That void never really goes away!

They say it all heals
with the flow of time
but we keep running about in circles
to heal and fill up our voids.

What's the story of your void
which caused your emptiness?
No matter how much you bribe it
with all the worldly things,
It stills remains that hollow
from the inside!

We keep seeking for ourselves
in our true forms
trying to fill our voids
which made us hollow
only to find no way out!

And that void just grows
with all the time you had in life.

Hoping someday we heal
reciprocating what we may need!

May we heal,
heal from that void
which drains all our energies
piercing and tearing us apart
from within!

May we heal!

-Debby2021

Poetry of Words
with a heart & soul,
A healing touch
On it's own!

Hi
Hello
To all of you!
It's a hello day
Sending greetings
from all across
No barriers
No lines
A hello for peace
A hello for knowing you
a little more.
A hello from my heart
Accompanied by a smile.

we spend time together laughing out all the time,
but you open up nothing just like a mime.
You seem to be a mystery without a single clue
You make me happy in just a snap
But I doubt whether I can make you happy just for a while?
I too wish to make you happy many a times
but something or the other goes wrong from my side.
I won't force you to be with me
but if you speak up nothing
I won't know how you really feel
all I know is, you hide it all beneath your smile.
Say whatever it is, whether you want to stay or leave
but just don't hide
as the dilemma is killing me from inside!

The holiday spent
with the closest person
A roll of gifts with laughter & their precious time
The memories to be cherished
As the year is passing by,
And walking through a new year dream
Twinkling with more dreams to be fulfilled!

You never made me feel
as special as others make me feel now.
You never treated me that well
as much as others do now.
I know you told me you
never loved me truly
But my friends do..
they are more than what I ever hoped.
Its all about people, its how they are raised to be..
that's the difference between you, me and others.
The way you treated me doesn't let me
believe that I could be treated well.
But yes, they are treating me well.
How I wish I could make them feel
as special as they make me feel too.
How I wish I could forget everything
and start with a new slate!
How I wish..but wishes are not for me anymore!

I have googled it all
Asking random questions
To people and all
Reading more than ever
Writing my heart out
In pain, agony & distress.

How to do be alone
Happily and enjoy
my own company?

Adjusting myself to live
Somehow brings dreams and hopes
But all at once washed
Without a single sign.

I walk alone, to be alone
And to find alone
Me and my path!

I met myself last night after a long time
I buried my face in my blanket
as tears fell off crushing my heart.
I didn't know what to tell
or just be there for myself.

I kept quiet in tender stillness at night
I went across my heart & mind
and asked them how they are?
I know you all are exhausted
but still be with me.
I know its hard, but still
don't leave me apart.

I had a long conversation with each territory within me
longing through all the episodes of my life with me.
I know you all never make a fuss over my each day's agony.
I know its been 12 years long
to keep me alive
and trust me I am trying hard to keep you all up too.

I know you all need to repose
and make your way towards a little more pleasures in life.
Trust me I will yield all of that for you all
As I have only you all within me
so I will caress you all
caving in with love with all of me
mended in smiling pieces of you all with me.

I miss our long walks
I miss tasty food
I miss empty roads
I miss the right time
I miss the wrong time
I miss that I couldn't
make it right!

I miss late night photography
I miss sharing
every bite of food
With you
I miss holding your hands
I miss your tight hugs
I miss your romantic kisses
I miss our long drives
I miss our long fast rides
I miss sleeping next to you
I miss our love-nights
I miss our laughter
I miss every bit of you
I miss our craziness
I miss the sunrise
I miss the sunset
I miss the moon
shining above us
I miss the sea
I miss the hills
I miss flowers
I miss your essence
I miss the comfort
I miss your
face to face anger
I miss everything
Without you

I miss you...
I miss me...
I miss all of it!

Imperfectly perfect
Accept me as I am
Or leave as early as
Time flies unable to be tame
Be a part of me
Stay & not leave!

In fever I thought
When unable to get up at all
Like a tortoise I walked
Thinking all over again
What is life all about?

Remembered all my loved ones
But found only myself in solace
Care transferred through calls & texts.
Again asked myself
What is life all about?

Having an ice-cream cone
makes me feel nothing less than a kid on my own.
I start with the cream on top of the cone
with gentle kisses, here and there
smiling at it as if making it happy while having it
And the ice-cream smiling back at me
with the delicacy of sharing..
The conversation starts -
how are you doing?
Yes, after having you bit by bit
I am feeling much better than before I admit.
in-between the ice-cream melts..
messing up my hands and mouth while eating
But who cares...
I am having an ice-cream cone
that too, a vanilla dipped into chocolate melt.

