literary food for thought.
Self Mutilation
(ah bet thar iz an app for that!)
within unlit partial "FAKE abattoir"
   sans wardrobe alcove
   where dust bunnies didst allures
completing a simple task among
   my never ending (Matthew's) list
   of domestic chores

this undertaking engaged
   thankfully while completely clothed,
   and scrounging on all fours
nonchalantly picking up scattered detritus
   including food crumbs

   potential critters hors d'oeuvres
the spouse (ideally seated
   on this same swivel chair
   dashing off these lines

   linkedin with this Macbook Pro) -
   housing at least four scores
of word documents, she espied
   the cheeky opportunity
   that triggered many wars

within arms length the taut outline
   of me 'lil derriere - re: rear end
temporarily dormant versus
   when flatulence roars -

   posterior flank hie
   could not de fend
she playfully poked her finger
   that didst dis send
   within close vicinity of sphincter,
   where ****** turgid business height tend

(most likely this husband not alone
   getting ***** twerked) inn me own coal
less cents great movements got made
   jabbing ma *******

   while i happened
   to be "blindly" groping
   upon darkly cutout cubby hole
i.e. without wearing bifocals/ spectacles -

   envision a human mole
thus amply qualified her role
to be literal and figurative
   pain in the *** vole,

where much to my horror a flash
of red hot poker blind
   momentary rage, did lash
out at me, when aye espied

   a kitchen knife and acted rash
(how cutlery got in closet floor
   a minor mystery
   and potential topic de jure

   for another poem)
   to brandish sharp edge
   around abdominal area
grabbed handle with left hand,
   thence commenced to slash

rhythmically thwacking
   wrist of right hand
then quickly dropped sharp implement
(as like a man momentarily possessed)
   before rendering permanent harm
   with a river of blood to wash.

cuz...well...this cerebral cortex lacks
ability to comprehend anything
   more complex than playing jacks
aware his severe cognitive ability hacks

away at such juvenile gibberish
   and most likely exacts
a prediction my intelligence
   on par with bracts

very much aware that
   without recourse to contrivances
   delineating the passage of time,
   wherever said out
   standing invisible essence
   which moments lapse just now ago

Now!
no just a moment ago Yaw
that, this or another instant
   did without so much as a wow
lapse, and lucky

   21st **** Sapiens to vow
and lay claim thee or thou
aware the amorphous ether
   one can ****** as a sow  

or any other animate or
   inanimate direct or indirect object re:
yule lie zing
   any analogy, metaphor, simile,
   et cetera a poor substitute to pre
sent every second, minute,

   hour...that doth nee
dull our attention akin
   to banshees, or comparison
   to something else
   totally tubularly off the wall lee
ving without a trace

   only prompt a feeble yet apropos je
ne sais quois, yet even then any primate a he
than (if individual couched in this free
to believe in any religion country, and cre
may shun versus burial predicated

   adherence to idea of a soul aie...aye
how write with frustration struggle to affix bye
and bye, some nebulous notion, that doth defy
tis a futile effort to codify, fortify,

identify abstract concepts, whose high
arc key eludes pinpointing a per jai
guru dev, place or thing (ha)
   even scrunching brow
   defeats and doth be lie
this one measly mortal well nigh

tuckered out on par with calculating pi
  
tangential to asking if and/or
   how i can access
   fullest potential...say to write
about with the aid of symbols

   i.e. letters to expound on an idea trite
or one that confounded mankind
   many millenniums or quite
sum indeterminate orbits 'round el sol,

   no ability within this mite
ova reproductive happenstance (yes me),
   whom ye could tell go fly a kite
for inducing confusion,

   but the nature of this har re: beast
   with a little insight
gripped, harangued, rankled,
   et cetera, thus communicates
   hello or goodnight,

which understandable
   simple words may not excite
as quotidian oft repeated philosophical
   mental challenges
   i didst expend effort to cite,

which mind exercises offers
   no exit, ouch that doth byte  
and if subjected to  a brain scan
   would blind technicians
   and set alight

frenzied uproar amidst **** Sapiens
   via intense thinking to induce blind
ness flailing at feeling trapped
   asper being teased at find
ding no beginning

   or end like a mobius strip
   analogous to space/ time continuum
   that little effort could
   blow a fuse in the mind.

adieu: from matthew scott harris
hook halls schwenksville, pennsylvania
hiz home tow win.

since I pledged my troth with thee –
   at times wondering if the decision amiss
my affinity, cupidity, fidelity
   and integrity hardly contributed to wed did bliss
blithely paying lip service
   to birthday hardly enhances the marriage, thus miss

stir Matthew Scott Harris
   makes this overtures to acknowledge your day of birth
the years spent with you
   overlooked acknowledging july sixth, and such a dearth
does emotional/spiritual injustice,
   and undermines warmth felt at home n hearth

thus I set before myself the task to attempt some semblance alack
of recognition per your existence, which exercise harkens back
contra dancing at Summit Presbyterian Church
   coupled with tension and flack
at that time (decades ago)
   diving rod nada so sterling induced pants to jack
late lee with a bulge – at that stage of my life hormonal secretion
   owner of a hyperactive ***** horniness da schmuck did not lack
simian sentiments summoned woody to wedge with a wick whack

into tulip pinkish curtains that parted to usher my nada so sterling rod
though frequently premature *******
   found ***** hairs like clump of sod
where ma screwy tool (fueled
    with fur n zee for finger lick kin fricassee) trod
upon a carnal, feral, infernal landscape
   as a limp biscuit re: dough like wod

whereby whoosh spurted *****
   from excitable minute man – a prickly chum
diminished satisfactory ****** ******* when geyser of sticky gum
expelled forth geyser like – rivaled old faithful spewing genetic ***

yet despite predilection toward ******* hair trigger –
   betwixt us we begot
deux darling daughters –
   wove from the warp and woof beginning as a dot
yet fertility brought womb – supposedly, a self cleaning oven just hot
enough to massage each “bun in the oven”
   until gestation *** pleated plot
though now progeny young women themselves –
   I ponder if ***** may rot
and atrophy into a shriveled mummified tartan pattern matted splot
since testosterone
   took torpedo kamikaze nose dive e’er since ***** did trot

into the vaginal vortex and managed to cashier from mine ***** bank
fire off from the mint at least one non blank
when phallus retained an ******* juiced long enough to crank
out gooey gunk from me miniature frank
hence twas grate of ye to spread yar legs a task I thank

without your participation this anniversary of abby robin harris debut
two prized offspring
   (both born during winter) fatherhood he thankfully knew.

Ooh...this... just an amazing grace note
     recalling how I felt like an ***
and wanna toot 'bout me getting steered
     (as a heavy metal kid Rocker)

     toward befriending a brass
see gutsy, *****,
     and MainLine snooty upper class
action button down

    (grace fully slick as vaseline), airily glinting
     forcibly hawked, laundered, and pawned
     by the instrumental
     Mister Deangelo O'Donnell, High School

     (mud flapping, ornery hearing,
     and quid juicing Ska Welch ching)
     music teacher oompah crass
tone deaf when aye trumpeted desire

     to master the Coronet
analogous to pursing lips
     blowing tightly held grass
blade between two abetted,

     cinched fastened opposable thumbs,
which tooting a supposed aural aphrodisiac
     to attract a zaftig well proportioned lass
     (ideally shaped like a miniature Tuba)

with one steel funnel like mouthy mass
that probably explains, how such a gal
     could easily emulate
     ****** pucker earning pass

to illustrious honorable first chair
and blasts gratitude akin
     as Gabriel would declare
heavenly expressions conducting

     angels thru atmospheric ether
alighting on mortal ushering melody
     with rites of harkening
     springtime Renaissance Faire

solar rays golden raiment
     splays rainbow fragments off
     beveled, bellowed, and
     bedecked polished flare

audiological sound waves trick
     saw toothed reflected
     silhouetted orchestral shadows
to dance as conductor's baton gear
musicians horns ensemble
     epochal feast to hear.

Slab Of Flab Protrudes From Ab
twas an incremental subtle expansion of waist
most likely aside effects of one
or all prescription medication
to stave off severe melancholy,

social anxiety, panic attack, et cetera
whereby most everything thy tongue did taste
immediately delivered a randy paunch
to former washboard
smooth as a fresh application of gesso like paste
readying canvass
for partially naked self-portrait masterpiece
depicting naked body laced

with flat as a washboard physique
unlike present dis graced
whereat when sending a photograph
of shirtless self-try with futility
utilizing photoshop to get erased
displeasing equatorial zone of anatomy
saddled with unwanted
fatty tissue that defaced

proportionate rock hard stomach
with a slender man
about five foot and ten-inch build
evincing an aura of being chaste

gone forever analogous to temptation
gobbling house constructed
of cake and confectionery
that nearly did likewise to Hansel and Gretel
readying their not quite plump enough bodies

tubby slathered with baste
yet just in the nick of time
the two abandoned children aced
the sinister plot outwitting
cannibalistic cackling croaking old woman
inducing to break out into song singing

Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat
Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat
A doray-oh, A doray-boomday-oh
A doray-boomday ret set set
Ah say pah say oh.

the upshot constituted a figurative straw
     that broke the virtual camels back
where yours truly fingered as scape goat,
     who meekly, passively, and subserviently
     felt the stinging crack
of wooden, smooth,
     and oblong paddle and stands pat,

     asper innocence, though now
     (myself more than two score years
     orbitz around sun) remains more defiant
     for purportedly causing Roberta -

not her real name flack
and clears that blot (now a composite
     of petrified spitballs) as a hack
writer of poetry, feels jilted like Jack

donning many major protagonistic ruffian knack
nursery rhyme roles, which fables never didst lack
for upstart precocious, kickstarters impish grin,
     as if he just wolfed down a swiped Bic Mac

and goose that laid more than one golden egg
McMuffin running from the Giant,
     with spindle shank for each leg,
and sliding down the beanstalk, which didst peg
world wide web Marathon record
     suddenly the envy of Queequeg,

which way word ness
     far off course from the theme of this work,
hence hold tight
     to hazmat bag of **** pin jay dreck,
     while poetic license allows me to twerk

intended story aye (captain...
     oh captain) moost not shirk,
lemme reel yar attention
     back to the classroom of missus Labosh,

     hood didst whistle and perk
unbeknownst to me, my scrawny derriere
     unaware what quaint, hence danger didst lurk
for letting passivity
     find me singled out as the bona fide ****

wishing Moby **** could swallow
     hook, line and sinker
     with a slight even Steven crane
of his neck, every mother plucking bird brain classmate
     deemed Scott free, and Chutzpah didst gain

while this smart *** wannabe took a crash course,
     sans weltanschauung "Artful Dodging
     Spitball Shooting Maven" in the main
quite heavy on Physics and Trigonometry as became plane.

Nationwide Insurance twas on my side yay
cuz, earlier this July forth
     two thousand eighteen ja way
windows closed, doors locked, and

     car keys visibly splayed
     on driver seat oye vay
feel free to call me a horse's *** today
utter anxiety compounded,

     plus unable to locate master key,
     thence fodder for poem and more to say
rifling thru boxes without success,
     an impulse arose to call road

     upon learning policy
     doth include locksmith service,
     ah felt less doggone snappish,
     and uttered hoo ray

though modest aye,
     congratulated awesome,
     fulsome, and handsome
     self on quick thinking,

and automatically became less tiresome
     pondering for no particular rhyme nor reason
     (as a getaway) Panama or Paraguay
then immediate decided,

     sans ditto explanation,
     but no how and nay
yet honest to dog suddenly felt
     like a young lovestruck lad

     during month of May
and without further delay
a compulsion arose
to putter along, though

     momentarily gazing heavenward
     and counting (just beak caws)
     glistening black crows
plus painfully aware

     a spike in recurrent
     "senior" moment of forgetfulness grows,
thus starkly aware significant rustiness
     increasingly, frightfully,

     and chokingly coats
     lix spit tillage harrows
resuming schlepping dishabille
     crotchety bedeviled aching

     body electric irksome
with fringe benefit (such as
     momentary lapse of reason)
     quite aware mettlesome

ness of youth nonrefundable,
     non-reliable, and non-retrievable,
     and guaranteed continued
     pricking, viz nettlesome

degenerating aging telomeres,
     sensate perspicuity, and oxysomes
leaving a once robust person some
what discombobulated
     and easily toilsome.

