"regretful" poems
a body filled with familiar dread
you might say my body is already dead
my head is said to be quite fretful
took moments of quietude for granted;
and now i’m constantly regretful
the restlessness of my emotions
address my state of mind
and the distressed thoughts run around my head like guerrilas
they know they are running out of time
my jittery heart runs rampant
like a broken clock
and my only wish is for all of this to stop
the apprehension creates a detonation
a complete eradication of my elation
because my body is filled with familiar dread
and my body feels like it’s already dead
Jun 15, 2018
Jun 15, 2018 at 9:04 PM UTC
the angel amongst us
~for Alexander, master splasher~
*flexibility is important when poetry writing in a warm tub and a long day ahead is scheduled; so willingly accept the autocorrect
for I am both an experienced poet and bath soaker and
believer in wondrous mystery and unexpected fumbles
that lead to to miracle touchdowns
~•~
the two mathematicians examine the angle, measure the degree of difference at intersection and bless it with an identity,
calling it by its name,
perhaps obtuse, perhaps right, perhaps both
two sets of eyes examine the angle,
study its ****** expression
the old man says:
see the angle on the clock formed by the big handle on the twelve and the little hand on the eight?
this is angle of eight o’clock:
time to stop the splashing and start the get-readying
for we have miles to go before the ocean can say hello!
little angel says angle no go
and slashes the water with both
hands to establish the firmness of his views
and change Einstein’s time from present to future
the angle depends on the perspective of the viewer
the old poet comprehends leaving a warm tub is a regretful thing
but he measures the degree of difference at this
intersection
of time and bath and blesses it with an identity
“time to go”
the angle of my angel is now 2 pointed arms, pointed straight up,
at the twelve o'clock,
as he stands up in fevered protest,
my arms sweep his little legs to
a point at eight o’clock,
angel, commenting on his swift flight
disputes the grandfathers physics
"no go now,
now go later^"
though the angle is unchanged
the perspective of time and space
(and traffic),
yet differs
one sees an angle,
the angel sees time
eternally folding in on itself*
that is the angle amongst us
Aug 29, 2018
Aug 29, 2018 at 8:58 AM UTC
Always walking that line
Always tempting fate
All these temptations calling me
I attempt to numb pain
Got the temperature rising
Know I can be temperamental
My temper’s ‘bout to unleash
Doing something regretful
A temporary escape
From two to ten on the dial
The temper-tantrum and screams
Like a tempestuous child
Perhaps a temporal shift
Like Anty Em’ on the farm
The tempest carries away
Ship wrecked alone I am gone
My template shows me the way
Temptress I can not escape
Contemptuously I have temperance
Finding tempo ‘til break
A temple shrine I pay tribute
Silently contemplate
Lord please grant me forgiveness
For my wrongs and mistakes
Jan 15, 2018
Jan 15, 2018 at 7:12 PM UTC
Secrets create,
Enemies and friends.
Can start new trends.
Reveal new tech.
Endanger peace.
Turn blue to red.
Secret whispers.
Secrets welcome.
Extra income.
Conditional love.
Regretful outcomes.
Emotional sin.
The hidden grin.
Secret whispers.
Secret sounds.
Entrapped inside.
Craves to be found.
Results in lies.
Eats till it dies,
Till realized.
Secret whispers, do not hide.
Nov 30, 2017
Nov 30, 2017 at 12:59 PM UTC
I contemplate
I buy it on aromatic instinct
The fight emerges
Don't eat it!
You're not even hungry!
I sit in my head
While the words debate
The palate ultimately wins
My hands follow orders
The sweet melting chew
Savory icing
Made for my mouth
I close my eyes
Taste buds dance
Pure enjoyment
A moment has escaped me
In my candy land
Until it's gone
A guilty pleasure
Plagued stomach
Churning to
Disappointed intestines
An alien
They don't quite understand
As it has no nutrients or vitamins to absorb
Sending the lipids and sugars
Away to live as fat
Surrounding areas I dislike most
I look in the mirror
And I imagine where that regretful donut went.
