Here I am, again
I know this place well
Because I never get to leave for long

I'm here alone just like every time before

We caught each other in a weak spot
I thought you'd fallen in my lap
Like a gift
Like a blessing

But I forgot about the curse

Meant to walk alone
Dream alone
Be alone
All on my own

Here I am again
But I'm not empty
I'm full of regret, the regret you get when you throw your heart around
I help break my own heart
they never do it alone

The help never ceases to amaze

If you need me, you'll know where to look
The lost
The broken
The unavailable
They find me

I won’t keep lying to myself just to lie to everyone else
I always had doubts but my actions are all I had to lay out to see the truth

It was all right there just like times before I’m never the last to know I just don’t know myself that well

I’ve never been in front of the mirror when you come over to greet me so I never saw how bright my smile got
I didn’t know that when I got you naked it was only to get you as close to me as possible
I didn’t know when I txt you with nothing to say it was just to put me in your mind that day
turns out I don’t know ****
All I got from this was a memorization of the shape of your jaw
traced it with my finger just yesterday
the corners of your mouth
there’s no straight lines in this crocked romance
I trace the lines of you in my head
I pretend my hands are yours
You’re everywhere and no where
California is our home but you've been south for the winter since I realized the truth about the hold you’ve got on my heart that started with a hand full of blouse
Take me some where else so we can be alone
Take me before I lie to myself again
State lines don’t split us apart but your decisions do
California is our home..

Certain I’ve never thought this thought before
almost shocked myself till I realized it ‘s a good thing
I hope I’ve missed my chance with you because I’m tired of being in this alone
You never say the right thing
You never think of me unless you’re lonely

I hope I missed my chance so I can’t come back and share more of myself
I always try to fill your ears with all the words you want to hear
And all you do is fill your hands with me
It’s never been enough
so why do I hold on to you?

I hope I missed my chance
Get lonely somewhere else because I’m trying to forget you
my favorite rain cloud never even around long enough to get me wet
It’s never been enough
So why do I hold on to you?

Fill my heart not just your hands

I remember back then when you’d pull me close hip to hip

Your body was mine but your heart was somewhere else

When I thought Love was pouring all over me

But when I’d wake up you’d be ready to go

I’d slid over to take the warm spot you left behind

You’ve had too much practice with us girls

I try and tell my friends it could have been any of you

But am I the only one who fell for it?

I hear you’re all the same but I’ve never met a boy like you

Feeling sorry for my foolishness when I miss you

The worst part is I still wonder how I could have kept you

You’ve had too much practice with us girls

I try not to bring you up so no one knows you’ve still got me

But some things you just can not hide

Will you ever play for keeps?

I take all the time you have to give

I never know when it could be the last time

You told me that some people want to be used

that must be something a guilty conscience tells itself

I wish I could have said something to you just then but I lost my courage and sank back in to my mind to find something you’d like to hear

I think we both know that I have a soft spot for you

We also know that you’ll never give me anything but your spare time

With both these pieces of knowledge between us why do I still bother?

Even when my friends all deemed you strange and awkward

I never let there words change the ones I’d say to you

I’m writing about you now but I hope it won’t be for always

You ask me what’s on my mind when we hit a patch of silence

well if you read this I could answer that question for you...

but I wouldn’t imagine telling you the truth

maybe you were talking about me

Because time after time here I am

If you and I have no business here then..

Tell me something so **** that it’s just across the way from sweet
You’re a self proclaimed *******
But your eyes always apologize for what your mouth has to spout
Maybe it’s the way you look for me
Maybe it’s the way you open up when I’m the only one listening

If you and I have no where to go but down then..

Tell me something so honest that it’s just down the street from endearing
You’re a self proclaimed *******
But when I ask you where you’ve been you reply waiting for you
Maybe it’s the way you make me feel good enough to cheer you up
Maybe it’s the way you correct me with a smile almost every time

If you and I have no future then I’ll give you every part of the present

I can’t wait to meet my next heartbreak

He’ll have everything I never knew I wanted

I can’t wait to see the face that will turn me back into a fool

I can’t wait to see how many smiles I’ll waste on him

I can’t wait to see what outfits I’ll buy just for him

He’ll have everything I never knew I wanted

I can’t wait to hug him like I’ll never let him go

I can’t wait to hang on his every word like they were a life raft

I can’t wait to see the eyes that take me over

He’ll have everything I never knew I wanted

I can’t wait to meet my next heartbreak