I try to grasp reality again, but my mind falls short
Grief fills my lung
The waves swallow my cries
My heart flattened by the weight on my chest
And its pieces clogging my veins
The world goes dark

I wash ashore a shell of my former self

I missed  the sight of the stars in your eyes
Seeing the night swirl within your irises
Only to drown beyond your pupils.My heart races as the night stares me back

I missed you
I missed your glares
And the comforts they would bring
I missed your midnight gleam
Starring into me
Reaching into me
Playing with my heartstrings
And making a beautiful song of me
(Oh how the stars danced to those tunes)

I, a love struck stargazer,
Am trapped by a midnight's glare starring back at me
Trapped by the fires burning light-years away
Gently simmering before our lips touch at last

I missed the sight of the stars
And the comfort it would bring

Yesterday, I chased the stars
And what a miracle it was

Waltzing through the twilight
To the glimmer of distant stardust
And the song that wailed
From a heart I thought was dead

You chased the stars too
Hand in hand, we raced through a crystal night
With the dying winter's sun setting behind us
For a moment there, we remembered what innocence tasted like

And so we raced away
Deeper into the night
Excited for the brilliant summer days that awaited us

Please,
Just send me away to sleep
To dream an empty dream
And sleep an empty sleep
No matter what awaits me on the other side,
It can't be worse than memories ringing in my ear
Familiar sights slipping out of my grasp
And replaced with the nightmare of my past
The ache of my whithering body ringing ripping every tendon
Ringing through every bone
I want to turn away from my mistakes
Run away from those who left me
Turn away from their mental glare

I just want it to end for a bit
Please
I just want to sleep

And it was with one fatal glare
From gleaming rings of emerald
That a lost soul found himself again

Shifting, her eyes somehow darted around my glare
Escaping the chaos whirling trapped within my irises

Sifting, her passion leaked from the holes in her heart
And through the cuts life had left behind

Bellowed, my heart did
Piercing through her fleeting stares
Like a lonely siren echoing through a broken city night

I had to let her go
Or the chaos would consume her too

Walking alone, an hour after midnight
Was the first time I heard my world go quiet
The first time I
As I watched the planets go by
Under the moonless sky of July

Only the deep rumbled scattered through the silence of the night
As if the world I walked through mumbled drowsily as it slept
Or perhaps, it was the 1 o'clock train mowing across the night's horizon
No matter
The night's dreams offered a flurry of lights and sights
As the stars danced

I never knew that this world
A world I struggle to live in
One stricken by grief
Could be so silent while asleep
That my broken realm could be at peace
As I skimmed deeper beyond midnight
I finally understood how even while shrouded in gloom
Even with the dimmest of glimmer lighting the way
I can still be at peace

When will you return
Oh, explorer of grief and melancholy
When will you return from your trip
In the depths of despair
When will life finally release its deathly grip around you
So that you may smile that familiar smile of yours
So I may finally see the smile I live to see

No matter when you come
No matter how you return
Or in how many pieces
I'll be waiting
I'll be waiting to see your beautiful  self again
I'll be waiting to sink in the glimmer of your glares
No matter how dim it has become
I'll be waiting to indulge in the sweetness of your embrace
No matter how much life might have bittered its taste
To feel the touch of your palm
And any cuts life has left behind

And I'll be waiting to nurse back to health
To lighten your cosmic glares again
To sweeten the taste of your kisses
To wash away the dirt withing your cuts
To make you smile again

And even if you don't need me to heal
I'll be by your side
Smiling with you

I'll be here
I'll always be here

Sometimes,
I see the shimmer of your moonstone eyes
In the stillness of the night
Only for you to leave me again
When the morning comes

May I have this dance with you?
Shall we have this ballad
To the tune our hearts will sing
As we whirl beyond this realm of ours?