The new 950-ton bridge would beat
down time dashing to classes cheat
ting vulnerability asper thick traffic 
     putting life at risk, 
     thus laudatory alternative
 
     intending to offer Sweetwater 
     to last a lifetime would make fleet
(installed at Florida International University, 
     with eager pedestrians ready to greet 
crossing grand opening, 
     where local dignitaries didst meet 
     viz Miami-Dade County 
     Saturday (March eleventh 2018) 
witnessing ghastly collapsed 
     Thursday (March fifteenth 2018) 
afternoon onto Southwest Eighth Street. 

An unknown number 
     of fatalities surmised, 
while several others 
     were hospitalized. 

Prior to groundbreaking 
     with placement guised
of the attendant pomp 
     and circumstances exercised
setting cornerstone, 
     the projected 
     general estimation apprised

sans building costs totaled $14.2 million 
and funded as part of a $19.4 million grant 
from the US Department of Transportation. 

The fact sheet boasted the sheer intensity 
comparable to withstand strength of a 
category 5 hurricane, and supposed to last 
for more than 100 years. 

Within the blink of an eye, no ifs ands, 
nor abutments squared with ratiocination 
earning civil engineers bragging rights, 
which boastful, delightful, fanciful stead
fastness touted thwarting titanic tenable 
taxing shock waves. 

Now only a scattered pile (formerly comp
rising beams footings, and piers) of rein
forced concrete capped with a bent ele
ment defying hallelujahs, karaoke kudos,
and bobble headed nods,

now impish jinns keep leering, mocking,
and naysaying to fading echoing reverberations
leveled at the laughingstock of an architectural
(duff) feat. Further scrutiny will attempt to cap

chore structural weaknesses. Amidst snapped,
crackled, and popped strewn cables entwined girders
(whose premature destruction) will also warrant
any arresting tell tale signs of unusual stress.

A written account (that incorporates some
self directed hyperbole) of this veritable stranger
now appears before your screen. Soon
after reading this message, the neighbors

might discern a blood curdling series
of (hyena-like) shrieking screams.
No worry. That would be the mating call
of the hairy Harris mama bear.

Ready! Set! Click!

A scary reflection greets me whenever
I summon up enough steely courage to take
a sneak peek into the mirror. Before
spider lines start to appear across the
shiny surface and subsequent cracks

and fissures dissolve the glassy surface
these deux hazel colored, myopic be
spectacled eyes quickly absorb a most
frightful countenance and visage.

That near legendary and trademark feature
of longish, wavy and brown straggly hair
seems to fill the entire view. Hidden among
avant garde rhapsodic bohemian, Cro-Magnon,
Neolithic, non-every-man style of un-styled
non dread full locks (interspersed with silver follicles

indicative of acquired worry fighting off
garden variety prehistoric creature) can be discerned
a brutish, nasty and short proto-human with
high forehead, which allows, enables and provides
more skin surface to bang against wall when frustrated.

My somewhat outsize ears and longish neck
(I swear exist, which contrary to popular myth
never seen by living persons) support this egg shaped
(fried or scrambled some might argue) head.

A mostly flat and hairless chest attests to a regular
regimen of light (self-concocted) chest-pounding routine.
Exercise (as well as meditation) a vital part of my
daily program to deal with the ordinary stresses
of primitive existence. Coffee happens to be the

sotto voce sole vice, which exotic brews provide
helpful jump-start. I sometimes even chump on cup
kept teeth sharp. That unproductive habit came
to a screeching halt after breaking every pearly white.

Now to that locale known as the trumpeting ****
pull stilts skin. Although the unseen forces of biology
and genetics dealt me an itsy bitsy, tiny *****
(which serves as the but for fellow Apes to taunt

and tease) such anatomical feature offers little
value as the worthiness of ****** prowess.
This palm pilot sized gluteus Maximus offers one benefit.

Ease to squeeze into tight spaces without getting stuck.
This tiny ***** accompanied by a vestigial and
teeny-weensy ****** schnitzel of a phallus, which
undersized **** a doodle do doth bulge into

an erectile state within shooting distance of
coveted warm, wet and wooly private world
property of each and every woman.
A pair of skinny (flamingo like) legs (covered in
adequate hair) now completes this general character sketch.

early this year
gentle as calm ocean waters
   gently lapping along a weir
thumb and fore finger
   of right hand would peal back,

   (via diagonally flippant motion
   asper calendar
   representing progression of time)
   gets flipped over to veer
in one direction (linear)

revealing the next month at lightspeed
   vis a vis tempus fugit galloping tear
thy head immediately lost hirsute thickness,
   i starkly share

male or female pattern baldness
    extant along
   Harris genealogical trunk line rare
yet divulging distress
   about limp decreasing strands
   sends shivers along spine,

   gloomy feeling linkedin
   with old fashioned meaning of queer
and perchance tis foolhardy
   as reeding this Samson night issue must ap pear

tis unstoppable inching closer toward
   as mortality gets near
youthful robustness fades
   replaced by senescence mere
   really ambling along tragicomic stream,

   one evinces gargoyles mockingly leer
loosing sleep and kept raggedly awake
   in conjunction dreams fraught
   with frightful haunting monsters jeer
ring sound reverberating hair
splitting decibel jamming cranial gear

aye tell mice elf nothing to fear...
yet maximizing this plight with poem 'ere
Yukon also temporarily part
   blond, brown, gold, et cetera locks mud dear.

(minor correction in the shape of a overlooked
letter "t" after the partial non word "ves.)"

while atop the surface of planet Earth humanity
     all abustle skittering
     to and fro, hither and yon
engaged in self important activity yielding profits,

     sans blood, sweat and tears won
full throttle industrial
     manufacturers quaking unstoppably
     only intermittently pausing,

     where managers standing arms akimbo
     asper quizzical looking hue cree ton
megaphone blaring orders to underlings
     so "Boss" tweed can line pockets
     for his/her daughter and/or son
Head Honcho most aggrieved,
     when red ink doth run

undermining the bottom line,
     thus farming out labor to distant places
     (where wages amount to pennies on the dollar)
     locals such as Lake Woebegone, Qum, Timbuktu,
     et cetera where pun
gnashing working conditions tantamount
     to slave labor,

     yet scare other options open
hence able bodied men,
     women and children scramble,
     despite back breaking grueling physically
     exhausting grunt job accepting second to none

with nary any rest for weary
     long as workweek includes a mon
day, where bloodied bare hands claw
     purported Mother lode with feigned frenzied zest
enterprise bolstered via executive bank ministers
     financing lucrative scheme

     attended to by majordomo
     attired in expensive vest
corporate investment project elicits
     quaffing, imbibing, and chugging elixir

     produced from heavily guarded recipe
     qua electric kool aid acid test
where coeval business men/women rest
assured bonanza forecast upon

     former green acres hiding treasured quest
marginally concerned such nettlesome
     pillaging, ravaging, torturing ranks
     wealth driven vanity as deleterious pest

shortsighted exploitation money making embarkation
     glorified as investment nsync to feather nest
retirement funds despite leaving the environment messed
up, whereby future generations saddled with

     poorly bandaging gentrifying, resuscitating
     gaping wounds upon Gaia at best
shortening quality of life
     for all (poetry) Earthlings aye attest.

as origin of **** Sapien species surged ahead,
harboring nascent predominance
   asper said primate reproductively bred
(albeit via incremental fits and starts)
   evolutionary forebears didst dread

   lock, stock and barrel arboreal cred
whence, (since time immemorial) nasty, short
   brutish, loutish, and vampish anthropological,
genealogical, and millennial report
   card found forebears

   precariously position quart
toured place de resistance purport
   head supremacy devastatingly,
   heavily, and literally bruited nearly abort
ting tentative tenacious status oft times

challenged minuscule leading edge
proto humans rendered perch
   (on evolutionary leading cusp) fund hedge
ching hypothetical bets said simians

   nearly toppled off figurative privy ledge
against being easily uprooted
   akin to one weeding out unwanted sedge
imposing fledgling breakfast of champions
   clinging to niched wedge

while serial incessant challenges nearly wrote
off and snuffed out, extinct et cetera
   clinched placed viz *** him tote
often at fateful loggerheads,
   where survival of the fittest  smote
poised dawn of dusky mankind

   viz apish creatures almost got rote
   off while chance dominance, eminence grise
   pitted, spitted, and got vetted sans un quote
   able primal screaming expletives
pitted Neanderthal progenitors note

worthy kickstarter scrum
   ump hired held dim promise,
   whether weathered brood,
which smattering population comprised
   a scattered handful of rudimentary

   destined to become
   some ascribe God's sigh propitiated
   contemporary lass hit dude
whence, amidst looming pointed danger
   confronted Geico caveman,

   and aside from external
   threatening depredations
   comprised tribal family feud
where might versus right
   the deterministic factor aye include

at undoubtedly animalistic behavior
   defied being categorized as lewd
since each monkey's uncle
   punctuated equilibrium with cut throat

   i.e. Maciavellian imprimatur
   fate didst not occlude
attested via rotogravure fledgling artistic shewed
also absence of consciousness rued

until...fast four words
   (count them) - to the present system of a down day
when carnal, feral, and integral leanings attempted
   to rope hormonal, gonadal, and banal found
   more recent ancestors (discovered
   visa vis like 23andme)

   on a greenday rolled in the hay
under natural predilection to lay
naked, especially frisky comb early May
procreative force
   engendered the writer of this poem,
   when his parents coaxed fore play

unbeknownst, that their singular heir,
   would be afflicted with countless
   mental ollie ollie oxen stinging ray
obsessive compulsive mailer to slay
ritualistic controlling psychic threnody
dominated favored holistic paradigm oye vay.

While meditating earlier today,
a flashback leapt
     clear for me to assay,
those ever receding

     early boyhood daze,
     now subsumed within fifty,
plus nine shades of gray
blissfully innocent naivety,

     (though blessed) no way
would, aye desire to turn back
     the hands of father time (hypothetically),
     where unstructured play

regularly with older sister
     (thirteen plus months
     my senior) predominantly
     slicing, sliding, and slipping

     stockinged feet skittering
     across slippery basement floor,
     this then soul full
     skinny thing bellowed hooray.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"I'm Matty Mattel; I got hurt;
     Can you go out?"
Those words uttered
     by the very first

     pull-string talking doll
     Mattel did tout
circa nineteen sixty
     revolutionizing the birth

     of quasi simulated (lifelike) toys,
     and made of common
     materials found scout
ting around the house simply comprising

     hard vinyl (i.e. pseudo
     plaster of Paris) head he did flout
     with remaining body
     stuffed with padding,

     a definite no
     no (chew toy) when Fido about.
Actually that pooch,
     would be Georgie to you,

     (a hybrid Boxer Dalmatian)
     with docked tail
my young parents acquired,
     when as a newborn,

     aye did inconsolably wail
though recollection of such memory
     fifty nine years ago tis of no avail
yet, a resumption of meditation,

     sans lightness of being
     (analogous trancelike state),
     that doth prevail
replaying silent film preceding,

     when psyche seem so frail
plummeting into emotional abyss
     the nadir i.e. anorexia nervosa
pleading return to nostalgic boyhood
     decrying change hide didst bewail!

fast as a blitzen comet,
     this dashing prancer
     contra dancer
     (i.e. Rudolph nary hoof) didst zip

with cupid ditty toward his ***** wife,
     who loosed a suppressed yip
asper one discovering remains of the day
     from the donner

     (newt the majority) party whip
ping her olive drab camouflage attire,
     as if she hapt to be a vip
endlessly congratulating herself

     (and bow wowing her ego) bing awarded
     the housekeeping seal of approval,
     and expected me to tip
her gore gee us Martha Stewart déclassé

     snoop doggy dog rendition
     as she did slip
agilely (with broom and dustpan in hand) rip
peat head lee uttering

     an apropos Mary Poppins quip
booting muck can clear across to Compton
     (wherever that might be) pip
pin like a cat on a hot tin roof,
     where no cure existed to nip

in the bud at this stage,
     and rid thine beloved Narberth bride,
who caught a bout clean destine
     feverish frenzy to make house beautiful,

     oblivious to beseeching despair,
     sans this husband who cried
plaintively imploring divine intervention,
     lest extreme heroic measures

     need be taken, thus guide
me asap before her blistered hands
     rubbed red as tender (vittles) raw hide,
     which could find her catatonic, doggone

     ill eagle lee flying a boot
     like a bat out of hell, and stupefied
hence, this urgent message typed out in a huff
     for less severe invasive

     experimental treatment truly tried
on this, that, or some other missus so and so
     .....please pardon this abrupt end,
     plus initial idea wide

lee differing from my initial intent won
during how to write an elegy to mister son
describing, how aye felt enervated with run
hills of beaming solar rays, oh how none

synthetic drug to bathe,
     enhance, suffuse away mon
day moody blues,
     and now...gotta tend tummy ***!

