Under this siren's spell my heart buckles
I want you forever
But time has taking us apart
There's still shadows of you in my heart
I cry out for you in my tears
As a plea for help
But you ignore my pleas

We loved
Fought  broke
I loved and loved
Until there was no more love to give
And it still wasn't enough for you
You left when I begged you to stay
Handed my heart back
Didn't look back
You seen it in my eyes
The hurt it was written on my face

I overdose on you
Im like a ****** needing a fix
Doing everything I can to have you
I can't quit you even if I tried
Its heaven and hell your highs and lows
Im addicted to your love
I crave your voice
I can't let you go because I'm so tangled up in you
Ive convinced myself I need you

Wipe away your tears girl
Crying won't change it
Laughing will repair it
That's it
There you go
Life is short
Don't live it broken
That's what they say
I don't buy it
You see when the tears stain my eyes
That's when I feel a live
So when I lay in bed
I cry
No one sees
All they see is the smile
During the day
They fill me with pills
Here take this you'll feel better
They say
It doesn't work that way
See I'm the kind that feels lost without her tears
Fill me with the pills that steals the tears

All I have left are
Dead dreams and broken promises
They are lost at sea
No one can find them but me
I tried to draw you a map
To my heart
But you threw it away

His a ******
I never suspected
I blinked and was in love
Blinked again and my heart was broken
Your alive if you want to call it that
You blinked and lost yourself
Blinked again and lost me

When will I learn?
I don't need to crash and burn
I don't need your hand under my bra
To feel alive
I don't need your mouth on mine
To breathe
They love what I do not what I am
Its not about you its the fact that I feel broken
Cant you understand
When you say bye I know I'll never see you again
And sometimes there is no bye
So why do I do it
The first one was emotions
I cried for days
No text, No text
I broke, I fell
It wasn't my fault
He fed me a bunch of lies
And of course I believed them
Hell I was innocent
Never touched, never kissed

Just kiss my haunted lips
And now you're haunted too
With my haunted thoughts
Darkness engulfs my mind
But you're the only light coming through
But now it haunts you too
How does it feel to share my ghost of the past
To know wherever you go it's there to
You can never let it go because it haunts your mind
When you think its gone
It haunts you even more
If you let it consume you
It will become you
And we cant conquer it because we don't even know what it is
All I know is it haunts me and now it haunts you to

I'm reaching and reaching
But never finding what I need
I'm grabbing the wrong things
Love and ***
Alcohol and drugs
Self harm

Those things wont fix you
If anything they leave you more broken

Love and ***
Is just a temporary feeling
That leaves you with a broken heart
Alcohol and drugs
Don't fix a broken heart
It just leaves you with a false sense of happiness
Self harm
Might  help in the moment
But it leaves scars deeper than the skin

I don't need any of that
I need to start grabbing
Love for myself
Self confidence
Self acceptances

I need to stop reaching for the wrong things

Shy blue eyed girl has your heart
She looks so innocent with her baby face
And pretty blue eyes
When her hair falls in her face
You push it away and kiss her
When you are laying there you hold her tight
She is the kind that people can't help but take care of
It's the face the way it turns red
Her pretty sad eyes
It pulls you in
You can never be mad at a face like that
Some say its a gift she knows its a curse

Carefree pretty faced boy
His smirk gets her every time
His smile melts her heart
Even his voice is cute
The way he calls her baby girl
He makes her feel high just with his smile
Everything about him gives her butterflies
He helps her thoughts make sense
She can say the craziest things
And he can make sense of it all
The way he smells like cigarettes and something else
Drives her crazy

Are they ready for it
This crazy ride that's about to happen
What we have is weird
But I know it's true
I don't think its possible to fake something like this
It drives me crazy the way you make me feel
How did I live without you
But even more how did this happen
Im falling for you slowly
I want to go as fast as I can
But we need to slow down
To make it last

My mind is my prison
I count to four
Everyday all day
Don't ask me why its four
Or why I count
You feel my fingers counting 1 2 3 4
I have to kiss you 4 times before I go
I have my routine of 1 2 3 4s
I replay conversions in my head 4 times 4 times
One it haunt me in my sleep
Two it haunts me all day
Three it takes me
Four it drives me crazy

The girl that loved you is gone
You pushed her away
And left her to many times
You let her down
I don't think she will ever be back
We lost her a long time ago

Why do you do it destroy yourself like you do
Your better than you think you are
You had a past but you do have a future
Don't let your past take it away
Mistakes of a teenage boy running into adult hood
Covered by a smoky drunken haze
Drugs fills your head making it foggy
You take hands fulls of pills to push your fate
The rush the burn the way it makes you feel up
I don't understand it