23 April, 2017

I have been in sickness
down and dusted.
I am there for myself
and nobody around.
To wipe my tears of pain
Nobody to hold my palm
and the share warmth of their love.
But the hard truth to be digested
is that we all are on our own
to be loved by our own self. all along.

It cannot be seen
rather felt through a beam.
A lovely state of being
where you can die for
creating a new thing
without a sigh
or a second thought inbetween.
You can look around
and see beyond it.
And finally You feel
the delight of beginning
after reaching
the pinnacle of
an Inspiration hill!

Had a conversation with my Boss
He said he is the common sufferer
Meaning of common sufferer –
everybody takes leave or two from their job
But he is a full-time worker for maintaining
his company and studying more to be more attain.
Should I be sad about it that he works so much more than all of us
Or
be happy that he has achieved so much in life

Amidst the wilderness,
I will be that one wild flower
not to be seen around and ,
to embrace each moment
through the unbelievable Cascades.
To fill all the emptiness with my imagination
and never to turn back ever again.

The word bye
always makes me think twice!
I know it means Be with You Everytime
but people say bye
& never tend to look back!
Is it supposed to mean that
I should keep them alive within my heart
& keep burning with the pain all the time?

I tried
I tried
I tried it
On my own
And time froze
Not knowing
What's there
for store!

Its okay to fall hard,
Its okay to be in lows,
Its okay that life is hard
Its okay that you want to cry out sometimes,
Its okay to not find someone you love,
Its okay not to hear from special someone you like,
Its okay not to find anyone around,
Its okay if things doesn't go as we want,
Its okay if you keep remembering someone,
Its okay if your fate doesn't allow you to be happy,
Its okay if people judge you for wrong,
Its okay to leave what's eating you inside out,
Its okay to break apart,

Its okay! Its okay!

Its okay you are strong enough to figure out all!
Its okay not to lose heart,
Its okay to find the precious moments of being alone,
its okay to smile again after a turbulent storm,
Its okay to not tame our love for all,
Its okay to feel the freshness of life once and for all,
Its okay to live one more time,
Its okay to find your steps one day at a time.

Its okay! Its okay!

I am get petrified and frustrated being alone,
I go to parks, places all alone.
I see people all around me with love and all together.
I am conflicted for a while
Knowing or unknowing whether its good or bad for me to be alone and having space for me-time.
Or is it sad that I am completely alone.
But now if i evaluate I see myself what I am and what needs to be done.
I am a better me now. A me which had to transform into something from nothing at all!

I write inbetween
my hushful & hasty life.
I carry no baggage
but to pour out by compiling all of my heart.

I eat, sleep, laugh, cry, work, dream
which goes on till its brim.
But one thing which makes me whole
is my write,.
It brings me joy out of pain
it shakes me up while in strain
it soothes me altogether
& comforts me without any fail.

For almost years, was in deep sorrow
with life's trials every other day.
I cried and cried till I found my back.
From work to my room and
again back to work was my routine.
Couldn't come out of depression
Thinking it would be the end.
Sufferings never ended
Depression & anxiety never left me
They are still there..
What ended was my perception!

A perception of new life-
To live as if it's my last
Rather than dying every other day!

Things didn't start well today
almost brought tears to my eyes
not that at workplace emotions works
but somehow have to get back
in working good to bad
and bad to good all over again...
I have raised my standard pretty high
but now with mistakes overloaded..
I doubt how to get back
after a huge fall?

We might not be
crossing our paths
but what to do
That you cross
my mind
Every other time?

Lingering through
my heart
Residing within
my soul
As life..

My lips, parched as the thirsty desert
lingering upon for a submerged bite!

Only to be seen,
are thunders & lightening
awaiting for a tiny drop of rain
amidst the dark blue sky following!

To be lonely or not to be?
A question that makes me tormented.
To be lonely, shows me the inner way
Not to be?Not sure whether things would work out!
Meanwhile, alone and
enjoying on my own.
With a nice treat of food
And a soft cone dipped in chocolate!

I feel lonely inside
A void which nobody could fill
And I try my best to fill it
With something or the other.

Days, months, years passing by
Me being me,
trying new things,
Old things
No thing!

I observe people
Who are lonely too
What do they do
To keep going?
Was a huge questions
for me always.

Books, activities, movies
They go through
They start learning
To be with themselves happily
A book of charm.

A line I had to fill up
Today I am feeling...

