"Who should defend the moon if not the poets?"
Set the fires, let them burn.
The poets are watching,
Hold their gaze, stare them down.

Let them watch you, I vouch on their behalf, they will fall in love.
See how they defend all that their eyes linger upon.
You get to leave, but being forgotten is not your choice.

I wonder if like witches, the poets too were shunned.
Unanimously void of acceptance,
they hear battle cries where conversations are held.

The moon, her shadows. The earth her hollows
The poets go on to fight for all that they love,
I wonder how they reached this particular sparse,
A stretch of once lush but now fading grass.
A sad willow fueled by a writer's insatiable hunger.
Its roots reach deep, and its memories never fade.
The tree sags and groans, and empty nooses swing from where once dead weight hung.

I wonder if invisibility convinced the poets, that to love is to see and
To see is to show. So showmanship became a pre-requisite of their love.
But laced with it is fierce protectiveness of where they belong.
Is that why they're quick to defend another's flaws?
Baring their pens and flexing their claws.
Finding a million reasons to adorn the ones long gone?
They keep draping their dead muses with literary scarves.
In jewels, they bend over backwards to give but never grasp.

Always an Angel, Never a god.
Always the Artist never the art.

I defend the poets, for I was cursed with a poet's heart.
We wear our scars like medals from wars and
We will love till we crumble,
I wish the poets a soft love.
The love that they write and read about.

I wish the poets, a soft love,

I identify as the lipstick stain on your cigarette ****.

Why must grief return in waves?
I can only hope,
It feels safe housed in me.

I think I understand hookups and one-night stands now.

The key to moving on is to replace all that stood before
until there stands nothing that may cause you to unravel.

Moment by moment,
conversation by conversation,  
I replace the replays,
I can't bear the thought
of another touching me, like I'm not yours.

I got another ring today, all big and loose.
It's funny how I picked this one,
it keeps slipping off my fingers like you did.
It's been two months since I last wore your ring.
I don't see a difference between them,
it feels the same on my thumb.
and that should be the end of it,
but oh well, I guess it isn't.

I walked to the grocery store, paused at an aisle,
took my time frowning over chocolate bars.
You used to get me Munch, and so I picked the Mars bar.

I don't skip meals now, (well, most days I don't)
and in place of our routine conversations,
I play a random show.

I drown noise with noise.

My days are decent.
I'm surrounded by mindless jibber jabber.
I participate.
I paste a bright smile.

“You look well now,” they say,
“Well, I am” I reply.
And I am fine. (I think I am?)
9/10 times I am.

Then in a random mundane moment,
memories of you resurface like a ring light and
in that single moment,
I let myself crumble.

“I don't want him back.
He's changed now.
So have you and so what?
If it's meant to be, it'll be.
He's the love of my life.
Well don't let him in,
when (not if) he comes back.

Do it from love, not for it.
You deserve happiness.
Both of you do.

You want love.
You are love.
The ocean doesn't look for its water,
Why will you look for what you have?

It is what it is.
and this too shall pass.”

So on and so forth my inner monologue goes on,
and I stare at my phone wondering if I can conjure you from my thoughts.

I am kinder now.
With myself, and everyone around.
I wish I were kinder to you, but I was just a child.

I know you're proud,
and I am of you too.

Do you think I can sculpt my favourite version of you?
Wait, no.
I already did that,
I loved all of you
and then everything fell apart.

My thoughts swirl and I let them play.
Incantations in my head
Obligatory 3 am, weary sighs, contempt and rage.
Oh, so much rage.
Where is the calming lull of sleep, when you need it to sedate your despair?

Resignation sets in, I play a familiar game.
I ask the universe and unbiasedly it delivers the same day.

"Universe, give me a sign, I'm really done this time.
Yellow flowers if he's coming back,
Dandelions if he's not.
Universe let me move on. This is the last time, "

In my version of He loves me, he loves me not
I break flowers, not petals.

I look for answers in colours and not action,
And then I saw a dozen Dandelions.

I hold you in songs and stories I narrate,
Turns out I was right all along.
We now know I did love you more.

We’ve had arguments before.
On who’s hurt who the most.
You’d say I did you,
And I’d yell “oh please”

You’d bring up the one time I slipped up,
And I’d hold onto the million times you let me down.
Your secrets mine, your scars mine.

