Finished up the day, it feels late, but it's not
Trying to relax and stay calm
Back is locking up and the body glad to be in bed
Took pills for pain so it could ease up
Release the tension
Need to rest but wide awake deep in thought
Still hasn't happen yet the world feels blocked out
Rise above the people who slander my name
Trying to rest but restless thoughts
In my mind I find peace make sense of everything
I hate to fail but come up short
Try to stay on time and consistent with all the resistance
I'm getting older everyone feels more distant
All I do is listen to people who set me up to fail
All I want to do is make it and prevail
One to fight and Bite now all I do is tuck my tail
Not arguing with useless people who take me for granted
So numb I feel life less feel my soul leave my body
Mistake for dead emotionless in my head
Stare off into the distance block it out
The sounds around me becomes white noise
Feeling trapped can't escape over all the hate
Faced my fears no one knows wipe the tears
Smile like the hurt isn't there
Hide it all be strong for others
In the end it catches up you want to leave it behind
comes back not ready for the attack
Hard to breathe what's next
can't keep living of the same good deeds
Feeling drained
Heart pains
Just want to be done with today
Even though it's barely getting start
I'd rather write than argue and fight
Makes it easier for me to sleep at night
More on my mind closure is hard to find
Obsession drives me crazy feels like I'm going blind
Spoke the truth but seen as ruthless
On my own path viewed as a lost cause
Not a follower born to lead
Doing what I love not about money or greed
Had my ups but they come down
Had my towns they won't let me up
Sometimes things level out come out even is the gain
Worked hard so I can forget my drama
Now work is full of insanity all the games
Never let things get to me over all the frustration
Something I once loved now the joy is gone
Been doing it for too long now it feels wrong
Time for a change need to turn the page
Look in the mirror white hairs starting to age
From working hard to get ahead
To feeling stuck and getting worked
Not the same over come this hurt and pain
Who I was vs who I've become still not done
Had a plan but faced many detours
Change it up to escape this insanity
So worked up in my mind want to yell
Scream real loud with all my being
Keep at it but had enough it's so tough
Once loved it all but don't want to do it anymore
Gave my all went hardcore not what I want
Another uphill fight I'll never win, ready to walk away
Overlooked skipped over no need to stay
Walk with God I pray he helps me get through the day
They told him he couldn't but he's been doing it
She waved and went out of her way to say hi
There was a mutual vibe between the two
He was brown and a hard worker very phyiscal to get the job done
She was blonde with blue eyes, her nuturing behavior because of her job
He no longer wanted the life he lived but wanted to move forward with him
She smiled young and innocent where he was older knew better but chose not to do right
He learned from him mistakes and didn't want to fall back into bad habits
He grew up with tough love and she was loved and had it easier
Most do the opposite of what they say, actions speak louder than words
Feeling trapped in my head so many make me think k onto over thinking.
I like my job but over being bounced around. I'd like to focus on what I love which is writing and jujitsu so many time conflicts and restrains that make me think and wonder.
I write all the time some tell me I'm good, while others criticize ripping me a new one. Some people like to get in your head ruin your inner peace because they are not happy with themselves. I'm one to help and encourage others, I use to want and help others; I'd rather be alone found comfort in my own company.
Took time out to figure it out, things don't feel right others try to contaminate your good vibes
Sometimes I want to write and post other times; I just save them, why write if you can't share.
I don't know sometimes, things pile up in my head. Writing is the only way to get it out, also podcasting, I love express myself that's why people get mad at me because I tell the truth lieing takes up too much, time and energy. I prefer to be straight up. Been a while trying to get back at it
Finally Friday made it through the week. Working hard to get it done earn what's mine. Been sick but pushing through. Critics trying to throw a monkey wrench in this machine. Things have been up and down but not shutting down. Deep in though not trying to change because someone is threatened.
Struggle is real not to fond of others telling me, what's best for my interest.
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