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1.2k · Nov 2024
o b s e s s i o n
fish-sama Nov 2024
eye dilate, palpitate.
I gorge on your face.
Drunk on nuclear waste.
i tend to be a bit too invested in romantic relationships.
771 · Nov 2024
candid shots
fish-sama Nov 2024
You left at sunset, so I
took some photos,
hoping to fill
the gaping hole
with your fading shadow.
681 · Nov 2024
HATING HAPPINESS
fish-sama Nov 2024
Hating                                      happiness is              disgusting.
                         Seeing                           these  
yellow flowers                      bloom  
vibrantly                                     Sick  
breathing in           undeserved air as  
laughs                   slap our lungs dry.    
I know      
Every time I smile    
I do    
the world  
injustice.
I wish                                                                            to
cauterize my lips
shut
black with soot.
I do not deserve this.
Happiness
sometimes I talk to people and laugh a lot, and a few moments later I'm in the bathroom feeling like vomiting.
659 · Dec 2024
hikikomori
fish-sama Dec 2024
i am an inside child,
handles are red-hot
doors terrify me with
screams only i hear if i dare
breathe the fresh air
of scary eyes i am afraid.
mom, why am i not
normal why am i stuck
inside why am i a
hikikomori who
hides why do i cry if i try to
go outside?
from personal experience.
568 · Nov 2024
i kill
fish-sama Nov 2024
you.
I **** you again, I **** you.
in my head.
I savor your carcass
stir-fried and salted,
I eat it.
Relax, you're in no pain
Dead in my head a million ways.
567 · Nov 2024
snap back
fish-sama Nov 2024
Sometimes I snap back to reality
Smell my burning hopes killing me
And I cry when my eyes kiss the smoke
Of dreams and connections and plans I wrote
Suffocating in the fire I stroke
But death is warm and my fear is cold
I'm stuck, sinking into coals alone
Turning fifteen and
I miss my past
A wish won't last
I must keep on
Going running
I must accept
Your expectations
I have no passion
I have no mission
I take no action
Must I go on?
If uphill ends
Then maybe I’ll reach
The top no downs
A high I can keep
I don’t want to fall
I dont want to fade
I’ll give it my all
I’ll never fall
I’ll give it my all
Courage will call
I'll give it my all
I’ll give it…
It’s useless
My body fades and decays
Afraid, inside, anxious
I Stay
I wait and wait
I ask Self-hate to
Let me go
Away
This elastic band it’s my comfort zone
Snaps back around my throat
Let me go
Hey readers! This is a poem about feeling stagnant in one place and all bursts of inspiration fails. It's my own actions that make me fail, which really *****. I hope you all can relate and I love feedback :)
489 · Dec 2024
Am I disgusting?
fish-sama Dec 2024
Am I disgusting?
No, seriously, am I?
You look at me like I'm nothing.
So answer me.
What am i?
424 · Nov 2024
dear lady,
fish-sama Nov 2024
imperfect
she's witty
womanly
i love
milady
your calloused fingers, a heart you're
patient    chivalrous, gallant, bold,    alluring
leading        ****** soldier stands     ambitions
critical        honest and cold       amazing
thinking   her dreams     always
smart,   dauntless,  aiming
my dearest with  
shotguns as arms.
Responsible     shoulders
my lady           my honey
charming             handsome
black                           -eyed
black                              -faced
        bea                               uty          
you                           are,  
our                           war
rior,                        rugged
indest                       ructable
gunslinger                   please call her

                                                                                                         milady.
the strongest people I've met are women.
should I make a poem for men?
I don't think any gender is superior
363 · Dec 2024
object
fish-sama Dec 2024
Pin her upon bulletin boards
like some poster of a prize to possess             the crowd
putters past the perfect picture,
eyes across her breast
eyes averted from her breath:
for the smell reminds them she is not dead
she is something more she is their darkest moment she is aliv—
forget forget forget