Not that I was a better person, we were both kids after all.
And then I heard. you’ve been telling people.
Versions that don't exist.
What can I say,

I know we’ve had arguments before.
There will be no more.
I know it hurts, trust me,
I do.

However,
You did hurt me more.
And the price of it belongs to you.

And I’d rather walk away now,
Walk away and never come back
Irrespective of how much I miss you.
Irrespective of how it feels.
I’ll walk away, and never return.

Return to see how things could’ve been if I had stayed.

I hope in some time,
I would have moved on,
That you would replace me.

This is the way it is supposed to be.
This is the play we made to see.
It’s not our fault,
We were never meant to be.

Panic and Perplex were angels,
                   Until God, grounded them
                                                       Mid-Flight.

Hope had aileron.
Deceitful extensions.

"Oh I know"
She nodded slow


fluttering in her chest
It grasped her neck
Left her feeling hollow.

Can I be your old cardigan?
holding your scent,
your sweetest memories?

Can I be your cardigan?
the one you'd ditch
cool clothes for?

Can I be your cardigan?
The one who keeps that you warm,
even when the world keeps moving on?

Will you let me be that old cardigan of yours,
part of your unchangeable past
The solace, you keep asking for?

The last time we met,
I thought I hugged you tight enough.

Somehow it seems less now.
The stars suddenly dim,
the moon restless.
                                                     ­                                  
Hard to breathe, harder to pretend.
Pretense, because normal is non-existent
Pretense, because my happiness chose you over me.                                                                 ­              

I thought I kissed you enough.
That the world would implode if we kissed a little more.

I wouldn’t mind watching floating in the void space of darkness,
post the assumed explosion, for every night
my heart longs, aching in regret of not making the best of our time.              
                          
The last time we met, I did hold you tight.                                      
Hoping to catch your scent, trying to memorize it and guard it with my memory.

That's all there is now, a mild scent.
Evidence, a reminder.
Of life before the pandemic.

Our bodies fit perfectly
hearts racing rapidly
lips harmonising ceaselessly

Nebula gawks
making asteroids stop
No evidences,
just stars,

No one but You and I

Gleaming stones dull
In comparison,
set aside to our
brewing passion

You light my day
like carousels do
to a carnival

Would'nt be long
before you tied the nuptial
chord around my neck,
we 'd walk around the fire
hearts brimming with happiness
I ve always bet  
lights were d be dim
compared to the
way you smiled.
That's how i'll
remember when i look back.
million times where I've
thought,
there's no way you'd be
mine.
Then i wondered
if we d last,
Two years since,
We 've come far
:)

She called him, close to midnight,
his hello thawed her damp heart.
She stood silently, gripping it tight,
her knuckles, close to white.
She stood waiting some more,
unwilling to put the phone down, cut the call.
She heard a rattling breath followed by an "are you there?"
Tears fell fast as she said "forever and beyond"
She willed to give him,
a second chance.

Our hearts drummed in harmony
Souls synced invariably,
If this is 'nt love
what could be?

And, the sky too shall cry   
The silent tears I can't scream.   
Each tear drop hence,    
Shall fall down as rain with the breeze.    
Silver spindles, bright and sharp.   
Pouring down soft and slow.   
Beautiful like fading a rainbow.

I still feel your lips,
Pressing against mine.
It's slight pressure, erases the bad
Gives me hope to go through this night

i need one more of that kiss
you've burned into my memory,
some more of the warmth,
accustomed from within your arms.
I need you, i really do.

It was supposed to be a game,
Turned out to be a curare,
Hit by the same dart,
Only I writhe in pain,
I m glad you got away.

It was supposed to be a game,
Turned out to be a curare,
The hunter became the hunted,
You are to be blamed.

It was supposed to be a game,
Turned out to be a curare,
Your footsteps left my side long ago,
The memories refuse to follow.

It was supposed to be a game,
Turned out to be a curare,
It's pulled me down i dont think there's any coming back,

It's supposed to be a game,
Turned out to be a curare,
Fare thee well dear one
Fare thee well.

This is worse than any snare known,
Fare thee well dear one,
Fare thee well.

After all
It isn't as bad as your absence.
I assumed it was a game
Turned  out to be a curare
-------------

The tomorrow l live  for,
The dream I strive for,
And the reason I smile.
It'd all be you.