© Jl 2016
Feb 19, 2016
Feb 19, 2016 at 6:16 AM UTC
Focus drawn from the wrong conclusions
Leads you away from life's institutions
Emotions and feelings gets lost in fusions
Of desperation and regretful grief retributions
Jul 19, 2014
Jul 19, 2014 at 9:42 AM UTC
Jackal in his church pants,
Bad kid with punk jams,
Cramming nonsense in his conscience,
Skateboarding prophets,
Dividing light into chambers,
Bag of **** for his neighbors,
Turned into a living demon bleeding thru the paper,
Applesauce in the inside,
A coconut shell for the front,
Pineapple knives for the slaughtering,
Right into a strawberry's gut,
He was not a normal scorned, occulting youth,
But the lore of a regretful teen plaguing the afternoons,
Till that strawberry gut cracked his coconut noggin,
And shall he rest in bygones and Hanna-Babara monsters,
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015 at 8:41 PM UTC
A cloud of smoke,
leaves through my parted lips.
I close my eyes with the urge,
to caress your body,
with my fingertips.
Another sharp bitter puff,
taken in by my lungs.
I'm just like "Baby,
come here, we are young."
A sharp bitter liquid,
is poured down in my throat.
In remembrance of the ring you bought me,
but now its gone.
I say "No, no! Don't leave me!"
You glance back,
regretful.
In a blink of an eye,
you leave me.
Suddenly,
someone is shaking me by my shoulders.
Sweat is trickling down my forehead.
"Baby, don't scream,
it was just a dream,
our little princess is sleeping next door,
you're going to wake her up."
And then you wrap your arms around me,
you hold me tight,
throughout the night.
We're sleeping fine,
with tranquilled minds.
Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013 at 1:46 PM UTC
yes,
you can kiss
my rose petal eyelids
my stained cheeks
my humming neck
my willing waist
my burning skin
anywhere on
my restless body
but kiss my lips,
and I'll spend the
rest of my life
aching
grieving
searching for
your stinging tongue
fate assured me
we'd burn violently
but ultimately suns die
every flame grows tired
every bulb will break
every wick will drown
charred and regretful
weary and worn out
drained of energy
choking for air
i'm not ready
to ignite
just yet
Dec 31, 2017
Dec 31, 2017 at 8:02 AM UTC
living can be tiring and decisions regretful, so often we find ourselves
marching to the beat of obligations’ drummer – unnecessary paths are safely untreaded
doing only because the doing is necessary – to keep life at its homeostasis
fixing but not tinkering – the return to normality is the goal
just accepting these ************ days for their lukewarm livability
Jul 12, 2010
Jul 12, 2010 at 11:22 PM UTC
I see apes walking on ice,
I see snakes slithering on snow,
lively eyes indulge my dream,
and it haunts me.
worry, worry, worry.
marked drips on a stained walkway
catch my stare so often
I forgot I was looking
by two levels, I drop.
the ground awaits me.
today, I am sure-footed;
I will not buckle.
an enigma passes:
I wrest free my heart,
but too late!
all that is left...
a cold afternoon,
a quiet memory,
a regretful encounter.
and countless others
who, in unfortunate confidence
might turn away in disdain...
they won't know a flower's scent.
if I were one of them,
I would stand up and say,
"Advance, Collingchance!
Attach your legions to mine,
and together we will conquer!"
or I would approach you like a highwayman
and make demands of you....
but since I am not,
my only demand
is that you accept me
for what I am.
Dec 24, 2017
Dec 24, 2017 at 11:52 AM UTC
God blesses your hands, takes them both
and lifts you so you can stand.
This is your homecoming,
a long time in coming,
72 years, eleven months, and one week
you’ve been running this race, so I think
we can afford a little grace when you sprint
the last mile, so strong and sweet
into your Father’s open arms.
