~

You're going to catch a cold and die
He laughed it off with a gentle sigh
It's not that cold
It really is!!!
And so our little argument begins

The wind isint cold

A confident tone within his voice
Wearing an amused smile
Stop right there kid
Its too early to rejoice

But the wind itself IS cold

That's not how it works

An endless back and forth verbal fight
Dragging on into the dark hours of the night
This was clearly going no where
We made the call to look it up
Its stated that

wind and air which has heated up,
slightly is moved and replaced for new air which is colder

Grinning like a Cheshire cat
Thinking he had won the Game
That almost taunting smile
I swear its driving me insane

But... It says its cold

Groaning in frustration
He yells out loud
I give up!
Now he's not too proud

Burying his head
Into his arms
I'm laughing away
Trying not to do anymore harm

I don't understand how you don't get it at all

I just dont want you to catch a cold

He signs as he goes out yet again
Getting into his car
He sends me a picture
He'd put on his jacket
Are you happy now?

Very.


The wind isint cold



~

The moment I turned
and walked away
I felt my heart break a little
He didn't chase

Slowly taking steps
Without looking back
I couldn't hear his footsteps
But I couldn't backtrack

I felt my feet getting heavy
dragging them along
Desperately wanting to run
Back to where I belong

Within his arms safely
Standing side by side
Contently drifting along
As gentle waves by the seaside

The happiest they've ever seen me
Most carefree I've ever been
I was completely in love
A world consisting of just me and him

Though a raging river stood
Between our hearts
And in the end I was
The one left behind in the dark

As I raised my head high
Marching along to a beat
I've learnt to smile yet again
At last I can feel complete

Time has passed over
And not once did he chase
But the moment he did
It was already to late

I grew tired of running
Trailing after him
Was it really to much effort
To try and run after me too?

When I got up
Letting go of his hand
he didn't try to stop me
I guess this was where he stands

I knew then
He doesn't love me
And he never will

We have reached our limits
He no longer needs me
I've given all that I can give
So no matter what happens now

I'm not turning back


~

~

Nobody Loves me
Nobody really cares

But I do my darling
Just take a look into my eyes
I've been through hell and back with you
Together we have touched the skies

From the beginning to the end
We've seen each other through it
The lies and deceit, heart stopping truths
Where others would have split
We made it through our youth

When we first met you were smol
Barely even my height
A friendship made through stripper jokes
And you being my favourite white

Casual racism erupted
A classic joke among our friends
During a time where we were once happy
Innocent even, before that bitter end

Slowly you grew taller
Quite frankly you have changed
No longer that touchy goofball
Reasoning for that we leave unexplained

Though I still love you dearly
No matter what kind of person you become
Even if you turned into a vile beast
I would still act like your mum

From your oddly perfectly shaped eyebrows
Those glistening endless voids you call your eyes
Hair roughly pushed to the side
Matched with a cheeky grin that people seem to idolise

3 Years I would say its been
Though clearly its the wrong number
Knowing all about your weird life
Sharing memories from past summers

An ungodly collection of hats
littered throughout your room
The ugly ones shoved above the closet
That black one with green splats I presume

We went to that amazing concert together
Rocking it out within the mosh pit
I'll never forget that amazing day
As we reconnected even if it was just a bit

Your escape through street fighting
A dark time for both of us I remember
But it looks like we stuck it out
We made it past that December

Even if we wanted to end it all
The depression still hitting us in waves
The relaps of that fateful period
Still echoes within my brain

But like I've said once
And will say a million times over
I love you my dear boy
Even if you feel like a complete loner

I'll continue holding my hand out
Incase you slip and fall
Even if you don't need it
Just don't forget its there is all


I want you to know
I love you
Remember that Riy


~

I watched it all happened
I watched it all burn down
And yet I stood there watching
Without uttering a single sound

I knew all their secrests
I knew all their lies
I knew the real stories
All from each side

Trusted by all
They told me all things
But I stood there in silence
As they played a game of kings

Doing nothing at all
Even though i held the power
I just let them fall
Withering like a flower

Times have moved on
They are all no longer friends
I'm the last connection
There is no chance they will make amends

