Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Bardo Sep 2019
Would you be the Lard then,
The Lard o' these lands ?

<The Lard !!!
I ain't the Lard of anything!
I'm the Laird of these lands, yes!
If that's what you mean.>

The Laird, eh!
So there's no Duck or Duchess over
    them then.

<Duck! You mean Duke, no Duke or
    Duchess !!!
Ain't no Dooks or Dutchesses around
   here Mon! >

Then what about the Goose,
The Goose of Gainly Hall.

<The Goose!!! What Goose ?
It's a ghost not a goose,
The Ghost of Gainly Hall !
Only goose I can see around here is
    you
Begone you unruly Mon, Begone!>

Unruly Mon is it ! Unruly Mon !!!
   (squaring up to the Laird)
...Heh! I'll nay fight ye, yer not worth it
The Big Lairdy Mon
I'll go off and alight some place else
Just like the Goose, the Goose of Gainly
    Hall !!!
............Hey Big Mon!!! The Goose! He's
    loose!! He's gone!!!
A bit of silliness purporting to come from the Highlands of Scotland.
Slab Of Flab Protrudes From Ab
twas an incremental subtle expansion of waist
most likely aside effects of one
or all prescription medication
to stave off severe melancholy,

social anxiety, panic attack, et cetera
whereby most everything thy tongue did taste
immediately delivered a randy paunch
to former washboard
smooth as a fresh application of gesso like paste
readying canvass
for partially naked self-portrait masterpiece
depicting naked body laced

with flat as a washboard physique
unlike present dis graced
whereat when sending a photograph
of shirtless self-try with futility
utilizing photoshop to get erased
displeasing equatorial zone of anatomy
saddled with unwanted
fatty tissue that defaced

proportionate rock hard stomach
with a slender man
about five foot and ten-inch build
evincing an aura of being chaste

gone forever analogous to temptation
gobbling house constructed
of cake and confectionery
that nearly did likewise to Hansel and Gretel
readying their not quite plump enough bodies

tubby slathered with baste
yet just in the nick of time
the two abandoned children aced
the sinister plot outwitting
cannibalistic cackling croaking old woman
inducing to break out into song singing

Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat
Sarasponda, sarasponda, sarasponda rat tat tat
A doray-oh, A doray-boomday-oh
A doray-boomday ret set set
Ah say pah say oh.
Asa D Bruss Oct 2014
And he handed me the carnage of so many wasted and poverty stricken corpses.
And I scrubbed.
And as I scrubbed, I watched the water
turn into tea
and then into coffee
and then into a rainbow-shimmering sheen of crude oil.
I scraped the burnt-on remains-off
so the worn, rusted,
yet impregnable metal pieces
could be a bit more
presentable: lamentable.
In preparation of the first-world ones
who take a bite at pleasure, and then discard.
Who borrow by bond their treasure
and waste the world with all their lard.
I don't usually write about stuff like this, to be honest I think it's the only one of its kind I have.
Tyler Man May 2014
I'm done it's over
No more no less
I'm done with this touture, distress
Stomach so nauseous
My mind so vicious
I can't do much more
It really won't be long before
I'm out that door
Or is that a metaphor
I really dont care anymore
My life's a *****
Lending my heart
My life my part
And nothing but pain
Nothing remains
My core is all gone
No strength to take on
This world
My head spins it's twirled
I'm weak a dieing clover
I'm done its over

Inside me was beleif
But was destroyed my mischief
I'm all gone from this life
Would I take it with a knife
To my throat
Maybe if I drowned I might float
Who cares anymore
I'm down on the floor
No more helping hands
All I can see is empty lands
Hurt so hard
A fat piece of lard
A waste of space
A complete disgrace
To the whole human race
Time to find a new place
Who am I, what am I
A monster meant to die?
So hurt inside
I tried to hide
But is death the key
Maybe then I can be free

— The End —