I saw your face today
I don't know if it was a dream or reality
You know when you lose someone
You start to imagine that they're there
Holding your hand
And maybe they are
Sometimes I hear your voice
I know its not there
It's gone forever
Its a voice I've heard for 20 years
And now it's no more
It's gone
That Beautiful strong voice
Is no more
Yes it hurts
Everyday I long to hear it
Once more, Just one more time
Why'd you have to leave
At such a sad time
I miss you
I miss your nicknames
You had one for everybody
I could say I missed your smile
Honestly I can't remember it
But oh how I miss you

I wrote a story I shouldn't of wrote
Met a character I shouldn't of met
Known a face I shouldnt of known
Felt at home where I shouldn't of been
Thought I was safe when I never was
Fell in love with a heart that was cold
Made soul mates with a shadow
Gave my heart to a empty shelf
All because your lips hit my lips like pen to paper

Stay never leaving
Its confusing
Never knowing where you're going
I feel like you don't want me anymore
Staying just because I need you
Just because I asked
Not because you want to be here
I don't want you to stay somewhere you don't want to be
Just for me
I feel like its time to let you go
I wish we could last forever and ever
But now I know nothing last forever and ever
Feeling fade and your feeling for me has faded
Im not gonna make you stay just for me
Im gonna say bye because that's what you need
You need me to give you the ok
To leave

I can't forget you
All I can do is miss you
I love you and I can't stop
My heart doesn't know how to

The pain
Still lingers
It bubbles up inside
And out my eyes
Pouring down my cheeks
Aching the empty space in my chest
The left over memories
Overwhelming my mind
And takes my breath

I've got a scar for every memory
Etched up and down my thighs
A different story on each wrist
A reminder of all the pain
I've endured through the years
Written all over my body
I used to regret it
But now I embrace it
Because I'm a survivor

Sun burnt skin and broken hearted
Confused heart and more complicated
Chasing love and wanting more
In my dreams I'm over it
Am I over it or am I Jaded
All my energy into chasing you
I could of spent it getting over you
I told you I'm over you I'm not
But that's a step closer to getting past you

Your kisses are whispers left on my lips
That tells the story of us
What is the story of us
Somewhere it got confused
Jumbled up in time
Were we real or just a dream
A dream I dreamed up
Or maybe you dreamed it up first
Because you were the one that said all the things
I dream of

Our love was brewed up by a storm
I was like a twister out of control and dying
You were like lightening flashing rain falling
And together we destroyed everything thing in our paths
Including ourselves  
You rained on my heart as I tore you apart
Now that I look back I see the destructive path we were on
And I wish I could stop us

I will miss these walls
They've been apart of me
They've watched me grow
And let me go
Its gonna be sad to see it go
But its time to go pack
It's time to say bye
Not a see ya later
or a come again
Its a permanent bye that I can't handle
And then I look back
I see the jumbled up mess its became
And I know I have to say bye
Its time

Time went by
I didn't move on
I just cried
I thought about you
I spent my days loving you
Time went by
You moved on
You didn't cry
You didn't think about me
You realized you didn't love me
And time went by

I wish I may
I wish I might
Have you back tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might
Feel your touch tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might
Hear your voice tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might
Be in your arms tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might
see your smile tonight

Won't you come back tonight
I want you back tonight
I wish I wish I wish

Turn the music up and just forget the world
Rather it be singing along
Or dancing
Laying in your bed crying while the lyrics speaks to you
Turn the music up and let the world go

What if I told you that girl over there.
Yeah the one you just complimented on how skinny she's gotten.
What if I told you that that girl is staving.
Staving in so many ways.
Yes she is hungry. In the literal way and metaphorical way.
She is starving but it goes deeper than that.
She wants to be seen. She wants love. She wants life.
She wants happiness. She wants to be pretty. She wants the things you do.
Hell she doesnt know what it is she wants anymore.
Maybe she is just like you in away.
She cant even pinpoint when she decided this for herself.
Maybe it was the first compliment. The first time a guy looked at her.
The first time someone told her she was pretty.
She wanted to be prettier skinnier better.
She doesnt even realize she is living in hell, or maybe she does and doesnt care.
She wants all these things that much. That she doesnt care.
And you are "feeding" into that with every compliment, every look and every word.
She has made herself weak. Weak in so may ways.
Mentally and physically. Now look again. You see it now. Dont you?
You see the circles the tiredness in her eyes.
Now look again you see the sad the hurt and the pain.
Now look again you see that she is me. Now look again she could easily be you.