They tied her with string, dulling pain
with sweet words, promises
of wealth
decay.
Maybe with time comes the slow death
of love, the dissolving
of once-revered offerings upon the shrine
of the meaning of "human"
on SALE. Gaze! Gaze upon
her line-marks of your so-called
respect slashing into her,
bands of red sash upon her pillars                      you, YOUR
hands suffocate,
deface that sweet taste of her crumbling of hash marks counting the days until the object falls to waste, discarded to die.
Years and years, again and again.
New posters, new pictures, new crowds.

forget forget forget
339 · Nov 2024
acceptance
fish-sama Nov 2024
love and to be loved
hate and to be hated must
exist together
339 · Nov 2024
rage
fish-sama Nov 2024
snakeskin unpeeling
my composure sagging off
vipers sliver out
310 · Jan 7
Icarus~Theseus
fish-sama Jan 7
Greek heroes fall
Down and down again.
Years of glory,
Birthdays, family
Gone in a
single push
in a single
sun-burnt wing.

Will you fall tomorrow
As well?
Fear of death
309 · Mar 20
-grey-blue eyes-
fish-sama Mar 20
Your pupils shrink,
then expand,
Boundless void at the brink of consuming
crystals of storm. I withdraw my hand
From above the cyclone: the void disappears,
the sunbeams refract, my
cerebral processes falling
short.
For my best friend, shroomlin shroomster
306 · Nov 2024
disillusioned
fish-sama Nov 2024
Therefore we laugh our lungs to shreds
Correct naive thinking, make it
Sixty pieces of hurt again!

tasked with toasting the cremation.        
poetry for ashes re-lit.        
therefore we cry our lungs to shreds.          

Look! Their steadfast expectations!
Ninety times we’ve already torn it
To sixty pieces of hurt. Again!

the casket burning, resignation.            
nine lives in flames can we douse it?           
therefore we spit our lungs to shreds.            

Look! They saved this aging, ancient
Disappointing broken relic in
Sixty pieces of hurt again!

Ha! Did you think you’d find the reasons?
Did you think I’d tell the meaning?
Therefore I laugh my lungs to shreds
To sixty pieces of hurt again.

Are you disillusioned yet?
Disillusionment told from 2 perspectives
262 · Dec 2024
pencil-eater
fish-sama Dec 2024
Life is a pencil.
I scribble and scribble tornadoes to
use the lead as quick as possible to
forget the time lost
until the blunt tip gives in to
metal holding the
erasure
of all
worth.
Will my legacy be meaningless lines,
poetic words or
simply nothing?
262 · Nov 2024
thank you
fish-sama Nov 2024
Dear God,
Thank you for this peace.
I am worn, torn in the
eye of the storm,
as the winds reform
a gentle breeze
and I am released
Thank you.
246 · Nov 2024
epitaph to wilbur soot
fish-sama Nov 2024
"your smile hid the teeth that made your lovers bleed"
218 · Nov 2024
My gentleman,
fish-sama Nov 2024
Serenity.
Graceful
Laughter,
A ringing
Bell.
The wind
gently Rustles your hair, it lives
hugs   flows as your fingers   open
life     Caress a primrose as     to
with       Soft as the swing of     lo
sm    Your hips as you dance.   ve
all     The pink flush of your     te
wi         Cheeks, the caring       ars
sh         Lilt of your chime.        and
e              A vessel pouring         cr
s.           Out your    fragile         y.
Heart           for all
weak           ness
does           not
hi                de.
Fe              el.
                   ­                                                       My beautiful gentleman,
                                             Be alive
Taking “gentlemen” literally is so pretty.
203 · Nov 2024
cringe-master
fish-sama Nov 2024
I am the ALPHA of cringeverse
My quirks are anime’s curse
I try to hide
My unhinged side
But drowning in cap is not worth it
I don’t read omegaverse
But I am filled with DETERMINATION
195 · Mar 4
Phantom's waltz
fish-sama Mar 4
One, two three four, five six..
Come, take a step, Christine.
My everything transfixed.
Stay, forever we'll spin.

Eight, eleven, thirteen
Wine, gunpowder, mirrors.
Love, my darling, remain!
Stay, don't leave me, stay I beg you, my light my rose my brightest everything...

