I fell in love with you
And I fell hard
It wasn't easy falling
I got bruises and scratches
And you left me to bleed with tears in my eyes
You looked me in the face and told me you loved me
As you walked away

Its not hard for me to push my emotions away
Because it's so hard for me to show them
They're already so deep inside
That it doesn't take much
They are easily hidden
I suffer in silence
I don't want anyone to worry about me
Im fine Im ok
I don't do it anymore
Its over I'm fine
All lies
But its easier for you to hear
To think everything is fine

I wish I may
I wish I might
Have you back tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might
Feel your touch tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might
Hear your voice tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might
Be in your arms tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might
see your smile tonight

Won't you come back tonight
I want you back tonight
I wish I wish I wish

I speak your name
It feels so good on my tongue
It escapes my lips
In a whisper in a scream
My eyes cry for you
Runs down my face like a river
My heart is yours and always will be
It beats your name
My soul aches for you
It hurts not feeling you
I love you

Just because I'm pretty
Doesn't mean I deserve it
Just because im drunk
Doesn't mean I asked for it
Just because your attracted
Doesn't mean you can have
Just because The clothes I wear show my body
Doesn't mean you have access
Just because I'm a girl
Doesn't mean I'm less than
I'm not a toy
I'm not a object
I'm someone's daughter
Someone's sister
Someone's friend
I'm a person
With feelings
I'm someone

Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I wont miss you
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean Im not crying
Just because Im leaving
Doesn't mean my hearts not breaking
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I care about you any less
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I don't think of you everyday
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I don't want you to stay
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I want to go
I'm leaving because
I can't live in a world where I never know
We fight and you leave and it breaks my heart every time
Were only happy for 2 weeks at a time
That's why I'm leaving
My feelings for you hasn't changed  
I just hate feeling like my life is out of control

Thoughts of you gasping for your last breath
I couldn't imagine the world without you
A place where you don't exist
The end of you
I don't want to know that pain
I couldnt even imagine it

If you don't love me let me go
I won't forget you
You're the one I hold on to
I see you in my dreams
You're always on my mind
It doesn't matter if you leave
Because I still hold you in my heart
If you leave ill be a shell of what could be
You will live in a broken heart
Because I will never let you go

You love me
I love him
You're good for me
He is not
But my heart screams his name
Every night I see his face in my dreams
I try so hard to love you
And stop loving him
Something about the way he is
His voice his smile
It has my heart
And won't let it go

I got to let you go
Because holding on hurts

Im letting go
Moving on
I have to let you go
Ive held on so long
Ive held on even when I knew
There wasn't much more to hold on to
Ive watched us fade
Ive fell apart
Trying to keep it together
Ive cried a hundred tears

Wipe away your tears girl
Crying won't change it
Laughing will repair it
That's it
There you go
Life is short
Don't live it broken
That's what they say
I don't buy it
You see when the tears stain my eyes
That's when I feel a live
So when I lay in bed
I cry
No one sees
All they see is the smile
During the day
They fill me with pills
Here take this you'll feel better
They say
It doesn't work that way
See I'm the kind that feels lost without her tears
Fill me with the pills that steals the tears

She's a living dead girl she breathes but it isn't a life.  She is going through the motions of life but it isn't living. With every breathe she knows she is that much closer to death and that helps her live.

Love comes at a cost
The cost of your heart
You will be broken after
It will leave you on the floor with nothing
Nothing but memories  
Memories that breaks your heart over and over again

Love love is strange
It makes you happy and sad all at once
Holds you and lets you go
Love makes you who you are it changes you
It hurts it heals
It can make you bitter and broken
Tear your soul apart
Make you a cold heart

We loved
Fought  broke
I loved and loved
Until there was no more love to give
And it still wasn't enough for you
You left when I begged you to stay
Handed my heart back
Didn't look back
You seen it in my eyes
The hurt it was written on my face

I wrote a story I shouldn't of wrote
Met a character I shouldn't of met
Known a face I shouldnt of known
Felt at home where I shouldn't of been
Thought I was safe when I never was
Fell in love with a heart that was cold
Made soul mates with a shadow
Gave my heart to a empty shelf
All because your lips hit my lips like pen to paper

I love you. I Hate you.
It's a fight everyday.
Go away. Go away.
I don't wanna be you.
Love you. Hate you.
Never wanted to be you.
I am me and I hate me.
I am me and I love me.
Over think. Over think.
All I do is over think.
My mind won't stop it goes a million miles.
This this that.
Going on in my head.

