I should've held you tighter
Should've held your hands more often
Should've tell you how much i love you,
Should've tell you how much i care.
I should've kissed you
Should've give you more attention

There's so many things i should've done,
But didn't because of my egoistic self

He appeared with his ******* eyes and charming smile.
Attracting her presence
Keeping her close.
He treated her with care
And made her feel like home

But don't be fooled by his looks
For he is merely a dark soul
using girls he finds along the way
Pretending to be nice
In order to take their innocence
And leaving them broken

To the boy i loved,
But never had.

You were my love at first sight.
Or maybe you weren't.
But i was attracted to you
From the moment I've met you.

I didn't know i would end up falling for you.
I wasn't expecting you to make the first move
But every memories i had with you
Were the happiest of my life
Because your presence
Have brought my life
A meaning again
So to the boy that i love
I will always love you
Even if you weren't mine to begin with
I may not have you in person
But you will always be mine
In my dreams

Its 5am
I've been drinking
And I'm drunk
I miss you
But I don't dare to call you
I'm drunk
And there's so many things I want to tell you
But I'll just drink my feelings away

If he knows you love him
But needs time to think about it
Let him go
If he's unable to let go of his ex
You shouldn't wait on him
Because regardless of what happens
You will only be a second option to him
So let him go
Before you let yourself go

Did you know?
When you left, i lost a part of myself
Did you know,
I've been crying myself to sleep everday,
I've been regretting every moment i couldn't control my feelings,
I've been thinking about you everyday,
I've been wanting to know how you are and what you're doing
I've been losing myself a little
I've been looking at your pictures
I've been trying to let you go but its impossible
I've been trying to hate you but i only fall deeper for you.

Did you know?
A month without you
Has made me lose myself.

What is love?

If you dont even feel it from your own family.

Is it your fault?
For turning into a brat?
When you don't even know what you're suppose to turn out like.

You're just and will always be a disappointment.
No matter how hard you try to be better,
You will still be A failure
Nothing but a worthless *******.

" why did you stop smiling?"

"The reason behind my smiles,
Has already left,
Therefore,
There is nothing for me to smile again"

When I'm on my phone,
I'd stop what I'm doing
Just to reply to your messages first
And if I'm away,
Your text messages are the first that I'd reply to
But sadly
That's not the case when it comes to you
Since i know you're always on your phone
But I'm the last person you'd reply to
And I'd have to wait til the next time you look at it again in order to get a reply
See that's the difference
You're my first priority
But I'm not even a priority to you

Give me a chance
To prove to you that I'm worth it
I'll show you that we can work it out
That we can be together
But you have to trust me
Because if you cant trust me at all
Then theres no way for you to see it
So please
Give me another chance
That's all I need

I ignored all other messages
Because none of them mattered
I didn't need the other guys in my life
When the only important one was you
But now with you gone
All I'm left with a silent phone
With no notifications with your name on it

Whenever you feel like giving up,
Stop what you're doing and think.
Think carefully and look for a reason.
A reason to move forward
To keep on going

It's not the end
If you look hard enough,
You'll find the reason and will to stay.
Even if it's for a short while,
It's still a reason

A year ago,
You ruined my life.
Like a mirror when dropped,
It shattered into millions of pieces.
It can never be fixed.
It will never be the same again.
But thanks to you,
I've become stronger
In ways that I have never been.
I'm prepared
To not repeat the same mistakes again.

Maybe,
If you didn't interact with me,
We wouldn't be friends.
Maybe,
If you didn't flirt with me,
I wouldn't have fallen for you.
Maybe,
If you didn't put your arms around me,
I wouldn't made it my comfort zone.
Maybe,
If you haven't cancel our plans,
I wouldn't have ended up all sad.
Maybe,
If i could've controlled my emotions,
I wouldn't have lost you.

But i guess maybe, if i didnt meet you at all,
I wouldn't have to know how a friendship friendzone heartbreak would feel like

I wish you're still here.
Because when you're around,
All i could ever think about is you.
When I'm with you,
all of my pain disappear
even if it's just for a little while

Am i a friend?
Or am i a stranger?

There are times when i feel special
And times i feel ignored

So tell me
Where do i stand in your life?

Because you're confusing me
When im here
Wanting to be so much more to you
But i don't even know where i stand

Or could it be
The only reason for you to be close to me
Was in order to use me?
What am i ?
An object to you?
Or just a play mate?

I tried to keep myself busy
Occupied myself with work
Went out with friends
Yet,
Somehow,
I will always end up thinking of you.

You gave me your Tshirt
And it smells just like you
I didn't want wear it
I didnt want your smell to wear off
So I kept it,
I kept it by my side
But what do I do?
When your smell is fading away.
I no longer have you by my side
And the only thing left,
Is that tshirt of yours

What does it mean
When the first thing you do
The moment you see me
Is to give me a hug and a kiss

What does it mean
When we are sleeping together
And you'd kiss my back all of a sudden
As you hug me tightly in our sleep

What does it mean
When you go all the way to meet me
Even though you had plans with your friends

I don't know what it means
Because honestly
You only see me as a friend
So is there a meaning behind everything you do
Or am I delusional into thinking there is something

It's been 20 days since we fall apart
and it has been 20days since i started to lose sleep
since i began crying every night
since ive been regretting my actions
20 days felt so long
but it felt just like yesterday
when everything went downhill

i've lived this life
for so long
gone through the same thing
for the longest time
i got so numb
that i feel too empty
it hurts

It *****
When you bottle all your emotions up

When you pretend to be happy
When its clear that you're sad

When no matter how hard you try to fix things
You just end up destroying it

When you lose someone you love
But pretend to move on
Especially when they died infront of you

It *****
When you bottle up all your pain
For too long
Too much
That the bottle just crack
And everything is out once again
But this time
There's no way in hiding it

And yet again
I've fallen for another Irish man
And got my heart broken once again

Talk to me when you're drunk again
That's the only time i have your attention
You called me your girl
You held me by the hand
You tried to kiss me
You kept trying to get my attention

You were drunk
You were unaware of what you were doing
But I didn't care that night

Be drunk again
So i can experience it once more
Because out of all the girls that were there that night
I was the only one you did that to

So be drunk
Be mine
Now that you're sober
You don't remember me anymore