There's a beginning a middle and a end
You weren't in my beginning
I don't know if you will be in my end
But oh the middle was so sweet
Where my heart bubbled with love
My soul was made new
And there I grew

Im giving up on love
Because the only one my heart wants to love is you
I ripped out my heart just to give it to you
You handed it back broken and cold
Sad and old used up and put back together
Turned my world upside down
Took my love without a care
No thought behind it
You didn't care
As long as you had want you needed
Didn't think about the girl behind it just about the love that made you feel whole

With eyeliner running down her face
The world weighing heavy on her shoulders
With her heart breaking
Her light fading
With tears in her eyes
She speaks the words I'm fine
And they believe her

I wish I never met you and I wish we never did it.
When you said hey I should of said bye.
When you said lets hang I should of said no.
When you leaned in to kiss me I should of stopped you.
When you said baby ill never leave you I shouldn't of believed you. When you said I want to be the first I should of asked why. 
 When we were laying in your bed we should of watched the movie. When you said you aren't worth it.
I should of asked you why you pushed it.
When you said I freaked you out when I panicked.
I should of asked you why you did it.
Just because I said I wanted it and covered the fact I was terrified.
Didn't mean you had to treat me like I knew what I was doing.

I'm crumbling
Underneath all this pain
Like a historical building
After a hurricane
The devastation so dramatic
It's hard to rebuild
What you destroyed
Your words hit me
Like 150 miles per hour wind
Salty tears like ocean water
Taking over everything
Your hatred drowns me
My life completely changed
You destroyed something beautiful
In the matter of minutes

You come and you go like we're a game
See how far you can push me until I break
And when I break you pick me up again
Just to break me back down again
What game are we playing here
See how hard your words hit
And how your sudden silence kills me
If you ask me its a sick game we play
But like you said its a two player game
You play your part and I play mine
I just lose every time

I never got addicted to the drugs
Every time I snorted it
And felt the burn
the foggiest that over took my mind
It wasn't the drugs
It was the boy that introduced me
That was my addiction
My downward spiral
That's where I lost myself
In his arms
I craved his lips
Not his pills
I wanted his love
Not his drugs

I hate that you've ruined my love for you
That you took something so good and made it painful
I feel betrayed by you

When you left
I broke and lost pieces of myself
You still have them
They belong to you now
I will never be the girl I used to be
You hold her in your memories and thats the only place she will ever be
When you come back I wont be the girl you remember
You wont recognize me
Your love changed me
And when you left me it changed me more

The scars on my heart doesnt make me weak it means my heart has been in love before

The knifes to her wrist
The pills in her hand
The tub is full of water
She is a terrible person
Never should of been born
So she's just righting the mistake
Right?
No wrong done here
Just fixing the problem
Without her you'd all be happy
So don't mourn her
Forget her
Like she was never there
Erase her from your memory
That'd be better right?
So she takes the pills
She drags the knife across her skin
She sinks down into the water
She is gone
No more wrong

My puzzle pieces are mix matched
Theres missing pieces and some that doesn't fit
And some that just doesn't make sense
But someone once told me
You are made of many  puzzles
And sometimes the puzzles get mixed up
Theres this part of you
And this story
And sometimes the pieces get scrambled together
And they don't make sense
So you have to put it back together
Fix your puzzles
Fix yourself

I speak your name
It feels so good on my tongue
It escapes my lips
In a whisper in a scream
My eyes cry for you
Runs down my face like a river
My heart is yours and always will be
It beats your name
My soul aches for you
It hurts not feeling you
I love you

You don't need it
I can be your drug
Because you are mine
When I kiss you its like I took a hit
When you touch me its like I had a line
When we kiss my heart starts beating fast
Mind starts racing
I want you to be addicted to my love not a drug
Baby put it down and let me love you

Why'd you'd have to go
And leave me with a broken heart
Why'd you have to go
And leave me with nothing but memories
Why'd you have to go
And leave me with nothing but tears
Why'd you have to go

I want you
And I wanted you to stay
But now that your gone
I want you to stay gone
But I can't stop missing you
So you might as well come back

Ill break your heart and I won't think twice
I have a sweet face but a dark heart
Is this what you wanted
I used to be the girl that matched her smile
And you left and I broke and I started breaking hearts

Love love is strange
It makes you happy and sad all at once
Holds you and lets you go
Love makes you who you are it changes you
It hurts it heals
It can make you bitter and broken
Tear your soul apart
Make you a cold heart

Ill follow you down even as I break
Ill hold on to you as long as I can
Its dangerous and uncontrollable  
My love for you
Its something I hate and something I love
I let you wear me down
I don't care what it does to me as long as I have you