FROM WHITE HOUSE

I ham aghast at increasing banality, deviltry, ferocity,

   imbecility, liability, obscenity, rapacity, ugly

   offal popularity witnessed by Donald trump

hence aye aerate thoughts,

   how *** a nine his banal, demoniacal,

   egomaniacal, fanatical, guttural, and hurtful


   culling frightening insight, where portentous more deadly than

   sport ugh guise Man 'o War debacle

   doth crowdsource, flickr, and indeed long foster

   my plenti full over active imagination


   to induce writhing expressions of fearfulness

   proportionate burst of haughtiness) while he doth stump

would animate mine rear i.e. rather noxious flatulence

   expelled from outward doppelganger of ****

pull stilts skin cuz this chap haint Noah fan, but wood vouchsafe

   tub be a jimmy neutron n sponge bob squarepants


   Ark n saw wing enemy against da dull don dat pumps

swaggering bravado with fist swelling ego

  analogous to his body infected with severe case of mumps

that brazen denizen hurling and spewing volcanic fiery spittle


   with incense against others – to him mere lumps

of protoplasm heckled as inferior to himself

  boasts as proof of favoritism, that enervating, fawning,

   gabbling feverish arrogant mania for him jumps

higher than expected,


   while he commits faux paws which bumps

his ratings higher, he gleefully endorses

  pandemonium toward gloating gump

  shun from the uproarious. querulous

  and populous madding crowd!


throughout launch of his campaign,

  banally, devilishly, and fiendishly

   character assassinating those opposed to his views -

inducing me to harrumph and dump faith

   in humanity, wondering what ruse

smart democratic pol mongers can conjure up


  while pacing in soft shoes  

woeful sentiments sans his attempt did render

  competitors to drop out in ones n twos

whom he purportedly considers apostates,

   and heathens cons heed Make America Great use

all manner of bullying (determination whose occipital pupils

coalescing into searing grape nut size wrath poisonous daggers)

   forcibly silencing any jeers

when necessary plagiarizing neo **** play book with a "who cares"


attitude closing in on pinteresting

  for United Stated chess board foursquare,

which deliberate intent to foment n wrought prostrate -

music to those hoteliers billion dollar ears


   sans defeated apprenticing contestants hearing sobbing tears

with vitriolic violent bilious inducing jabs of his a will full spears

   reputations of personalities (men and women politicians

  his especial flavor of scathing, scandalous, scabrous sordidness


   spewed squeamishly to grab by the figurative crotch

   the hello kitty 2016 presidential election),

   whether liberal, conservative, heterosexual or queers

thus this middle-aged mwm abject psychic fractal shears!


the following poetic addendum composed way buff fore

(in my mind) atrocious, cretaceous, enormous, ferocious,

garrulous, hellacious, indecorous, malicious nemesis,

pernicious, querulous, rapacious, specious, tedious,

unrighteous, vicious, dangerous demon

must BE STOPPED IN HIS TRACKS ASAP!


DONALD TRUMP – RE: DUCKS --

this portion dashed off (while dry ving an open white hearse slay

so many months back before sale him slotted the most coveted

Casino biggest win - before the political imbroglio

   much more upsetting than today


Axe the old don

A trump peter n piper of incredulous hellish crud - be gone

With the ha air brushed pompous ****

  so Macy jackal hound doth run

After public outcry yelps for his hide and proletarian discord won!


Donald Duck Trump ™$ - a pompous ***

makes war with his big brass

knuckles and bucket of crass

maligns vis a vis character assassination with bro kin glass

inciting banal deathly hallowed expletives toward lass

sees – especially Fox Television

   news anchor woman Megyn Kelly


   inducing said personality to bear grizzly brunt of brutish mass

of vitriolic n vile insults from incriminating verbal pass  

   so…ex post facto viz mine NO VOTE from me

   thus this digital screed to disallow him

   to accept the oath of office, cuz he will hurrahs  

   from such a snooty arrogant simian with sass!


I van a try to describe while sitting on me ****

How he oh bomb in lee rages with gnashing teeth

  while back a slump

Blasting Democratic nomination as a sham –

  From special interest bro and sis turn pump


He, the epitomy of crass bloviation, a malignant lump

Whose rants sans presidential sham rocked outcome

   lets him trounce, pounce, denounce

   liberal Democratic stalwart efforts bolstering middle class

   to blitz total mortal kombat like a rabid red bull

   in a China shop with his millions beds this,


  That and another woman to ******* jump

Disseminating gene pool – Obama null lee birthing

   more quackery and additionally doth ****

The mass media as some foolhardy charade


   characterizes abominable (MORE FRIGHTFUL THAN YETI):

   culpable, deplorable, execrable,

   et cetera of a frazzled grump, This arboreal clothed ape

   Erecting Taj Mahal ******* symbol where players dump

And gamble away hard earn cash


   For his hello kitty, as if cachet to grind and bump

Lambasting with that maniacal leering pout

   while hair *** runs rampant with red bulls

   In a China shop atop his bulbous

   aerosol sprayed heady measly shaped


  ulterior motive aimed his sights to become Pastor of Muppets

  Dis eased cranial hologram

   Of cretaceous, facetious and insidious mump!


By: Baron von Ivan Mal N. Ya.

A rhetorical question finds me ask
king (to no one in particular) why I bask
with recollection the names of blank
exclamatory staid grade school crank

key teachers approximately
     42,0480,000 breaths aye drank
fifty years ago (most whose names frank
lee listed below),

     when the need to access
and retrieve
     immediate necessary information
     analogously interleaved

     among coaxial bracts
during examinations relegated
     as hopelessly lost
     into interstitial invisible cranial cracks

irretrievably buried
     during examinations, which age
(feels like a million years ago)
     often found me seized and caged
with sudden inability to remember

     any vital answers as gauged
evidenced by nothing writ
ten on paper (even including my name),
     thus loosely similar as aye sit
to compose poetry,
     and/or prose tempted to quit

asper defeated by resignation,
     and sinking sensation in the pit
of my stomach (more so regarding orbit
ting like an unsound garden  

     black hole son around cold (mit
ten necessary) awful days grudgingly
     handing over like a lit
till insignificant being,
     a test paper devoid of academic grit

analogously surrendering
     (while feeling fit
tubby tied, sense internally emit
ting abnegation sans chafing at the bit,

yet no sooner did buzzer indicated test
time over, then (of course),
     an instantaneous pest
that blocked chunk dramatically
     flowered gloriously invoking nest

head treasured mother lode
     of learned information invest
ment accounting for principle ball lanced
     formerly figuratively barricaded facts
     suddenly at my behest

ironically retaining to this day
dogged details amazingly,
     now gracing lix spittle fist size gray
dictating academic failure

     forcing laying down pen hay
for ma forgotten requisite thoughts may
king skepticism about self thrive, ray
zing mailer demons impossible to slay,

when into scaly claws, sans first
to sixth grade Precambrian relic
(Missus Batson, Missus Rittenhouse,
Missus Wells, Mister Stout, Missus Shaner,
or Miss Rinderle).

Invariably the majority
     of elementary grades didst accord
accredited ancient authenticated creatures bored
(with exception of sixth)

     freely exercised diabolical chord
churlish ******* animalistic
     zealous yakking, wickedly,
     aye (a basket case) deplored

unprintable (epithets) this then
     (unprincipled urchin) puny pupil felt lord
did over whacked, sans receiving end,
     viz fiendishly gruesome
     hellish instructions mean teacher scored.

Assignments buttressed with ultimatums
harkening back to Jurassic period earlier
in the dawning primate consciousness.

Lesson material kindled justifiable license
in league garnered insignia heft brought pupils
to heal predicated, via warped weft woven
wonderfully wrought writs welcomed whips
with warranty whenever recalcitrant ruffian
refused respecting reptilian rubric representative
saber rattling, where...

(The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver
of the ***** and Whipping Cords Will
Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do),
which loosely rendered regularly warbled

wishy washy verse curmudgeons freedom
granted to interpret as one decrepit, hawkish
insignia certified one beaming Eve and/or
stud deed brute soffit.

Education often relied on the weekly reader,
and letters to or from Aunt Emma to this Jack,
oh napeswho never wrote back
sheesh, alas and alack.

Nefarious mean linkedin kickstarter jawboning
torturous treatment tolerated, asper imps
of pervert, mutant Ninja Turtles duty bound
antsy youthful yokel yodelers weathering ululating
sing-song quintessential precepts.

adieu:
math a hew
scott harris a gentile Jew
all ways felt like new
kid on the block isolated

     in his hermetically sealed queue
pay perm ash shay watched per view
whew
at last in conk clew shun to you
from one primate within the human zoo.

this got written x years ago
behoves this update version of a bozo
christened sans parents
   playing eeny meeny miny moe,

yet upon tiring of game with a no
   nonsense attitude
   eventually decided on Not Nada Poe
Whit - Walt har vee gong to call So and So?

Now, you probably wonder and ask
yarself y am.i. On a wishy washy
web site - far tis to bask
in offline and/or online friendship

as like quaffing from a flask
with no deliberate intent
   to antagonize nor mask
n e hidden agenda -
   quite a challenging task.

Thus, i turn the question back 2 u,
per what spurred posting/responding too
and might there be interest
with me - n average hue

man male - hoping
   4 an acquaintance brand new
from - this barred bard -
   scot **** matthew.

Dis ***** older buck haint gonna take a byte
so...no need to take fright
i merrily scout cyber seas donning
me virtual webbed whirled wide wet suit to brook

a female friendship countless
   adult oriented web site
such as ashleymadison, badoo, craigslist, elitemate,
plenty of fish tagged twoo,

or other venue left of the political right
and if absolutely positively unquestioningly
without subatomic particle of interest
than please just respond albeit and try to be polite...

good morning, noon, or night
quite
right
to be guarded when an acquaintanceship
   begins out of sight

whereby data bit bump and grind
   thru the information super
   highway somewhat tight
and bring x rated epistles to life that i write.

Ma arch i bald dingbats of fingas clip by
at greased lightening speed
justa friendship this poor fella doth need
an accommodating gal to offer a lead
mien eyes did not purposely heed

nor any greed
from one suppurating marriage
this guy wants to be freed
with no malice this cheap tricking
   super tramping wordsmith
of inxs ac of dc charged cheap tricks
sans done ***** deed.

This impersonator qua sometime bard of yore
admits to his apology
if ye get taken totally abominable
like bar rammy aback

to proposition ye with carnal desires in store
and ideally match deeds ease with these words
towards such strong desire to adore
forsooth that naked realm

to allow the noggin to bore
together in close syncopation like couplet core
and would now gently encourage
his newfound muse

to let me dip me quill in
   iambic pentameter du jour
a wordsmith who shies away
drinking *** or smoking *****.

Now with a zing
i step into the digital xing
via summit da fall low wing
written jest to byte tongue in cheek
yet unsure if zee phone here will ring

or an unexpected gold plated invitation
after the yodeling ding
in an effort to hear that pleasant
yet discordant musical ka -- ching
for cherished pennies,
   nickels, dimes, nickle back
et cetera from heaven to bring.

Twiddling me fir and twenty black bird
shaped like a green thumb
as me schmart simian Semitic ****
gets comfortably numb

after quaffing
   humongous amount of ***
while downing oral rob hurts
   sesame street pudding

made of pureed plum
unlike jack in the corner
   my luck mooch oh more glum
and despite ****** stubble here
and there a stale crumb
this har dabbler in words haint no ***
only a hard knock er skool alum.

from thee one and only almighty
alfred e. neuman king crusty crab crumb son Rodg
er alias scott matthews - whose words
   intended as playful persiflage

if curious to learn more about me
   emanating from cranial lodge
   unless no auto mat tick interest arises -
   whence this reply u can dodge.

now, unlike my usually trenchant literary librettos, I regale the unknown (tum me) reader for savoir-faire articulation, elocution, and indomitable tour de force proffered by a spectrum of bounteous expropriated hegemony rightful to Mother Nature.
--------------------------------------------------------
A Place Revisited Within The Mind
(an illusory escape during dead of winter).
The shafts of a golden veil, spring sun at noon
break through the heavily coated
overgrowth of leafy foliage
and cause shadows spar upon the forest floor.

