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Aug 2016 · 2.8k
Inspiration
What most call inspiration
To me
Is nothing more than a gruelling process
Of trial and error
And determination
Art is not always spur of the moment, but often involves many attempts at finding one's own voice and style.
Aug 2016 · 4.9k
~Schizophrenia~
The floor rises and falls,* it breathes
The walls churn as they move
Bugs crawl under my skin
As I stumble around the room

A clock ticks in the corner
Though it hasn't run for years
I scratch my face thoroughly
As I d
rown in salty tears

The basement's full of monsters
Voices murmur and scream
My hair comes out in locks
From my forehead rolls off steam

There is no sense of time
Only anxiety, and fright
I want to fall asleep*
But I know I won't tonight
Aug 2016 · 4.3k
Choices Are Sacrifices
Every choice is a sacrifice
An opportunity lost
A road not taken
It leaves you lacking another route
You can seldom go back
And if you do
There is no guarantee that things
Will get better
Because going back is a choice
And so is moving forward
And with each you lose something
A part of who you could have been
To be who you are
And you must always live
With the consequences
Of your decisions
Aug 2016 · 2.7k
I Am Nugatory
My decisions are fallacious
My thoughts are surreptitious
My heartbeat arrhythmic
And my soul tormented

I help none
Speak not
And seek no intimacy

I am contemptible
Hated
Degenerate
Low
Lousy
And
I am nugatory
Aug 2016 · 1.6k
Inoperative
I've worked hard
And smart
And have still gotten nowhere
Aug 2016 · 2.5k
Emerging
The epic tales
All end the same
With the hero
Emerging victorious

But in real life
Most are not heroes
And we often
Emerge beaten
And bloodied
And unable
Or unwilling
To try
Ever again
Aug 2016 · 1.5k
Silver
They say every cloud
Has a silver lining
But in a thunderstorm
The clouds are one
And they cover everything
In a shadow
There's no silver lighting
Visible from the ground
Except for the lightning's flash
That sets fire
To the Earth
And burns down homes
Until we have nothing left
Aug 2016 · 4.2k
Life is Adicted to Gambling
Some people catch a chance
Make it big
Cash it in
And make their dreams come true

But for every hit
There's ten misses
For every love
Twenty hates

Life's a gamble
Either way
And I'm not saying that it's right
That some people find happiness twice
And others never
Find it at all

But God giveth and
He taketh away
Yet we still have faith
Because it's the only way
We'll make it through
Another day
Believing one more chance
Is always on its way
This is somewhat quick in pace within my mind, almost like a rap.

Faith doesn't necessarily mean in God. It can be in yourself, or others, or just faith that the sun will rise again tomorrow. Everyone's got faith, even if they don't know it.
Aug 2016 · 1.1k
Insomniacs
A clock ticks and
The beating of a heart
Just a hair apart
Almost in rhythm

While the wind blows
Across the globe
Quite in the night
Unheard-of in the daylight

And all voices are silent
Except the ones inside
Trying to fall asleep
But too afraid to turn out the lights

There will be no rest tonight
Aug 2016 · 1.6k
Nothing
Someone once said
That only once you've lost everything
Are you free to accomplish anything

Well I've lost everything
And I'm still waiting for my freedom
To find me

If I can accomplish anything
Why can't I go back to the way things were
before I lost it all?
Jul 2016 · 1.0k
Break
Everyone breaks

Some people take breaks
While others break people

Some people break hearts
And others bones

Some people break free
From all that confines them
While others break themselves
In the process of being set free

Everyone breaks eventually
Jul 2016 · 804
Lost
Some people write poems
Because they were lost
And then found
But I have not been found
I write because I am still lost
And that is who I am
And I accept it
Mar 2016 · 3.5k
Imagine Infinity
Infinity is limited
Only by our
Imaginations

Unfortunately
Our imaginations are also
Infinitely limited
Mar 2016 · 1.5k
Unspoken Words
Thanks!
For nothing

I'm sorry!
But not really

How was your day?
I don't want to have a serious conversation

I'd love to!
I don't have a good enough reason to say no

That's good!
I don't care

I'm fine
Don't look at me
Ignore me
Believe me
**Leave me alone
Is it a damaged soul
Or simply a hateful heart
That thinks these words
But dares not speak them?
Mar 2016 · 938
A Losing War
The thing about dealing with abuse is that
It’s always a losing war
Every victory is small
And every loss substantial

