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Dawnstar Sep 26
branching out into the universe
a solitary butterfly learns that
pestering God won't turn him
back into a caterpillar.
sometimes our wills can only go so far
oh lord
i promise to be good
and true to my word
i promise to look people in the eye
and treat them with the respect they deserve
i promise to try harder
be stronger
and less fragile
grant me this plea
this prayer in the stillness of my heart
just give me one more day to live
one last chance to see the sun set
one final chance to make amends
and say all that twists itself tight in my throat
i beg you to spare me
i thought i wanted death
i wanted it so badly my lips were bitter with tears
it seemed better than facing the world
it seemed easier than facing myself
and the ones i claim to love (yet hurt so badly)
wouldn't everyone be happier
if i just disappeared
into the night
onto the welcoming cement so far below
it beckoned me
and
i
  threw
   myself
    into
     its
      arms
it is only when i struggle to draw breathe
that it hits
and ravages whats left of me
i realize i wanted to grow old
and watch my children prosper
i wanted to stare out at the world one day
and smile at what i saw
i wanted to live for all that i was to gain
and lose
so what if it hurt
so what if i was broken
so what if it was hard
it was still a gift
one that i had wasted so thoughtlessly
lord
if you are there
do not judge me when i come before you
i wanted wanted reprieve and looked for it in all the wrong places
and it was my demise
Esther L. Krenzin
A wandering souls lament
Dawnstar Aug 2
I vow to you an oath
from now until my death
to starfall and the rise
of the blood moon in the skies:
I'll love you, I'll love you
till the west wind creeping strong
comes along, comes along
to beat the mountains down!

Till the sun, far above
and the heav'ns and earth collide
making every green thing die
there I'll lie, there I'll kneel
over eons, overzealed.
Till the river changes hue
and escapes the ocean's blue
I'll love you, I'll love you….
August 1
Dawnstar Jul 21
My brain is a bowl of hot steaming stew
Never decided on what it shall do:
Boil this moment, pop in the next
Outline an opus or spew scattered wrecks
Catch on a small thought, stubborn as steel
Caring not for what its owner might feel
Ruin a party, clothesline a dream
Embrace a stranger, mend a torn seam
Lead me to valleys ahead of the wind
With constant recalling of how I have sinned
Dawnstar Jul 21
bluebird, blackbird
sailor, sun
multi-star, hegemon
chariot, gun
tree-perched wings
sea breeze cloud
laughing, crying
dying out loud
Dawnstar May 23
even if nothing arises
from the smog of a
million desperate minds'
hopes and beliefs

even if the world is
cold and without soul
and reality is
just what we see

enjoy those thoughts
those beautiful thoughts
if just for their sake
at the least
Dawnstar May 23
south of a skyward stretch of mounts
lies England, green and white land
her towers felled by ducklings

her geese have joined the wild
the frayed cacophany
of a godless post-empire

now we stare at coffee pots
and think ourselves profound
while Ur's voice grinds a whisper

despairing through weary pixels
each stitch of the telegraph cable
buried in fallen time

and down through the maps
terrifying mutations ravage earth
hurling us far from apotheosis

till the last sod of root
dangles from a broken tree
our rage grows with it, each day
exposed
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