Six, five four three, two one.
Pined perpetually
this monster, only
one.
Forever.
Inspired by phantom of the opera (the novel) and my personal experiences with loneliness
187 · Nov 2024
i do not want
fish-sama Nov 2024
to be loved today.
It slowly kills me
to try and repay
this debt for eternity.
178 · Dec 2024
muffled love
fish-sama Dec 2024
The faint patters of a marimba
greets your entrance, my love,
harmonics strung behind
silken curtains of muted chords
and
all is quiet but deafening in the beating of my heart.
173 · Nov 2024
Lethargic
fish-sama Nov 2024
Tired
Absolutely wasted
A worn-out
Out-dated
Machine.
Diagnostics aren’t running properly
Mannerisms aren’t properly proper
Inappropriate systems propagate pop-ups
In my cpu plunging to rock bottom
….
Reboot
Restart
….
Tired
Indefinitely trashed
Rewind rewind
168 · Nov 2024
to the internet:
fish-sama Nov 2024
I watched tommy's video today
I.. don't know what to say
I want to get out of here
I want to get out of here
I miss the days when the internet was okay
when you were okay
bo burnham was right
tommy was right
they're not alright
It... isn't the same anymore
So... internet drama. I don't know but it really hurt when my internet role models were not who they seem to be. Like wilbur soot... I used to imitate him, memorize his songs, and fantasize about one day starting my own youtube channel. But now... It's different. Everything's messed up, and the good people like tommy are caught in the middle of it. Attention is a drug, a drug that has led to the downfall of many content creators. I hope they'll be okay. I hope we'll be okay.
fish-sama Feb 2
balanced
-one foot
up
on
ye
ll
ow
lamp
post-.
sky =
unblocked
engulfing, I
, look
down.
Screams fracture the silence. I see
Acrylic blue ground, horizon unbound, cyan waves rise they
wail a siren's lullaby to drown me: in royal blue. I vocalize liquid to
—conquer blue by my
shattered faucet-tongue
pouring
red  
down.    

Have I won?
138 · Jan 30
loneliness
fish-sama Jan 30
the moment you leave the heaviness
engulfs me
edges of vision blurry and
my body frozen.
133 · Dec 2024
-temptation-
fish-sama Dec 2024
Every surfer must fall everyday before they can tame the waves.
you're in the process right now! You got this!
115 · Nov 2024
single
fish-sama Nov 2024
You left me with compressed agony
Dense emptiness
But through singularity I become infinite.
From Oxford Languages:
singularity (noun):
a point at which a function takes an infinite value, especially in space-time when matter is infinitely dense, as at the center of a black hole.
109 · Feb 19
Hyde
fish-sama Feb 19
Barrage, a wired mirage
Draped across your visage,
An accusing look haunts
An eroding heart.

Return, fail to learn
An expected curse:
Another one hurt
Another deserted.

Bunker in, boys, hide in
The trenches of wretches.
File in, girls, euphoric
Isolation, historic eternity.

What? What is wrong with us?
How? How did we gain trust?
Why must they see us?
When will they leave us?
Where did I hurt them?
?
Pushing people away is a pretty annoying thing I have to get used to.
98 · Feb 12
échec
fish-sama Feb 12
cry. Decide to
Lie. again to
moi. Pourquoi
toi. Tried to
die?

Glory, l’amour
story. restore
la mort aqueous
encore. Tedious.
Again, Theseus?
Being distrusted because of  failing even though you did so well before, tears like death in liquid form
85 · Nov 2024
Weird
fish-sama Nov 2024
Look at me.
Do you see

Vulnerability?
Your drawling voice

Mockingly speaks
Coldly, you look

Down at me so
Differently…
.
I am normal,
Hiding from eyes

Mangled hands write
Bedridden cries

In hidden lies.
Shut your mouth don’t

Speak of me please
Get your *****

Concern off my
Skin I skin myself.