Victory comes in small gestures
In sneaking an extra scrap of food
In one extra swallow of water
In managing a rare good night’s sleep

But loss comes with pain
With marks across skin that will never fade
In sleepless nights so numerous
In the loss of weight
Of sleep
Of comfort
Paid for with blood

More than just the obvious
Are losses that you never knew
That you could never miss
Because they were never there

You have no childhood
No friends
No love
And no home

Perhaps worst of all is the loss of yourself
Which was already so undefined
Drawn in soft geometry
Easily whisked away by the wind

Losing comes with madness
And self-loathing
So that all you can think
Is that there must be a reason
So it must be your fault
Because that’s all you’ve ever known
All you’ve been taught
And all you’ve been told
Forcing you to live in ignorance

And so those small victories you so cherish
Are when you remember your name after having forgot
When you have a dream of a memory long lost
Or when you manage to forget it all

For the abused
True victory never comes
Even if you are saved
Victory is only found
In what we so often take for granted
A sound mind
A bed
A good nights’ sleep
Food
Love

We are all victorious
Who have lived free from abuse
And will never have to live
With the scars suffered
By those who have lost so dearly
And I have lost much.
Mar 2016 · 1.1k
Tell Me, Dear Mother
How dark is it, mother?
In our hearts that beat so loudly?
In the womb where you once cared for me?
In the mind where I have dwelled?

How dark is it, mother?
In the deepest depths of icy oceans?
In space without a single star?
Under the dirt beneath our feet?

Let me ask, dear mother
Where has the light gone?
Was it stolen by a distant moon?
Captured by a passing comet?
Or murdered by our own desires?
Hidden so deep inside the darkness
Until it had been consumed?

Where, dear mother
Has happiness gone?
Has laughter gone?
Has love been lost to?

Tell me, dearest mother
The mother I once knew
Did my light
My happiness
My love
Disappear along with you?
When you abandoned my world
For a life in death among the stars?

Dear mother,
Was the darkness inside all along?
Mar 2016 · 940
Think Not
Think not of me in sorrow
Least you'll find yourself devoured
In the pain I've learnt to give
And not share

But think not of me, as well, in pleasure
Or soon you shall discover
That pain also only awaits you there
In the recess of a once happy mind

Certainly know me not in pain
For tenfold is the crack of my whip
As lightning splits the sky
So does my lashing persist

And most of all
Remember this:

Remember me not
Think not of me
Speak of me not
And you shall live more easily
Mar 2016 · 1.1k
Someone I Once Admired
I feel constricted
Like the buds of flowers closed at night
The eyes watching me
And trembling at the sight of me
Because I've been worn by the chains
And not the other way around
My soul's been twisted and churned
And ground into a fine powdered sand

The fear is crippling
It consumes
It devours
It leaves me stripped of all I once was
And of all I wanted to be
Until I feel empty inside
A hollow wisp
Of someone I once admired
Jan 2016 · 1.7k
Façade
Smile often so that they don't know
Drink often so that you won't feel
Smoke often so that you can't think
Lie often so that they don't hear
And
Most importantly
Always remember the truth
*Life *****.... Then you die
This is my truth of life, and because of it I must wear a constant façade to keep myself guarded, and to keep people from prying into my thoughts, life, and mind.
Sep 2015 · 60.3k
The Broken Clock
A clock ticks time by tirelessly
Gears winding like twines of string
With quaint clicking quickly quieting
Until finally time stands still

Broken glass of a smooth clock face
Gears halting in deformity
Glistening shards like the sands of time
Ceasing in their downward flight

A once beating ticking heart of life
Now is lost within a sleepless night
Once a momentum to continued light
Now falls to the ringing silence's might

Time broken into shattered deaths
Until there is simply nothing left
Maybe you've guessed; my nightstand clock broke. It's not like it was an antique that belonged to my great grandmother or anything. Oh wait....
Sep 2015 · 1.5k
Let Blood Repay My Sins
Let the blood pool beneath me
Let it burn me for my sins
All that I could ever be
Destroyed by dispositions

So tear the vengeance from my flesh
And sear me to the bone
Let me rot as I regress
Burning within my home

