"couldve" poems
You are the only person I think I will never tell how I feel or at least how I previously felt because it'll never be my place or the right time so-
I will always wonder if there was a missed communication or something I couldve said differently or done differently or anything I could've changed
I will always wonder if you knew or if you would have changed something if you did maybe you wouldn't have been so vague or maybe you wouldn't have made me laugh so hard or asked about my weekend or always started the conversation first because I was too proud to
I will always wonder if you noticed my hands and voice shaking the first time you ever talked to me
I will always wonder if you ever think back on what we used to talk about because I'm sure you never realized but I told you my tiny secrets and all I can do is hope that you knew.
I will always wonder about you.
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017 at 2:12 AM UTC
by Arcassin Burnham
why are all of you putting more weight on my shoulders,
waiting for the years of long pain and suffering to be over,
you all put me in a very messy mind state,
where i cant maintain,
suicide was the answer,
but it was never questioned,
out of all the ****** up things in my life,
all the exs and broken friendships,
i now realize that i cant be what they want me to be,
i can only be me,
get rid of some of this stress,
cant loosen up,
cant shake this phobia,
when all i do is shake,
like bruce banner looking for the cure to stop the hulk,
how can life go on from all my mistakes,
with bad people,
that i couldve impressed,
but failed miserably,
to know ive always hated myself,
father figures burned out of the picture,
if he could have been here my life wouldnt be like this,
deserving to die,
deserving not to live,
deserving not to care,
to live in anxiety,
probably for the rest of my life,
i hate myself.
May 18, 2014
May 18, 2014 at 11:11 PM UTC
"Poisonous" -kaitlyn warnken
I live in a grey and white world were i dont always get to see the sun, so I was in The flower garden.
In the garden, I noticed a flower from the distance that was full of color that I couldve never see before. A color your reality would call pink.
Oh how it was a poisonis flower, but to me this flower was beautiful.
I wanted to take it home all for myself. It showed me things i could never see before. I wanted to watch this flower grow. I needed colors and I learned that day that my love for pink was strong which soon became my only and favorite color. I like all flowers, but only I could see the pink in this flower. to the sky I wish all flowers could be pink, but in a world grey and white.. One was a miracle.
Oh how I loved this flower.
But Momma always told me not to pick the pretty flowers... Because They would die...
And daddy always told me to stay away from poisonis things becausw I would get hurt...
But in my world grey and white, I didn't want to leave the only thing that could bring color into my life, the only color I could see. So I sheltered the flower... And ate their leaves the leaves the flower gave to me.
Oh what a poisonis flower...
...Oh what a poisonis flower...
'I think I'm awake now. Ive never seen a place like this before were Everythings colorful.
Why am i grey?
Am i going insane?
Where is my flower?
Where is my flower?
Where is my flower...?
I didn't understand what was going on.
This flower gave me color and I just wanted to have my flower back.. I Dropped to my knees and cried in the green grass and asked the sky with a tear in my eye..
"How could somewhere so beautiful feel so ugly without my flower?..."
Im so grey. It didn't matter if the world saw color anymore... In my eyes it didnt matter anymore.
Nothing mattered anymore. My life faded black and I just wanted to wake up.
I felt like i was dreaming.'
I could feel the poison leaving my body and by this point I woke up.
When I opened my blood shot red eyes and lifted my sore body... I could see my flower.
I looked at myself and I was full of color!
I was pink! Just like my flower!.
I thaught, 'Oh what a poisonis flower
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 2:43 PM UTC
it is warped, a flash, altered fast,
a hummingbirds heartbeat
glances in mirrors reveal
what couldve held elegance,
but now holds no potential.
a rose stripped of petals,
cities smothered in fog,
we are hurling questions into canyons
hungry for echoes, imaged answers.
on february nights I discover
tight smirks and smiles.
vampires to paper,
my thoughts hold no reflection,
I could capture syllables
dripping like acid from your sick, posioned lips.
loud apologies, pleading, forgiveness,
and yet, I sense no guilt.
love stories of bruises and scars spell beauty,
murals, pansies of purple and yellow
flourish, fill the curves of my hips.
sighing at the blades trail,
you kicked and shamed me.
six months pass, marks splatter your arm
needles now plant promises, whispers,
lies you starved for.
fingers dance against the pistol, never pulling.
empty shivers, applause from the crowd,
twisted approval only you could hear.
eyes that once wept at my sickness
glaze and fall heavy, water beaten, eroded valleys.
syringes drain the handprints I left.
three a.m. brings shaded skies
your cries for help glow, a crescent moon.
but I am asleep.
