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FictionisReal Apr 2013
My tears are like small feet
Running down my face in speed
I always cry quietly this us a tradition
I hush myself and my little feet. Run quietly
I always mumble Never do I want to be heard
This is tradition that I hide away some where
Closed so that if my lips part the murmurs are not
Heard from outside ears that only understand laughter
So I keep my small steps in napkins and ball them up from
Site Because the running of tears is a secret tradition that only I can be present in.
Crying can be so beautiful
FictionisReal Apr 2013
Hi, I'm suicidal
I don't hav
e* anyone to talk to
Yes I've scrolled through my contacts twice
Not a number exists I can tell the darkness to
Hotlines are impersonal to the fact I'm on the
other side of the line with My future floating
In the tub So here I sit with water waiting under
My eyes I got nothing to lose
Just my life some people think I want the attention
Well I do I'm suicidal
I want someone to break the cold around me to notice
I'm getting slower that I'm fading Going crazy inside
Slowly numbing to all this life inside my heart
What now I'm confused in pain in away that's uncontrollable
Seems like every hour ticks so slow for me
Yes I'm suicidal
You might think I need to cry but I don't know how
I've done it so much I just woke up and forgot  how
So this paper will be dry no tear stains will blemish
My last words these words
I'm suicidal and these are the last words in my living testimony
Of how I've tried to wait it out and I just gotta
Go from it all got nothing to lose except my life


Hi I'm *
DEAD
FictionisReal Mar 2013
I broke a brain washing law
This is trachory to the men in black ties
Some how moans were heard So they're
Coming to take away my soul
I guess God heard my secrets and told
the pulpit walkers of our sweat stained sheets
Sin was committed But no knees hit the floor
We forgot how the angels watch
I loved her without clothes No I was not afraid
Not of holly water not of the book that the men walk
With but I was mumbling old songs as I searched her
body for a place to rest my body
Well we heard the men with their crosses were marching
With the unforgiving saints Who turn sinners into
Dust because hell is much to full
At this moment I stand prepared to die next to
her Cold body to many pills
I was ready but not her for the judgement
See we had broken Leviticus
Turned the angels to stone as I kissed Her
So I will not be saved from the stones broken
of their wings
Thing is even as I hear their praying near
In my heart I love her more than the words of Leviticus
Such a lawless act all based on love we committed
FictionisReal Jan 2013
I'm sure you never guessed He was with me.
At first No you never guessed that smell you smelt was me you're not at fault Neither is He loved you that's why He never left you instead he found me easy prey happy to be the one at fault the
one who should have kept her hands to herself and asked more questions instead of accept a kiss from a stranger whos eyes never meet mine truly
   I never cared after all I didnt realize didnt wanna pay attention to the ever so reality
    instead I pretended you didn't exist and him calling me at 11:30 every night was norm
  I was Wrong you believed even though he wrote his name on my napkin and took off the ring  
  So he could put it all away I was a threat to the fact that indeed maybe the love he felt for you is mechanically programmed into him So in fact its not your fault or his directly that you lost control and killed me in a brief moment I'm just a dead girl who keeps the two of you together now right
  with out this secret buried in the brush separation would've crept  and my mother would know what happened to her child He must love you
He didn't even  look me in the eyes instead He closed mine
Like some how I wouldn't hear the shovel scraping

*DeadGirl
A short story that explains it self
FictionisReal Dec 2012
"Leaves Walt's past me  touching upon
water graced with a reflection undisturbed
by my longing  across from mines.
Fated to be separated with a full moon
that Expresses the distance in which we stand.
The night being the only cloak for our forbidden love.
*How I wish at this moment I was a leaf
floating closer toward a face only
compared by the stars behind
it that try to match the beauty that

*surrounds eyes skimming water that is only *
*the beginning of what separates us ,but at
the deep of this river we can be side by side so
let us both sink at the same moment
we saw each other and realized we were unjustly
separated by a pitch black river with a moon resting
above our connection as our feet break the
icy length between us......."
to be together is a risk
FictionisReal Dec 2012
She's cold* but she needs a fix to warm
Her shattered body withered away from strange
men stuck in a world were make up
is a good enough I.D. so she plays in the snow
A little longer no one dares utter *Merry Holidays

carrying bags filled with goodies for good kids
Who only undress for a bath Shes no sweet piece of pie
It seems everyone knows shes a bad kid though seeking
goodies only handed off in hotel rooms with
water stained ceilings her heart beating to bed springs

She's cold but she needs to make a dollar or two
more to get a flake on her tongue unfeed yet
if everyone knew she was sent here to stay
with a uncle she never knew lived up here
For the holidays another sacrifice for her mom's
Christmas tree habit

She's cold Yet she has to make a snow angel
tonight to feel like she's not just a girl apart of
a group of sixth who sit in between client time
imagining what high school would be like
if daddy would let them attend just
to feel as clean as class room desk

She's cold but its just the right temperature
for her to collapse another vein from pressure
of snow falling to fast for her to move Shivers recede

She's cold but she cant move her body up
in a way feeling a high faster then her arms can spread
wide and her legs can seem to move outward numb

She's cold but she knows in this dead end alley
Only hands of thieves will move her so she closes her
eyes and on Jesus's Birthday feels no more cold
Because snow angels go home to heaven?
Merry Christmas to all the beautiful Snow Angels out there.
FictionisReal Dec 2012
I believe happiness
Settles some where
At the bottom of a
bottle of gold

I scramble to the cabinet Ashamed
this sobriety is being Put in a
clear cup and drowned With
poison that turns your
Liver holy like the
church women That
dress in white kidneys destroyed

If I could pour it down
Only if it was rain
I wouldn't mind letting
Every drop hit the ground
try extra hard to step
Over every puddle instead
Of collecting drops on my
Sponge tongue tonight

I swallow bitterness dreams
To big to fit down my throat
This time so I spit up

Explosions send waves through
Out a bottle attached body
Laying on the side that's not
So bruised with signs I've
Been laying here next
To the white anchor
Holding tight Struggling
To lift  myself to face
The bowl ill wake up to

The focus never in my Eyes
One roll back will be it
As I Try wretching for my
Soul Come out and show
What swimming in
***** and liquor
Does to the innocent
Mouthed
......
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