To much drink
Brought up old memories
She couldn't remember
Buried deep forever forgotten
She remembers her countless lovers
Who loved her body but not her soul
She remembers who she used to be
He remembers the stories she's told him

When did it change
When did we break
What made you leave
What made me stay
My heart is broken
And you're just fine
Im waiting on you
While you're moving on

I grabbed the happiness
And choked you with my obsessiveness
My desperate attempt to keep you
Just pushed you away
And now I'm obsessing over the fact that I obsessed
I grabbed on to the only happiness in my sea of sad
Now I'm left here drowning
I guess I'm saying you were my life jacket
But I sunk myself trying to keep afloat
You wanted to stay and save me
Instead I just kept pushing myself under
With every obsessive thought
Every second guess
Every time I freaked out and sent you text after text
Asking the same questions over and over
I pushed you away as I pushed myself further under
And now I'm left in my sea of sadness
With only the memory of you

You can't blame me for what you've done
I can't help you pushed me away
I can't help you traveled miles away from my heart
I can't help the journey I had to take
To make my way back from your mistakes
You don't know the roads I've traveled
The tears I've cried the scars I've earned
The battles I've battled because of you
You don't know my story because you never tried
You can't expect me to feel the same after everything

I needed you where are you
I needed you who are you
I love you where are you
I love you who are you
Im yours where are you
Im yours who are you
Who have I fallen in love with
And love where have you gone
Your no longer here by my side
Where are you
Im yours I need you
I love you
Where are you

You run and hide
Playing hide and seek with my heart
When I find you
You keep hiding in darker places
Its not fair
You are much better at this game than I am

Go find another broken girl
And then break her even more
Leave her in more pieces than before
She will never know what hit her

Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I wont miss you
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean Im not crying
Just because Im leaving
Doesn't mean my hearts not breaking
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I care about you any less
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I don't think of you everyday
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I don't want you to stay
Just because I'm leaving
Doesn't mean I want to go
I'm leaving because
I can't live in a world where I never know
We fight and you leave and it breaks my heart every time
Were only happy for 2 weeks at a time
That's why I'm leaving
My feelings for you hasn't changed  
I just hate feeling like my life is out of control

Cutter cutter heres your lullaby
Take this knife and slice it away
Cutter cutter it won't be ok
Cutter cutter make me bleed
The voices in your head tell the truth
Cut away the pain its the only way
Cutter cutter you won't be ok
Cutter cutter go deeper
So many scars on her skin
They tell the story of her
Cutter cutter your scars tell you past
Cutter cutter how much longer
One day you might go to deep
Cutter cutter it'll get better
Cutter cutter cut no more

They all seem so disposable
It hasn't always been like this
I once was the disposable one
The one that didn't matter
The one trying to keep her composure
I used to care to much
And now I care so little
I used to get head over my heels so easily
But the words coming out of their mouths weren't real
And I learned not to be the foolish girl
The one standing there looking like an idiot  
So instead I leave before they can
Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out
Running away like this

Lover can I give you my heart
Stay and never leave
Love me forever
Close your eyes and go at it wildly
Tell me I'm what's missing
Let me know I won your heart
Kiss me in the dark
Hold my hand like you never want to let it go
Love me and let me know
Love me forever and ever and never let me go

I want to go back to the beginning
When our love was fresh and new
And we haven't hurt each other
Back to when you were a mystery  
Before I knew all your demons
When our story wasn't written in pain

Im a quiet person
I might come off rude or unfriendly
But get to know me
And you will see
Im not rude or unfriendly
Im just Brittany

What if I told you that girl over there.
Yeah the one you just complimented on how skinny she's gotten.
What if I told you that that girl is starving.
Starving in so many ways.
Yes she is hungry. In the literal way and metaphorical way.
She is starving but it goes deeper than that.
She wants to be seen. She wants love. She wants life.
She wants happiness. She wants to be pretty. She wants the things you do.
Hell she doesnt know what it is she wants anymore.
Maybe she is just like you in away.
She cant even pinpoint when she decided this for herself.
Maybe it was the first compliment. The first time a guy looked at her.
The first time someone told her she was pretty.
She wanted to be prettier skinnier better.
She doesnt even realize she is living in hell, or maybe she does and doesnt care.
She wants all these things that much. That she doesnt care.
And you are "feeding" into that with every compliment, every look and every word.
She has made herself weak. Weak in so may ways.
Mentally and physically. Now look again. You see it now. Dont you?
You see the circles the tiredness in her eyes.
Now look again you see the sad the hurt and the pain.
Now look again you see that she is me. Now look again she could easily be you.