People fall apart
All rundown to different ends
Hatred and recentment burns
Though cast away by the winds

I see them all now
And even I've lost that spark
The one I once held
When the whole world seemed dark

As I stand upon the ashes
Of the loving people I once knew
That time gone and forgotten now
The very thought to which is taboo

Yet here I stand
At what was the foundation of the past
Holding the matchbox in hand
Crying, I thought it would last

I did nothing to stop it
I myself set it ablaze
So much for the peacekeeper
all she could do was gaze

And try and act innocent
Attempting not to get burnt
You would think after such tragedy
That I would have learnt

But its a burden I'll carry
Right down to my grave
Knowing I destroyed them
When they could have been saved

I let them burn
What kind of a monster does that?
*******...

I'm Guilty


~

Take my heart
Break it in two
Crumble it to pieces
Its okay I want you too

Tell me pretty lies
Syrup dipped candy
You're words have such sweetness
Keep on drinking that brandy

Beat around the bush
Play you're little games
Run wild and free
Be sure to fasten my chains

Kiss that other girl
Play me like an upright base
Feed me those excuses
Let the tears pour down my face

Allow me to feel the love
Thats as plastic as that grin
False sense of security
Call it my original sin

Take another trophy
Place it upon your shelf
Right next to the rest of them
I'm sure your proud of yourself

Throw me away once at the end
Once you've had your fill
Just like the rest of them
I'll tumble downhill

I'll cry out my heart
Desperately want you back
But just like the rest of them
I was just another past time snack

I'm stupid I know
But hit play
I'm stuck on repeat







Help me.....


~

Admire her
From behind the glass
Look on closely
She's holding her mask

Don't step to close
You mustn't touch the exhibit
She may break into pieces
As she is fragile and timid

Look upon her
With starry filled eyes
That innocent and purity
Its that trust which causes her cries

See the elegantly placed roses
Vines that surround her skin
Peer a little bit closer
The thorns are piercing in

She smiles so beautifully
Its gentle and bright
Its a wonder why her eyes
Hold such little light

Take a step back
You're in far too close
You're scaring her away
And there she goes

Back into her shell
Made of mirrored crystal glass
Look upon the surface and see
Your true self reflected
Try not to be brass

You will only see yourself
The longer you stare
And soon you'll believe
That's the only thing there

Hidden away
Behind the illusions of the mind
Its tucked away safely
Within her own elaborate design

Her own personal prison
Eternally trapped
Within an art gallery of foes
What secrets are hidden underneath that mask?
Unfortunately not even the artist seems to knows

Dont touch the Artwork




~

A thousand petals
Flow through the sky
Gracefully floating
In and out of sight  

Behind the walls
Of roses a gleam
A labyrinth awaits
Filled with the wildest dreams  

Clicking of heels
Running upon a stoney little path
He's calling your name
Simply follow along the footpath

You can see his smile
As he turns another corner
Ever so slightly out of reach
Keep going you're getting warmer

The sun streams down
Following at each turn
It seems so hopeless now
But determination is stern

He's teasing you
You can hear his voice in the wind
Like a mere whisper by your ear
Its drawing you in

To a place that you thought
Was only within fairy tales
And finally you reach him
Taking in all of the details

Capturing this moment
Like a photograph and image
Forever engraved into your mind
You can hear them all saying

Love can be blind

Forgetting the past
History of you and him
He's the one you want
Even if all odds seem dim

In the moment you let him hold you
Gently within his arms
And you truly believe then
He could never do you harm

Though when the world seems to fade
And you've been hurt time and time again
You're willing to believe anything
Allowing yourself to fall victim to sin

But in this rose filled garden
Where the sun is beautifully bright
You forget about the reality
And allow yourself to bask in the light  

Closing your eyes
Here he's standing handsome and tall
But when you open you're eyes
There will be nothing at all

Within this Rose Filled Garden



~

The bushland calls
Of my childhood dreams
Amongst the wild
My soul it, sings

The gentle breeze
light upon the skin
Sun upon my face
it welcomes me in

To the lands of summers
Though now long gone

Memories of the heats haze
With a white juvenile horse
Within a closed off field it lay
But young and free it was born

