Sep 23 Creep
it's my birthday.
i cried last night of the thought that i really made it another year.
the rain seemed to push me down so hard and i can't believe i'm still here.
walking with my friend yesterday,
i looked at her,
just by looking at her,
i knew that i should be here.
in that moment,
i knew i wanted to stay.
it's birthday and i'm --,
another year of breathing,
another year of crying,
another year of smiling,
another year of feeling like i was nothing,
another year of loving,
another year of me.
i don't know how to feel this year about myself yet
i'm here and that's all that matters.
more than any other month, last month i came close so many times to just ending it all. those times were the first times in years where i had everything planned out for my departure and was ready to end it all.

but i'm here. i don't really know what that says about me or what or how i'm doing. but i'm here.

happy birthday to me
  Sep 23 Creep
Disa Pradwika
home is not a place
it is never a place

it is a feeling

if you’re lucky

it is a person
and you’ll be homesick for them
Creep Sep 23
Please don't let us

It'd hurt too much--
I've bared my soul out for you,
my whole heart is in those deep pockets of yours
the ones I always loved so much.
It's been so long since someone has been able to
hold my heart
oh so tenderly
the way you do.

Don't squeeze it, drop it,
return it.

Sorry! I have a no refund or exchange policy :)
Creep Sep 23
I'm worried.
It's starting again-- this is how it always
******* starts.
We get too busy,
I have things to do,
you have things to do,
it's all the same, it's okay.
Suddenly, I'm too far away,
it's too much of a hassle now,
and we won't have much time.
Next thing you know, days become
and weeks become
and eventually
even though we were the greatest,
we have faded and
there is no we.
im scared
  Sep 23 Creep
Luna Quinn
fatal kisses,
& ego trips.

holding hands,
but cutting ties.

longing for control,
yet, with hungry eyes.

insatiable thirst,
for breaking hearts.
  Sep 23 Creep
Path Humble
left my phone unlocked
on the taxis back seat,
won't be the last time

called it a few times
finally, the driver picked up

he had a fare immediately after mine,
and was now headed way downtown,
and would call later
when fate returned him nearer my office

and so it came to pass,
very shortly thereafter,

we met on the street,
he rolled down  the window
and with the greatest smile of pleasure,
as if he had won the lottery
handed me my phone

I had two $20's to cover any expense he might have incurred,
neatly folded in my hand  
and offered it right up, right away;
but the driver repeatedly pushed my hand away
as I insisted,

"No sir, no no, not necessary!

Allah sent me a fare
that took me soon back close to you, so,
  no loss of time did I suffer,
so your offer is kindly unnecessary!"

to which I replied,

Allah sent you to me
so I could reward you!"

and with an equally, beaming smile continued,

"our ride and meeting today,
together was pre-ordained it was

Inshallah!" ^

something he could not dispute...

  we parted ways
   each believing,
   each receiving
a heavenly check plus,
each, credited with a mitzvah^^
on our
respective trip logs,
our humanly divine balance sheets,
kept by the
supreme taxi dispatcher
Arabic for ^"***/Allah willing" or "if ***/Allah wills," frequently spoken by a Muslim

^^a meritorious or charitable act in the Jewish tradition

NYC taxi cab drivers are suffering economically by the explosion of ride hailing app cars, many unable to pay their bills, earn a living, have committed suicide over the past few months

true story, poetry is there for the taking
  Sep 23 Creep
I'm sure I look fine.

Days like today,
I want to ***** the skin
From my forearms
Using only my fingernails.

Days like today,
I want to wring out
My legs like a washcloth,
Squeeze the rolls on my stomach
Until they're empty.

Days like this,
I want to walk away from my body

I'm sure I look fine.
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