Can we be partners through time?
We can have the world as our stage
And the stars as our backdrop
Let us dance to the symphonies we will make
When our lips will indulge in each other's embrace
Let our passion be the architects of our ballad
Our waltz will be etched into the fabric of time
To be mimicked by the swirling of stars
And the pull of swelling waves
If you take my hand
And join your dance with mine,
The world will watch in envy
As our harmony will ring through time forever.

No longer does my pen bleed for me
No longer do my unwept tears
Form the ink that flows from my nib
Those days are gone

Farewell to those days
Of pages inked with caustic passion
No longer will they soak
In the bitter aftertaste of love

The madness has passed
The storm has settled
No more hiding from its crashing tides
Within the dreams of summer days
No more finding refuge in the daydreams of winter nightscapes
The storm has passed
And its woes have washed away with it

And for once I can say
That I can feel my heart beating again
I can feel the rush of a long forgotten vivacity
Pulsing through me
Filling me with hope once more

Passion
Warmth
Comfort
It's all coming back now

I was drunk off the thought of you
As I withered in the void you left in me,
I would find comfort in the thought of your hand in mine
In the dreams of us sharing a last embrace
Of your bliss melting in my mouth

In the kisses we would never share

Sleepless nights would be spent longing for you warmth
My arms longing to wrap around you waist
And my head spinning from a late night's crush

Why must you haunt me?
Why must I be addicted to the brush of your lips against mine?
The comfort of your kiss?

It's funny how, by trying to put myself together,
I flood my heart with grief
And warp the world around me,

All from thinking of you

I find myself lost again
In a pit void of light and hope
(With familiarity to bruise me further)

Who would drop me in here?

Where any weep you let out
No matter how quiet
Will echo back with the weight of all your sorrows

It's not like "friendship" and "true love" will help
Oh No
They have only dragged me deeper
Piercing my heart with blade called trust
And using you as a steping stone to leave
The very place I drown in

Why would they leave?

Only the lights of moments once shared
Seem to offer
Or some sense of it
But even the brightest of stars fade over time
Why would hope be any different?

Your eyes no longer shine
As bright as they once did
No more do your irises cage a raging flare
Once bursting with beauty

No longer do they conceal the lights the night brings out

I remember how they would endlesssly burn,
When the colours of a dying twilight
Would swirl within your bistre pupils
And lace your glares with its splendour
I remember, while our passion still burned,
Losing myself in the depths of your glare,
In the stars of your stares
In the depths of the night

That fire is gone
But its glow lives on
Somewhere within the dreams I love the most
Brightening my sleep with its bliss

Only our light shines now
Within the gloom that has consumed our lives
One day, our light will be consumed too

Let's not talk about it
Let's not find out when
Our time together will come to an end
And our paths diverge

So, Let's Live Now
Let our last kisses
Be the sparks that light the way
Before life blows our flame out

I have seen many walk by
And they all caried something I'll never have again
A smile
A genuine one

Is that too much to ask for?
Just one moment of pure joy
As if I was kissed by the lips of bliss herself?
Is that too much to have?

Perhaps it is
Maybe I should give up
Let my weeps go unheard
Let my sould wither away
Let my heart shrivel under life's grasp

Maybe I'm just cursed
To lurk in the dreams of the past
Just for a glimpse of hope

The moment was brief
But I saw through your cracks
And saw your missing pieces

Behind that mask of yours
Behind that smile you love to wear
Is a child drowning int its own tears
A soul in need of fixing

There's no need to hide your broken pieces
I want to put you back together
I can help you

The ecstasy of our embrace
Can be the glue that holds you together,
The soil that can make your grow
I can be your nurse
The artist that decorates your soul
With the beauty embedded in your broken self

With your shattered pieces
We can make something beautiful

What were you to me?
It is only now when you are gone
That I begin to find out

Yearning for a glimpse of hope,
Out you come to save me
Under the frozen skies of winter

We ventured
Eager to find a hand to hold
Roaming through the snow, we found each other
Endlessly trapped in each other's embrace