Birds flying high above
Shielding the rays of the sky
Perfectly clear a crystal bright blue
Not a single cloud in sight

Fields filled with nothing
But the dirt beneath our feet
Dull patches of green and yellow
Amongst cattle it feeds

A rooster it crows loud
The chooks begin to run
As bruce, a little staffy
Chases them about

Work shed full of tools
Covered by a rusted tin roof
Parked beside it old barrols
And a broken down ute

Stone walls of the house
To keep it cool inside
Spread across the cold floors
A reddish brown cowhide

Worn down leather couch
Out upon the front porch
An eski filled with stubbies
Where the boys had their "talks"

I feel the memories flooding back
This peacefulness, this sense of home
Hours pass by within seconds
Losing myself in the zone

My footsteps have long faded with time
As has my name once carved upon the gumtrees
The white stallion no longer grazes near by
Nor do the same cattle dwell in that field

Worn down by time and way of the land
Though I do intend to return again
To share the beauty of this place
Drawn back by the old fate

The day melts away like the snow
And I hear my parent calling my name
This place will forever be my second home
Because I know here, I'll never be alone

That smile of his
Held the beauty of the world
It was ever so charming and undeniably sweet
Entrancing all those who lay eyes upon it
There was a time where I once imaged
I could even sell my soul if need be
Whenever I saw his precious smile

Then I came to see
The true colours behind that smile
Twas like a poisonous flower
Blooming and vibrant
Luring in its fragile prey
Bewitching it within its spell
Intoxicated by the nectar
Unable to ever leave

Upon revealing the truth
That lay so evidently to preying eyes
He had already long abandoned me
leaving nothing but a memory of what was
And a forever lingering taste of honey
A sweetness upon my tongue

Though it is best to end this longing
This yearning for that man
Who's smile warmed my heart
halting my breath but for a moment
As if encased within a time
When my entire world was composed of
Only him and that devious smile













Yet my mind refuses to forget....


.

They say that good people
Are meant to stay away from people who are "bad"
They learn that their pity towards those people get them nowhere
They come to know that they should push those who are bad away
Those people who are outcasts, Who are loners
The players, delinquents and rebels
The people who spit venom when approached
That talk or dress in a particular way, who have this "look"
That say hateful things, and do things that hurt others
Destroying every piece of happiness that dares enter their lives
The 'Good' learn to avoid these types of people
and many times its for good reason

Though I believe that there is a reason behind every action
When a person is driven to hurt others
its because somebody has hurt them too
Those people who seem cold and push people away
Those people that say hateful things in a spur of a moment
The people who act in irregular ways from a 'normal' person
Its to those people that we should be kind
Though through your kindness you must be sincere
As merely fake kindness will only hurt them more

I believe that the people who do bad things
They know what they doing is wrong
But I believe that there is a reasoning behind them
That many people don't seem to want to understand
Its something that they don't want to see
As much as those people don't want to believe that people can be truly kind
Forcing themselves to believe that the world is truly so cold and cruel
And that there is not a trace of anything beautiful

Be kind to them
please,

Sincerely An outsider

If I were to scream out all my thoughts
All my insecurities and feelings

Would you hear me?

If I were to wipe away this facade
To reveal my raw emotion

Would you be willing to see me?

If I were to stop putting you first
To stop giving you my everything in exchange for nothing

Would you still be with me?

If I were to break open my heart
And give you my love and affection

Would you love me back?

If I keep giving and you keep taking
An never ending cycle

Would I have anything left?

And when finally I have nothing else to give, and u have nothing else you want

Would you still be standing here holding my hand?
Or would you just leave me behind

I wonder
Would you be any different from the rest?