And you know those angles leading you away
ain’t got nothing on you, not even reasons for you
to stay. And they’ll be trying hard, cause they know
they haven’t got a thing compared to your heart.
This is your homecoming,
a final graduation, a certification you’ve done
right by life. And we’ll still be here singing
sacred Somns from the earth you once called
your own, waiting to see you smile in the wind
even though your gone. And we are so happy
for you, but we’re still human, and selfish,
so we’re a little sad and regretful too.
But we won’t ever stop missing you,
cause this is your homecoming,
and the Lord says it’s time to
go along. And when you see us again
you’ll be so proud, cause we’re going to
keep on, and we’re going be strong,
and we’re going give this life every last bit of fight
we’ve got just like you did. So we’ll let you go,
for a little while, for your homecoming.
Cause someday we’ll be coming home too.
Jan 1, 2012
Jan 1, 2012 at 4:28 PM UTC
It comes down to this single moment
Sitting here lazily on my bed
Unable to decide, whether or not
To feel sadness or depression
Perhaps what I should be feeling is relief
What I'd rather be feeling is empowerment
To remain hopeful, despite the odds
But I can't decide
How can I be sure of how my story ends
Am I to live out one of the most historical love stories of all time
Which character was I meant to be
A common man, bound for common love
I'd rather be the uncommon man
Who fights for something greater than just common love
How can I be sure though
Would I fight for victory or tragedy
Would I be a good common man
With a simple and meaningful life
Or would the taste of battle never leave my tongue
Making me regretful, of what could have been
Common men are necessary
They're the majority
They keep the uncommon man alive
Telling their children about great
Battles of courage
Battles of victory
And those of failure
Am I to tell my children of these stories
Am "I" meant to raise the uncommon men
Or did my mother raise me to be more than just the common man
"I am meant for greatness"
"I am uncommon"
"I am hopeful, despite the odds"
"My story will be worth telling"
"I fight for Love"
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014 at 9:22 PM UTC
She mentioned in passing,
That if anything was to happen,
They asked if I could be yours.
To shout at to tidy my room,
Clean the dishes,
Or tell me to **** off when my heart was broken.
You think your greatest gestures were the presents, tickets, trips, autographs,
The army of "Please look after this bear" Paddingtons,
But you're wrong.
It was the two sentence emails,
Telling me cocktails could take the edge off chemo.
It was teaching me how to swear.
It was the cough and mumbled 'Luvyuutu" over the phone, reluctant but not regretful.
That call she made probably ended,
With a pause, a gulp, a tremor in your voice.
It would be you who'd shorten such an important answer.
A "Yep".
A clack of the phone on the desk.
And a "Luvyuutu, Ferg." after you hung up.
Jun 24, 2011
Jun 24, 2011 at 1:22 PM UTC
If any duck in any brook,
Fluttering the water
For your crumb,
Seemed the helpless daughter
Of a mother
Regretful that she bore her;
Or of another,
Barren, and longing for her;
What of the dove,
Or thrush, or any singing mysteries?
What of the trees
And intonations of the trees?
What of the night
That lights and dims the stars?
Do you know, Hans Christian,
Now that you see the night?
4.3k
Deep, Deep inside myself
something asking for help
Not from her or him
But from the one
who created this universe from none
Oh Allah!
my heart is regretful for what I've done
I've spent my life looking for fun,
forgetting that in just a blink of an eye,
I'll be gone
Allah !
you are the most forgiven
Please, forgive your sleeves
for what they've lost of their time
we all need to wake up
eager to make up
make up the time we've lost
by whatever it costs
Allah, through my pray,
show me the right way
Guide me all the day
to not feel that passion to stay
to stay in the life that is nothing,
however a way
a way to what you've promised us
once we commit ourselves to what you say
I surely know if someone goes to paradise
not by their deeds
but by your kindness, sympathy and nice
Otherwise, the hell will burn them, moreover engorge them as a starved person devours rice !
