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Why chase your ideal view of perfection
You can have a bronze tongue disguised in silver
A bond built on brokenness that is never a whole
All the answers to the questions you view as important
But never have the answers to the questions asked
Hopeful but desperate for a silver lining
Sad but happy with how I am contributing
Not feeling I am doing enough
Complacent.Lost..Happy?
I have just be thinking a lot of who I am and what I am doing and how I just feel lonely in my own self discovery.
Alexander Daniel Nov 2019
Trapped in this vantablack room
There’s got to be a key somewhere
But Where?
Why do I want to leave this place????
The Isolation has been oh so nice....
I came here feeling strong, confident, powerful
Now I am nothing other than a pasty white corpse
A Corpse that has nothing to give because I have only taken
I desired lust and what I thought would lead to love

Karma got the best of me

I forgot to love myself
If I don’t relearn how to love myself then I will be trapped in this purgatory
Okay just one step before the other….
Good….
Another….
Ugh I just fell and cut my hand….
Well there goes that opportunity
I will just go back from where I came
Not like anyone every loved me the way I love them….
Wait????
Is that a voice?
“Woah hi what are you doing here????”
I was looking for some *****…..
Well I am sorry but we don’t have that here

But…….
It looks like you found the key to my heart…
Thank you so much…..
I cant imagine where I would be without you being here today
I couldve been lost forever if you didn’t show up today
“At the very least can I get your name?”
“I am Danielle”
One Year Later
“Danielle will you marry me?”
“YES!”
Alexander Daniel May 2018
Dusty glistening light
Filling his pours with gold
Crushing his heavy heart
For hes a fool searching for gold
Alexander Daniel Dec 2017
There but hard to find
Given away too often
Returned to sender
Alexander Daniel Jul 2017
Before the last seven days
I was starving for attention
I wanted someone to see me for whom I thought I was
I almost gave up
Quickly falling into my old ways
To the old player in me
Saying all the right things
Just to end up in someone's bed
So I could feel something

I am no longer anxious
I've found comfort with someone that adores all my flaws
She looks at me like no one else exists
Her eyes burn with a passion that can't be matched
She makes me feel at home although I haven't been home the past few days
She makes me want to always hold her hand
She makes me want to kiss her in public
Things I've never been so confident in doing
She doesn't see who I was in the past
For I will do anything for her
Just as she does for me

I drown her in compliments
Amazing dates that would make any girls heart melt
Someone I can be weird in public with
Sweet dreams because when she sleeps she sees me

This all feels like a dream
I don't know what to say
For I am afraid to say the wrong thing and wake up from this beautiful dream
Found someone that's is absolutely perfect and I am practically living with her.
Alexander Daniel Jul 2017
Desperate...Click
Honest...Click
Hopeless...Click
A lot of baggage...Click
Too Clingy...Click
Extremely Religious...Click
Spins the chamber shut

"I don't want to do this but it has to be done..."

"Hey Alex how are you doing?"
        "Hey we need to talk....I am sorry I want you only as a friend."
"But you said our dates were fun."
         "I am sorry I hate to do this....."
Click
Bang

"Sorry"
I have known this girl for only two days and we went on two dates. The first one was to Big Boy of all places (her choice). Then we went golfing and made out the next day. Then she told me all about her past and everything and now shes very clinging and is freaking me out. I don't want to break her heart but I almost have to. (Side note I have nothing against religious beliefs but I dont consider myself religious which she is to a very extreme extent.
Alexander Daniel Jul 2017
Wow you are amazing
You look very sharp today
You came over here so smoothly
You are so clever
You brighten my day whenever I talk to you
You are so good at your job
I can't believe you remember me you are going to go far in life
You are so personable which makes you a great employee
Hey I remember you...You are the guy with all the jokes
Awe you are so cute
You look like you run this place

I am receiving all these amazing compliments but I cant help feeling trapped
Screaming underwater while my lungs fill with water
Trying to swim but the more I try the further I sink
Its only been two days at since I have started working at meijers again and people have just been raining down compliments on me the past two days. I am starting to ask myself what am I doing here everyone clearly sees I deserve better.....I dont know what to do.  Decisions
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