You know....
I've changed in these past months
I didnt think you would notice
My speech and personality has escalated
It seems I've lost my focus

I'm empty from the longing
The airy feeling left in my chest
I'm speaking to you with no feeling
Surely I would jest

Its scary to think how much I cared
Everything I sacrificed
All the things I did for your sake
To think I was satisfied

You were like a sweet chocolate
Melting on my tongue
Only to reveal bitterness
Which kind of stung

I can't say I regret it though
Giving you all my time
I would do it all over again
Even if my love isint worth a dime

You know...
I've really grown
Since you left me here alone
I've managed to take your lead
But my sins will not be atoned

Now if I could really go back
I dont think I could
As I have friends that love me now
Life right now is good

I learned from you
And what we had
I noticed now
That our relationship was bad

You know...
Thought its labelled like that
As toxic and deadly
I still loved every moment
You were the first to hold me steady

The first to make me feel such want
intoxicated by the love we had
Drunken off our hearts beating in sync
Even if that was what caused us to sink

We sunk into the depth below
Further down then any man was willing to go
Freely falling into timeless space
throwing away the cruel reality that we both refused to face

You know...
By our ending
Where our ties became undone
Our final page was turned
And the ink had run to none
I loved you

With everything I had
I counted the Stars
Praying for a wish
a wish for eternity to be like this

Though silly wishes that are made upon stars
Dont last for eternity
And they tend to leave nasty scars
Though you left me
My feelings never changed
Even if the curtains have fallen upon the stage

You know....
The play does go on

Why now?
Out all these months, All this time
Why is it now that you think its okay to jump back into my life?
You vanish, I cut off everything for you
I left my heart behind in the dirt
I buried my love six feet underground
To forget you, like you forgot me
But here you are again
Acting as if nothing has changed
My phone gleaming with your messages
And I respond to you in a heartbeat
I have no self control
You're stirring up a storm
Though you don't know the effect
This intoxicating feeling you give to me
With a single word or a call
It sends my heart into flutters
I love you
No, I did love you
I need to stop this now
I can't fall back in again not after everything
Not after what I went through to get out
It hurts too much to try again
but everything about you draws me in
Your striking blue eyes that seem to mirror the sky
Long wavy hair, in a Carmel brown
Soft to the touch, gently running through my fingers
It sends a shiver down my spin to think
But its forbidden to return to that place
To that state of mind and time
We removed that memory
Along with our existence
So why is it now
Why now have you come back?


Please don't come back
because I am still
Unable to Resist

#

They say
if you fold a thousand paper stars
It'll make your wish come true
But it seems no matter
How many I fold
I'm still unable to be beside you

I'll fold them gently
Full of colors so bright
Softly and patiently
Till they are perfect and right

I wish and I hope
With all of my might
Though its seemed I'm lost
Within the dark of the night

Lucky stars
Made from paper
Strips with written meanings
Delicately placed within a glass bottle
Filled with my heartfelt feelings

Folding and bending
Changing the paper at will
To form a fragile little star
Let this small insignificant thing
Give me reason to move on
Allow it to give me faith to believe
To believe in this delusional dream

Its hard to stop and smell the flowers
When the sun in the sky don't shine

Its clouded within my mind
foggy and dimly lit
As if I'm floating on a cloud
Or sinking into the sea
As if everything around me is meaningless
Passing me by without a seconds glance
Surrounded by faces laughing with glee
Muted voices and blurry sences
I'm watching it from a silver screen
I raise my hand to reach out
To feel the warm of an affectionate touch
Gracing the faces my hand goes straight through
Like rippled water its cold and cool
Emotionless expressions and tightly pursed lips
All in dark colours, greys and blues
Its a hopeless feeling of being so lost
What can I do except sit back and watch
Doors wide open there is no lock and key
There is only this reflection sitting besides me
Holding my hand, boney and thin
He whispers to me with a raspy voice
Tell me dear what is your true sin
To which i reply
I'm unwilling to let people in
A barrier between them
Keeping them at 10 feet
Empty glass eyes gazing at the screen
I don't have the time, to sit there and weep
To which i suppose is why I stay here with you
A malicious grin stretched across his face
Dark Blue orbs filled with a sadistic appeal
To which i find comfort within them I yield
Then stay with me behind the curtains of the show
Because surely by now you realize
I'm never letting you go

I know.