In a field of wild
a mosaic of crystalline color
from the prismatic play of sunshine
upon the silently talking heads
of the swaying stalks.

the scintillating and sparkling rays
in unison with the weft
(and warp across an invisible loom)
weaves a delicious tasting warm breeze,

(which sways the boughs of treetops to and fro,
akin to an unseen baby being cradled)
brings a ladled spate of cool freshness
from the map-cap world (webbed wide)
of a manmade existence.

The grandeur of the fallow spring meadow
a pageant of exquisite dignity
by the graceful movements
from the un-choreographed fall and rise
of the unplowed acres

eyes orbit, ear re Canal,
and twitching nostrils of sensate beings
to the mellifluous sounds
and sweet smelling aromas
that gently teasingly assault the senses
beguiling the sight,

and lulling ears into a transcendent state.
A buoyant airy tonal plume
rises into the surrounding heights
touches the breadth of cerulean sky
and scythe lent lee gently tumbles back down
like a merry widow waltzing flowery waterfall.

In quiet circumspection
the antics sans plethora of BuzzFeed ding
busily buzzing foraging insects,
which contentedly hum and alight nearby

flitting to and fro
oblivious to plaudits encore
harmoniously thriving
within the living laboratory

of Mother Nature,
sans, Insects or Insecta are by far
count as the largest group of
hexapod invertebrates
within the arthropod phylum,

where simultaneously
underneath the earthen surface
the ground this abustle with
glorious heartthrob
of one micro universe
comprising architects, builders, and weavers
engage in all manner
of natural devices for a livelihood.

This brilliant splendor tantamount
with top-notch operatic performance,
a sensational visual and audiological feast
hypnotizing one humble human (me)
into an inebriated state of bliss.

Hark….the herald angels sing, and twitter
for mass communication mediums stop the presses
when I, a regular schlemiel
take shampoo to mine matted mass mop
of straggly follicles, and commence
to dispense with the heady eco system
viz rare crop of flora and fauna

(some rank as endangered species) rub and band together
to scratch envy of neigh bring ponytails
and create quite an niche, and where also can be found
lousy knit wit vendors ready to scalp
and give shaft to razor sharp purveyors,
who mane lee scout out available head room to nap
without a stir, tub bed down

(praying Holy Scott no wash out nor Harris mint occurs),
or burrow vis a vis, where subcutaneous porous droplet size
water ship down pieces of prime residence found
counting one mister comb lee bald faced realtor
amidst competing rival bulb buss scissor hands
(with knot to heavy a price toupee)

affianced to rapunzel, whom he sheared split ends
as her barber of civil, one dapper dan d ruff dude to offer
lice cent shuss insects a tonsured cut above other stylish habitués
(preferring to fraternize, glad-hand, and hobnob
amidst a cluster of big wigs housed by yours truly - Samson

in gleaming puffy pompadour pads tightly secured
with the best dread locks, which harum-scarum
green barrettes serve as first line of rinse able defense
IdentityGuard (with franchisee
Bob O Link averse to split hairs, but fierce
as a Mohawk and ring leader to protect any curl of mine)
waving away intruders, who if insist tubby persistent
and tangle with fate cannot expect camaraderie
from buzz cutting crew i.e. the fuzz

to give expletive filled lathering,
severe shame poo wing subjugation
plus an up braiding experience), and teach stragglers
they will suffer a real perm in hint bang up job
if they brazenly brush against brylcream of the crop
rooted as rightful heirs (hairs) of tousled doo mane.

chin lightly nested atop
loosely peopled interlaced fingers
supported via multi purpose table
bent arms displayed elbows cocked
  
(approximately gabled
at ninety degree angle),
which pose frequently assumed
when pondering what to write,

an idea spawned when clothed left fingered limb
inadvertently roiled the so called "funny bone"
named because of funny feeling generated
when Ulnar nerve compression

triggers pseudo shock sensation
coursing one direction or another  
traveling from neck down into hand
constricted in several places along the way

such as beneath collarbone
or at wrist
most common place for compression
(hands down)

behind inside part of elbow
medical terminology tagged
"cubital tunnel syndrome."

interestingly enough, this scribe attests
more frequent occurrences along
liberal democratic side
no matter I claim dominant right handedness

and reckon eyes that human body electric
eel silly not perfectly symmetric
also chiming in that such vulnerability
a very minor design flaw
extant within the amazing
**** Sapiens anatomy.

Night and day, a thrashing
     like an invisible whiptail
surge van hail,
doth swell me *****
     excruciatingly, doggedly blackmail
capriciously be-numbingly,
     aggravatingly assail
mine conscience in

     what paltry pale
capacity of this gamboling male,
I can "pay forward,"
     whatever means shale
be moost apropos avail
to offset bewail
ling (internal psyche doth ale
     hankering) against utter

     lifetime (mine) peppered
     with emotional, physical
     and social destitution
     bereft, viz fail
ling to maximize inspiration
     reverberating as vibrant detail
lacking even justa minimum
     desire to live

     (visa vis no way
     discover ring, nope nar even
     "FAKE" king minuscule appeasement
     of my body, mind,
     and spirit triage during)
     hell...shove (shelve) aside
such gloriously noble benighted role,
    amidst upending folktale

re: King Arthur and His Knights
     of the Round Table
     futilely searching for holy grail
where steadfast conviction
     emboldens this heart and hale
spirited mindful,
     sincere hard drive spurs
    (neigh saying horse

     sense of mine)
     where ambition saddled
     to air (dan sing) quailing,
yen propelling (yours truly),
     with sincere humanitarian,
     (i.e. blood driven)
     philanthropic spiritual zeal,
     I tried to unveil,

this reasonably rhyming thumbnail
sketch poetically versatile
within this spurious verse despite
     any trials undermining travail
rather mine heart felt genuine
     motive fueled by impetus
to contribute within e kale
logi, fizzy hollow gee, humanity,

with integrity, magnanimity,
      and quality fervency,
while still adept, adroit,
     agile, and alert,
     (cuz America needs more lerts
     to become great again)
     ironically steel tougher than nails,
     duh pleating ability dovetail
to bug (or wug) gee wholesale.

when on a lark, this primate shut his eyes
   until sight formed slits doubling up as a wink
this earthling stared hard and scrunched brow
   unintentionally mimicking,

   the familiar Auguste Rodin statue
   likened to a pose when one doth think
perhaps said captive pose pondering
   (similar to me) about life on other planets

   while I stared at lunar surface
   akin to a disc or dime sized skating rink
awash with luminescence
   and imaging himself whisked away

   by an alien, synonymous
   to the peculiar millions miles distant pastische
   manifested entity than didst slink
a non hue man feline looking cat in the hat

   comical creatures decked out entirely in pink
soft halos conjured up saintly mink
or...a far fetched thought suddenly
   came to form in my mind,

   that this har creature a found missing link
whose nocturnal glowing facade exploding charade
   possibly a message
   or motion nothing more

   than routine smoothing out an anatomical kink
on front and back oh head resembling
   a Doctor Zeus characterization,
   viz a harmless rat fink

hm...maybe a vestigial progenitor
   of former birth by Gaia now extinct
though from afar, the b52 shaped being
   aye espied as fur ball affixed

   with a long elephant like snout to drink
and appeared to lack occipital orbs,
page number two:  

   yet evinced possible mode to see via a *****
impossible to restrain me noggin
   appearing to nod and blink,
--------------------------------
hence entranced my attention fixed
   from faint (perhaps a feint)
   flickr ring meant as playful faux
   role playing lunatic humorous acting wry

impossible to decode explicit antics
   (of spacial cosmic guest),
   no matter eyes nearly shut tight visual
   wondering if non verbal communication

   of mine correctly interpreted
   meant to kibitz and vie
despite impossibility to validate,
   a continuous effort yours truly did try

fixing thy gaze nee straining
   with alm aye might to esse spy
if cheap trick concocted entire visage,
   which might not constitute life form

   (admitting this chap to prevaricate,
   and be full of baloney),
   himself prone to confabulate
   (dropped one to many times on the head)
   when this rocky lunar image,
   a moon scape comprising nothing
   boot ham and cheese on rye.

that will neither revolutionize whorled wide web,
   nor pollinate like fecund human loam
viz - it mine neurological nuances here
   within Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,

   my present home,
town pulsating with
   so called "butterfly effect" ineluctably
fluttering microscopically
   like dust motes or invisible foam

(bell leave me) metamorphosed
   mental whim, within cranial dome
(in valise case body electric)
   covered in 50 + nine slim shades
   of gray streaked brown dread fully medium
   length lockets i rarely comb,

   boot food for thought to set literary stage
before affixing my poetic missive -
   from this word wrangler,
   hoof hinds himself dumbfounded

   at **** bang of years cuz - just yesterday
   aye remembered being a boy,
   now i yam more than
   half a century since birth didst age.

without further ado
i offer literary missives enclosed
   within this body politic spooked
   me playful teenage inner child goes "boo"
fur ye to ponder and brew

of his small bread box sized lil motley crue
two daughters due
tee flapped wings, and flew the coop
whereby aye resemble offspring hybrid
   ostrich crossed with an emu,

whose deux progeny sired from personal
   super reproductive goo
swimming swiftly in
   harried styled, swiftly taylor made
   viscous tailored tulle lord hue

carrying miniature bin - laden
   genetic heritage predominantly Jew
wish with one late uncle Sam,
   who preferred to be called cra debt lou
who himself happened to be,

   a milch cow frequent moo
wing for bare naked lady gaga friend
   winnie mandy della pooh,
which induced inxs doth rue
what comprises Darwinian

   Origin of Species to be true
evolutionary biologists versus
   Bible thumping creationists claim
   with tangible proof as their view
perchance includes you
this chimp bull leaves humans
   originated from primate zoo.

NOW **** THE MOMENT TO PREPARE TO SCRUTINIZE
MY WRITTEN ATTEMPT AND HOPE MY OFFERTORY
DISTINCT FROM OTHER GALS N GUYS.

thankful to enjoy genesis of thoughts
from whence doth spring germ
of an idea, that either takes root
(exhibiting potential to live with
arms strong) when just a tender

vulnerable shoot (ephemeral as notes
issuing from a magic flute)
within fifty plus shades of gray matter
per this fifty plus year ole coot?

This need dull in haste tack
search for source that gave rise
per process to enable **** sapiens
to think doth nag horse sense
of this poet as he initially digs shallow,

yet sometimes forced to spelunk
into crawl space narrow and shallow,
or shine laser focus into a chasm
teetering on brink (hunting down

gamesome elusive dodging catlike whims)
out pace readied whorled wide net
to capture alive agile rat fink unseen
quiet as a mouse notion gives hardy fellow
(quite a chase) scurrying thru micro
cosmic burrow of Manhattan skyscrapers

at a blink, said quarry vanishes
without a trace just as quick mental cogs
and wheels generated riveting link
connecting bot sized tinker toys pinging

within cerebral cortex appearing random
as nonsequiturs conscious kinks via
distracting ability to latch onto awesome
fleeting mindspace inducing minor frustration
at lack of ability to nab (albeit painlessly)

zinc shimmering insight cognizant ability
likened to ode to Grecian urn vase frieze
depicting ever closely captured thought
process, cuz lifespan shorter than a wink
king third eye blind comfortably numb beatle browser.

Kate ***** and Anthony Bourdain
both beloved affluential cognoscenti,
     (took their life via cerebral hypoxia)
     neither death can one explain

left family and friends to speculate
     without lapsing into speculation
     impossible knot
     to veer off toward inane,

where fame nor fortune no immunity
     against unbeknownst
     deathly accursed mental illness
     impact their adherents

     plus affect large swath
     of population in the main
cuz, (strictly my opinion)
     the tightly woven

     world wide web doth plain
lee meld humanity linkedin
     by avast societal reign
forcing the global community to train

energies toward heightened
     awareness (yes in vain)
for those who tightened noose around neck
     as grief doth wax and wane

no doubt less prominant persons
     amidst every walk
of life give admittance
     to grim reaper, who doth stalk

every mortal being tempting surrender soul
     for eternal peace, where soul asylum
     sacrifice forsaken to black hawk
swooping down soundlessly

     to ****** priceless human life
     subsequently, whence
     benumbed onlookers gawk
aware how precarious, riotous, and tenuous
     the psyche offers no resistance,
     nor doth balk

at absent awareness,
     how collective adoration wears
a funereally ghostly, horribly immensely
     joylessly knitted veil

eludes measurement, though nonetheless
     unanimity that far reaching sadness
     weighs heavy on tear filled side of scale
witnessed by grievous next of kin,

     who struggle to accept severe de rail
ment of unsuspecting hidden agony im pail
ling corporeal flesh gouging body electric
     on par with a nine inch nail

jaggedly renting asunder (an unseen male
strum) pitching one incognito,
     no matter she/he appears hearty and hale
leaving a wake of inconsolable paroxysms
     causing thee human league to ail!