Jul 27, 2013
Jul 27, 2013 at 9:00 PM UTC
sometimes she cries when she prays
think she's got it all worked out
sometimes the ocean only waves
never stays
she couldve held me through this
i know i dont deserve it
but ima still be selfish
im trying to be the good one here
but its so hard to hear anyone cheer me on
im working on it alright
wearing the same clothes twice
forgetting to eat
letting my phone die
"what are you going to do when im not around?"
my mind only drifts to the sound
you'll let me out
keep my mouth shut
eyes on the floor
my back to the door
can't tell anybody anything anymore
feel like youre hating me more and more
Nov 20, 2016
Nov 20, 2016 at 1:24 AM UTC
I was literally laughing as I wrote this poem #enjoy
I anticipated your arrival all night long, patiently waiting as I listened to love songs. Visions in my head of how the night would come along. Nervous as hell, but I had to stay strong. So i drank a glass of wine couldve possibly been two , knowing you had no idea of what we were about to get into. Or maybe you did... and wanted me to think ...other wise. Playing your part... angel In disguise. I get the text I was waiting for my heart started racing. I ran to the door you would've thought I was racing. In you walked and my world stood still.. I got chills... this was real...a new feel. The opportunity I was waiting for finally presented itself I had to take advantage ..if I should say so myself..... When my nerves calmed down it was time to make a move, afraid you would stop me, but I had to do what I had to do. Slowly I kissed you all over your body with Keith sweat playing in the background ... who can love you like me? ...NOBODY! Then I asked if you wanted me to stop... A rhetorical question.... You said no ...ooowee what a blessing. Accepted the Invitation for your information this was no fabrication but a lady doesn't kiss and tell so ill leave the rest up to your interpretation ...use your imagination!
Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014 at 9:22 AM UTC
In winter, when the flakes of snow falls down
There has got to be a moment before
Where the fall season have got a heavy weight of the winter ready.
What a lovely moment of the summer turns into a season Fall.
Rest in It's warm serenity of rainbow is bounty of the Fall seasonal.
It's only of a many-hued, colorful occasion of a year that is the rains of the start to fall.
On the cheeks of the pumpkin seasonal is an autumn colored and blush
Only in September of every year
There's a shade tone on features.
While every one couldve fall in love with
When it's only one week early and everything fashioned by the brown pigment
Every piles from the luck chances is by the means of the eliminating a depression,,
As of the every autumnal evening turns into a memory of sadly nostalgia.
And the total sum up the color of the red, brown ,yellow and orange, designed neatly at the each side to side
Together with the each of the features of autumn.
Such tender resides with the every quality in autumnal reminiscence.
Sep 17, 2025
Sep 17, 2025 at 1:56 PM UTC
Forgive my transgressions
Strip me of my sins
I'm sorry I'm not perfect
I wish I couldve been
A murderer I am
Of all my hopes and dreams
Barricaded myself in
And listened to my screams
I forgave those who robbed me
Of secrets I couldn't keep
Because they were too heavy
I couldn't set them free
Now I'm bound to my own shame
And hanging by a thread
Please just forgive me
Of the weight I need to shed
I'd take a thousand lashings
If I could finally see
That the person I need forgiveness from
Is me
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 11, 2018 at 12:45 AM UTC
I. Siren
Maiden of the sea
mysterious as can be
dipping beneath the waves
never to be seen
dragging poor sailors
down below their graves
Temptress of the ocean
devoid of emotion
player of a twisted game
sign of good or bad omen
yet every story ever told
ending the same
Sweet Sailor of the blue
I wish I couldve warned you
watch out for the maids
and try not to lose
your head or your heart
she’s only playing charades
Jan 14, 2013
Jan 14, 2013 at 3:56 AM UTC
I refuse to be a slave, Refuse to be a slave anymore God gave me the rights to be free...R.I.P To T.M & M.B. (jus 2 think tht couldve been me) 4 those who arent Paying attention I'm talkin about Travon Martin & the late Mike Brown, **** shame we're still being slaughter because of our skin tone, 2014 Last time I check Racism & abuse should be eliminate (not even in our train of thought as a people) by now!!! We as a people need to make our movement consistent boycotting anything with their pockets involved, injustice has to stop 1way or the other. Solutions should never Include us increasing the violence & killin another n the name of justice that doesnt exist ..