I finally see
Through all these tears
We can't be
More crying nights
Heart aching she feels it breaking
And with this broken heart
She sees it in her eyes
How much she hurts over him
She can't seem to let the memories go
But she knows its breaking her its changing her
And she can't help but wonder is it worth the tears

I wait and wait
For you to come back
While I'm waiting do you think about me?
Do you miss me
Because when you do this to me
I feel like I'm dying
This is not a game
You break my heart every time
So why do I stay
Why do you leave
And why do you come back
Even more why do I let you
I know the happiness we share doesn't last
As soon as it gets good you leave
And my heart breaks over and over
So why do we do this to each other
Why do you stay and why do I let you
Somethings got to give
We can't keep going like this
So Ive made the decision
Not to let you stay this time
Im sorry baby but I can't do this anymore
My heart breaks and breaks
Now one big break and the tiny breaks are gone

Ive lost you so many times
I think Im strong enough
That I don't need you now
Ive cried until my eyes are tired
Ive laid in bed thinking about you for to long
I broke and I broke
Until I can't break anymore
I loved and I loved
Until I can't love you anymore
Not the way I used to
And boy did I love you

You left so I moved on
And in your eyes it was easy
But if you seen me break and cry
You would see I had no choice
But to let it go
I remembered all the memories of us
I went through them like a movie
When you first left
I thought it it would never be ok
That it would be this way forever
But the day I moved on
Was the day I knew I could live without you

Without you I'm falling apart
With you I'm breaking down
Before you I didn't know what I was missing
I wish I never knew what it felt to be yours
Because now I'm lost

I met you
My whole life changed
At first it was good
Then we took a turn for the worst
Im broken hearted
Full of tears
I spend my days missing you
Waiting for you
Asking myself if its worth it
If you love me
Second guessing myself

I could say it was love
The kind that would thaw a heart
The kind that would make you new
And not so sad
But its reality
So it didn't happen like that
It didn't melt my heart
It did the opposite of that
It made me sadder
Because for him it was just lust
I remember every word he said
Every touch we shared
Each time his lips touched mine
I could ask him if he remembers
But I already know the answer
Ive heard it so many times before
"That was months ago"
I'm sick of those words
Because it was more than that to me
Not just time pasted
For me it dragged on
And I had no choice but to move on
Im not gonna be all dramatic and say I regret it
But I regret it
I lied im dramatic

Another life broken
Adiction taking over
Hearts around you breaking
Nothing effects you
But another hit
In a haze that makes you forget
Your innocents is gone
What have you done
Where did you go
I lost you in the smoke
I cant go any futher
Im losing myself
Trying to reach you
Im getting ****** in
Trying to pull you out

When will my eyes run out of tears
My heart no longer be filled with pain
When will my eyes no longer long for your face
My mind stop racing with old memories
When will I let you go

Im scared to drown
And be left there on the bottom
While you are floating on the surface
Would you jump back in to save me
What if I drown you trying to save myself
And were both left there gasping for air at the bottom
Because you would try to save me
It's who you are
And I would try to survive
That's who I am
And when our lifeless bodies float to the surface
Were still holding hands
Because you never let go and neither did I
It's not fair
We died because one didnt want to get hurt again
And one just wanted what he felt

If I could write our story
It'd be us happy together forever
No leaving no drugs
There would be more laughing
Less fighting

I just want you happy
I want you ok and if that means life without me
Im ok with it as long as you're ok
Because you're my one the one that will haunt me
The one I never really will be over
The one that changed my life
The one that I want happy even if that cant be with me
Even if you hate me or love me or cant handle me
Even if that means a life without you as long as you ok
Im ok with it
Im struggling without you sometimes it hurts to breathe
Sometimes I wonder if you think about me
Sometimes I crave your touch your kiss
Your voice your everything but all of that doesnt matter to me
As long as you're ok
Because  you matter to me

My love for you changed me and when you left that changed me too

I feel like I'm drowning
Sinking to the bottom
Of the ocean
To heavy to stay a float
Screaming for help
My words drowning me
Panic shoots through my body
As I realize no one can save me
I'm fighting to stay a float
Tiring myself out
I'm dying faster
The more I struggle to stay alive
I'm killing myself trying to save myself

I need you like a drug
I thought one more hit
Wouldn't do any harm
So I took another
Thats all it took to get hooked
You made be feel so high
The withdraws was always the worst
Late nights craving you
Wanting you feeling like I needed you
You have your drugs and I have you
I don't know which one of us is more addicted

It's different now
My feeling are still the same
But I don't want to get to invested
You leave every second
And I can't take it
I will always care about you
But that doesn't mean I will always stay
Because one day one day
I'm gonna have enough
And its gonna break my heart
But I can't keep going in circles with my emotions