Mesmerized, we continued to walk hand in hand
Inking the songs we made in our hearts forever
Never to be forgotten, I'll always hum the tunes we made
Every time I think of you

I miss you
I don't know why.
We talked yesterday

Yes,
I remember how your eyes sparkled
Two rings of a bistre fire
Shining with a midnight's glow
I remember how I was lost in them

I wish that your hand was still in mine
How I wish I could pull you close to me
To share just one more moment with you
Instead of wasting away
With the night's howls as my only companion

Maybe, I just miss your comfort
No matter
I could use your warmth right about now

Comfort
Yeah, I miss that

Who knew that a country could turn on itself
Letting its streets reek of blood?
Who knew that the world could sit back and watch
As a nation committed suicide?

Who knew that the hands of your best friend
The one you loved to hold walking to school
Would one day hold the weapon of your demise
Her blade dripping your neighbor's blood
Or your mother's
Or your uncle's
Or just another farmer's
You wouldn't be able to tell anymore

Imagine
The anthem of a race, with hate as their weapon,
Would be the cries of those slowly dying
Bleeding for one hundred days
And crying for one hundred nights
Imagine the cries of your family
And the chaos brewing outside your door
As your only lullaby

That was my once a place I called home

Do I love you
Or do I just love the thought of you?
The thought of you with me
Is this just an illusion my rotting heart has drawn
For it to have a reason to keep beating?

Is love a lie
Or just my idea of love?

Do I hold your hand
Just for the feeling of your warmth
Or because I care?
Does the thought of you keep me up at night,
Because I need you
Or because I need comfort?

Is passion my drug
And you're just a relapse?

Do I love you?
Do I really love you?

It was yesterday that my past spoke to me
I heard familiar chimes ring
I heard the faded chords of songs I used to sing
Oh, how they twinkled
How the pulled me back to a realm only I knew
A world I long forgot

Where daydreams were once painted
Where nightmares now crawl

A world endlessly empty
Where I once spent most of my slumbers
Dancing with sparkling dreams
And waltzing to their tunes
Their ballads and lights lacing my dreams with hope

If only those dreams never came to an end
If only this world of mine had something left
For me to cherish
No fragments of wilting dreams
Their ashes stain my sleep
No more twisted song, no more broken chimes
Those songs live in the hearts of my nightmares

It was yesterday that my past spoke to me
As I ventured a place where my dreams used to be

We are all part of this game, aren't we?
This charade
This masquerade we love to play with one another

Why must we keep our true colours
Hidden behind our mask,
Our smiles?
Why must we muffle the whispers
Our broken hearts so desperately wants to let out

Why do we love to play this game
Even if our hearts tell us otherwise?

These smiles
They are not sincere
Not anymore
What happened?
What can we do?

Be there for each other.

Hidden in the masquerade of skyscrapers,
Muffled by the breaths of the city,
Live the kids of the blackened streets of the forgotten
In the Projects

Within the maze of crumbling buildings,
Lie the children who've seen the face of death
The ringing of police sirens
Are their morning alarm
And their lullaby before bed
They sing along to the anthem of gunshots
They paint the walls of their mind
With the blood of their fallen brothers

There is no escape
From the tyranny of the ghettos
Their fate is sealed.
Each of them is doomed to find themselves
On the wrong end of a gun
Held by the trigger-happy hands of a man in uniform
Or worse, killed by one of their own blood

Safety is but a dream
Under the lucid sleep of **** and Xanax
Dissipating through the grey streams of smoke
Chasing the broken skyline

Who know what waits for us
Beyond this world we know to well
A world familiar sights and faces
That we will never see again

Who knows what is at the other end
Of our leap into the dark
Who knows what awaits
In the unfamiliar
In the unknown

Nightmares perhaps
Creatures crawling from the sketchiest corners of our sleep
Or maybe,
Hopefully,
A light of some kind

Who know?