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 15, 2014 at 6:41 PM UTC
my female cicada
found way to lay eggs
inside of my nasal cavity
our larvae are
pupating
hatching free
screaming inside of my frontal lobe. maddening me.
and a swarm it swims out
every time that i sneeze
and i ask them to please **** me
with their disease
but they chew through my hyde
(and who knew that id
find the hard way these incestuous insects could tease
til they torture the swallowed man, hollowed inside,
empty,
wallowing,
died
(and now no mind to mind,
so i guess i forgive em;
their mess, as the walls of my mind are lined with em))
yes theyve blessed these
molested and
nested flesh pieces of me
and replaced em with feces and waste:
rest in peace.
guess a curse would be worse,
now i know that my family
makes our home in the earth,
and they take what they give;
they give Death to take birth
and take breath from each other to give to themselves,
and what else?
Fathers Brothers
and Sisters and Mothers
are Kissing cuz thats what lovers
do to lovers
before they enjoy their next meal made of ******
"Meat i would like you to meet Meat and Meat" cuz thats all that they are to eachother like i was to their second cousin and mother. and she was to me a sure way to become better father and son by means of becoming fully free of this Life, what a wife, giving me family at the same time as taking my life so i dont have to end it by sending a knife through my wrist or my neck, oh and lest i forget: well, i beckon to send you a message, my wife: "im so sorry that i wasnt there when our our kids started ripping and taring your body apart. Love i Swear if i couldve been there idve stopped em and started to chop em and never have stopped. but its over now. lover how lovely itd be if you were singing delicately next to me with your legs and then climbed back inside of my skull to lay eggs in my nasal cavity. the screaming and ravishing, pupating, oh its so maddening not be having these. hacking and wheezing and coughing and sneezing til my nose is bleeding and they can start feeding. i wanna feel feelings of them eating on my brainstem and the rest of my flesh and then hollowing out all of my bones and then make a home as they start to have larvae all of their own which then, they will then start to eat, from my head to my feet, and between, from my elbows and knees, im a death bed of meat which my family needs;
theres so many to feed cuz - theyduplicatein3's...
Jun 19, 2013
Jun 19, 2013 at 12:07 AM UTC
i told them what happened
i cried in their faces
some said "you were wearing those leggings- you know what that was saying"
some didn't believe me at first but when the tears came they heard
the pain in my voice and they believed my words
some said i didn't deserve it but at the end of the day i willing put myself in the situation
'what the hell' i thought
'i have no support"
the group message was all complaints
about them being pulled from class to help my case
did they not see my pain?
i felt all alone
like no one believed that i had said the word "no"
or that i asked him several times if we could go
and he replied "no"
my consent didn't matter
when the only way out is to climb the ladder
that's what u should do
i couldve bit and i could have fought but i didn't see how when every boy i play fight w could pin me down
and i had just bought the pepper spray that was in the compartment between us
nobody believed me
maybe he did
but he still blamed the situation on me
when you say what you say all i hear is
"you got ***** bc you put yourself in the position too"
i knew it could happen
so does that mean i was asking for it?