Peel my skin off of my morrow
Yank nail from fingers until
My pain echoes into tomorrow
And lay my body still

For all the sins that I have done
Excused not by pain endured
So much better for everyone
If I were simply killed
Sep 2015 · 1.1k
In An Instant
An instant is all it takes
To live, ****, or to die
A hard choice is best left to make
In the fluttering blink of an eye

The wind whispers in sudden changes
Silent would it quickly fall
If a new direction was never made then
Silence would be overwhelming all

A single instant can last forever
Lasting effects on our futures
Dust in the wind as we remember
Yet important was our father figures
Underestimate a decision never
Or good nor evil a future for either

A choice you will make this day
And when you do I simply pray
The decision that you make today
Will carve the future a better way
Sep 2015 · 1.2k
True Beauty
Shattered marbles on the floor
Beautifully sparkling like snow
The light so thin beneath the door
A silver crimson line that flows
Wonderful forever more
Broken long, forever ago

Beauty is held in pieces so fine
Wholeness is so un-unique
But the glimmer of a broken line
The shattered skin so slick and sleek

Broken is as beauty seeks
The finest of the gentle meek
Soft rain dew over cheek
Pain is where true beauty leaks
Aug 2015 · 906
LOL
LOL
Life Of Loneliness
Like One Lie
Love Only Lost
Lost Off Land
Looking Over Lines
Longing One Love
Losing Our Love
Last October's Light
Life Old Loathing
Loathing One's Life
Leaving Over Loath
And
Laughs Of Lies

When using words to describe
None have to know what's felt inside
Making words the easiest
Way to lie

Life Only Lets One Live On Lacking Of Love
Aug 2015 · 1.4k
Painful Days
Some days I wear a smile
Fake as I may be
As those days come fewer
And pain persists
The empty feeling moving in
Nesting daily
To notice a person's pain is one thing
To change another
To understand is simply impossible
None know
Our hearts all beat so differently
Our pain unique
But all our days are as equally painful
If born of self hate
Aug 2015 · 1.3k
Show Me Reality
Send me to die
Where bodies pile high
In a massacre without light
With no strength left to fight

And then I will know
Only then can I see
Put on as a show
What the world should be
Aug 2015 · 1.0k
And The Children Do Scream
No one trusts a child
But don't children speak the most truth?
Children aren't liars
Aren't fuled by ambition with ruthlessness

If anyone should be trusted
Why not a child?
They're so simpleminded
And forthcoming in time

No one listens to children
As they beg for help and care
Lost in a world of thieving men
Where life is never fair

At night hear their screams
While we turn away
We're killing their dreams
Tomorrow's problems from today

We promise them the world
And give them the scraps of our troubles
So truth be told
We don't hear simply because
We don't give a **** about them
Tomorrow's problems spawn today, and are delegated to the children we "swore" to protect.
Aug 2015 · 2.0k
Worthless
No one could love me
Because even I hate myself
So I always know there is no 'we'
And that there never could be

I'm lost among the masses
A sea of blurs to by cast away
In a world of ambition and fascists
No one can know what peace is

Am I insane for running?
Can there be no cure?
I know how disturbed I'm becoming
I don't know if anyone's listening
If not then only to myself am I talking
Shuffling feet in directionless walking
No one to give hope for the future
I'm lost and here for the finding

If only there was anything worth being found
Jul 2015 · 1.2k
Better Left Unsaid
"I love you"
"Don't fight this"

"I hate you"
"You're worthless"

"Save me"
"You're everything"

"Leave me"
"I'm nothing"*

What people seem to miss
Is that life would be simplest
If thoughts were kept inside the head
Because everything is better left unsaid
Jul 2015 · 1.3k
The Perfect Crime
The perfect crime
Is rather easy to commit
Each person's limit is one time
There are no victims in this
Because the victim and perpetrator
Can never be the same person
Everything is a controlled factor
And there's nothing to hold you on
No loose ends left untied
You can leave evidence all you want
Your actions go unjustified
Can't send you to jail for such a stunt
And though it is illegal
You won't have to run and hide
The perfect crime for all
Is simply suicide
Jul 2015 · 927
Story of the Anonymous
In my eerie little life
The buildings coated with graffiti
I saw the art in a new light
Because of someone interesting

A girl not much older than myself
Was arrested for an illegal mural
A painting of books upon a shelf
She signed to be seen by all

It wasn't hard for the police
To find the perpetrator
Her name in cursive for all to see
The name of this young decorator

I found her three days later
Painting again upon a fence
I asked why would she put her
Name for police then to trace?