(witch role an unavoidable mandatory phase)
that nowadays breaks the piggybank
   like a dropped fragile vase
you most likely nod assent if offspring  grown,

   or ponder new found challenge
   expectant motherhood costs of progeny
   take the following precendent all ways.

deux daughter desiduous teeth comprise
   sum total of forty milky pearl white
whereat each healthy tooth
   a miraculous bite size bit
   of jaw dropping wizardry to in vite
a tasty morsel to get chewed,

   until at some arbitrary time
   (incumbent on each individual biological clock),
   the second set thwart aside
   (or sometime literally override)
   these baby choppers right
fully as sought after treatures for the tooth fairy

   (oft time disguised as part  
   of canine corp) offer sterling sight
but fascinating as each replicated, punctuated,
   lacteal dentition adorned with a pulp,
   dentin, enamel, and cementum quite
a complex miniature edifice,

   or a more apropos metaphor fielding sprite
   would be a picket fence with important slats,
   and thus a challenging plight
arises when a child shows their mother or father
   gapped smile, and understands
   to place tooth under pillow at night

when quiet as a mouse (who to be honest
   create scratching sounds) the might
tee tooth fairy doth descend (nowadays
   resort to global positioning
   satelline application)
   to find their way without turning on the light

soundless and still as a dust mote
   feign being a knight
less to rescue a damsel, maybe
   one baby step ahead of her/his insight
expecting to disover a modest *** of cash,
   if stood on end, rather sizable in height

and essentially necessitating po' papa
   to take out a loan, or hope flight
   of fancy wish to win the lottery, which would exite
   self or spouse, but reality in league  
   with fickle finger of fate doth disappoint and delight
son or daughter boasting to classmates,

   how the rich tooth fairy (iz actually a faux pas
   sham shaman, dirt poor father, bled dry,
   whose coutenance (visible after break of day)
   reflects that of one who barely survived a catfight
with finances in tatters as if
   one money hungry toothless fairy took a bite.

Case in point comprises emotional state of euphoria
would deafeningly, definitely, deliciously get
frenziedly expelled from stadium. Roe ting for
“our boys” packing every last seat in the bleachers
all manner of humankind would (during lulls)

Instagram, Kindle, Messenger, Outlook, Quicken,
Snapchat, Twitter. Santander, Verizon,Wells Fargo
might be sponsors for major competitive challenge.
Zero tolerance imposes winning at all costs versus
grievous miserable rapacious violent yawping

linkedin loss outcome of sporting events. Under
stand able home team owns an advantage (true
for rival players on their turf) predicated on avid
loyal fans boosting morale from family members,

friends, neighbors, et cetera. The ear splitting
roaring cheering hoopla emanating from spectators
(housed in relatively close proximity to handsomely
paid putting Pontius Pilate and bad *** Brutus brutes

rolled into one mean human fighting machine.
This previous comment meant as an honorable
kickstarter, hyperbolic endearment. My humblest apology
if said statement misinterpreted as a NON off fence sieve

strong moderate slight against any creed, race, religion,
et cetera. I merely sought an analogously effective
impact asper these hypothetical Popeye muscle
bulging arms length professional athletes plush residences

lodged in general metropolitan area to rubber baby
buggy bumper screaming banshee spectators. A
winning score affiliated with bruising, cutthroat,
dynamo...fierce-some giant, heaving, indomitably

jinxed, “killer” macho no nonsense, outlandish packed
quintessentially robust searing troopers translates
into utter screaming, quaking outrageous merciless
krazy individuals generating ecstatic cacophony
airing zeal! If (dog forbid) the richly paid, namebrand
looming kneecapped kneeling illustrious giant egghead
con cussed career athletes fumble, crumble and bumble

spelling a loss for those spectators (who doled out
a *** of cash) quickly make collective disappointment
known by cursing, first in ****, odiously reprehensible,
unacceptable wimpy yikyaking atrocious carpetbombing
expletives. As a casual observer (albeit also participant
within the human league of billions within the culture
club sans crowded house), no shortage of opportunities

avail themselves to scrutinize the man knee ting man
contention upon this oblate spheroid (densely populated
globular planet), these myopic brown eyes of mine need
not pay per view to witness austerity, depravity, gravity,

et cetera manifold gamut of Primate (particularly ****
Sapien) behavior. Raucous, querulous, perilous, obnoxious,
notorious...actions prompt me to intervene as referee.
I would fear for my life if one to many excessive acts
of kindness would require specialists to scrape my pan
caked body electric off the sidewalk. A similar outcome

would most likely transpire if this totally tubular troubadour
disgust religion. As a tried and true value adherent of atheism,
a vociferous, rapacious, nefarious, *******, fractious Bible
thumping religious dogmatic character would expend every
last ounce of fire and brimstone to proselytize me. Thus

when infrequently conversing about one or the other
aforementioned verboten topics de jure, I consciously
exhibit genuine indifference keeping mum. Obvious
quietness sidesteps ugly wickedness.

Your anonymous, curious, erroneous garrulous, hip poe
***** mass stir wordsmith Matthew Scott Harris

Emotional guillotine clefts
     irredeemable psychological umbilical accord
witnessing heart breaking,
     woe-begotten inhumane rip cord
gut wrenching shuffle board

     (indiscriminately sporting)
     most punishing option explored
involving upwards of 2,000
     immigrant children forced to ford
predatory invested foreign territory

     south of Rio Grande potentially gored
if not *****, enslaved, via gang lion, viz
     nefarious smoking bandits gloating
     with anticipatory glee - hoard
ding young boys and girls

     sacrificial hideous torture
     mocking land of free and home
     of bravely ejected innocent
     nubile terrorized angels,
     where horrific, pedafilic traumatic plight

     unwelcomely visited upon
     naively overly trusting
     precocious youngsters ignored
fiendishly, and diabolically,
     where kids injured

malevolently, punitively,
     and violently inured
at the ****** hands of many
     a self proclaimed war lord,
which hypothetically,

     presumably blithely of once safely
     (albeit tenuously) moored
then cruelly wrenched where mill let tarry
     uber brutes ill league hull
     tender babes asper incident

     uprooting tooth and nail on floss
inconsolable sorrow upon fractured families
     (live re: worse, now imagine
     if you will gasoline poured
over naked peach fuzz flesh

     aye envision engulfed forked sinister flames
     purposelessly immolated how screams
     dark shadows within outer limits
     of AmeriKa twilight zone roared

renting asunder travesty
     treachery and trinity
     in God We Trust smugly ******* toward
page from fascist playbook
     "Stasi in **** Ward,"

where atrocities censored
     like Black Sabbath despite
     freedom of speech reprehensible witch
hunt scenarios over span
     six weeks bedlam
     decorated epaulette
     glorified hoodlums twitch
with numbskulls
     while defrauding, deflecting,
     and defiling,

     defenseless as deer lambs switch
ching the other cheek as smug snitch
like scattering rats
     Department of
     Homeland Security officials
administration’s enforce
     new “zero tolerance” policy
toward illegal border-crossing,

     nonetheless bend rules
     they busily play
     an extra round of Quidditch)
feigning obliviousness perfect suckling

     nursing, and mewing infants
     forcibly experienced nirvana unplugged,
whereat strong arm eminent
     marshalled tuckered law tugged
maternal instinct doubling down,
     sans cradling tender infant snugged.

George Washington and Abraham Lincoln
   mythologized commanders in chief
 epitomized supreme martial mien
   and vocalized special flair
talents summoned    

   from their native heart-land motif
 in Modus Operandi of bootstraps dare
acquired evanescent mythic reverence
   extant within bibliographic brief
   and closest role to God like air.

Said first and sixteenth president
   storied figurative bookends
   stood side by side
 honored on anniversary of their birth,

now renown across divers
   places far and wide
 over this one in a million (or billions)
   cosmic entities known as planet Earth

for courage and strength which forged
   that unique American sense and sensibility
   in tandem with prejudice pride
 forthwith esprit de corps touched,

   when above named
   epitomized, , eulogized,
   exemplified strapping youths
   vigorous lifestyle wrought washboard girth
   kindling psyches,

   and lit fires within homes and hearth.
These outsize personas held ephemeral dream
   where fledgling American state
   acquired sterling reputation

   wherein this country
   under aegis of Democracy
   became a winning team.
Among the legends and lore

 surrounding each of these great men 
 their stature grew more and more
 cult like benevolence these paternal figures
 United States can never ignore.

Who decides what historical events adorn
textbooks students read,
     hence a starry notion born
grew up while

     this lumpenproletariat day dreaming,
     Asian aw shucks husky
     husbandry furrowed brow gritty farmer
     barnstorming across

     expansive fields of baby
     (barely) barley corn
crib bed crop 'pon harvest time,
     (an maize zing genre), especially
     when enriched with humus

     laden loamy muck cob bra,
     then aye delightfully
     trumpet from dehorn
of good 'n plenti kernel Sanders gave me

     saluting rank and file fool's capped
     fecund fashioned earthborn
dunce sing tassels,
     versus growing seasons gone by,

     when draught of ideas forlorn
despite futilely blowing on my flugelhorn
high and dry reap peat head paltry yield,
     asper when this strapping chap

     a sweaty backed greenhorn
pondering why agrarian laborious life of toil
     omitted as part and parcel of "newsworthy"
     posterity sagas deeming

     shenanigans of highborn
and/or "FAKE" headlines crowd inborn
noble folks,
     who grease palms of industrialists,

whose quaking self importance
     thwarts aside rural cosseted
     krummhorn grounded bumpkin mor'n
     how kapellmeister coaches bourgeoisie

helping determine
     zero absolute value of newborn
fated to slave away
     till body electric outworn,

yet paradigm shift of
     (butter late then ever)
     jiffy popcorn version
sown by seeds of Jethro Tull,

whose bonhomie with brio didst reborn
agricultural revolution took root,
     whence before long some did scorn
and lamented machinations

     ordered simple existence ripped and torn,
where antithetical views suppressed
     and unto revolutionaries
     became legion and well-worn.

back a small number of years thee diva of this domicile
exhibited an aura, charisma, enigma…devoid of any guile
boot of late turned a cold shoulder to me and I’ll
avoid denigrating, haranguing, and lambasting said dell lisle
la, whose avoidance behavior toward me – who goes a mile
out of her way to ensure our paths do not cross – noah din nile
per the above – well, perhaps a slight bit of hyperbole
    viz this, mine swift tailored, harried style
per potpourri of puzzling perturbation evinced
   by said olde world germane German dame we lease this duplex
   treating us, as if we committed some egregious crime
   subsequently forced to stand trial
viz aversion toward this convivial, frivolous and introspective chap
   methinks said realtor/renter joined a coven den
   where doe eyed zen of thieves
   occupy teaching rubric of mean-ness while
taking appropriate and selective pages
   from play book of sarah palin

which tension unlikely to cease for the next month till the deed
doth expire, where by this witch a taw
   hook cans *** (ours) will be freed
of renting a long and fostered, roach and fox infested, century21
   from once salient sympathetic ear this,
   now manifests Scrooge like greed
reminding us (essentially via cessation of any interaction),
   how she once did heed
to our various and sundry travails –
   though neither myself nor the spouse,
   the latter whose vociferousness regularly exudes loathsomeness
   toward said key per, and once a vouch saving storied angel
   without fail and indeed
wife tis not shy to vent where a plethora of expletives lead
   rant and rave toward an impending crisis
   that will me send out an SOS
ever felt compelled to join Hemlock society or drown sorrows in mead
yet, a disappointment arises a formerly positive dynamic now im peed
did by reasons unbeknownst to me,
   who feels ever so grateful ye chanced to read
my babbling of the poetically irrational from a regular joe,
   who doth not sport Harris Tweed
nor (despite any immediate intimations)
   doth newt smoke ***** nor drink ****.

(no braggadocio! modest rodomontade scored triumphantly!)