Silly girl what are you doing
You're doing it again
Silly girl you're gonna get hurt
Letting someone in
Silly girl put your guard up
Silly girl what were you thinking
Crazy girl slow down
Your so intense girl
Take a breath girl
Put on the brakes
Girl
Fall and fall and fall
That's all I ever do is fall
I fall for the smile
I fall for the kisses
I fall for the cute face
I fall for the way you make me feel
I fall for you
It doesn't take much
It could be any
All it takes is the right words
And I fall
Nothing but a silly girl that falls to fast

Im done with waiting
Im over crying
I don't believe a word you say
Ive had my heart broken many times
By your broken promises
I should of learned a long time ago
Not to let myself fall for your words

I'd rather miss you than have my heart break every other week
I'd rather let you go now than have you leave next week
I'd rather feel the pain of losing you than feel it in a week
I'd rather have my heart broken now than have you break it a week from now
I'd rather say bye now than have to say bye every 7 days
I'd rather Love you than lose that feeling for you
I'd rather cry now than cry week by week
I'd rather you stay every week instead of leave

When I was a kid
I used to really dislike you
But now that you're broken
I like you
That's not the reason why
I miss you
I've always loved you
I blamed you
For all the things
That was wrong
But now without you
I wish I had you
Broken dad, why don't you
Get out of bed
Get up I want to scream
I know you would If you could
We didn't ask for this
None of us would
That November night
Changed my life
Were all broken now
All a little different
But you most of all
You got the short straw

The girl that's heart is broken
Isn't the girl she used to be
She's bitter and bruised
Her hearts like a puzzle
And He took half the pieces
She has to live without out them
As she learns how to live without him

You dont care about me
When tears are in my eyes
What goes on in my life
If I wasnt there you wouldnt care
So maybe I should take my heart
And leave you standing there

I'm sorry you fell for such a selfish girl
I wish I knew how to show you that I care
Because I care I do
I think I love you
I wish I weren't so selfish
So I could show it
Because my heart beats for you
I want to be that girl for you the one you need
The one that knows how to show she cares
I wish I could be that girl for you
Because your that guy for me
You give me everything and more
Even when I dont deserve it

We're wasting time
Holding on to each other
It's time to let go
And for me to heal
And for you to realize you will miss me
It's time for you to be the one crying
For you to feel your heart breaking
For you to feel half the pain I felt

When we met I didn't know you were hiding behind a disguise
There was something dark deep inside
When I met the real you there was no turning back
I was in love with your disguise

My heart says run straight toward you at full speed
My brain says run the other way
I think my heart is winning

You made me a bitter broken soul
But my stubborn heart won't let you go

When we met I didn't know
You had a dark secret
One that would effect my soul
And break my heart
That would change my life
You showed me things I never dreamed of
I was there when you continued down a dark road
I watched you destroy yourself
I felt my heart break every time you chose it over me
I struggled with wether I should let you go
I needed you And you needed me
But there was something else
You thought you needed more

I'm falling apart
Here without you
I don't know what to do
Memories of you flooding my mind
Tears flowing from my eyes
Im falling into a million pieces
I close my eyes and imagine
That my heart isn't breaking
That I didn't lose you
This isn't happening

She fell and she fell hard
With your lips on her lips
Butterflies flood her stomach  
Hands in her hair
Call her baby girl

I need to live without you
Breathe without you
Be without you
Find me without you
Love me without you

Im drowning all alone
No one here to save me
Im falling apart
No one to pick up the pieces
So I'm gonna save myself
Pick up my own pieces

Tears running down my cheeks
I saw your face
I didn't see pain in your eyes
Even though you were breaking my heart
I saw relief that you'd be rid of me
You never wanted anything serious
I guess it got to much for you
So you gave it up
And left me with my heart in my hands
So I had no other choice but to leave with a smile on my face

You called me today you probably thought I didn't want to talk
Because I was short and hung up fast
But the sound of your voice took me back to old times
It also made me realize that we can never be how we used to be
That the past is just that and there is no future between us
Your voice still gave me butterflies
My heart started racing like it used to
I wonder what it felt like for you to hear my voice again
And what you thought when I didn't text you back
I didn't do it to be cruel to you or because I didn't want to talk
I did it because I can't handle the sweet sound of your voice
Something so familiar and something I used to call home
Ive worked so hard to get over you
And I can't let all that be wasted just because I hear your voice
You know just how to use your words to get back in my heart
I can't go back to that just to be left again
Just to have to start healing myself again
Because you won't be back for long
It will go back to unanswered messages and missed calls
And I can't shed another tear for you

You don't abuse me but you confuse me
You never leave but your not here
Your not mean but you aren't sweet
Im not ready to let you go
Even if that means I'm gonna break my own heart
I feel like Im ripping it out and throwing it on the ground
But either way I feel that way
With or without you
So I might as well keep you
Right?
Just to have you