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MsAmendable Mar 2016
The bitterness of knowing
You do not deserve sadness,
As though pain were a prize
You have not earned, and yet
The knife in your heart, and life
Pouring from your eyes to this page
Beg to differ,
But with a world that has earned sadness
And I, who has just stumbled blearily
across it, like a feast for my hungry soul,
Stay bitterly and undeserving,
Guilty for tears
Without reason or right; a smile
Is the simplest lie, but cloying
When you have no right to be hurt
It is unbearable, that smile
That rests on my unbearable lips
MsAmendable Aug 2015
The unknown is comforting in the thought,
That for all the bad that may come,
There is just as much good

And thus, I do not fear the future
MsAmendable Aug 2015
My arms flung wide
Head flung back
And my eyes are closed
I'm floating in black
I'm waiting for that hand
To pull me out
Of this strange land
But I'm also fine waiting,
Here is smooth and calming
Not bad, or mad like passion is
But rather a darkness balming
The sores from the last man who tried
MsAmendable Aug 2016
A tree
Like a weary man, waits.
His proud spine refusing to bend
He stands, arms outstretched
Hands reaching to the unforgiving sky,
His tired limbs sway, but he stands
Refusing to succumb,
His legs planted firmly, defiant
Of the world, it seems, he stands
Where no other dare,
Precarious on the rocks,
Strong against the wind
His breath drawn thick and white
Around his face like a scarf,
Watching and waiting,
To stand forever alone
MsAmendable Jul 2016
You cannot burn fire.
Or drown water
since its ALREADY TRUE.

Death cannot die,
For he is already dead
MsAmendable Apr 2015
I just crushed a bug.
It was crawling on my bed.
It had no chance,
And now it's dead.
MsAmendable Jun 2018
Time keeps slipping past
I try to hold on,
But it sits like so much water
In clumsily cupped hands

I am the tip of a restless drill
Backed with the force of inevitablity
Carving endlessly through thick fog,
the blindness of what's to come

I am pushed,  endlessly on
And when I look back I realize only
How distant now, my old reality was
And I'm pushed ever further away

Every moment begins and ends without consent
If I'm ready to relinquish one present for the next,
Every moment passed is a loss to the current of time
Which I Greive,  yet I gain another

She remembers neither my glory nor sin,
In an unmarked world, I am born again
MsAmendable Jan 2016
Before the world came darkness
And at its end was peace,
But chaos calmly churned between,
A violent masterpiece
MsAmendable Apr 2016
It might have been an idle dream,
It could have been a lie
But when I saw your shining face,
A thousand years went by.
MsAmendable Feb 2016
Twelve seconds left
To fix the world.
Start from within,
The rest will follow.
MsAmendable Oct 2015
Present, past or future?
This poem has not been written.
MsAmendable Apr 2015
I'd like to hear a flower
Take its *******
When first sunbeam stops
To illuminate dew drops

I bet it sounds sweet
clear like a bells' beat
Ringing soft and pure
Euphoric and demure
MsAmendable Apr 2015
How soft you are
On my nose
When it runs
And when I blow

Pulled from a box
Like a magic mans hat
Clean as my conscience
(But don't ask about that)
MsAmendable Aug 2015
Gently I watch from the dark
Pushing up a thin tissue front
Into the harsh light.
It wavers in the breeze, yes,
But let's through some honeyed light
Enough to twine my fingers through
And pour into me with life
My sheild from the burning,
Men with claws scratch, boring holes
That burn before my tissue can close,
And a sore, stinging soul
But the dark will wash it away
With tears and hope,
Innocence before it opens its eyes
To the light.
MsAmendable Jun 2015
Drawing the essence of the earth,
Up, but with trembling fingers
Spun thinner than spider legs
Quivering like a leaf in Autumn
But still, steady enough
To slowly pull out the thin, winding string
That bound you here,
Delicate like the first hope after despair
Longer, longer,
Until you can make a scarf,
Slowly twisting the ends,
And give it away
Because they needed it more,
And it will all be worth it.
MsAmendable Aug 2016
Talking in tongues,
The train of thought
Running in loops
Breathless lungs
Exhale, air caught
Head droops
MsAmendable Oct 2015
I was born in this world
With a day-old heart
And an ancient mind
MsAmendable Apr 2022
The words escape me,
Pushed as breath forced from beaten lungs
****** past my lips into vacuum
Trying to convey what left me breathless
Breathlessly
MsAmendable Aug 2022
Blinded once again,
I succumb easily
To good men with bad intentions.
X
We all have our weaknesses.
MsAmendable Jun 2015
I look for twilight,
The dim purplish light
Signifying neither day or night
But merely time,
held in lofty suspension
For precious few moments,
Not so blinding as day
Nor as smothering as night
But a momentary lapse
In the gaps between heaven and here,
Wherever here might be.
MsAmendable Aug 2016
There was an unearthly quality to the light; Somthing that settled not quite
Over the solid and soft-edged shapes,
Lavender in the sun's goodnight
The ethereal coolness drapes
Almost lovingly over the fevered sky
The solid, steady world giving way
To somthing gentle, far away
MsAmendable Apr 2015
The tracks of my tears
         *   Tearing
Lines of lies down my face
Like bars on a cage
And I'm trapped
And escape is so far away
I can't see a glimmer of hope
But rather, shades of grey.
I remember birds
And how far they can fly
But my wings are broken,
So why bother try?
And when my jailor comes I hide.
Because I *know