Unbeknownst to me, a generic human ape,
an unpleasant surprise
     swished down like an ominous cape
awaited and near smothered me drape

ping that October morning, where no escape
presaged via frisky black cats
     chasing shadows on fire escape
crossed my path after walking under a ladder
     where ice **** ravens didst jape!
**********
Wheels of injustice applied via de
fender, sans Johnny Cochran forced ee
year splitting amidst general public fee
ver rush to absorb disbelief shell shock hee
ret tickle non guilty conviction from key

ping popular culture spell bountious lee
really exhausted viz three ring me
dee ya circus (June 1994 – October 1995) pre
vail ling obvious evidence irrelevant, thus re
deeming O.J. Simpson to strut guilt free

from emotionally charged trial. I awoke
as usual and performed customary bespoke
oblations vis a vis half-hour plus choke
hold asphyxiation meditation, okey doke
shuteye discipline followed daily to evoke

calm, cool, and collected trance zen dental
bliss before motoring on with gist of gentle
lee presented vignette, though me mental
state did not shift gears into a rental

modus operandi, but only partially new
trawl eyed , cuz the then fiancé (one mew
zing chic chick i.e. Abby Robin Zison), Jew
dish us lee spent the night
     at our transitional grew

some domicile) immediately nsync to report do
tuff lee (at the Goddard School)
     raced like a Chew
Bach ha's Dickensian protagonist back up Badoo
two flights of stairs. Like eponymous Aloo

men hum mushing spry feline woman out bitta bing
bitta bang (clanging like hells bells) ding  
donging, she immediately flew back fling
all four feet eleven of her harried style jing

ling in an agitated state she set foot to go bob  
bing out the door intent
   (as iterated) driving to her job,
and in combination pantomime
   and words crisis did lob

asper like a bot to me,
     she attempted to communicate rob
bing her unsuspecting fount of thespianism
   tub air gritty modicum
   of rationale from putrid slob

name of Leslie (the lunatic landlady)
     thine paramour conveyed clarity mouth ajar
after surmising urgent news
     required automatic action to un bar
driveway, where I parked car,

the previous night surreptitiously venal far
from rational rapscallion most definitely har
bored an axe to grind, and locked Ford Escort par
**** shinned within chain linked fence - war

fore suggestion got made
     (from future bride)
to confront landlady,
     and sternly insist and mildly chide
corrective action taken,

     yet this storyteller defied
said suggestion, and brainstormed
    with betrothed asthma guide
averting compromising neither of our pride

and prejudice respective, sans stevedore
managers would not let us slide
gnome hatter, how we could not
     escape deprecation
     no matter how much we tried.

Prior to heading off to bed
     the prior night, I deigned
to express likelihood to landlord/owner
     thyself and pseudo spouse needed to find

another place to live. The major reasons
for vacating premises? Her grind
ding cigarette no ifs, ands
     or buts smoking mind
less ness ranked (on par
     with chimney didst wind

     burning wood smoke
at full blast) as primary source
     of revulsion did provoke,
and aye came across with homespun folksy
sensitive mien, as a simple country bloke
I expressed honest sentiment at being
extremely averse (where hacking awoke

     the future wife)
     from second hand carcinogen(s)  
     extant within cancer sticks. Asphyxiation deafen
knit lee found me choking half to death even
putting towel under the door, or

     additionally keeping
     bedroom window wide open,
the malodorous nicotine wisps ambled - pen
     knit trait ting, wending, curly cued,
     and filtered thru fabric with mischievous yen.

No matter, the twisting tendrils of tobacco found
their way into ole factory nasal cavity ground
zero, sans health conscious holistic being hound
did, what constituted one deranged dame
     the SPCA ought to impound.

Another factor fueling foul accommodations yin
     wanna know offset fine tuned win
Dixie yang,
     which odoriferous torture constituted

     nauseating odor of cat *****
and litter boxes smelt worse than sin,
cuz, they never got cleaned of feline ***** matter
     near visible as a unsightly dangerous shark fin.

Upon summoning effort
     and energy to communicate
bona fide concerns, she responded
     and didst denigrate

with contempt fiery madness irate
psychotic malicious venomous vile
     as dead body snatcher mate
and then insidious wheels

     of malice with tongue flames
crackling, popping, and snapping
     from out her reptilian pate
     began to turn more sharply

     amidst ghoulish clatter and path
     of destruction on her tabula rosa slate
with more danger than
     along axis of evil tete a tete.

She madly paced back and forth
     across maligned envisioned aisle
a small patch of uncluttered space in main foyer
     witnessed seething rage wherein

     carpeted floor boards,
     an imperfect circle shod feet didst dial
no doubt internally
     plotting vengeful strategic guile.

Castigations, fulminations, and insinuations ague
gulled out her mouth
     noxious fumes left exit pronto flew
ludicrous lacerations
     from fiery dragon lady did spew

while yours truly soundly slept
     and without incident dreamt edenic view
she unwittingly trappings to annihilate  Xandu
some personal vendetta. After I washed, dressed as a zoo

keeper headed downstairs,
     the malicious scheme she did hatch
out back became a living reality,
     an empty house doors hooked with latch

(Samir, the other occupant) left hours earlier no match
to tangle with wicked witch absented premises natch
eerily echoed every footstep trod one patch,
after another
     patent leather slippers paused to scratch

an niche 'pon second landing
     (to confirm a strong hunch)
that nary a soul heard nor seen,
     probably out to lunch,

no raving ranting banshee
     demented drunk as punch
No zombie like entity appeared from the “DO
NOT DISTURB” sign affixed
     outside sleeping area, aye did scrunch

brow to compress insight,
     where mangy catatonic felines
     shared coterie holograms suddenly jumped out
     from virtual reality cat n' app cradle
     swishing tails shorn like cat o' nines

mewing obscenities (within/ out
     computer screen, ominous signs,
sans phantasmagoric phantom) lurking
     like a lunatic swing from vines.

Nonetheless, I continued to tread
     down dimly lit said
lower level with glimmer
     of optimism to bolster lead

din heavy mood crossing fingers
     spare set of skeleton keys
     (with cross bones and skull head)
nearly always left tantalizingly
     dangling in unused door latch, twas cred

double wish, thus spirit within me soared
and just as quickly sank to abyss of psyche moored
     sensation felt like poured molten lava oh Lord
Guess what? No such luck. Oh,
     she definitely would not a ford

carelessness, and took precautions okay
hiding temptation to make a getaway
Well…I stepped outside
     to assess situation. Blimey cray
zee myopic eyes forced to glean deadbolt
     found gate shut tight, thence a feeble bray

escaped parched lips, when lo...vix
teased and cross myopic eyes,
     no doubt played tricks
holy glory. Ah, a handsaw
     carelessly got left and altered mix
matched tool chest in plain view, a sudden fix

but prior to acting on the plan, quite do able
I made a few telephone calls
     first telephonically cable
hub rate, and firstly contacted employer

     told tale more unbelievable than a fable
thence to local police
     in order to file complaint against
     goon bonkers malicious monstrous label

quick as the brown fox
     jumps over the lazy dog
escape attempted perilous hell grog
ghee nightmare commenced after placing

     phone back on cradle, whence nog
     'gin set fingers to twitch busily
     sawing into one steel link,
    (an effort aye did slog)

thru to break at one linkedin steel segment
barricading trusty Ford Escort
     so this fellow could hightail with pent
up adrenaline out of nefarious
     steely web and test a mint...,

     whence surge of adrenaline
coursed from head to toe,
     my heart pounded not so gent
lee ready to burst from chest,
     and palms perspired profusely
with unexpected accursed of evil incarnate
     vis a vis hell bent agent

provocateur ready to pounce
     and deliver violent
retribution, which blows
     from blunt heavy object,
   would invariably render me unconscious
   courtesy of cerebral rent.

For better than worse, a kind face
of destiny smiled from countenance grace
sing unseen karma
     smiled smooth as sateen or lace
upon my essence as shaking hands

     furiosly moved saw handle
     back and forth dozens of times until…
THE CHAIN BROKE AND SET ME FREE
     now fickle finger of fate
     got me ought ta this place!

To Save Strays Deserve Lagniappe

Ruff lee, e'er since
     aye waz za lil whippersnapper
     watt wit dis awful temper, yet
     obedient to a pooch loving Aleut
til present moment, Asian ole mangy coot

this hot day (woof faux pas
     dipping into animal shelter
     donated water bowl)
     filled to the brim with smoothie fruit

flavored slaking, moistening, cooling,
     sans lallygagging tongue
     doth wipe phlegmy ooze away,
     where nearby a kazoo

     playing labradoodle
accompanies mum
     muttering prettifying self,
     via quasi preening snout
     when squeezed

     automatically issues
     ***** tonk sound imitating hoot,
where passerine twittering
     fly night passersby

     toss bone fied token loot
and a Norwegian
     bachelor farmer named Knute
Rockne took immediate

     liking to yours truly,
     who when scratched
     itchy fur patches remained mute
imparting unconditional love

     to petting man's best friend
hoof right then and there
     Isaiah felt as top underdog
momentarily distracted

Fermi n Rico as petsmart necessary fix
reduced to that as newshound ******
     oft times in desperation
     shine shoes ala boot lix

usually rewarded with bona fide prolix
about such a docile mix
breed to old for chase sticks
     to learn super champing cheap tricks.

within twenty first century promotion
   sans scientific paradigm
dogmatically hefty, kinetically lofty,
   and poetically thoroughly, xyz beliefs misalign
wherein mechanistic Ptolemaic,

   static venerated yin yang benign
choreography describing elementary forces
   governing heavens inviting jinxed, kooky,
   loopy measures necessitating pacific rectification
   to guarantee spatial objects remain in line

which notions trotted out
   a cosmic deal with invisble ink
   omnipresent, omniscient omnipotent
   benevolent creator link
synonymously afffixed terrestrial
   firmament (planet Earth) nsync

   with bedrock of deified Gibraltor
until undisputed supposedly
   figuratively hermetically sealed
   fostered religious (church) fathers
   to do more than blink

when inquisitive minds (undaunted
   though invoked as heretical martyrs)
   blaspheming solidly entrenched
   blind faith functioning with charm
mingly quaint association with amulets, churinga,
   equisite fetishisms guiding humanity

   innumerable journeys kickstarting
   legendary modus operandi initially harm
   less lee sounding out,
   what manifested into a schismatic alarm
   regarding millennial questions
   underming liturgical moorings
   strong lance heaving arm

irrevocably toppled geocentric mindset,
   nonetheless this oblate spheroid dance
sing with the stars redoubled
   devout hangers-on fixed
   with barnacle cleaving devotion stalwart stance
Page Number Two:

populace behooved (as would be expected),
   when Douting Thomas' revolutionary screeds
   threatened (prior to unending)
   univeral schema just by chance
and despite proclamations pronounciations,
   and provocations roiling status quo
   hashtagged as evil rants

eventually zealous warfare between
   growing heliocentric individuals  
   with sacrilegiously blatantly deranged
fiendishly gnarly heathens –
   perhaps the Renaissance own Timothy Leary

the dawn of a quantifiable, explainable theory
(minus all those concentric embedded orbital paths)
   diktat preachers eventually became weary
to challenge recalcitrant (purported hell raisers)
   (****, I would have fit right in as a rebel rouser)
   whereby agents provocateurs spout vestigial claim
   to Gaea remaining front and center of galaxy
   on par clubbing with Mother Mary.

though thine wife gladly
     (and long time ago)
     verily swept passed
     her final child bearing year

this house broken husband
     genuinely hankers to father
     (yes sire re:to set sea men
     "NOT FAKE," nor NONGMO
     free and reduced)
     and longingly participate
     in parenthood again

     donning baby proof couture wear
analogous (as aye imagine dragons
   fire breathing worth tolerating),
     those who fervently veer

yearning to undergo
     *** reassignment surgery (SRS)
     with unintentional surgeon's delicate tear
aye  thru thoroughly anesthetized flesh,

     (especially genitals under going
     transformational substantial removal
     via said - bravely bite ting the bullet -
     sharp pinching shear)

contemplating, formulating, issuing
     personal specifications to cutting crew
     validating, testifying recapping re: questing
     genitals do not reappear

since significant surgery purport, some hetero
     ****** person might **** sitter queer
yet no doubt a homosexual
     and/or lesbian would ap pear

to understand completely if he/she
     didst unwittingly accidentally overhear
confidential conversation,
     yet warmly reassured the speaker,

     they did not intend to get near
enough to glean enough information
     that said transexual could reduce wardrobe
     with women and/or menswear

and this once distraught,
     distressed, and distributed
     without willingness unfairly
     fated to live stemmed,

     undoubtedly wrought from ****** misalignment,
     would post surgery
     hover off the ground and modestly
     swagger off into the sunset