I wonder
Falling to the tune of the unknown
Laughing as I'm ****** into to what seems to be my doom
The end of my world
And the birth of the next

Hopefull, the next will be a great one

I love the sound of clouds rolling in the morning
The sight of the grey of a coming storm
Clashing with the dark of a whithering night

And I could feel the rain coming

A feefall of raindrops
Washing away any haunts left by night
Thr chorus of an autumn's monsoon
Clashing with the whispers of the wind

Slowly will it pass
Slowly will the sun take its place

I was drunk off the thought of you.
As I withered in the void you left in me,
I would find comfort in the thought of your hand in mine,
In the dreams of us sharing a last embrace,
Of your bliss melting in my mouth

In the kisses we would never share

Sleepless nights would be spent longing for your warmth
My arms longing to wrap around you waist
And my head spinning from a late night's crush

Why must you haunt me?
Why must I be addicted to the brush of your lips against mine,
The comfort of your kiss?

It's funny how, by trying to put myself together,
I flooded my heart with grief
And warped the world around me,
All from thinking of you

I hated loving you

How is it that the winds gentle push
And a sun's golden rays
Could make an autumn's end so comforting?
With its lights and colours distorted by a fading sky
As the sun begins its descent beyond the horizon
Where its sleep awaits

And it was while the sun shined its final rays
That I saw the last leaf fall
All the way to it's elegant doom

It dove ever so gently
Dancing
Waltzing
Its ruby red tips trembling
As they skimmed the crisp flesh of the evening

It was today that I witnessed the last piece of a vivid autumn
Get carried away to a world beyond mine
Where all seasons go to die

Somehow, the frost gave him warmth
It was his only companion
Through a winter's wasteland

Any whisper he would mutter
Would dissipate into a cloud of mist
Fleeing his lips,
Chasing the frozen sun above.
Only the prairie of snow heard his cries
He knew the winter would listen

So, he kept plowing
Through a world void of life and colour
While he tried to escape his own

If the night could laugh
It would have the rhythms of your voice,
My favourite lullaby

If the light of an autumn dusk could could see
Its eyes would shine a bister glow
Of the gems that plate your irises

If a fleeting midnight's breeze could speak
It would have your voice
Whispering that same words you love to chime

If only the night could breathe
Perhaps it would be as beautiful as you

I took my first wrong turn
When I stopped loving you
And letting all our memories
All the moments we shared
Wither along side me

That is when the winter came
That is when the cold became my friend

That mistress trapped me in her embrace
And somehow, I found comfort in her cold
In winter winds caressing my cheek
And being drenched in the rays of a frozen sun

But Winter eventually passed
Leaving me to perish
In the storm raging within me

They scorch with blistering beauty
Not with the madness of towering flames
But with the glimmer of a candle's glow
Its light melting the coldests of hearts
With a single glare

Your eyes
Your irises
They are rings of fire
But they only burn for a single second

Before we kiss
Before our souls touch

Why does my room suddenly feel bigger
Almost empty,
The silence of this void
So deafening
Now that you're gone?

Only one light remains here now
"11:11", the clocks beams
Its light swallowed by whatever darkness consumes the room
And the night's silence was shattered by your voice
"Make a wish", I could still hear you say

I could stand my room no longer
So, here I am outside remembering you
Or forgetting
I don't know anymore

These streets are so cold and lonesome
Without you to keep me warm
Without you counting the passing flakes
Or even joining them in their dance

Now to venture these streets
With nostalgia and madness
As my only companions

Rolling clouds brushing broken skies
Swirl over tress drenched in autumn's glows
The leaves, like pieces of gems
Glistening in the setting sun
Remained pinned their branches
Their stems weakening

And it's under autumns trance
That I first saw the stars in your eyes

Two pieces midnight gloom
Carved from the void of darkened skies,
Caged within your Topaz irises,
Have the stars rippling inside
And the colours of a young autumn
Only made them seem to shine brighter.