Once I fall in a mistake,
only your mercy toward your sleeves keeps me calm
and I feel you around,
shedding light on a way,
I can fix what I've done
I will be the happiest one
if you forgive me before I'm gone
and as a saying goes:
"as long there is life , there is hope"
So, please keep us gripping that rope !
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014 at 7:32 PM UTC
I’m afraid I’ll lose him completely,
Even though I already have.
Another day passes,
Another memory of us disappears.
Leaving an empty hole in me, longing to be filled.
We both made mistakes, but I still was never good enough for his god-like complex.
As I fell for him like no other, we became two negative magnets repulsing.
I fought so hard to have my chance with him but when I looked over,
He hadn’t even lifted a finger to fight for me and had moved on.
He gave up so fast that it feels like his spectacularly imbecilic mind was made up the moment I met him.
And that I was just another girl he thought he had figured out and was an easy ****
But I wasn’t.
I stood my ground and didn’t give up my body to him and because of that he threw away any ounce of feelings for me and left.
One minute my small bony hand was wrapped in his,
Then within a blink of his deep brown eyes,
My hand slipped out of his and we shared our last kiss goodbye.
He looked me in the eyes after getting lost in them for a moment and said in a soft, regretful voice;
I don’t want to leave you.
That’s when I knew he had chosen her.
That’s when I knew I lost him.
And that no matter how much love we had for each other and how committed we were,
Even a friendship would be impossible because hearing him talk about her,
Or seeing him so happy with someone other than me,
Would hurt too much.
And I’d never be able to recover.
Jul 29, 2014
Jul 29, 2014 at 8:22 PM UTC
I'm supposed to live with
No Regrets
And I want to
Really badly.
But I've already got regrets
I regret not telling you I loved you
And telling him I did
I regret leaving
And then coming back
How am I supposed to die now when
My tombstone will have the words
"Too many regrets"
Oct 11, 2012
Oct 11, 2012 at 11:43 PM UTC
Hello again,
I think the proper way of starting this is with an apology
But it's already too late
For you are finally gone from my life
And from now on I'm gonna be honest with these emotions
I guess the saying "You never know how much something
means to you until they're gone" has struck me
And all I have left is to write before I break down
You were a sweet person, You were the one who always managed to make me laugh, even on those days where I felt like most of the world was against me, You stayed with me, talking to me until the sun comes up in the morning, sharing every little detail on those emotions your fragile heart has bottled up, but I broke that.
I've always regretted these memories, all the good times we had, all those those times we spent with each other, I always felt regretful for wasting those precious moments I spent with you, because all those happiness turns into a weapon that both engraved a deep scar in both of our hearts.
I tried to keep you within my reach for when the time comes until I can learn how to love properly, but how did that turn out, I found someone else who I feel like I'm incapable of loving properly as I still suffer from the damage I caused for the both of our hearts.
In the end I'm suffering, suffering from wishing I could hear your voice again, suffering from remembering all those moments I spent awake being with you, suffering because I ended up breaking both of our hearts due to my ineptitude of feeling love.
You were the one of the only ones who helped me, who stayed with me, who tried to help me find an escape in the darkness that lurked withing my mind.
I hope for the best that being away from me has helped you, cause even I wouldn't want to be with me too.
Sincerely,
The boy who couldn't love
Aug 23, 2018
Aug 23, 2018 at 6:39 AM UTC
do not let yourself fall in love with someone who is similar to me. for someone like myself will kiss you at all of the most beautiful places in the world, just like art galleries, beaches, and sanctuaries, because then you will never be able to visit such places again without having the taste of blood lingering in your lips.
do not let yourself fall in love with someone who is similar to me. if it takes remembering your name among the lonesome souls, i would forget my own if it means remembering yours. i will make you believe that storms are peaceful and that suffering is a pleasure. you will be swept away by the yearning in craving over something that is consistently reaching but never ready to hold you.
