Just as you are different to me,
I cannot understand you.
Every move you make
Every thought, expression
That passes across your eyes;

They say eyes are the window into the soul
But your eyes are expressionless
Blank as a stone slate
Cold as a stone slate

How could you **** someone?
Don't you feel guilty?
The dark malice hidden away in those beautiful eyes
Spur-of-the-moment thoughts, uncontrollable impulses.

How did I fall for you?
People still ask me, every day.
Do you still love her?
How do I answer that?

All those memories we shared,
Every photo taken,
I still look back at them, sometimes.
And feel the toxic rush of happiness
Of fondness, of love.
Love for a serial killer.

While you comforted me,
Gently held me,
Assuring me,
Everything was going to be alright,
You tortured, tore apart others
Who were different from me.

You're a murderer, a criminal.
You took a life, intentional
Every move and calculated plan
All executed like a falling guillotine.
Unstoppable. Deadly.

How did I fall for you?
People still ask me.
I still remember, the memories we shared.
Every gentle word and loving touch,
Filling me with toxic happiness.

How did I fall for you?
How do I answer that?
The best answer, I think,

Is that you were different.

at 2:45 pm you tied your shoe
around three minutes ago
your eyebrows raised in confusion
as the professor didn't make sense

at 2:51 your eyes dart at me
she's familiar, you thought
how could i not be?
i know you.

at 3:15 am you rolled over the bed
you sleep so soundly
i miss your scent
the shirts i have barely had any left

at five past four i didn't catch
what you did
as the shrubs were itchy
i scratched
my head

click comes my camera
you never smile,
you don't notice me i suppose,
it's making me quite sad

chewed gum on the bin
how does it taste?
perhaps like your lips
that is wild in my dreams

as divine as you can be
i want to take you
like a picture where everything
is everlasting

six feet under
I'll be the only one
who will remember you forever

You have only seen yourself two times.
One, taking a picture and looking at
     the lovely image,
Two, staring at the mirror and looking at
     your dainty reflection…

You don’t get to see how your eyes glisten,
When you look up…

You don’t get to know how
     Your face lights up,
When you talk about something you love…

Or witness how pretty you are,
     Whenever you laugh and smile—

You can never see how beautiful you are,
It’s kind of sad actually.

But I’ll be there.
I’ll be there to tell you exactly what I see—
*
—I see fissures on your lips
as you speak,
as you laugh,
as you frown.

I watch closely as flood gushes…
Storms of tears flowing through your eyes.

I look intently at your pale thin cheeks,
Looking at how they **** in.

    Every moment smaller—
    Every second slower—

Observing every micrometer of your face,
Gosh, you’re still so beautiful…
     But we both know,
That your beauty can never be mine.
     Neither it be his—

Gazing upon your face,
     One last time,
     One last chance,

Bleakly hoping I can memorise your smile…

Mesmerised one last while…
     One.
     Last.
     Look.

It’s a little bit sad.
     Only I saw your beauty.
          And now it belongs to the ground.