Excited about life
If loneliness are lemons
I will make lemonade
Out of it
Every other day :)

You say I'm missing
Yes, you are right
I'm missing from the
corner of my heart
as a soulless being
shallow
from the deep cut
within.
Into this dark lost world
wandering here and there
in search of
a puzzling piece
which
got lost long back
and other pieces unmet
destined to never ever meet!

But

I seek that piece
in the very first ray of the Sun
I meet in the empty roads
as dark as my soul
I speak every day
with every falling drop of rainfall
until the Thunderbird mocks at me
to find I have nothing of that
piece*

but still I seek...

I wish I could sense all of your love
Like a cocooned shelter over me
Protecting me like a shield
I miss everyone whom
I have ever loved
I miss everyone who
loved me very much.
I see them in Dreams now
Far, far away from reality.
I wish them all the happiness
No matter whether they did
wrong or not!
I hope there is more hope of love for
me all around.

I'm in grey today,
Although I love other colors too,
But getting drenched in the festival of colors
I only remembered you.
Things go wrong as I know,
And cascades of my dreams falling apart,
I hold your hand in an illusion
Which suddenly disappeared.
I crawl back to you to feel that it is all desolated,
And come back with empty hands,
Following the grave of my love for you.

I see love birds
everywhere around
singing love songs
to each other.

And my lonely soul
screams to its every throb
screaming for love
I found many
but only temporary ones.
Flying from one branch to the other
unhappy with every soul

Finally found love
a love, inside my own soul
caressing myself everyday
finally to make way
for myself.

A dog in the street
with such an innocence
it expresses as if in a dream
waging its tail
while it follows me everywhere
didn't know to what give
but I knew it for sure
it needed some love
which went missing!

Down the road
I walk pass by the nature
endless roads, sunset
lake, birds flying
showing me how to pause
& to enjoy the
fleeting moments
of life
endless happiness
all by my side
I look here & there
to share the joy
of nature's love
but found none.

Understood

That nature & me are one
enjoying being whole again
healing me with all its power
like baby on its womb
caressing me with all the winds
and showering its love
over-brimming!

Ek dost Tha Mera
Rehta Tha dur sheher me
Aata Tha kabhi kabar
Dher saare khushiyaan lekar
Din ya raat **, hasna muskurana,
Kabhi Kam na hota tha..

Jab bhi aata Tha
Har Roz milta Tha
Bohot der tak rukne ko taiyyar tha
Kabhi bola nahi-
K nahi yaar, aaj nahi.

Din badal Gaye mahine me,
Aur mujhe degaya har khushi
Jo kabhi mile na the!

Par ek din aisa bhi aaya,
Jab wo ghar Chala Gaya
Aur wapas kab aayega
Pata na tha..

Din, mahine bidte gaye
Par Akhon me asha kabhi na miti!
Usey bol to nahi payi
K dost kabhi to aa..

Ab har din naye dost banati hu
Hasti hu, khilkhilati hu,
Khush rehne ki koshish karti hu.
Din ya raat bahar rehti hu
Is umeed me k har Hawa me kabhi
Tu mil Jaye mujhe
Aur har din
Tere yaad me guzar leti hu..

Kabhi to aayega tu..
Din mahine saal
Shayed beet Jaye..

Kabhi to aayega tu..

English translation-

I had a friend,
Who stayed in another city,
Used to visit me every other day,
Bringing loads of happiness altogether
Without any shortage of Smiles or laughter.

Whenever he was here,
Everyday he used to meet me
Was ready to wait for me long
Never said, no today I can't.

Days passes by
And months too
And he gave me all happiness
And everyday seemed like a festival
Which I never had a chance to live!

But there came a day
When he had to return back home
Never knew when he would be back!

Days passed by
and months too.
But in my eyes,
Hopes never extinguished,
Never ever had I said
That friend- come back soon.

Everyday I make new friends
I smile, I laugh out loud.
I try to be happy
each and every day.
Day or night, I stay out
In the hopes of life
that the winds would
bring me closer to you.
And everyday I live
in the memories of you

May be someday
I would see you,
Days, months, years
Might pass by too,
May be someday..

Someday you will be back too..

Walk through the
meadow of mistakes
not to overburden
but to climb through its alp
blunders after blunders
it might seem
but anyways keep climbing
not on the same mistake
but different ones each time
luck will find you a way
sooner to sway
awaiting to reach the
peak amidst the hay
with the ocean breeze
caressing away...

A manager's role
in the process
out of the blue
didn't know
it would come to me
so soon.