no
^ that's the word he didn't understand
i want to puke, and sometimes cry
other times i'm numb and feel nothing inside
i can't be alone w my love now and not breakdown
i had a dream last night it happened again
except this time i told no one
because why go through the pain of telling it and re creating it to these people
if they aren't gonna believe ya
im laying in the dark and hoping that i can ball and cry reall soon
"thank for believing"
i got to say to no one ever
Aug 17, 2016
Aug 17, 2016 at 1:45 AM UTC
like a piece of paper
printed-stored in a dark file
then -after a while placed inside a shredder
that how useless i felt
when our love went through the wire
it doesnt matter how much i couldve prayed
but i had fallen pray
of this cycle of life that happens day by day
like a piece of paper
i got recycled-re vived again
as to become useful to somone
out there
willing to make me appreciated again
turning me into something different
making me feel useful again
pegz (c)
Jan 19, 2010
Jan 19, 2010 at 1:29 AM UTC
All you do is put me down
Shut me down
And laugh
You're a ******* princess
Thinking you're cool
Just because you hang with a group of people that seem to think they're better than everyone else
You always have your nails done
Your eyebrows done
Your hair done
Everything has to be perfect
Im not a girly girl
Im not rich
Im just a white chick
Who couldve give two *****
I used to think you were my friend
That you were nice
But the only reason I ever thought that
Is because you were using me
Since you had noone else
We were best friends
Great friends
But now I wonder why
I dont want anything to do with you anymore
All you do is make me feel like Im below you
That Im not good enough
That Im not cool enough
You know what?
Go **** yourself.
Jul 30, 2015
Jul 30, 2015 at 2:55 PM UTC
You left me alone.
to walk this path carrying your burden.
Why are you walking away?
was it something I've done?
will I be judged alone?
you never said sorry
will I ever feel the same?
REALEASE YOUR SCREAM
why should I endure this pain alone?
I now grieve for what could've been.
am I not good enough?
am I just a toy?
for your amusement?
enjoyment?
you left me alone.
to walk this path carrying your burden.
why are you running away?!
why don't you help me?!
am I nothing?
am I just a body
for your delicate fingers to touch?
to burn your eyes across my skin?
to use me?
RELEASE YOUR SCREAM
why should I be silenced!
the guilt eats me alive
to my bones.
I am so ashamed.
WHAT HAVE I DONE!
I COULDVE STOPPED IT!
I COULDVE SAID NO!
but I didn't.
I am selfish
in it for my own pleasure.
RELEASE YOUR SCREAM
I feel the force of air rip through
my throat.
and the pain feels too good.
Understand this now.
I made a mistake.
I RELEASE THIS SCREAM
May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 11:45 AM UTC
I stand in Memphis thinking of what IFs in a cage so
I could maybe grab wildly at one that couldve been
true like IF we shared shared the same name No
I'm not the one trying to persuade you in a lifestyle
thought we both practiced I've been waiting
at this bus stop with two tickets forever maybe its
a definite possibility if you'd accept
Just step up those steps holding
bags instead sorry faces that just dismiss just make it all
I need to hear shoes holding the bus driver's gaze
run run run His key turns
Don't leave me here standing next
to the drink machine like on the day I meet you short for change
you were So I stand in Memphis waiting for you to get on the
bus thinking of a life we coulda had
the first time
we stopped being secret lovers in closets our parents never
thought to peak in only IF you left their doubts
with the stuff you didn't pack Im losing this argument
on the phone why we did all this? don't tell me Apologizes
this was a wasted last check at the local Mart Their
doubts filling your destiny as you utter words I knew
you were capable of saying
to tell me you're never going
I accepted it all in Cali that you
had already straightened out in Memphis
so I left for Cali after Georgia so you couldn't ever find me
when regret set in
Nov 29, 2012
Nov 29, 2012 at 11:18 PM UTC
2-3-13
THE SUNRISE APPEARS OVER THE MAJESTIC MOUNTAINS
AS I GAZE INTO THE BLUEST COTTONBALL SKY, TEARS WELL UP IN MY EYES
ONLY GOD COULDVE MADE THIS EARTH WE LIVE ON
JUST GRATEFUL TO BE ABLE TO SEE ANOTHER SUNRISE.