She smiled broadly at me
And answered rather honestly
Because she simply refuses to be
"Living life anonymously."
Jul 2015 · 1.7k
Trust
Thinking that someone's good
Righteous in any of their lies
Understanding your daily mood
Somehow forming such strong ties
Till the day you find they're not worth it
Jul 2015 · 875
Sound
We question if
A tree falling in the forest
Makes a sound

But tis better to wonder
Why people among us
Have yet to be found

Even in the city
People every day
Deserve our fullest pity
As they die away

Even among us
Voices drown out
People who scream
But as if there's no sound
Jul 2015 · 1.0k
Shout
Shout onto the wind
Yet none will hear
A tangled mind
Full of fear
Scream to your consent
Till throat is raw and red
But what will it have meant
If to nothing it has led
Jul 2015 · 573
Depression
I'll be the first to admit
Depression isn't just an illness
It's an action to commit
It's a life choice for the loveless
And we choose it
Because we need it
We don't know how
To live without
Our transgression
Of depression
Jul 2015 · 1.9k
Wings
Soaring high for escape
Best to fly to flee this place
Let wings carry towards fate
Better than living among the fake

If wings are what you would choose
Are you like me?
Wanting to flee?
What would wings do for you?
Jul 2015 · 728
Free
Set me free
Among the stars
And I guarantee
That I'll go far
Driven by the need
To get away
Set me free
For just one day
Gravity.... Doesn't it ****?
Jul 2015 · 1.0k
Again
You wake up
Every day

Food past lips
Nothing to say

Heart does flips
Love in play

Your breakup
Leaves life gray

You still wake up
Every day

Just to do it again
In a different way
Jul 2015 · 665
Four Letter Words
Pain
Holds the virtue
Of strength

Loss
Holds the key
To satisfaction

Love
Is an ignorant form
Of bliss

Death
Is the path
To peace

Life
Is the road
To accomplishment

Hate
Is the cause
Of evil
Jul 2015 · 2.2k
Happy
I want to know
What it's like
To live a happy life
With no bruises to show