Cutter cutter heres your lullaby
Take this knife and slice it away
Cutter cutter it won't be ok
Cutter cutter make me bleed
The voices in your head tell the truth
Cut away the pain its the only way
Cutter cutter you won't be ok
Cutter cutter go deeper
So many scars on her skin
They tell the story of her
Cutter cutter your scars tell you past
Cutter cutter how much longer
One day you might go to deep
Cutter cutter it'll get better
Cutter cutter cut no more

All I have left are
Dead dreams and broken promises
They are lost at sea
No one can find them but me
I tried to draw you a map
To my heart
But you threw it away

The memories we made
Is what made me stay
I've realize that no matter how long I stay
There won't be anymore good memories
All we're doing is contaminating the old ones
I don't want to remember you as pain
What were doing now is disgusting

Memories run through my mind
I close my eyes and I can see your face
And my heartbreaks again
I can close my eyes and almost feel your touch
Your voice I can always hear
For your so close to me
You live in my heart

Turn the music up and just forget the world
Rather it be singing along
Or dancing
Laying in your bed crying while the lyrics speaks to you
Turn the music up and let the world go

Why when the blade scraps across my skin
Does my breath refill my lungs
Before I was gasping to breathe
My Panic, is covered by the panic
That I might of went to deep
When the redness on my face
Fades to the redness dripping down my wrist
Is when it all stops
No more panic  
I rub the mark it leaves
Adding another scar to my collection
No it's not a collection you should have

I spend my days
Drinking you away
Tears running down my face
Smoke escaping my lips
Thoughts of you drowning my mind
Time passing me by

I want to be angry
******* and hate you
In stead I'm crying myself asleep
Falling a part wish you'd come back
Knowing that if you come back it will be different
Because the way you hurt me broke me
And I'm not the same girl you left

To the guy that broke my heart
I don't hate you I couldn't ever imagine hating you
I wanna thank you
You helped me realize how strong I really am
And the pain you left
In away I'm glad to have it
Because its the last thing of you that I have
You knew the girl before the hurt and pain
Im not gonna say I'm a whole different girl
Because I'm still me
But when you left It changed me
It broke me to my knees
I cried all my tears
Its time to give my heart a rest  
You no longer have this hold over me

My love for you changed me and when you left that changed me too

Im drowning all alone
No one here to save me
Im falling apart
No one to pick up the pieces
So I'm gonna save myself
Pick up my own pieces

The day you left
My world felt different
Empty and cold
I can still feel you
Like you never left
I see your face everywhere I go
I can still see your body
Just laying there tired and lifeless
I wanted to scream and cry
I wanted you to wake up and open your eyes

Lover can I give you my heart
Stay and never leave
Love me forever
Close your eyes and go at it wildly
Tell me I'm what's missing
Let me know I won your heart
Kiss me in the dark
Hold my hand like you never want to let it go
Love me and let me know
Love me forever and ever and never let me go

When you left
I broke and lost pieces of myself
You still have them
They belong to you now
I will never be the girl I used to be
You hold her in your memories and thats the only place she will ever be
When you come back I wont be the girl you remember
You wont recognize me
Your love changed me
And when you left me it changed me more

When you feel like dying keep living
But why for what just to get hurt again
Just to break more
Just to die a little bit inside
What's the point
Ill be ok and be ok
Until what until I'm not
Why even feel it if it is just gonna go away
Why even breathe to be just ok
We live and live
Give and give and give
And were ok were always oh ******* k

