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fray narte Aug 22
midnights still find me retracing the moments
that led to our thousand lakeside kisses;
they were secrets left in a summer dream.
each second — a bowline knot
leading straight to our
late night drives
and vehicle breakdowns
and last minute goodbyes
at the break of dawn.

midnights still find me sleeping
next to a shoebox of the books you left;
i still hear your voice
when i read the lines
of your favorite paragraphs
the clock hands, mocking,
leading me through a maze of
memories and parking lot conversations.

midnights still find me rewriting histories
with resin-pressed flowers,
maybe the petals will point to where
i started losing you —
and maybe it's in every direction.
the black, bold numbers have become my crumbs
leading to road trips and
to all the bus stops we missed,
kissing;
now i still miss my stop
without your lips next to mine.

and midnights still find me
writing poems like these
but clearly,
you're too far off
for these words to reach.

and now, midnights still find me wanting you back.
and 'til now, midnights still find you gone.
Hiraeth Jun 13
My love for you has started to astrophy
Muscel memory only exist if you can actually remember how to use it
And my heart has been cold for a long time
Frozen in a state of anguish
I do not want it back
Because with it comes pain and heartache
I can not take it anymore
My body has had enough
It's like self flagellation
Only I never see it coming
And it ******* carries a heavy punch

It's easy to walk around and pretend
That Felicity still belongs to me
And a lot harder to live in truth and wear my pain on my sleeve, a place my heart should be
I've never really had to be in the closet before
But with this...
With this I find skeletons pilling up around
Me 
No air left to breath

I feel like I am running
Running out of time
Running out of energy
Running out of hope
And I refuse to bruise my knees
For someone who needs
More than I can give
Hiraeth Jun 9
Ten
I measure time in intervals of ten
Ten seconds;
The amount of time it takes for words to leave your lips and hit my ears like they were wrapped up in anthrax, poisonous.
Ten minutes;
The amount of time It took me to convince myself that everything you conditioned me to believe is your truth, not mine.
Ten months;
The amount of time it will take me to feel like you no longer have a hold on me, free.
Ten years;
The amount of time before All of the cracks and pieces you took from me all fine their way back, complete.
I measure time in intervals of ten,
Because ten is a hell of a lot easier than forever.
Hiraeth Jun 9
Occasionally I forget you're gone
Like when I take a few seconds
To notice the leaves have changed
The smell of cinnamon pollutes the air
But
It only ever lasts a few seconds
And then Im back
Counting down month's
Days
Minutes
Seconds
And I can not help but to wonder
When occasionally will show up agian
Pulse Apr 3
i miss the days when i was little
i miss thinking i had a home
home is safety and love and i miss that
i miss thinking i had something safe, something loving
ignorance is bliss until it swallows you whole.
because i never had a home.
i had a trap,
one that covered all its sharp edges and malicious nature,
with honeyed words and sugared actions.
one that hurt me and tore me down
while in the same breath giving me just a big enough shred of love to keep me pliant and obedient.
to keep me blind.
to make me become my own destruction

this is a poem of hiraeth my dear,
it is an acknowledgement of something i miss and something i want and something i have never had.

this is a poem of longing for a place that i can call my home,
a home where i need not worry for my safety,
where i need not be scarred.

maybe one day—
for now, the hiraeth settles into my bones and keeps its grip on my heart
in a house that is not a home,
and an empty feeling in my soul
hiraeth:  A homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was.
Disha Bhatia Mar 2
Distance is a weird phenomenon, so is time.
We were two continents apart, yet connected.
So far yet so close.
We are in the same city and yet I can't see you.
So close yet so far.
Maybe because tears often blur my vision.
I talk to you and you make everything sound so normal, like nothing ever changed.
We never stopped talking. But we never started as well. And now that you're going, I feel like you were long gone before you came back.
I think it's fair enough: we didn't meet when you left, we didn't meet when you came back.
I hope this settles the score.
Until next time,
All my love.
Jenny Umansky Feb 17
The sound of home isn’t an
ordinary sound.

It’s the sound you hear
when your laughing with
your family.
It’s the sound you hear
when a guitar plays
from the corner of your
ear.

The way his guitar strums
and makes me feel warm
Inside, like warm tea going
down your throat.

The feeling of home isn’t an
ordinary feeling.

It’s the goosebumps you get
as a leaf blows by you.
The colour orange as a
constant reminder of your
Childhood, like the rain that
drips from the grey skies.

I can not define home with
just words, but i can with
silence.

The pitter-patter of rain
immune to me to become
the silence.

No birds or grasshoppers
chirping, not even any sound
from the wild thieves with
striped tails wondering in
the night.

Only the sound of memories
repeating in my head.
And the images repeating to
bring a smile to my face.
To make me think to myself,
that’s my home and i’ll never
forget it.
gabrielle Jan 3
homesick for the home
that never been mine

homesick for the home
that never existed

missing you
that never been mine

you exist
but you were still not mine

you are my house i go back to
but never my home

you exist
but never was my home
" I am missing someone whom I love. I have loved someone who is my home, whereas, this home never existed. And my home that never existed, was never really mine. "

(i really have problems with repetitions)
MacKenzie Warren Jul 2018
when i open my eyes
all i see are the ghosts of yesterday
their silhouettes dancing along my walls
in the morning light
i see all of the promises broken
wishes left unspoken
and my heart longs for something
something it's never truly known

but when i close my eyes
i see you and i
lost in the forest of your eyes
your lips deeply pressed against mine
fireworks illuminate the sky
and for once my heart beats slowly
it doesn't long for anything
for once i feel at home
adorating Jun 2018
Hiraeth calls me
it is painful
and sometimes ineffable
I could not word it
longing, longing, longing
your name,
you know
is mellifluous

But hiraeth calls me
I'm in limerence
with the thought of you
Maybe that is why
I can not stand it
everytime you look at me
and speak
this feeling is illicit
I want you

And hiraeth calls me
I'm feeling homesick
home, home, home
to you,
you know
I can not return
you were never mine.
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