A manager's role
in brief how it looks
to me...

Manage yourself
sort out time,
work
and in-between
manage other people
along with solving problems
of mine as well as others.

A character it is,
to carry out & lead
and figuring out
how it is supposed to be!

What is love?

I call it you.
A soul of you
Resides within me
To make me fly around you
You come to meet me
To be with me
I feel blessed to have you
Although I would never tell you
That I love you
But my meaning of love
Is you..and to keep loving you.

You keep coming back
To meet me from far off
And I come to meet you into your soul
Hug me tightly and let me in,
I would always be there

To be a part of you.

You all are the thorns in my heart
Sharp pinching memories
hurt me all across from within & out!

But with love when all of you take shape
I melt like a chocolate ice-cream cone
Would do anything,
to be with all of you.

One more Friday..
one more weekend arrived
And
I would just sit back
no looking around
no more rushing
no more chasing
just me all around..
Its Time to relax &
No more hindrance
but only me & my time!

I left you behind
And you are nowhere
to be seen around,
I won't look back or
crawl back to find you
where you have been..
I know you are well..
And that is more than enough for me
I liked you though,
to an extend which i don't know..
But that perfect tranquility
came across when i spoke with you
all over again..
I won't say it was hope but
reading those two lines sent by you
made sense all over again.
You know now i will always
be missing you but one thing
You still unaware of is that,
You cannot take back our memories.
you cannot take back yourself from me
coz i would always be holding
A piece of you within me.
And yes, i would never look back
as I already have all the beauty around me.
Love no longer haunts me
rather I have fallen in love
with everything i see..
So you better be where you are
And me with - me and a piece of you
Never to be snatched again
As it is already limitlessly ingrained within me!

There are times,
You take the sword
You take the shield
And keep fighting
Within your mind
Not knowing
Whom to hurt
and whom to save!

Let's just throw the sword
And the shield
Conquer from within
Let it hurt
Until, the mind wires
And rewires
To form a new You!

My poet friends no longer are here to read
they are long gone...where I do not know.
Not a single clue at all
as we all are wrecked
yes, I know and its all out of the blue.
Life changes suddenly & I get it!
When things doesn't go our way
we take a backseat or just choose to leave.
Is it possible in some way
that some reconsideration of substitute
would heal us from beneath?

I need those bonds of friendship back
I need those sensitivity which would make me
come out alive..
Yes, I need it all back!!

I miss the night walking with you
The laughter and fooling around
and
Holding you tight
more than ever.
No doubt,
I miss the love of you
A treasure I have longed for
more than half of my life.

You make me wait
For months and hours long
And I wonder now
Do you wish to love me more
Or to spend the time
So as to forget your loneliness?

I saw few people
Of middle class & poor.
Went to a bakery
To eat.

I was one of them
To eat alone
Having money to eat
but no one to accompany.

Some people came together
They too wanted to eat
But with less money
They thought twice & thrice
what to eat &
what would cost less
Their only worry was
Although they were together
But with less of money
So they chose the items
Which they could afford.

They all ate and
went back together
I ate and came back alone
on my own.

A friend you are
More than before
Fleets by time
Making me
wait for long
Hours,weeks,
months as it goes,
I wonder now
I have never waited
for someone for so long!

But the memories of you
keeps me intact
Though missing you
makes me unwell
out of nowhere.

The night walks with you
and the tight hugs
Under the blue moon
The laughter and
the long drives
Infinite memories
of you to recall.

Only with the hope that
I would see you soon!

People move on
Like dust in the air
Leaving behind the memories
Of the sunshine within the dark.
Let the sunshine inculcate & grow
To fill up our holes beneath the heart.

With each one of you
In my life,
our time
might never be enough!

But what counts more
is the beauty
of our crafted bond,

With all
the differences
yet we keep

growing,
blooming
wilting
and
growing
all over again!

Yet bearing all kinds
of storms
and the
seasonal changes,

We never cease
to love and care
for each other!


And that's what makes
it special always, always!


Love you all
For all the
beautiful thrills!

- Debby :)

My birthday
An elevation in Life
Of 27 years
Seems like a life
renewed with
new experiences
All over again.
My body, soul
My heart & my goal
Stand tall
Hiding the pain
& Sadness to all
I am more mature.

Utmost Love,
wishes & gifts
Happy moments
Spent with loved ones
To be kept safe
In the core of my heart.

I cut the cake
But while blowing the candle
I had no wish to say
I am grateful enough
For the love
I got throughout
my life.