Celebrating
The impending train wreck
Showing up doubtful
Mourning the losses in advance
A ticket to ride
With an expiration date?
Putting in an preorder for
Refunds on congratulations
Hoping this train doesn’t jump
The tracks once it leaves the station
You aren’t the conductor
Or the passenger
Step aside and watch
Get out of the way
Cringing, hoping and praying
You can’t look away
This is not a game
Now pronounced farewell
Yourselves will be to blame

Running away from yourself

Shows you have the strength to run

And it’s ok to run away for a while

Just make sure you come back

A is for admiration
B is for blooming
C is for caring
D is for distance
E is for endurance
F is for forlorn
G is for grateful
H is for hope
I is for intimate
J is for just being there
K is for knowledge
L is for loyal lips
M is for make up with
N is for need
O is for our own world
P is for pleasure
Q is for quality
R is for remembering
S is for staying
T is for truly
U is for unfailing
V is for vulnerable
W is for wanting
X is for XL
Y is for yearning
Z is for zapped

My dolls hair is *****... ewe
It’s kinda full of grit and goo
Fired her styling crew
Due to layoffs... boo
Is there any doll shampoo
Or is that out of stock too?

Will it make you full of joy?
Will it be too many calories?
Will it make you worry?
Will it help you not worry?
Will it make you have regrets?
Will it make you sick?
Will it be calling your name?
Will it make you happy?
Will it satisfy you?
For... how ...long?
If you can, you should.
If you can’t, then don’t.

I love Fall time

I love the colors

We came to be an official couple in the Fall

But I almost died

In the Fall as well

That day had so many things, smells, places

You saved my life twice

I was thinking of the way
the air felt today

How it reminded me of Fall

Then all I wanted to do was cry

Dual trauma

Just each is different

I get that ugly feeling everything will be
taken away from me

Now I understand why

I held my pen
Pressed on the paper
Yet to write
It bled ink
Into a giant pool
Blots of my thoughts
Big enough so
There was no eraser
What did it mean
Was it something bigger
Does it have to mean
Anything except
New pens I figure

Stop feeding the fickle ones and they will go away.

Keep feeding the loyal ones and they will stay.

The fickle won’t starve for you.

But the loyal know they need you to survive.

A roach came to work with me
in my shoe.

It's a true story.

I shook him out of my laces

And he joined in with a new group
of bugs on the ground.

He can get renter's insurance for
$10 a month.

I'm back, eating lunch in the car
by the path.

And cake.

That's a start.

I want to grow
As fast as my cat
I wanna be big already
How can I do that?

It’s ok to be young
Don’t worry it will come
You will grow fast enough
My child my little one

But I’m too small
Kids make fun
The tree over my shadows
Covering me from the sun

You will grow soon my dear
You will sprout quickly
In another year
No need to fear

Sigh. I guess you are right
You were young once too
Seeing pictures with grandma
I wish I knew the small you

You know me now
I’m telling you child
I’m still that little person
Deep down inside

You know how I feel?
Yes my child, I do
How do you know for sure?
Because I was once you, then I grew

Fresh washed P.E. clothes
The scent of fruity erasers
Blue eyeliner learning it’s place
A clear cool purse
Jelly shoes

My pink overalls are so cool
My teddy bear sweatshirt keeps me trendy and warm
My french braid hides my long hair
Because short hair rules

Oh the horror...
I forgot my homework!
Wearing grandmas ring
Silently made fun of by the popular
I miss elementary playground

Silent I sit speaking to no one
Maybe my one friend
Headaches daily
I don’t want to come here
Give me a note

P.E. clothes stink
Mom said no more blue eyeliner
Clear purse and erasers...stolen
And guess what?

You get to do this all over again

Only bigger

You came upon me
Stared at me with
Giant gleaming eyes
Kissed my arm
Said hello in
Your own words
Took a quick bite
Came back around
Kissed my hand this time
Said hello again with
Your special words
Then went back
To eating your kibbles

Butterflies get all the love
Get all of the attention
Come out in daylight
When you can shine in the sun
Fold your wings
Beautiful to peer
Slender smooth stance
Grown in a fancy house

What about me?
I’m pretty too
Stout and fuzzy
Come out at night
Shining in the moonlight
Show my wings on display
Like a jet plane
Grown in modest house
Clothing not as daring as yours  
Name is small and dull

But I can still fly just as far
As you can... if I wanted
I’m not an ugly butterfly
You’re just a fancy moth