Where every face
Holds a smile
Without the façade
Of a happy soul

Take me away
To a happy place
Where every day
I can find peace
Jul 2015 · 739
The Bomb
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~Please~~~~~~~~~~~Listen~~~
~Don't look~~~~~~~~Or regret it~
~~Only watch~~~~~In distance~~
~~~~~The bomb~~Kills all~~~~~
~~~~~It destroys everything~~~~~
~~~Leaves devastation in wake~~~
~~If ever you hear the sirens sing~~
~Save yourself from a terrible fate~
~Run for the hills and don't forget~
~Loved ones who did not survive~
~Pray you can manage to make it~
~~From the disaster zone alive~~
~~Think once for old friends~~
~~~~Twice for your family~~~~
~~~~~It won't be the end~~~~~
~~~~~~breathe heavily~~~~~~
~~~~~~~Wait for day~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~To come~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~Again~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you didn't notice, It's shaped like a nuclear bomb, albeit with crude lines. I'm just trying something new. Probably stupid though....
Jul 2015 · 1.4k
Intentions
Sometimes good intentions
Bring the worst of outcomes
We must take the incentives
Of dispelling ignorances
To prevent ourselves
From failures
Jul 2015 · 803
Live
Sometimes less
Is simply more
When you're fighting
A loosing War

Maybe then
The casualties
Don't have to be
So heavy
Jul 2015 · 648
I Ran
My whole life I've been running
Running away from everything

I run through families
Like passing through doors
No one ever looking out for me
Keeping my heart beating is a chore

But the one time I might have stayed
And maybe I shouldn't have run
I simply wasn't willing to pay
If the love would never come

To this day I don't know
If I shouldn't have said goodbye
If just maybe somehow
"I love you" wasn't a lie

But I can't dwell on the matter
Or else I'll have to try and fight
It could have ended in disaster
How can I know if I was right?

I know that I ran away
And my mind goes back to that day
And the only thing I have to say
Is I'm sorry if it's not okay

I hope you can learn to love again some day
If I took all your love when I ran away

Sometimes we deny others' love because
We don't know if it's true
But we never stop to consider how
It could hurt the other person too
Jul 2015 · 654
The Last
You'll never be my parent
You'll never even be my friend
All I can do is question
As I beg for it to end

Your fists continue flying
And another part of me is dying
You're not the first one
To leave my begging, pleading, crying

You think you are the first?
You think you'll be the last?
To leave me with this body's hurts?
To stab me in the back?

I've seen a dozen like you
And I'll see a dozen more
When this system's done you'll see
I'll still be laying on the floor

I know how to cover bruises
How to hide the nasty scars
As everyone simply refuses
To take my case so **** far

Well maybe you haven't noticed yet
How angry I can get
Because one day my seething anger
Will be your big regret

So beat me to the ground
Where the light is never found
And I promise one day you will see
The most vicious part inside of me

****** your fists in my shameful disgrace
Leave the blood splattered on my face
And I'll continue waiting
Begging, screaming, crying
Till one of these days I'm seeing
The last part of me is dying
Jul 2015 · 2.5k
Empty Shipwreck
It's coming it's returning
The empty feeling that I get
I'm tossing and I'm turning
I'm feeling like a shipwreck

Empty and abandoned
An empty hollow shell of want
I've crash landed
A shell of what I was once

Please give me my pain
I need the truest agony
Just don't let it wash in rain
To let my own emotions flee

Dully I watch
As I go by many places
My emotions stop
In an empty sea of faces

Tell me how
How to feel empty
Tell me now
How do I again see

Everything's so empty and pointless
Life doesn't even seem worth it
Ships, abandoned for centuries and empty. They feel nothing, just like me.
Jul 2015 · 647
Listen
Watch out so carefully and so closely listen
See how the blood pours see how it glistens
I may look perfect I may appear smart
Never can you see the pain held in my heart

Listen Listen
Watch how it glistens
Never let hope in
You'll find it missin'

Every step I take I fall down more
Leaves my skin looking so fully torn

Take It Take It
I just can't take it
Maybe if I'm careful I can manage to fake it

Hide the pain behind every smile
Never let them know how you can feel

Watch as I draw out the knife from the kitchen
Pay close attention see if anyone can listen
Allow it to flow and let it's beauty glisten
Wonder if they'll ever know that I am missin'

Never know how much I am hurtin'
Can you still think that I am perfect?
Set to the beat of Dollhouse.
Jun 2015 · 898
How Lonely
How lonely the moon and stars do look tonight
In an ebony black sky they are all that's in sight
Shining so brightly and in the sky so very alone
Empty, frozen space is their soley known  home
White light is the loneliest warmth that is found
Giving knowledge of nothing else being around
So distant from anything they can say they love
Only able to watch over us oh so very far above
They will never have the nearness they so yearn
Observing so painfully with silence, they mourn
I see a clear sky with stars and a full moon, the man upon it separated from all he knows.
Jun 2015 · 622
Loneliness
The sooner we accept how alone we are
The better off we'll all be
As so many people look out so far
Across the land and the sea
To try and find someone they can love
It's such a sad waste of time
For love and the lack thereof
Even if we find this superficial feeling
It won't cure the loss inside
I pity those who are still believing
No one in whom to truly confide
We're all alone and we always will be
Lost and never able to be free
Jun 2015 · 1.0k
Lost In-Between
How empty the spaces between the stars
The darkness between them all ours
Because no one wants empty space
Like the gapping holes in fine twine lace
More darkness in the universe than light
And you can only see it at twilight

The empty feeling
Deep inside
And from what I'm seeing
Spread so wide

The cosmos lost
To the darkness
The deep high cost
Of trying to harness
The power of light
That was lost in the fight

Once the universe was all white
But now is a dark sight
As light moves away from another
And leaves far spaces between
And those far spaces smothered
In darkness at the seams

Everything is darker
Never lighter
The galaxies shine bright
In infinite numbers
Yet their gentle light
Next to the darkness brings slumber

Light can never beat out
The empty space so throughout
Mathematically, there is more empty darkness in the universe than full light. World views mean nothing next to universal views.
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