#

You were
Poison coursing my veins
Rope around my neck
A Bullet to my brain
Leaving me in a wreak

You were a
Cold blade to my wrist
A sweet gentle kiss
Hard hitting fists
Bruises were hard to miss

You were
Sunrise at dawn
Fresh flowers in spring
Stars glistening in the sky
A beautiful diamond ring

You were all these things and more
Everything I desired
Your beauty was intoxicating
A deadly taste I had acquired

I miss you

I know I'm better off without you
As your love was killing me slowly
Though I reminisce of that ever so sweet venom
That drew me in so closely.

To be honest
I'm happy
I'm content with my life
I wouldn't change a thing
From the past to the present
All the people I loved
I'll never regret
And all the things that I've done
Even the things that leave holes in my chest
To all the mistakes I've made
And to all the people I've hurt
Each thing made me who I am
All the love and the pain
I wish for nothing more
Except for everything to stay in its place
But even when things stay
They still ever so slightly change
Changing in colour, in feeling and shape
To wish for the inevitable
That is part of my fate
There is no stopping time
I know this one well
But it still won't stop me hoping
Upon it I'll eternally dwell
To all the people in my life
And all those gone
I loved each moment spent with you
From the dusk to the dawn

Free your spirt
Free your mind
Through a dance
Let your soul entwine
Through movements fast
And movement slow
Let the rhythm of the music flow
Feel each beat
From the tip of your fingers
To the end of your feet
Take a step, a leap
And gracefully fall
But don't forget
To catch yourself after all
Stand on your toes
Take a deep breath
Within these moments
You are able to forget
Release your troubles
Unveil your mask
As this is where
Your story starts

Cold kiss of the night
Caressing the skin
Hearts a race
Awaiting the battle to begin

Bats in hands
Hair tied back
Leather jackets on
Ready for the attack

Killer instinct ignited
Burning with rage
Betrayal among one
Is the creation of a rampage

The moon high above
As a witness to many
Dedication to the kin  
Such actions can be deadly

To stand together as one
As comrades and friends
To the rest be weary
As this may be your bitter end

As the bruises begin to form
And blood begins to fall
The last of their pack retreat
Be it run, limp or crawl

Running away
Tail between their legs
Our Reputations precedes us
known by the streets dyed in red

Unveiling our faces
Before the morning dawns
Vanishing to nothingness
Disbanded and gone

A sliver tongue
Graced with the beauty of song
Is able to spit poison
If you do them wrong
Strung together words
matched to a rhythm
igniting our souls
through a wondrous musician
Floating gently
As if your about to fall
then opening your eyes
there is nothing there at all
Flowers bloom
beautifully one by one
eventually they wither
As we all become undone
Wings that can soar
That can fly through the sky
Clipped off by humans
who would rather watch us die
Fighting a battle
becoming rough and torn
keep coming back even stronger
otherwise you'll be gone
Fascinating how
the world tears us apart
though somehow we manage
To protect our beating hearts

He gave me his crown
Placed it upon my head
Gently held my hands
Tracing circles before he fled

Glistening with jewels
Woven into our history
His kingdom in ashes
leaving but an air of mystery

Looking over the people
From the nobles to the peasants
observing the beautiful scenery
though its empty without his presence

Giving me the key
Power and command
On a throne made of thorns
though I still couldn't understand

I didn't want this authority
His position or place
I merely wanted him
To be held within that embrace

His touch still lingers
like small butterfly kisses
upon the skin

It's meaningless now
It's melted away like the snow
A kingdom in ruins
But I have nowhere else to go

I never wanted that crown
That seemed to glisten and gleam
I only wanted to stand by him
I didn't want to be a Queen

I would give everything away
throw that crown down with pride
just for a fleeting moment
to have you back at my side

#

He was my first
Love
My first
Heartbreak

He was the first
Boy who made me smile
Yet
Cry a thousand tears

He was the first boy
To keep me awake all night
That left me
Feeling hopeless but full of light

He was the first
Sunset at the dawn
Glowing with colours so bright
But he was also quite capable
Of being the terrors of the night

He was warm
Chocolate brown eyes
His smile set blaze to my heart
But all while tearing it apart

He was cold
Stringing me along for fun
Yet even so I loved him
I never wanted to run