     (this scenario projection strictly of mine)
anyway he/she could map out in one direction
     destiny describing,
     an upswinging trajectory linear

once future freed where gender now nsync
     with physical gonadal accouterment
unconcerned if urge arises
     to swivel derriere with flare.
-------------------------------------
matthew scott
highland manor apartments
schwenksville, pennsylvania
19473
USA

Though aye haint no athlete, nor a cosmopolitan mwm,
this bloke dislikes capricious adrenaline rush
to prove without a doubt
at least to whomever announced
to display eye popping, mouth watering,

nose twitching a notch above chattering class,
I could never be find klieg lights shone on me,
cuz this baby boomer favor modesty,
and allow, enable and provide unconditional
acceptance and/or sir render if a verbal tete a

tete sparring rapport, quintessentially predicating,
predicting, presaging petsmart outstanding native
manhood lesson kooky, jousting insignificant, harmony,
gaiety, favorability, earnestly draws character,
basically badass and altruistic anatomical acer.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ah, I mean to narrow scope of poetic theme
so pardon ma roundabout circular modus operandi
shifting intent to discuss five overlapping rings
specifically, yet fern *** part tickler rhyme nor reason

those trademark circular strunk and white elements
of harried styled, swiftly tailored symbols
decreeing a fresh batch of Olympiads, ought
to be preceded via a topnotch Gumby like
rubbery sprite, who gets trotted out as a nimble

acrobat (gender impossible to determine based
upon Pygmy size physique performing her/his
balancing act (while avast crowd peers thru binoculars)
atop an equestrian (coincidentally
enough named Pokey), kooly juggling,

illustionistically hefty, generally fiery essentially
discobulous, cyclical, basically sans,
non verbal body language announcing
human fetes defying the laws of physics, which
global contest occurs every two years i.e. biennial

versus biannual, which means twice a year.
The rings are five interlocking rings, colored
blue, yellow, black, green and red on white field,
known as the "Olympic rings". The symbol
page number two:

originally designed in 1912 by Baron Pierre
de Coubertin, co-founder of modern
Olympic Games. Between subsequent meetups
held at metropolis when elected doth fast-track
this mission (rendering impossible much needed

infrastructure repairs, but vying to beautify a city
based on bids, or maybe drawing straws)
exerts priority, thus every laborer recruited
to emulsify, fortify, glorify...

whatever sainted urban jungle
testing physical mettle asper whatever sport
competitors vie to pit their burnished brawn, deft
flourish heaving jellied jambalaya limber muscles
opportunistically quite supremely ultimately

winning hearts and minds of spectators until
next candidate performs his/her slack jaw
jack draw, jumbo popcorn filled bowl dropping,
nonpareil, eye popping, routine,

and so on...an attempt for a ticket holder
to merely stand upright gets tripped with
mindscape filled to the point of saturation
with supra hue man dare devilish
whirling dervish performances.

Not one of these contenders for top prizes
can be modest, yet here such narcissism
expected, when the crème de la crème
of a well synchronized machine of finely tuned
glass shattering aria re: symphony for
skeletal system, musculature, and love of fitness

presents such a supremely sumptuously
striated squared specimen on the world
wide webbed stage. Aside from vicariously
exalting in the trials and errors of first one,
then the retinue of absolute breathtaking
delight, the ordinary conflicts (between

one warring internecine faction and another
mortal enemy) get suspended for duration
of these celebrations. A fanatic, generic,
heuristic, intrinsic kinetic potential

unleashed from a select body of youths,
young fluid adults athwart cusp and prime of life
who spent majority of their brief lives
(since most entrants seem to retain
a faint residue of childhood).
However many weeks encompasses
the planet agog with exemplars

pushing thee enveloped limitations
built or evolved (whatever your belief)
within **** Sapiens, a collective unified
adulation, vocalization wows loudly, thence echoing
like an Earthly explosive shot fired across beaming berth
divine expression qua visual fancy feast.

That infinitesimal fragment of time
(when laying down
of a bomb bin nub bull arms occurs) proves
smarmy, snooty, ******
abuse, brutality, cruelty...heaped

upon innocent creatures great lumbering sized
or microscopically small magically
able to mastering purposefulness,

analogous like idealistic storybook fable
diversity tis viable to adopt care and
concern for others. No matter this
blatant claim defies everyday gruesome,
horrible, intolerable jawboning,

knifing, mauling, naysaying, overtly
punishing, quivering ******, sodomizing,
terrorizing, undertaking vile waterboarding,
yielding zero, zilch, zip loosening restraint
despite the agonizingly beseeching,

cloyingly desperate, emphatically feeble,
gasping helplessly, indignantly jeered,
kicked, lambasted, molested, needled,
paddled, quickened recipe per

phlegm drum manic spewing, tasering,
ultimately violently whipped, which
contrary behavior vis a vis survival

of baseless, damndest, foremost, hated
jackal lashing, narcissistically, polluting
re: slaughtering until vilest wickedest
ignoble yearning zero sum throw win game crowned
most nasty beast that e'er walked this terra firmae.

Less any objection with the missus,
versus never experiencing living alone
well...yes during that rough patch,
(sans during early adolescence),
I existed in a bone

huff fied impenetrable cocoon,
and just maybe before
yours truly dies, a clone
can be created from
stem cells of this doggone

melon collie, whimpering
beastie boy finally revelling,
where destiny does enthrone
me rendering unfettered
with round the cluck nymph fone

mani yolk hen pecking, nagging,
and leaching... from blood *******
vampire spouse foregone
as a "bad" dream worse
than getting Rhode

Island sized gallstone
removed subsequently
saving said as gemstone
whiling away hours, days, weeks...
chiseling away at my gravestone,

no matter yours truly will get cremated
ashes scattered, liberated, and dispersed
finally exempt from grindstone,
where thee spirit
of Math Hew Homophone

Scott Harris appeased
as powdery gray flecks
similar to limestone,
that swirl reintegrating with Earth,

this quirky I poetically intone,
and soundlessly utter from jawbone,
perhaps communicating more
clearly by knucklebone.

Absent deliberate intervention
     vis a vis suicide,
supposed "natural" longevity
     of generic human primate ride
ding ******* across avast
     broke back mountain minus pride
defies accurate prediction,
     though hypothetical

     projections can override
unknown factors, whereby
     excluding misfortune nationwide
(and/or globally deadly accidents,
     catastrophes, diseases, mudslide,
fatalities from gunshot, et cetera)
     unexpectedly arise dismissing by landslide

mortal adversity can be generally,
     and more accurately spell joyride
ding calibrated to continue,
     thus subsequent existence,
     viz getting inside
scoop of this basic fellow, aye surmise
     to continue for many another hayride
say...two score plus more orbitz,

     whereat linkedin, flickr ring guide
by invisible hand snapchatting
crackling and popping fireside,
twittering whatsapp pining
     during eventide,
watching virtual twilight at dockside,
witnessing artificial intelligence,
     perfectly mimicking

     illusory edenic countrywide
vibrantly melds scenic
     ideal tonic bedside
counting black sheepish crows,
      thence set sleep number
      putting all worries aside
while merrily rowing boat
     with gentle creatures alongside.

prosaic prologues bewitch
   feeble minded scribe doth undertake
tend toward lugubriousness ring tone
   for goodness sake

echoing across,
   a figurative lake woebegone, where quake
shutters latched storm windows,
   clapped closed winter season didst make
physical environment lachrymose

   analogous to imp pond durable dark lake
where sits inside secluded hut,
   this fledgling author named Jake
a former cub (scout) at a loss
   to string together an aria
   tomb other nature and NOT FAKE,

sepulchral paeon to divine Gaea, Mother Earth
especially incorporating
   mutisyllabic (sesquipedalian) words,
   which exertion
   on par with giving birth

(or so I guess),
   a particularly heavily pregnant laden dearth
of help mates, doubling demonstrably
   deadly duty devoid of mirth
totally tubular taxing toll,

   an essentially unbearable
   effort with bulging girth
whereat digestion consumes
   latent mental ambition,
   especially toasty warm near the hearth

which hitherto unknown to any reader
   twas Xmas fabrication and fiction
no crime committed, nor animals harmed
   in the making of diction

aery necessary entrapping unsuspecting intellect
   to comprehend somber benediction
unless perchance one lone wolf
   bait Oven  English Major
   with Westernization

topped off with a European  
debunaire suave acculturation
even luckier if hypothetical personage
   dips daintily into forays epicurean,

though careful,
   and alert since church fathers
  would frown on parsonage
whose natural born ardor,
   a spiritual abduction

stealing austerity, complacency, and objection
toward forced irrational schemas
   averse to abnegation
unfair imposition

   to foist upon pruriant predilection
also impossible mission
   to sequester arbitrary animal urges,
   punishing call of the wild,
   sowing seeds a ******* accusation
considered averse,
   then imposition contrition!

Mandated this faux gremlin explorer
(alias Cliff Ford) donning reinforced
rubber baby buggy bumpers to dodge
any errant wild jaguar, ram, thunder bird,
bee in blue bonnet hood lamb, et cetera

and/or any cowl screen Fascia hissed
dee fender must be subject to an intense
hot grill, especially if grievous, ferocious,
egregious, deleterious threat to undermine
Democratic pillar, weltanschauung spoiler,

rocker, rims (sic) coarse sea cove dweller,
whose tired hubby capped, (re: proffering
a trim package) houses plenty of junk in
the trunk adorned with harried styled and
tailor made dust ruffle par excellent well

did assembly, who (if not consigned to a
crash test dummy existence), would present
an a door able latchkey cont hinge hint. Fuel
lush con tank cuirass culpable, deplorable,
and execrable fiendish human immigration

injustices (executed abhorrent auto de fe
incognito, nonetheless lock king figurative
gnarled horns with cognoscenti), where
innocent charges teary eyed. Like
a cracked glass, viz shatterproof wind

shield radiator, the plaintive inconsolable
crying babies alarmed Aunt Henna. Mass
media did radio this *******, tripped,
and trashed tragic travesty. No tuner then
atrocious, baseless, callous dirt deed done

dirt cheap, one loud speaker after another
took to the airwaves, and sundry tele
communications outlets. Sad doggone sonic
booms (representative of sub woofer)
soul fully bellowed forth broadcasting across

humungous flat screens appalling catastrophe
unfolding reminiscent of battery abuses
against scapegoats since time immemorial,
otherwise known as (ohm my dog) volt age.

I gauge how wealth (or lack thereof) constitutes
as distributor. Electronic timing controllers
(viv a vis the internet and/or virtual realty
simulates) function as ignition modus operandi
to communicate gross injustices renting asunder

heart wrenching agony engendering abysmal
leap into nothingness. Existence rendered moot
as despicable horrors inflicted upon deportees.
Thee footworn, forlorn foghorn troops (analogous
to stone temple pilots) unwittingly journey into

torturous labyrinth, herein monsters ******
suckling babes. A pained spotlight signals sense
sore re:us, nasty and brutal choking, that throttles
the psyches battered beyond thermostatic threshold
of tolerance. Now any Earthling with sense and sense

ability must heed this alarm and siren infringing
abominably primal tenets, ethos, credos aligning
power train, sans **** sapiens linkedin as
one organic entity.