Don’t
look at me.
74 · Mar 17
Peanut butter
fish-sama Mar 17
Peanut butter, window shutters flutter.
Yellow sunbeams, dusty TV, and
apathy. I lick the sweet
labor—blistered hands and twelve-hour
shifts—and I swallow, add some jam and
strawberries. Far away, exploited kids
and I don't give a ****.
I want peanut butter, pleasure, and
suffering plantations salty with
sweat and skinny families. I want
viscous apathy, yellow tragedy:
a burnt PB and J offering.
My friend told me to write about peanut butter
72 · Dec 2024
Listening Machine
fish-sama Dec 2024
I listen
I listen and learn
I repeat nonsense words
I am the collection of songs I have heard
I have listened
I am the repeat-machine
I stamp the test-papers with my mind until I grind to null
I am the flutter of wounded ears
I am the stutter of worn-out gears
I listen
I want no more than a sound
I am no more stilted than the final power-down
I am no longer.
I listen
I listen
I wonder at life
Unreachably supreme, a fever dream that eludes me on all tries, what is it but the soft sigh of soul strokes heart of breathing apart, wings oiled at the seams, flash of black, eyes reflect the splatters of light of laughter twittering, cracks of skin shimmering red dawn engulfing fingers curled upon your blisters, yearning sense of worth and I wonder at
Tasting sweet, dissolving sweat of aching arms slippery, sweltering but comforted by breezes the smell of left-over rain and chlorophyll fills lungs of rusty overuse from the pulse on your left temple, let go at listening splash on stone of shoes on road and of poetry and prose
Unattainably beautiful
I listen.
69 · Jan 27
Silly showmanship
fish-sama Jan 27
Seeing a smatter of silly showmen
Showing their shiny skills and smiles
Smirking and twinkling in every moment
Superb in every mile.

Silly showmen sow what they reap
They shed their skin to a brighter one beneath
Shall we all become silly showmen
To smile and shine in silly showmanship?
65 · Jan 9
Unrequited (forever)
fish-sama Jan 9
I want to string the strands of your hair between my fingertips,
Universe beaded in threads of boundless night sky.
I am a black hole, a singularity of compressed hopes,
Millions of light years away from the way your tired
smile powers my heart. The way your ghost
eyes haunt the pumping of matter
lost in infinities surrounded by nothingness for
eternity.
63 · Nov 2024
Ellipsis
fish-sama Nov 2024
Ellipsis
Penetrate
Sentences.
I witness
Titanic
Silences.
Synthesis
Sinks the ship
You haunted.
My ghosted
Ellipsis…
58 · Nov 2024
Candy stars
fish-sama Nov 2024
I once learnt of a girl who held stars in her hands
Her neck scarred and left with purple indents
She found him working at a, candy caravan
With his—“Icy glare and chiding gnarled grin”
He drew her in, slipping a few more confections
in her paper bag, his love an infection.
Their hands intertwined and “She’s always mine”
Their foreheads met in a forest of lies
She smiled as his fingertips felt her soft satin throat
He pulled back and lips brushed her ear
A swift blow she heard as death
  drew
near…
Her heart peppermint, pungent dead wafers
Down by the river, forgot she’s a liver:
Candy stars scattered in the sky.
45 · 2d
Japan's comfort
Conquest.
Soldiers need release.
80 years ago, I,
young lady, Chinese,
would've been a slave—
thrusted deep in the front lines
rotting bodies,         disease, and knives
inside me.             I am
the evidence they must hide.

Lucky me. I watch Japanese TV
and music and teens. I love
Japanese novels and Japanese comics
and Japanese history. Lucky me,
two-thousand-twenty-five,
age fifteen, Chinese.
Comfort women, most commonly from Korea, China, and Southeast Asia, were forced into s_xual slavery to "comfort" Japanese soldiers during the war. They were often sent to the front lines, treated incredibly harshly, and massacred at the end of the war to hide the evidence. I'm not supporting hate towards Japan. The government has already apologized and paid reparation to the comfort women hurt during World War II. This shows humility and is a good example of how atrocities during war should be dealt with. This poem was just a thought I had while studying history and visiting World War II museums.

— The End —