He was a mixture
Of bitter and sweet
Just one taste
Had my knees falling weak

He was my oxygen
The air that I breath
Without him
I was consumed by grief

Though now
As I walk these halls
I know to him
I mean nothing at all

He was the first boy
Who left meaning in my heart
I'll always have a soft spot for him
Eternalized within memory as the boy who was once my sweeheart

On the pole
I dance
Wild and free
Doing flips
And tricks
For all to see

On the pole
I forget
The harsh reality
Embraced in music
I can truly be
Carefree

On the pole
I can pretend
To be anybody at all
Elegantly entwined
Both body and soul
This Persona of mine
Who's not afraid to fall

On the pole
I dance
My wildest dreams
Feeling the lyrics
Of a song
Synching my Heart
To each beat

On the pole
I Dance
Within a room
Filled by stars
Gleaming with light
Portraying the beauty
Of the night

On the Ground
I land
Perfectly safe and sound
No applause but silence
Littered all around
Looking into the mirror
I'm standing there proud
There's nobody but me
Outterly spellbound

On the pole

#

Every time the rain comes down
Gently pattering on the rooftops
Cold and yet so peaceful
When everything just seems to stop

I'll be there on your doorstep
Ready to take your hand
To warm your broken heart
Allowing you to withstand

Every time the rain comes down
I'll be there by your side
Fluffy blankets and hot coco
I promise you will be safe and dry

I'll be the knight that guards your door
So you may sleep pleasantly at ease
I'll chase away the demons
At last you may have some peace

Every time the rain comes down
I promise I will be around
Don't worry for I'll protect you
This storm will simply pass through

It'll be okay
As it cant rain forever
Dark gloomy clouds will pass us by
After the rain things always get better

I like to play myself
Pretend that I'm evil
Create a whole facade
Cunning and lethal

I like to pretend I'm somebody else
A cold manipulative snake
Armed with fatal venom
Conjuring up much heartache

I like to throw myself in harms way
To achieve somebody else goal
A weapon of mass destruction
Its as if I have no soul

I like to act as the fuel to hatred
Target of their raging fury
Vent and break me with all your might
Tho I warn you the end is quite unsavoury

I like to be the victim of the blame
Go on and paint me as the villain
Justify your actions controlled by pain
That way it won't all be in vain

I like to be the madman behind the mess
The *****, Mastermind, The Monster
Where sins of others pale in comparison
Allowing them to feel far more arrogant

let them be excused for their actions
Which cause them such pains
Allow them to rest at last
Without those heavy chains

By allowing them to believe
That everything was truly my fault
It allows them to sleep peacefully
Securing their truths within a vault

I like to take responsibility of their actions
Pity them and follow them
Become their true friend
All while hating me to the bitter end

They need support more then I
So blame me instead
Don't show me such sorrow filled eyes
I would rather off be dead

I like to play the villain
To lighten their burdens of guilt
I'm a mean selfish witch
No different from a common *****

By taking pleasure out of such things
That are so incredibly vile
maybe I am the one who needs help
every once in awhile

Maybe I am truly evil
Its not an act

#

You told me
Take my hand
Close my eyes and jump
Taking a leap of pure faith
Landing with a gentle thump

You told me
I'll teach you how to fly
Soaring high above the clouds
Far away from this little town
To a place you can stand proud

You told me
I will love you forever
Building a life of just us two
A fabricated lie so sweet
But from the beginning I always knew

You told me
Trust in me
I would never betray you
Oh how I wish those words were true
I held such hope but you never seemed to come through

You told me
I will give you the world
Every single piece of you too
But clearly the world you speak of
Is a creation of pure taboo

You promised me
So very many things
But all I ever wanted
Was to spread my own wings

I wanted to fly
With you by my side
Just as you promised
But its okay that you lied

You gave me hope
Where all seemed dim
You were my light
No matter how grim

And so I told you
Goodbye my friend
Through a roaring storm
Casting away the skies
This is where our tragic love
Dies.

