked with blood
Your dizzy
can't walk anymore
Sad
Sad
Sad
Then you just cry
and relaize you failed
All your life
You never acomplished anything
and you failed at taking you own life  
becuase somewhere you not as broken as you think and
you just take that silly mask of and realize that you are real

But a dark road to get there
you must take  
For I'm not Through yet  
But getting there
People that reads this
think why would this guy say all of this horriable things
to write to someone
But see it's the truth
And well we are both just
Sad Then
A ******* Facebook told me she was going to **** herself and somehow it gave me inspiration to write this longest thing I have wrote in a long time
425 · Dec 2016
What am I doing
Paul R Hensley Dec 2016
what am I doing
My friends have vanished,
They getting their life together,
While I'm stuck here,
Watching all of them succeed,
While I fail to find,
What I truly want in life,

Most of the time I wish,
Wish that I have what everyone else has,
And then at random times of bliss,
I feel like I'm awesome,
But we both know that's a lie
Just wish I was normal!

# Paul R Hensley |||
405 · Jun 2017
Untitled
Paul R Hensley Jun 2017
Old misty Love
where art thou
I can not find you
Where are you hiding
I wanna see you
I wanna talk to you
I wanna be with you

This road of mine
Is really getting old
But I don't see a turn-off anywhere
Or is that even a real thing?

When people ask me when my birthday
and they figure out i'm a valentines baby
I just look at them
think  to myself
and just say wow
You never been alone on that day
and mean it

These deamons they won't stop
messing with me
They know me
They mess with you all
I live behind a mask
I'm an act
A joke even
but oh well
Got to start off somewhere

-Paul Hensley
The First Poem I ever wrote , feedback please I have kind of hit a writers block
389 · Jan 2017
She might know
Paul R Hensley Jan 2017
I must tell you something,
Afraid of the reaction,
Daydream what it would be like,
It's just so nice...

Why do you make me a fool,
Make me believe that you,
Could be the one,
I hope you are the one,
Cause you seem like the one...

Look I just fell for you,
I can't explain it,
I just want you to be the one,
Is that to hard to ask for...
I really like her but afraid to be a friend
373 · Nov 2017
Blood
Paul R Hensley Nov 2017
Blood,
Blood,
That's what I need,

Blood,
Blood,
That's what I'm loosing,

Don't fret it will be over soon,
Blood,
Blood,
So black cherry red,
So pure,

Blood,
Blood,
So black cherry red,
So Tainted...
Help me..
368 · Aug 2018
The Man With The Smile.
Paul R Hensley Aug 2018
Stuck in reverse tonight,
Can't stop my feeling of guilt,
I know you right here beside me TJ,
I'm sorry it's my fault,

I just chilled in the trench,
I sent you out,
Didn't think you wouldn't make it back,

Man what a life I lived,
No one will understand,
Of all the sin I have created,
I keep it all under lock and key,

However tonight i might spill it all
If I do then noting changes,
If i do ill just go back to hell
but if I don't,
Then you might just stay,
Talk about friends for life...
Old memories...
345 · Aug 2018
Welcome Back Old Life.
Paul R Hensley Aug 2018
Lights off,
Laying in my cell ,
Mind swirling around you,
How did I get back to this,

Plagued by my past,
Can't move forward,
Cause I can't get out this cell,
If i do i just come back for longer,

The past keeps me cold,
and guarded,
I can't help it,
Just how it be,

Babe I am sorry,
You fell for lowlife,
Babe I am sorry,
you fell in love with a lost soul ...
If I go back , not sure ill make it
311 · Nov 2018
A Dark Moment Concealed
Paul R Hensley Nov 2018
covered in blood
cover in blood
all i see is blood
all you gonna see is blood

They might run,
they wont hide,
I am  going to slaughter
they all fall below me
build me up
suspense intensifies

door open
here i am
knife
in
hand
blood coated shirt
aw the joy of ending breath '
i will send the earth
to a dark decent

Tell god
Tell god

They wont make it
Woah... did i write that ?
299 · Jan 2016
Children of war
Paul R Hensley Jan 2016
This planet is gone
RIOT...
RIOT...
It's all we see
The begining of the end
Purge?

BOOM...
BOOM...
It's all we hear
The smell of war
Never ending like space and time

Children of war
Must rise and destroy this broken system
We need change
But can't cause technology has the upperhand
We are pawns to this silly game of chess
282 · May 2018
The Bad Things
Paul R Hensley May 2018
Here it is again,
Always coming up,
   Why can't it just leave,
    
      Sitting here ripping the keyboard,
     Overwhelmed with the day,
   Wanna get away,
Let's float away....

I am back..
Black twisted thoughts..
It's hitting me again..
******************­******
Drifting in the realm of wicked emotion
Hurling boulders of tears on the rise,
Almost lost my two cents..

They all wanna go huh.
Fine... You'll never come back..
   Maybe I should capture all of you
Take you to a field of fire and bake you alive..
   I must burn you all from my memory
     **** your whole pathetic families ,
That pretend they there for you ,
I must destroy all of you,
I will

I will take the appropriate action,
You will feel the wrath
I will make you suffer
I will sit and stare into your wothless eyes
Watch the life leave your body to stay in me ,
Before i leave this world


I will have your souls
All of you
Farewell
Don't get me twisted
264 · Sep 2018
Every Mourning Of Weepeing
Paul R Hensley Sep 2018
Surrounded by everyone,
Surrounded by everyone,
Yet feels so alone ,
No one understands,
understands of what I am going through,

I wake up with miserable thoughts,
I toss and turn;
Can't fall asleep anymore

I hate this feeling you are putting me through,
How do I heal myself,
Please I am begging them
How will I heal
When there's no motivation to try anymore
ugh...
256 · Mar 2019
The Big Change
Paul R Hensley Mar 2019
It's here..
What's here,
Minimalist view is what's here,
Why,
why go this route,
To find that happiness inside myself,
without everything else.

I change today,
I say my vowels today,
From this day forth,
I will only use what I NEED,
Because consumerism is at fault.

Before I switched,
I was messy,
I was cluttered,
I was not efficient,
I was a victim of consumerism.

However today marks a new era,
For myself,
For the better,
so without further a do ,
I hereby convert to the minimalist way.

-Paul R Hensley |||
A New Beginning
247 · Mar 2018
Here I Arrived
Paul R Hensley Mar 2018
Woah...........
.
..
...
....
.....
I made it.
Just a thought really
161 · Feb 2019
The night of my sorrow
Paul R Hensley Feb 2019
I hate how i'm living,
I can't get up to do anything with my life,
I'm pushing myself into a void of sadness
I won't make it out so don't try to save me
cause you missed your chance.

I can't keep going
with the bad intentions my soul holds
I tried so hard to not break
instead I just broke everything

I'm sorry baby
i'm a hard person to love
I am a hard person to love because i live in the saddened  depths of my my mind
for that's where I find my inspiration to the imperfection of life ,

— The End —