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You didnt know her
The past me
You think you do
You think you did
You owned her
You didnt know her
You owe her
The pain she went through by herself
Controlled her
The way she drank her hurt away
Consumed her
Forever alone, she cried and you weren't there
To see it
To believe it
You didnt know her
You hated her
You wanted her to suffer
You still do
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Let me lay my head on your shoulder
Tell you all my fears
About how we're getting older
And losing all our years
How time is being wasted
Feeling empty and alone
Regretting never doing
The things we've never known
Let's talk about the past
Because theres no hope to our future
Those memories won't last
And we arent getting any cuter
Why does it go so quickly
So soon we meet our maker
Time moves much more swiftly
Now we're all just fakers
Let me lay my head on your shoulder
And tell you all my fears
About how we're getting older
And losing all our years
Watch them slip by together
That's how I want it to be
But your never here to listen
The only one drowning is me
One day

I'll close my eyes

Never open them again


One day

I'll see the sun

For exactly what it is


One day

I'll hear your heart

Hollow, beating in your chest

And I'll know

I'll know

Everything you won't confess


One day

I'll smile again

And know it isn't fake


One day

You'll see exactly

How much I can take


One day

I'll close my eyes

And finally see your true face

And I'll know

I'll know

What's behind your grace



And I'll be free

To just be me
The way I miss you
Makes it hard to breathe sometimes

The way I miss you
Makes it hard to breathe

The way I miss you
Makes it hard to see sometimes

Makes it hard to see
You've become a stranger to me
Life has made the smallest turn
It's big for me because the past still burns
Obsessive thoughts still flood my mind
Leaving me weary, gaurded, blind

When everything seems to be ok
There's always something that stands in the way
I don't want another shady observation
Another angry confrontation

So I sit back and let the world go by
Ignore what I hope is my troubled mind
Silently pleading my heart to watch it's step
Begging for it to never forget
I feel the world closing off again
I feel it
The walls are caving in again
I feel it
Emotions are draining
But they aren't worth saving
I'm feeling so alone again
I feel it


I wake up in a panic
Alone
I can't breathe when I'm the only one home
Where is my peace
Where is my strength
It's gone when
I'm alone

I wake up in a panic
And your next to me
I can't breathe when I feel like I'm suffocating
I'm alone even when your talking to me
I have no strength to fight it
I feel it

It's cold hands grab my neck
And it squeezes
If I believed I would pray that Jesus
Would save me from the ice spreading down my spine
But instead I keep it trapped in my mind
And I feel it

I feel the world closing off again
I feel it
I know I'm the burden then
I feel it
I try not to let the walls cave in
But I'm weak and they aren't paper thin
I feel it
Emotions are draining
But they aren't worth saving
I feel it
I feel it
I feel it
Cry
I cry before I fall asleep each night
If I have time, I cry before the sun decides to rise
And I cry each day you refuse to touch me
I cry when I know your not thinking of me

The only ones that tell me they love me are the kids
But how am I supposed to know if they know what love is
I can say that I don't care but I'm a mother
And I think about them and all the others

I don't want them to cry before they fall asleep each night
I don't want them to cry before the sun decides to rise
I don't want them to not know strength
But they see the weakness in me and I'm ashamed

That I cry myself to sleep because I'm lonely
And I cry while I'm cooking because no one holds me
And I cry in the shower because there's nothing left to do
I cry because I don't know if I can make it through

Then you finally come home and you ignore me
When I try to talk, you say that I'm boring
And maybe it's me who doesn't know what love really is
No one should have to cry their way through this
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