She's a beautiful disaster
Pale skin blue eyes
Dark messy hair
She wants to be someone else
You can see it in her sad eyes
The way her smile curves a little at the edges
The way she talks
Not what she says
But the tone she uses
She wants to be someone else
Someone prettier
Someone calmer
Someone someone other than me
    
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I want you to look at my picture
And feel the way I do
When I look at yours

I could say that I wrote this poem
But that would be a lie
The truth is it wrote it's self
With its lines
Of words that rhyme
Words
To good to be mine
They flow and flow
One right after another
Do they rhyme?

Frozen insides
Blue eyes mixed with sad
Empty heart
Fast mind
Emotions running fast
Sensitive soul
Blank stare
Depression all around
Tear stained cheeks

I'm running away
From my mistakes
I dont have to explain
Why I cant stay
I'm running away
From the tears I shed
The pain I felt when you left
I'm running away
And in the past you'll stay

Im not that sad lost girl anymore
Ive put her away
But she still talks to me
She tells me her fears her worries
She reminds me of her past
Some nights I hold her while she cries
Im there for her when she needs me
I need someone there for me when she comes to visit
When she's here I forget how far I've came
When she visits I become her again
I relive my pain from the past
I can't turn her away because she is me and she needs me
She doesn't want me to forget her to let her go

I grabbed the happiness
And choked you with my obsessiveness
My desperate attempt to keep you
Just pushed you away
And now I'm obsessing over the fact that I obsessed
I grabbed on to the only happiness in my sea of sad
Now I'm left here drowning
I guess I'm saying you were my life jacket
But I sunk myself trying to keep afloat
You wanted to stay and save me
Instead I just kept pushing myself under
With every obsessive thought
Every second guess
Every time I freaked out and sent you text after text
Asking the same questions over and over
I pushed you away as I pushed myself further under
And now I'm left in my sea of sadness
With only the memory of you

You come and you go like we're a game
See how far you can push me until I break
And when I break you pick me up again
Just to break me back down again
What game are we playing here
See how hard your words hit
And how your sudden silence kills me
If you ask me its a sick game we play
But like you said its a two player game
You play your part and I play mine
I just lose every time

Silly girl what are you doing
You're doing it again
Silly girl you're gonna get hurt
Letting someone in
Silly girl put your guard up
Silly girl what were you thinking
Crazy girl slow down
Your so intense girl
Take a breath girl
Put on the brakes
Girl
Fall and fall and fall
That's all I ever do is fall
I fall for the smile
I fall for the kisses
I fall for the cute face
I fall for the way you make me feel
I fall for you
It doesn't take much
It could be any
All it takes is the right words
And I fall
Nothing but a silly girl that falls to fast

We might be sister's
But I don't have to be like her
Just because were sisters
Doesn't mean I understand her
Just because were sisters
Doesn't mean you can use me
Just because were sisters
Doesn't mean I know her
Just because were sister's
Doesn't mean Im disposable at the chance to have her
Just because were sister's
Doesn't mean Im the second best to her
Just because were sister's
Doesn't mean you can ***** me and then her
Just because were sister's
Doesn't mean a thing
Just because were sister's
Means she'll choose me over you any day
Just because were sister's
I love her

I dont sleep to rest
I sleep to escape life
Sleep is the only time I feel relief
sleep is my death fantasy
I look forward to my little deaths every night.

I can never tell when you're staying or leaving
Slowing or going
You got my mind going crazy
Heart not knowing where you're going
Just knowing one thing
What my heart wants
Staying going never leaving
Green light red light with my emotions
Never know where to go
But I know how I feel
But where do I go with it all
Go fast Slow down
I never know

Ive lost you so many times
I think Im strong enough
That I don't need you now
Ive cried until my eyes are tired
Ive laid in bed thinking about you for to long
I broke and I broke
Until I can't break anymore
I loved and I loved
Until I can't love you anymore
Not the way I used to
And boy did I love you