Sometimes I feel like,
your mind could live a life of its own.
Few like yours are left now.
If only I could take your brain from your skull and
draw out the knowledge and the wonder,
squeeze it with mine,
our multi-faceted intelligence meshed together like a badly made clay sculpture.
Like a library of what is.
Then I could keep you forever.

It's just that I needed to know more before you left.

I feel as if I'm trapped in a room
full of things I can't see.
I squint and stare but can't make out
the shapes, the figure.

Something swirls between the shadows,
clear spirit like holographs of you watch
intently.

It makes no sense
I sleep then I ache

but I don't want you to ever leave me alone.

How do I show you
what we’ve shared before,
but in this dazzling new light

that beams the buildings purple and the waves orange,
Those gentle pushes and playful wordplay,
All those mindless hours and miles of beach?

How do I tell you
I want us to be more than just
outlaws in these empty streets?

Is now a better time than ever?
Or has boredom kicked at the time we have just got back on our feet?

i had an affair with my last job
but her wife found out

Caged bird set free
but what is she free from?
Security, protection and a helicopter that span above her head...just to make sure.
She’s free from a myriad of ‘where were you!’s and numerous raised words.
She’s free from a yellow orangey pink sunny kind of life.
Now the bubble’s popped.

She only has the yellow orangey pink of a sunset,
that’s where the problems really start.

Tears of an unknown spirit patter on my head

Tears of a spirit lost in a world of twists and turns
Gush out of my eyes

What is it for?
All this turmoil, the inner battles
I have with myself each day to try to keep floating

What is it for?
And what is the point of floating anyway
If it causes these controls?

What is it for?
Do I even have to be what I am?
What  they  say I am?

What is it for?
All my life's work to be seen as a life wasted


Unsure and confused
About what it's all for.

Eyes, those deep brown eyes
dance around
but stay calm, quiet, docile
as they meet mine.

Mouth like a child
your voice like a wave, it ripples across the room,
I can see the desert island and the palm trees.

Nose, ears, cheeks, jaw
carved by the Gods.

You amaze me

what do i do?
My technicolour bliss has turned black and white
those glowing hues have travelled four thousand miles across the north atlantic
A great big ocean drains my colour
secures the distance

All I want is to reach out and touch arms, touch hands, touch fingertips,
those sparks that zig-zag around
streaming rainbows in all forms of the word

Now, we're two souls in solitary.
not alone together, just alone
How can it be us against the world if we're on different sides of it?
I can't keep this distance.

circle circle circle circle
no corners yet I fall in
to the pattern each time.

each time I keep to my bubble
you just pierce the skin and I seep out
into your circle

circle circle I am gassed
can't breathe for myself

I think of you as a flower
albeit a rose with thorns but a flower still the same
But what you are is not a flower
or anything that grows or smells as sweet.

You poison me with you circle circle circle
circle until I'm sliding down the side only to sink as you open the shaft and throw me overboard.

Circle Circle Circle Circle
Circle I can't seem to keep myself out of your circle
circle circle.

I was up all night again,
swirling thoughts of you,
maybe on the beach,
Smoking a *** or two,

Our paths keep crossing but at the wrong time,
We just build each other up, and then a sharp decline
Remember that sleeping city, on that Sunday night?
Your credit card and then the morning fright.

You can't deny it,  we've always known,
feelings looming but they have grown
again
One day our time will come, it's written on our gravestone

When I try to understand,
The knots in my brain tighten just that little bit more.

I'm sorry we failed you.

Roll up! Roll up!
Examine the corrupt,
the nose, hair, the olive of skin.
Dishonourable, alloyed blood.

Rub, Rub
I can't get it off.
grate, burn, scour,
I can only cleanse, gloss, polish.

Look! Come and see
the fresh, clean impurity.
Lay on the table,
sparkling shimmering.
We cannot control these sinful things.

Happiness, in the pursuit of love
You do the maths, I'll do the laughing.

Think you know?
-think you've cracked the secret code?
You do the maths, I'll do the laughing.

When you look into someone's eye
and see yourself, don't be fooled
You are set to fail.

But when I look at someone and don't see my reflection in their soul,
I run rings around the code,
They think they have me

Grabbing all directions for a memory
How could these heart-wrenching desperate uncontrollable indescribable thoughts
Be something that is wanted?

How the ****
DO I let you run these rings around MY code?
It's not fair and I won't allow it


Happiness, in the pursuit of love
You do the maths, I'll do the laughing.

sun, moon, sea
yet your power is the strongest
the capability
is all yours to pull me under
send me down

and I hate you for that.

it's not fair that some people are inevitably unbearable,
those you have to see, have to thank
simply by the blood connection

well, I've had enough.
no more power for you
just for the sun, moon, sea

i sometimes think
that you don't care
or maybe
that you dont realise
the pain you spark
inside my soul,
but also inside the house
the sadness is in the air
and breathing is a necessity
but it's hard to keep doing that with the contamination

every inch of my blonde hair belongs to your fingertips
and every freckle on my cheeks are your eyes'

A shard of ice, a burning flame
I'm dying to forget your name.

deep
down under
There are things no one knows
nor understands
not quite yet.
They've drowned within you,
Because they were too heavy for you to take on
and one day they will resurface
but not quite yet.
THEN FIRE
crashing and burning
but we all know that water will extinguish the rising flames inside you
so you put it back in the bottle
for it to drown again
but not quite yet.
For sometimes these feelings are uncontrollable
and we have to embrace pain
suffering is inevitable

the drowning is what kills you.

I hate this
The way you make me feel.

I cry
Every
Single
Day that I don’t see you
Obsessive over little things,
My mind runs at 1000 miles per hour.

Your eyes: green, orange too,
I could study them for days and see something new every minute.

You make me laugh to my stomach - I think you’re the first to ever do that
And you make me wail in sadness - I think you’re the first for that too
I’m losing my mind

Not everyone can accept you
It takes time
But all will be ok because people will realise that you are who you are
And no one can change that.

So let’s run away
Rob a bank
Hot-wire a car
Or just live one day at a time

I love this

They replaced the road.
with a different colour.
A much lighter grey,
then the other tiles,
that overlap and flow.

They replaced the road,
to mask the crimson red,
to stop children from seeing splatters on the tile,
growing up too young.

They replaced the road
so that we don't have to see
as those who are gone are always forgotten.

But we won't forget you,
who made us realise the impermanence
Too young, we are for this.

They replaced the road,
But I don't go there anymore
I don't see the lighter grey,
of which crimson used to be,
before, there was security
a bliss of ignorance.

Becuase with every loss of life,
there comes new
a new feeling
a new sadness
a new road tile.

What else has been covered up?

How funny is it,
that tomorrow is your birthday,
And you're not here to celebrate?

How odd is it,
That you, beyond life
seem to have such an effect on those of us
that still have to wake up in the morning?

How crazy is it,
that this time last year,
bubbly and bright,
You would wake up, another year old?

This year is different

You're gone
gone- what a funny word.

This year, your birthday will be full of tears,
rocked with an abyss of depression and guilt.

This year is one to feel lonely

How funny is it,
that tomorrow is your birthday,
And you're not here to celebrate?