I would like to write a poem
Just to scare you so
Cause you said you were weary
Of the poems that we sow

You're afraid of being immortalized
Within the scriptures that we write
You're afraid of the things we'll say
Scared it will leave a nasty bite

The words that we pour out
Are the retellings of our soul
The life that we have created
Our personal bible that makes us whole

You're slightly disturbed that we write
But also partially flattered
Though you would prefer to be left out
In case we leave you in tatters

You told me as you read through
A poem about yourself
"I have to be weary of what I say"
Relax, dont get too full of yourself

We write from the heart
unleashing monsters of all Kinds
Through we gain a sense of control
Control of the insanity of ones mind

Through poems of endless words
Letters strung together by string
A silver tongue out to express
A mind field of eternal sins

Beautiful phases of our love
Cut out from our still beating hearts
Each poem carefully crafted
As the world begins tearing us apart

Dont fault us for our creations
For this is our escape
eternalized within this site
Filling our voids
Its the Perfect shape

Time heals all
That we know is true
But its also has been found
That it doesn't heal all wounds

Some may be buried deeply
Hidden within our minds
Forced upon smiling faces
While people secretly die inside

Some have been printed
Like a brand upon our skin
Stained and burnt
Stopping us from letting people in

Some are renewed
On a day to day basis
Fresh cuts and bruises
Covering hands and faces

We hurt, We cry
Feeling helpless and gone
But some feel in control
The longer the act goes on

These wounds that litter us
Forced upon or not
They don't define who we are
Its proof that we fought

We fought a battle within ourselves
It was near impossible to defeat
But look at us now
We are still standing tall on our feet

And for most the fight
It'll be forever ongoing
I can't say when it will end
Its scary not knowing

But as long as we push through
Make it to the end of each day
We will eventually find peace
And our lives will no longer be grey

If time heals all
That all we have to do is wait
Because when the time comes
That will surely be our fate

Until then
Fight.

You once asked me

Why won't you tell me who you loved?

I responded gently
As if speaking to a child

When you love somebody
So closely and dear
Its a moment in your heart
Where your mind becomes clear
Painted so vividly within your thoughts
The ones that you love stands bright and tall

The moments we spend together
They were special
Nobody knows about it
The more people who know
The less special it becomes

I smiled to myself
As I dazed off about that time
To which you countered with

How do you know if he felt the same?

Silence filled the air
As I thought for a moment

Quite frankly I dont know
I have no solid proof
It was unspoken between us
It was a breif time of our youth

Then why is it so special?

Because I loved him
No matter if those feelings
Were returned or not

I'm scared to see
What lies beyond these doors
The gate to my future
Whats in store?

I'm scared to let go
Of my high school freedom
Graduation is near
Times passing like the seasons

I'm scared to know
What reality has to offer
I'm not at all prepared
I'm like a lamb to the slaughter

I'm scared to find out
Which of my friends will stay
Who are the real ones
And which ones will fade

I'm scared to hold
All the power of my life
Making such a crucial choice
Cutting through me like a knife

I dont want to be scared
Of what I have now
I want to enjoy life
I'm not exactly sure how

I'll think about my future
And all that is to come
When reality comes knocking
By then I'll be done

Change will happen
Slowly throughout time
I'll take it as it comes
Dont stress in the meantime

I won't be scared.

Dear Older brother
You're never around
My Dear older brother
it's seemed you've dropped your crown

I've grown up knowing you merely by name
I didn't grow up with you
I haven't seen your bad days
Thou I do know somethings to be true

I know of a niece of mine
She a daughter of yours
Her name is Brianna
I still remember after all these years

She's kind and sweet
very loud and obnoxious
though you neglected her
She's always been quite cautious

You're the ghost of the family
The so called black sheep
Disappearing from existence
though nobody seemed to weep

In the past you were quite the rebel
  You grew **** in pots
Shoved them high in the trees
But that was a terrible hiding spot

I heard father tell me
You were part of the wrong crowd
You became a well known drug dealer
Going around this old town

I called you awhile ago
To inform you grandma died
But you didn't know who i was
Don't worry about it I replied

Half the same blood
We hold in our bodies
But clearly nothing alike
We aren't carbon copies

I wish though sometimes within the night
That you could have been a real brother
And a real father to your daughter
Instead of a stranger like any other

But time passes like everything else
There is no point hoping for the impossible
So to my so called dear older brother
I hope you can care for somebody
If thats even possible

Nick