ALL MY RAW EMOTIONS WELL UP WITHIN ME NOW
TEARS WILL FALL, BUT EVENTUALLY THEY WILL FADE
FOR I KNOW THAT LOVE IS EVERLASTING
ALL OF MY FOUNDATION BUILT, THE BEST OF HIS PLANS THAT HAVE EVER BEEN MADE.
CURIOUSITY HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY ENEMY
CAN'T SEEM TO SEE FOREST THROUGH THE TREES.
SOLDIERS MARCH TO THE BEAT THEY HAVE BEEN TAUGHT
ALL I'VE EVER REALLY WANTED WAS TRUE LOVE AND HARMONY.
THE SADNESS COMES FROM WITHIN AND SLOWLY FADES
HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE WITH ALL THE AGONY AND PAIN
CLOUDS OVERHEAD, CIRLCING, SHOWING ME THE FUTURE
AM I DOOMED TO REPEAT MY MISTAKES OVER AND OVER AGAIN?
THEN, I SEE YOU, THROUGH THE FOG OF PURITY OF LIFE
AND I WONDER ABOUT WHAT YOU WILL DO, THINKING ABOUT YOU.
GAZING INTO YOUR SEASWEPT, LOVING AND BEAUTIFUL EYES.
THEN I KNOW THAT SOMEHOW, THIS LOVE WILL GET ME THROUGH.
I TRULY HATE PAST MEMORIES THAT MAKE ME CRY
IT ISN'T FAIR TO YOUR LOVING HEART, YOU KNOW THE TRUTH INSIDE
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON ME, I LOVE YOU SO.
I WISH THAT I COULD ERASE MY PAIN AND GIVE UP ON MY PRIDE.
I'VE SO MUCH GUILT AND MISERY BUILT AROUND MY WALLS
WISHING I COULD TRULY LET IT ALL BE GONE AND GO AWAY
AS I SEE YOU CREATE DISTANCE FROM ME, A PART OF ME DIES
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY.
DO YOU TRULY WANT THIS LOVE TO BE REAL AND LAST?
OR, ARE YOU REALLY AT THE END OF ANY PATIENCE YOU EVER HAD?
I'M NOT REALLY A CRIMINAL, BUT CHOOSE THE WRONG INSTEAD OF THE RIGHT.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF FEELING GUILTY AND DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU SAD.
ALL MY POEMS SEEM TO BE ABOUT YOU LATELY.
I WONDER WHAT THAT MEANS IN THE END....
i GUESS I'LL ALWAYS HAVE MY SENSITIVITY AND ********
I'M JUST WONDERING WHY THE PAIN AND WHEN WILL IT EVER END?
IN HEAVEN, THERE WILL BE ME AND YOU
I KNOW THIS TO BE PERFECTLY TRUE
FEEL ME AND I WILL FEEL YOU
KNOWING THIS LOVE IS REALLY TRUE.
I OVE YOU
Feb 8, 2013
Feb 8, 2013 at 8:33 PM UTC
I don't remember you
But I love you
I bet your laugh was contagious
And your bright smile turned heads
You were the kindest **** anyone couldve
Met
Heard the universe stopped turning when
You left
After all nothing can survive when its lost
The best
Never got to know you before you left
This world
But i will always be Daddys girl
Oct 3, 2015
Oct 3, 2015 at 7:59 AM UTC
Trapped in this vantablack room
There’s got to be a key somewhere
But Where?
Why do I want to leave this place????
The Isolation has been oh so nice....
I came here feeling strong, confident, powerful
Now I am nothing other than a pasty white corpse
A Corpse that has nothing to give because I have only taken
I desired lust and what I thought would lead to love
Karma got the best of me
I forgot to love myself
If I don’t relearn how to love myself then I will be trapped in this purgatory
Okay just one step before the other….
Good….
Another….
Ugh I just fell and cut my hand….
Well there goes that opportunity
I will just go back from where I came
Not like anyone every loved me the way I love them….
Wait????
Is that a voice?
“Woah hi what are you doing here????”
I was looking for some *****
Well I am sorry but we don’t have that here
But…….
It looks like you found the key to my heart…
Thank you so much…..
I cant imagine where I would be without you being here today
I couldve been lost forever if you didn’t show up today
“At the very least can I get your name?”