do not let yourself fall in love with someone who is similar to me. with someone who are reminiscent like me, i will wreck your home and hurl apologies at you, which will break apart on the floor and hurt you when you walk on them. i will come to fret about having loved you so passionately. i will always be regretful that i gave it my all without stopping to consider that i was becoming increasingly hurting so bad and exhausted. i will always be sorry that i let myself be fooled by the illusion of your love.
do not let yourself fall in love with someone that obviously acts like me—loves like me for the reason that they are all ghosts from the pieces you broke in me. keeping your safe distance from someone like me is not something you should consider doing. people like me are time bombs; when my mission is complete, i will spatter sorrow all over your walls in violent hues that would let you regret your door had never known my name. i'll never master the art of being gentle. despite the weight of our shared history, i would not be flushed away by the chapter of our repressed memories. you will never be free of the shadows you left behind. and the ghosts will forever haunt you.
humans will always find a way to end things and leave.
we always do.
and when i am gone, you will fully understand
the reason why storms are named after humans.
Jun 30, 2022
Jun 30, 2022 at 1:28 PM UTC
Bewildered, I walk this barren place
A place my soul can't feel
Too much damage to ever turn back
A place my soul can't heal
Forgotten dreams adorn my path
With seas of liquid pain
Broken promises, my only friend
The scars are all that remain
Mistakes I've made are my shadow
They follow where ever I go
A regretful heart refusing to beat
But shouting I told you so
Memories becoming a stain in my mind
Illusions now taking their place
Reprobate, not knowing right from wrong
Hope, overcome by disgrace
Unfaithful souls walk in this place
A place where it's ever too late
Turn away from the one that you love
And this will be your fate
Oct 9, 2010
Oct 9, 2010 at 12:17 AM UTC
Meeting you must've been destiny,
Your bright smile lighting up my world.
The moment you entered my life,
It became so much more worthwhile.
We spent many summer days together,
Long nights talking about the world.
Winters spent wrapped up in blankets,
Enjoying each others company.
I wish I could go back with what I knew now,
Prevented many regretful mistakes.
I wish I let you know what I was thinking,
That I could have told you the truth.
I was in love with you,
You were the world to me.
But you had to leave me behind,
So I will keep my thoughts in mind.
Until we meet again.
Dec 10, 2016
Dec 10, 2016 at 3:00 AM UTC
They say endings are scary
Again, what do they know?
Maybe they’re just guessing
Perhaps, going with the flow
Endings could be peaceful
Of endings I’m not scared
They are regretful that’s all
But my whole life I’ve dared
Endings could be happy
Of endings I’m not scared
They are just very guilty
Of things they hadn’t shared
Endings could be calming
Of endings I’m not scared
They’re just anxious because
They’ll witness all that they feared
Endings could be nice
It’s probably not, I lied
I’m not just scared of endings
Truth is, I’m terrified.
Apr 29, 2020
Apr 29, 2020 at 7:48 PM UTC
touch my face and feel my gut
it's knotted up, punctured and twisted
with knives of lovers lost
look at me with shame and forget me
no longer call me by my name, brother
i'm barren from the child i chose not to let be
yet still swollen from the emptiness
stepping on nails, sharp as i pace back and forth
tattered soles and tattered souls
can't overcome the obstacle without proper shoes
end my suffering with a needle or two
let ooze the regretful sorrow that feeds on my sanity
drain the abscess that is my conscience
my conscious mind
it throbs beneath my skin
and whispers secrets from hell, ear to ear
on sunny days
tiny voices and threatening reminders
of crimes not yet repented
committed in fear of solitude
ways to escape unknown, unwanted
negligent to what could be
because the what is distracts me
traps me
i must first love myself
to be loved by you
everyday is a chance to recreate
we know that
our limbs grow longer ingesting opportunity
but hear me when i shout to you from the asphalt
the world unwillingly grows smaller and smaller
and chances are slimmer, slander
ensures
luck be eradicated
because pieces of us
have been
amputated
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018 at 12:22 AM UTC