Who.
He.
Is.
And I can't bear it.
So I hide.
But I can't lie, not to myself
I can try to deny
But in the end I know
How useless that is.
Because under that horrible mask
Is not some monster in the dark...
But, I suppose it is.
And under that mask
My disguise
Is a cage of lies.
Where I sit and I cry
Because I know.
I put myself here.
*and I can no longer escape
MsAmendable Oct 2015
A honey-wax candle, dusty on the shelf,
With a wick so white and naïve.
It's sweet flame and dusky embers never licked,
For on a shelf it sits, unlit.
It never had burnt down
To ash, but its sweet golden crown
Sits safe on a dusty shelf.
MsAmendable Aug 2015
I live
Among old bandaids
And untold truths,
MsAmendable Nov 2015
It is not a measure of health
To fit in a sick society
Not mine-- am paraphrasing someone else
MsAmendable Oct 2021
I can see the end beginning
When the beginnings begin to end
This wild winter wind is softly winning,
My blood, tears, and snow will blend
MsAmendable Feb 2023
We were what we were
And we are what we are.

There is many necessary things about the past
MsAmendable Jul 2016
This is where the end began
Blood was shed and demons ran
Far beneath the pretty skin;
The frigid darkness lies within
MsAmendable Dec 2023
Bite my tongue to pieces,
I smile behind bloodred lips ,
Does the sweet scarlet curve entice you, my love?
My gold light under your cold sight eclipsed,
.
Have I made myself palatable enough
To be consumed?
Or does my bleeding flesh pollute, too pungent and sour
For the likes of your gluttonous love to devour

I don't know how to end it but I love a new start,
Devoted and lost, homelessness of the heart
MsAmendable Oct 2021
Love in a mist
Tiptoe through shadow
Unuseful mystery-
Useful mystery;
Unuseful clarity
MsAmendable Apr 2022
Each succeeding sonnet sways me no more
Than did the first
The rain taps it's fingers against the window,
The sounds of light half-echo
And slake my thirst
MsAmendable Jun 2024
Sunlight wrapped in chains of gold
The days are short, the nights are cold
Amid dark spots, dark thoughts, light rain
You use your sweetness to sour my name
MsAmendable Oct 2021
Say hello to my tomorrow
When mercy ends today,
Raise your arms to embrace sorrow
As life's last love dies away
And so it has begun
That I miss you more than I ever loved you;
The deep imprint remains-
your fingers on my flesh
Grasping so tight I could not exist anywhere
except in that moment with you
The imprints leave such ghastly hollows in your absence
Sharp contours like sunken cheeks
Incongruous with the plump pleasantries,
Like pastry, I crumbled in your hands
To be consumed by your love
Such fresh and living agony!
Contrasted now by the staleing crumbs of my heart
***
Once alive with blood in every breath
What else could painlessness be, but death?
MsAmendable May 2023
Snow melts
To soften and nourish the earth
And leave tender spaces
For the young things to bloom

And the roses that lay
Untouched on this splintered land
Still bloom, still bloom
As they bloomed before
In the day
MsAmendable May 2023
What is life if not an excuse to love a little longer
MsAmendable Aug 2022
The remains of my perfections lay untouched beside the wear on my fingers.

Proof of a cheap illusion that breaks away under the value of genuine work
MsAmendable Aug 2022
His arms
Wrap around my naked corpse
Is he holding me (is he giving up?)
Or am I letting go
MsAmendable Apr 2015
To take a life
(Like crush a bug)
It's just a fly...
I made it die
This is why I shouldn't be awake so late
MsAmendable Mar 2018
The end of life
Is also
The end of death
MsAmendable Jun 2024
A young woman hid, in a world long ago
A world full of hunger and greed
.
Asked,  "why do you hide?"
she answered, wide eyed,
"I dont want them to see how I bleed
MsAmendable Sep 2021
I suffered a quiet death
And in its quietness I was left
Filled with the sensations of
Displacement and non-existence

I graduated alone in a small room
From where I have now been evicted
All my cumulations of efforts
Have crumbled, unremarked, into dust

My sandcastles have been swallowed quietly by the ocean
And I, their queen, drown with them
MsAmendable Jul 2015
Gleaming towers of ice rise
Sharp heads swathed in haze
Piercing dusty morning skies
Over a sea of diamonds
Very smokey with forest fires, but starting to clear up
MsAmendable Dec 2022
And now when I scream
I no longer have the satisfaction of an echo,
Nor of any sound at all
MsAmendable Nov 2017
When all things are gone
Death will die
And life will begin again
MsAmendable Feb 2016
The clocks tick;
One second past midnight,
But the darkness never fades.
Stars don't shine on monsters,
But the world turns on,
Waiting for dawn to come
MsAmendable Oct 2015
Thick wool eyes
Flutter uncertainly in the morning
Tumbling out of their spinning dreams
And into the darkness,
fingers fumbling in the cold
For the light switch,
Eyes sear and water with overflowing light,
Feet curling on the cold floor,
Hands blindly grabbing at clothes
Thick wool swimming lazy circles
And softening your mind
In the early morning
MsAmendable Oct 2017
A frizz of hair and froth of cloudy breath
Walk down the dimly lit, puddled mirror
Of wet sidewalks
Shushed by the rush of the stampede
of bullets that shoot along beside
Pushed by an exodus of ex bus surplus minds
Flowing with the tide

Feathers flit and twitter overhead
With sticks and bits to make their bed
A sparse sea for company
Drops down to flow alongside me
And wet the grass
Which grows between the sidewalk slits
And rocky pothole pits
Beside the dark leaf stains and plodding feet
That beat a slow, releived retreat
From crowded bus seat
MsAmendable Nov 2015
Today, I'm a little lost
A little aimless wandering
A little stuck between here and there
Drifting effervescently
Ephemerally
Ghostly, almost
Gone
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