High athwart global sphere
planet Earth doth app pear
tubby totally tubular as a mere
twinkling gem devoid of lesions from hare
brained schemes to exploit near
Gaea, where

legions of self aggrandizement tear
ring into all four corners  
   of terrestrial firmae orb queer
hull us wreaking indiscriminate havoc,

   yet blithe dismissal mare
ring greedily inducing
   brass knuckle sandwich lobbed punches
   punctuating each pugilisitc
   jude dee ish us punch with denunciatory jeer

accompanied in situ with a malicious glare
destroying staunch
   eco-friendly advocates tabulated violations
   kept under lock and key  
  within a filing cabinet dossier
to hell rants Donald Trump and his miscreants
   in reference viz those “FAKE” defiant, hippo critical
   defenders of Earth, wind, fire, and air

subject to rampant wanton (soup per) discrediting  
   substantiated scientifically airtight conclusion,
   sans irrefutable linkedin cause and effect
   against human perpetrators
   rampant environmental abuse

pegged since that first Margarita
   signaled industrial age crowdsourcing,
   crowing, crowning deuce
ex machina leveling landscape until
   scoured bowels of oblate spheroid glacis loose
to wring and extract sought after mineral wealth
   essentially wrenching, hammering, nailing cinch,
   which global gem analogous

   to affixing a polarized noose
specific metals deemed precious
   justifying reckless ramifications thin as gruel excuse
whereat said esteemed Mother Nature privy ledges
   sheared to extract vis a vis akin to a sluice

industrial machinations insyc –
   dynamited, sheared, sound blasted to rob
   (point blank with no criminal sentence),
   especially when conglomerate
   conspiratorial corporations
   violated most every truce

boot at bottom, any vow to tender flora and fauna,
   a dead letter steeped in violations ruse
vitiate prior drafted conservation pacts signed, sealed
   and delivered with “faux” obeissance

uttering lame excuse
in an effort to squeeze and seize
   (by aggressive means if necessary), the goose
that laid golden eggs intended to line deep purple pockets –
   brushing aside accusations with VAMOOSE,

particularly to marginilized Native Americans
   already a shadow of their former glory,
   but production even at the expense of
   slo-mo genocide annihilation a road block
   to sought after mineral deposits juiced

waiting for opportunity to rake landscape bare
   as the Moon (with a eh “No big deal attitude)”
indiscriminately sowing seeds of bleakness
   via uprooting, scraping,

   and pulverizing plants and animals
such as Bull Winkle the moose
and crown such egregious destruction
   claimed as righteousness purportedly pinpointed

   within religious texts to render unto haven
   of innocent creatures, and other organic life,
   the God sent email to reduce
once resplendent oblate spheroid,
   now nothing but a wasteland
   even a nightmare to Doctor Zeus!

a minor typo found this fanatic spell binding hound to resend a poem dashed off in a huff (past the hour) if nothing else than fur his peace of bot tee, mind. Thus this Norwegian bachelor wannabe (most closely aligned with said status closely attained unmarried state by pledging my Unitarian troth)  tilled, sown, and furrowed spirit nsync with the missus sleeping in close proximity.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

dog tired this day - march 29th, 2018

no matter this dawg gone pup
     took numerous one after another cat nap
his utterly fatigued
     body electric still ragged
     as if he went without sleep for a lifetime,
     ensnared within a time warp,

     espied that aggravating "aw SNAP"
(error code instead of a webpage
     indicating Chrome happens to be
     experiencing problems loading)
     or, simultaneously
     caught in a narcoleptic parent trap

thus, while a burst of energy
     temporarily doth prevail
(a priori which extreme fatigue
     of body, mind and spirit -

     more troublesome, and worse than -
     getting crucified
     with a rusty nine inch nail
alleviated with deep sleep finds

     much more tiredness
     than usual quotidian sleepiness
     bruiting this male)
     being imprisoned (for high

     gram matt tick crimes
    and misdemeanors) such as: comma, splices,
     dangling a modifier, splitting an infinitive,
     unnecessary parenthesis (), et cetera

     which landed me punctually,
     proverbially, and squarely
     in the slaammed shut jail
fed thin gruel with grubs that didst flail
nauseating pluperfect revulsion
     each time hide exhale

which, many hours long rests did restore
for a bit of time only for totally tubular
      exhaustion to come roar
ring back leaving me tour
     charred as if...i fought in every major war.

Brainstorm cometh, damning frontal hemisphere
jamming lookout, noggin perched, roiling thinking
uber wayfaring zealot, drills legendary phalanx.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Writer's block afflicts Das scribe,
     who **** now stricken supine
     adept dull livery sub par excellence
     his gold standard worse

thus, another day
     to slog thru arduous process
     crafting admirable verse
wrestling behemoth loosed ******
     dodging enfilade broadcast sos terse.

N'er easy chore to fashion
     acceptable word worth poem to whit
staring at flickering
     accursed cursor doth blank stare visit

flash flooding warning saturated
     gray matter fist sized unit
groundswell burgeoning leveed banks
     barging signals transmit

urgent army corps of engineers
     to reroute via sluice, sans surfeit
apprentice longshoreman
     doth double duty

     as grammarian sought to retrofit
arduous struggle ensues, where drowning
     affects consummation
     strong temptation quit

ditch ching progress made,
     thus far in hot pursuit
mind comfortably numb
     stream of consciousness

     submerges concentration
     entrenched deep posit
craftiness sentenced to punctuate
     disequilibrium doth outwit

venerably beaded trademark
     Scottish matted flair
     abandoned unfinished poem
     left forever stranded orbit
     zero escape velocity

zinging, unsprung,
     pinging mindscape nonprofit
able endeavor reflecting zeitgeist
     bombarding Messerschmitt
undermining, strafing, disabling
     cutting crew rescue outer limit
faint feint blinking in the twilight zone.

just moments ago, a dawning realization
     arose within this sol son begat
from ma late mother
     and octogenarian widower father,
     oh..no nothing cat

tuss strophic, boot merely the revelation,
     how fist bumping dee clocks hour hand ahead
     remembered by dat
dog gone refrain spring ahead, and fall back,

     this unemployed chap doth down play eclat
attests that his quotidian schedule minimally effected
     holed up here in Highland Manor named flat
roomy enough for thyself, the Missus,

     and buzzfeed ding fruit flies
     each approximately the size of a gnat
a minor nuisance, though tolerable
     within this appealing habitat

where minor inconvenience experienced
     by this Schwenksville, Pennsylvania resident
cuz as a recipient of social security disability
     (social anxiety) this psyche didst get rent

which fixed (unearned) income budgeted
     and predominantly costs of living money spent
hence no need to arise bright tailed and bushy eyed,
     a freedom akin to folks camped out in a tent,

which exemption immunizes
     this doodle ling middle aged
     muddle brained chap subject ranting
     early morning drivers,

     who angrily rant and vent  
thus, the tendency, piquancy, and lunacy
     to twitter (for the Yardbirds),
     and keep company with night owls, who went

a hooting for all the world wide web
     to hear, whence dawgs Bach
the exact number of hours, yer oblivious
     to the tight rigorous mortised schedule
     manned by Mister Clock,

essentially foisting on Bread Winners,
     an abstract artificial construct spurring
     madcap commuters to scurry in the rat race,
     lest tardiness could cost

     more than paycheck
     (to ap pier with permanent dock
hue ment aye shun),
     an unwonted blot add hoc
king worry about getting canned -

     i.e. on permanent furlough,
     perhaps forced into a life of crime, yet if caught...
wasting away in a jail cell
     as warden turns the lock

one redeeming factor,
     would offer opportunity to mock
management, and more pertinently
     mandate to rock
and roll to the incessant muted,
     yet devastatingly loud tick tock.

Ages ago bygone childhood delighted
   especially Florida (sunkist) grandpa
Harris (Aaron) indulged jais nais sais quois
   kibitizing lovingly, mirthfully
naturally offering pleasing qualities,
   rendering slender tanned
under venerated wristwatch (analog),
   x2c yielded zealousness.

Thee paternal grandfather oft times visited our rural abode
at that time one sturdy estate
   (originally called Glen Elm) wildlife crowed
within the plush wooded tract (slated, parceled,
   and mapped) to explode
with cookie cutter lookalike slapdashed,
   shoddy tinderboxes (vinyl city) growed
on formerly untamed, uber ****** woods,
   perhaps early boondocks getaway hoed
and plowed, but indomitable (once abandoned)

   nature relished reversed grape seeded tracery igloed
yet 'pon reflection, I ponder how early occupation knowed
no habitat foresaw wreckage
   when decision via wealthy Leipers,
   (wealthy owners of The Bell and Clapper)
   unanimously crafted mode

das operandi to build stately sturdily summer country villa,
   (circa early 1900's)
   which residence whittled down to 324 Level Road -
demesne comprising about a half dozen acres
   eventually acquired by Boyce Harris  
  February 28th 1968 – san mort gauged toad
a near singlehanded undertaking to create thee abode
whence majority of thine lviii years spent,
   now crafted in poetic code

originally my intent to expound on memories
   when paternal grandfather erode
out to said residence, and averse to expand horizons
   asthma late mum didst goad
him (in vain) to commingle, find intelligent links
   analogous to electronic signals communicating ip node
but this towheaded grandson,
   merely excited when me daddy's papa


   came to this figurative antipode,  
where pegged back in time
   when this elderly regal family member
   only a half decades shy,
   whence benchmarked by horse drawn carriages rode
but more to the point, twas how eager
   to toy with the wristwatch (analog)
which chained metal links wore a temporary imprint
   upon his aged skin – dog  

head lee remaining even departure time arrive
   for favorite boyhood relative,
   which when a kid also glee at occasions
   treasuring older folk gave me a frog  
tiled toy (sliding puzzle) that required dexterity
   moving pieces fastly secured,

   which when complete always left me agog
and this, that or some other gewgaw, souvinir, trinket
   (plus a bit of chump change given to me)
   spurred me late mum to spark me mental cog
to say “good morning”, “good afternoon”,
   “goodnight”, or when eggnog

proffered to this most senior chronological guest,
   who sat at the head of table,
   or blankly watching television like a bump on a log
while chided, forced, induced...
   to parlay social graces from this mere pollywog
who (much as delight arose fussing
   with trappings worn loss on atrophied flesh)
   a skittishness found me averse to follow orders
   as if I happened to be a petsmart dog.

lower abdominal area gurgles and balloons
gastrointestinal tract
     vis a vis flatulence croons
in tandem and/or subsequent expulsion

     eliminates ***** waste
witnessing sprinting to bathroom, this scribe
     (against time) and jet propulsion
     of sphincter muscles'
     spasmodic desperately raced

unpleasant symptom of anxiety/ panic attack
twas a stranger to this rhyme stir,
     who now finds himself barrack
cay did, and held hostage, where thoughts
     about mooning doth not crack

a smile, or baring derriere tubby more exact
me up - matter of fact
no source of laughter, nada one ha intact
     (despite usual presence of chuckles
     from this fan of good humor) high jacked

for what seems a maternity leave
     from all mothers tub be
thus envision, a bevy of pregnant gals
     aching with cramps he

ving (times square of the hippopotamus)
     with ****** fully dilated key
ping alert, when mother nature ready
     to pull up all stops (via umbilical cord)

     to deliver nee,
sans bundle of joy, followed
     in quick succession with after birth re:
placental sack, hence said effort to expel newborn

     the closest scenario experience ill suited to dance
afflicting this anxiety prone lovely bones, an all expanse
paid (seat of the pants) accursed bane of proletariat grants
no truce to attend finds me pampered asper this rants!

(alternately titled: Zayda born April 9th, 1929)

e'er since his birth,
     his daring do didst not abate
the penultimate most spectacular
     concrete incontestable product

     constituting biological offspring  
     developing, fashioning,
     and incubating gene nee us,
     he unwittingly didst create

encoded whence he got conceived
     approximately begat circa
     July nineteen twenty eight,
and hence upon April ninth

     two thousand and eighteen
     cometh denoting exceptional great
ness among kith and kin innate
awareness to take stock and celebrate,

how a series of fortunate events
     commencing with a date
to Harriet Kuritsky
     (at that time, yet to pledge her troth)

     accepting storied handsome fellow,
     whose constitution sturdy as "forest" timber    
     (definition of groom) to be lawfully wedded wife...
     until death do them part)

     unwittingly marriage didst emancipate
my mother, who met a awful, cruel
     and terminal undeserving fate,
which tortured demise, the grim reaper

     gladly, gleefully, and glibly
     held her steadfast
     thru death decreed grate
a permanent life sentence,
     she vehemently did hate

and fiercely fought tooth and nail
     (unimaginable to me,
     thee sole son), how
     agonizingly bitterly clearly irate

such suffering wrenched, wrought, wrung
August marriage permanently
     cleft by malicious, nefarious,
     and opprobrious tongue

no heroic measures,
     only lamentation slung
upon the livingsocial clinging,
     where grief rung

every last ounce,
     though thru each passing year
thy mum gone thirteen orbitz
     round the sun, that shear
ring raw emotion
     still persists in concert with lear
ring grimace of deathly hallows, 'ere

obstinate heart ache lessened now
since papa found bliss
     in which to steer the prow
of his four score and nine

     aged ship of state row
wing (or more or less peacefully drifting)
     berthed in consonant with vow
wills - a staunch spirit does wow!