I haven't stopped loving you since

Wilting
A beautiful word with a tragic tale
It paints such a fatal scene
On the tip of your tongue
Every time its whispers escapes your lips reach

Like a blue orchid petal
Falling to its elegant doom

A piece of a sapphire whole
Once glowing with delirious charm
Now shriveled and grey

Every detail of its fall
Is traced by the sound of the word
Every motion of its tips
Every step of its tragic dance
Is woven within its syllables
Wilting

Can you hear it?
The disorder of the world
Muffled by the snow

The calm of the scape
Only broken by the dance of the flakes
Sweeps through the trees
Under the moonless abyss of the night

Here, there is no terror
The only echoes
Are from the chaos raging within

Never did I think
I would ever hold your hand again
Or feel the tenderness of your fingertips
Brush my cheek before out lips touch

Never did I think
I would share a moment of bliss with you again

And here I am
Revisiting forgotten paths
With you by my side

It was when the last leaf fell
That I first met you
A glimmer of warmth
In the nip of winter
A burst of colour
In a world buried in white

A gentle breeze
In a world of whirling discord

And I can still hear you whisper
Every time the wind blows
I still see the ripples of your irises
Within the swirls the flakes dance
As I venture familiar sights
Without you

It was when the snowflakes last waltzed
That I first fell for the winter within your eyes,
Your heart of ice and snow
Despite the void you left behind,
I will always feel your spirit under winter skies
Because I know you're somewhere up there
Dancing among the flakes

Here I lay in a golden field
With your hand slowly slipping from mine
With its darkness creeping over the horizon
The night withers away the orange rays
Of a bright summer's love

Your hand
The warmth of your vivacity
Has left with the light of day

And now, to silence the pain
Through the emptiness of sleep
For the rest of the ceaseless night.

I can only dream of the soul
Which lives beneath your cream white skin
I know that behind your sapphire encrusted eyes
Is a heart dipped in the bliss of nature
Pumping the rhythm of a starry night
While the Northern Lights dance within your pupils

Please, fill me with your night time splendour
Fill me with the divinity which fills your soul
With a single kiss, you can turn my whirling storm
Into the gentle swells of a twilight's glimmer

For a kiss with you
Would be a taste of midnight bliss

Goodnight stars
Goodnight summer
Goodnight interstellar glimmer

Goodnight auroras, forever dancing
Goodnight to all the treetop prancing

Goodnight Hailey, racing comet
Goodnight to whom I write my sonnet

Goodnight crickets
Goodnight moon
Goodnight to you all, I'll see you soon

I find myself under the spell
Of the hollow walls of my mind
Painted by the venom of former lovers
I venture my soul, littered by memories,
For one final taste of bliss

Where to look?

Should I look through the eyes of a crush
In between the frames of a wilting picture?
Or the childhood tunes that I would hum
Every night, before bed?
Can the daydreams of the night sky
Get me closer to a kiss with bliss?

That kiss is no more than a dream
Which laces my sleep with hope
I continue to roam within the shadows of memories
To waltz to the song of weeps forever

The way our blazing passions collided was beautiful
Our sparks were caught in an eternal ballad
Each mimicking the ecstatic bursts of the other

But our dance
Turned into a fight

It was a perfect storm
Two scorching typhoons of emotions
Plowing through the paths we once ventured together
Ripping through -and burning -the fields where our souls first touched
Erasing our memories from our hearts

Our fury burned bright
But our ballad remained beautiful
The music of our universes being torn apart whaled
As we both animated our destructions

But somewhere in our scattered souls
Deep inside the ashes of our love
A flame still shine

Awake for hours on end
And for what?
What have I accomplished?

All I did was swim among the echoes of my memories
Desperately trying to recapture it's magic
All I've done is drown out the chaos of my brain
Through the songs of nostalgia that ring in my ear

But, that will all end with sleep.
Ah yes, the drowsy perfume of my bed
Will silence the pain
Through the enchanted images of my dreams

Yes, sleep will end it all
The half death of my soul will send me off into the next morning
To dance with death some more