“I am Danielle”
One Year Later
“Danielle will you marry me?”
“YES!”
Nov 14, 2019
Nov 14, 2019 at 9:31 PM UTC
frozen in time,some say frozen inside
my mind races with what couldve been
instead im covered my favorite sin
i cling to my darkness because my soul feels comfortable there,
judged by my looks, the great smell of my hair.
daily smiling yet screaming inside,
where is my knight for behind i could hide?
u left me alone to look everywhere for u, yet your voice always saying your love is true.
your words and you are two worlds away, confusion in me deciding which world i will stay.
the scars on my wrists the scars on my heart
all proof to u how your body and mind on me departs.
yet to let me go would never be your choice, my true love for someone
now ive lost my voice.
once my best friend now turns on me and bites like a snake,
the addiction in u runs so deep and cold, ***** waste no beautiful lake.
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 9:08 PM UTC
Behind doors I cannot open with keys that never was, i feed letters through slots hoping they would reach him.
I dreamt that he would consume them and one day emerge, whole.
But the chrysalis never broke, and what couldve been never was.
Feb 8, 2024
Feb 8, 2024 at 5:46 PM UTC
The moment love ends!
The fear of starting over
Thought of never finding love
Or feeling worthy of it
It takes time to heal the stubborn hear is locked
On the person won Denys and rejects you most
You can't replace it feels wrong
Others show love but the heart is reserved
Always thinking of what shoulve
Or wonder what couldve been.
Others unworthy of love
Because it's not true love
Moving forward is hard
But trust one day true love will find you
Mar 15, 2013
Mar 15, 2013 at 3:27 PM UTC
How does it feel to be free?
To have everything you have ever wanted?
To be loved and love all at the same time with one person no complications?
It must be amazing to have everything at the tip of your fingers. Whether that be a cat, dog, rodent. Or a human being laying in your bed at 4 in the early morning with the sun just awaking from its slumber, its rays bouncing off walls, the persons face, your own ****** feautures being warmed from it. Do they have soft skin that you just stroke sometimes unintentionally and it reminds you of that silk night gown your mother used to wear. Is she beautiful? Is he rugged but sweet?
Did you leave the one you used to love because you found someone else and all of a sudden stopped loving because you never really did in the first place?
I bet you did, dont lie.
How does someone do that huh?
Please, i really want to know. How do you go from being in a 15 year relationship/marriage/engagement, and say every night that you love that individual you lay beside, and all of a sudden while doing your daily routine of getting up early for work and going to that local coffee shop for a small black coffee and the daily newspaper for luch time, you see someone. Someone you have never seen on this weekly run. And you say hi and introduce yourself, and you end up late for work.
That person didnt leave your mind once, did they?
As you start not wearing your ring anymore. You switch the placement of it, or you turn it so it just looks like an everyday accessory.
You changed and your love saw that.
So that one day later on, when those divorce papers on the dining table, or your bags of clothes and stuff in your shared home were at the front door, you were shocked and thats when you felt it.
Pain. Hurt. Anger. Shame. Broken.
They knew. You werent as careful as you thought you were, were you?
Now,
you sit at your small apartment on the corner of the worst, dirtiest street. They sit in their amazing home with the new love of their life, a few kids, a dog or cat. They are happy once again. The sad thing is of this whole situation youre in... is that, they still hope the best for you.
Youve hit rock bottom with nothing you love at your fingertips and no one to have there beside you, they are happy and in love.
See how the world works now?
Jul 2, 2014
Jul 2, 2014 at 10:41 AM UTC
I will not ask you what youve buried
With the hands that you used to pull me out of the earth.
I shouldnt ask you what youve tried to pull from the sky
With the fingers that you used to reach me to the clouds
I wouldn’t ask you what you’ve kept silent
With the mouth that you used to convince me from the shadows
I couldn’t ask you what you’ve run away from
With the legs that ran towards me.
I wont ask you why you did
I wont ask you why you shouldve
I wont ask you why you wouldve
I wont ask you why couldve
And neither should you.
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 6:50 PM UTC