Sing with me
Whether we’re laying in the bed of a hotel room, half past three
Or sitting in a car, well past dark
Listen to our hearts and recite our lovely parts
Hum along to our sacred song as we watch the sun set over the endless horizon
And I’ll beg that you sleepily sing again with me as we watch it rise in the morning
I’ll kiss your sweet lips before the cup of coffee does
And our departing hug will be magic and snug as we say our goodbyes before the morning dew
I’ll hear you whistle along to our tune and I know when you come home you won’t have to sing alone
We are better together- a duet cannot work unless both parts are heard
Sing with me till the sands of time run out
Cast away the doubt that our love won’t sprout wings and take us to distant lands where we may forever walk together, hand in hand

Great, bloodshot eyes from another sleepless night
I know that it's morning since the shades bleed out light
I beg and I pray for sleep with no dreams
and a morning of darkness with no more sunbeams
There comes a time where we found comfort in the blankets
But what crosses my mind are the thoughts that you've tainted
You used to grab my ribs when I hugged you so tightly
Now every night I can feel that so slightly
I wake to the knowledge that you are not here
I wish like these dreams you would just disappear

My heart burns
It aches for your presence
I will never stop loving you
My passion is relentless
It's been a while since I've seen your face
I miss your lips, how do they taste?
The sound of your voice is a memory at best
I'll see you again soon
Let's forget all the rest

I try to love each word
At the end of the day I yearn to be heard
Yet the verse falls flat from my lips
It bends and twists and in air it dips
And the meaning now is skewed
My words come across as brash and rude
Still I do my best to step back
To assure that my words have no means to attack
Though still I’m labeled as such
A disrespectful girl who says too much
I wish I could just be quiet
I wish when I spoke I could like it

When you've been burned by an old flame
You'll never treat the next the same

Less affectionate
Less intimate

Decathect and fear that I'll end like the last
So you don't try as hard and go rotten from the past

I'm scared to love you the way I loved him
You're the best I've ever had though my psyche is grim

My soul cries to stay but my mind pays the price
Why after it all burns down does the heart become ice

Language is a man made construct
Just like time which, I don’t know about you but it always leaves me ******
Yet how is it that a thing created by us
Can decide which words are fine and which are a cuss?
And how is it that this wide intricate system
Can spread hatred across nations but also instill wisdom?
I’m confused at the concept and why it’s misused
Some are enriched by it and others abused
Why do we sling racial slurs at our brothers
And shout things we wouldn’t dare say in front of our mothers
She’d slap you into next month if she heard the words coming from your mouth
I don’t blame her one bit it brings us back to the old south
It’s disgusting and vile
Each awful word should be held up on trial
Let’s rise up together and eliminate the feeling of being low
And let’s please band as a team and silence Jim Crow
Because no one deserves to feel like they’re less than human
No matter if you’re a CEO or a day and night crewman
I don’t get the point of wasting this gift
On the feeble minded idiots who think they’re so swift
But in reality they’re just ignorant and insolent fools
No more useful than broken and rusted garden tools
I’m not saying we should get rid of them
I’m just saying their presence is as about as appealing as phlegm
And I don’t know about you but I think that ****’s nasty
And I think our whole world needs to change beyond vastly
Because by not educating these people who think they’re hot ****
Our society grows more divided slow bit by bit
And before we know it we’re moving back in time
Regressing from our progress and adding more grime
To the already difficult world we live in
The ice that we tread on is getting quite thin
And I’m telling you it’s time for us to make a change
And if no one agrees then fine I’ll seem deranged
But I’m so sick and tired of the anger and violence
I hate the news and these killers who are crazy and tireless
You may think I’m getting political but that’s not my intent
On making a difference is where I’m hell bent
Think what you want and do just the same
But when your family is in danger then who will you blame?
You didn’t act for a cause or voice your opinion
Now you might as well be a follower or one of the mindless minions
Running around like a headless chicken
The moment it affects your life only then will you quicken
And it’s comical to me how the politicians they stammer
Because there lives aren’t in jeopardy yet still outside we clammer
And their doors are made of prejudice and history
Why it’s doomed to repeat itself is clearly no mystery
It’s happening now, don’t you see it taking place?
These high and mighty ******* are trying to save face
But come on we know what’s really going on
They expect us to hold hands and sing a peaceful song
But we won’t and we’re ****** and signs only get us so far
It makes me sad reading about another person plowed down by a car
Or this time was it a van?
What’s next? Will the people ask for a ban?
As I told you before I’m not getting political
It’s actually repulsive yet some think it’s trivial
We blame the things that people use to ****
The guns and the weapons that give them the thrill
But what about the other things that cause more death
Like cars and alcohol or even ******* ****
I’m sorry it doesn’t makes sense
I’m doing my best and hence
This obscure piece of writing was born
About sharing it with the world clearly I was torn
But I decided it would be worth it
And in the current situation might fit
Say what you want and still I’ll stay moderate
But if you use your words for evil
You better be ready to get hit and swallow back wads of your own ****** spit
Because no one is having a plate of what division is serving
Every single person on this earth is unique and deserving
And why we can’t all just love is a thought too beyond me
I hope for a world where our eyes open and see
I can’t even keep it all straight
All the incessant backlash and insurmountable hate
If you don’t use your words then what’s the point of our language
How about we use it for good and get rid of the anguish
I know this was long and thanks for bearing with my message
Now let’s all work together because I’ll be ****** if our generation is just another percentage

I knew when I saw you it would be like time hadn't moved
After a few moments we got back into our usual groove
And the scent of you lingered for the seconds I hugged you
I felt happy to be there and maybe you knew

I playfully motioned for you to hold my hand so you did
You probably didn't notice the smile I hid
The tv flickered with a game in the background or music
All while we leaned closer and in an instant felt lucid

We embraced again before the night was done
You walked me out and said you had fun
One more hug this time with a tighter squeeze
In a way it felt infinite and like time could just freeze
I nestled my face in your neck and you did the same
I'm sure you felt my heart race and still you stayed tame
I slowly let go of our entangled goodbyes
Then did my best to avoid your eyes

How long had it been since I felt those butterflies within
With him, it was truly a romance to get lost in

There are days I could leave this behind
Pack up and go with clear conscience and mind
Yet as time ticks away I still stay

My heart breaks a thousand and one times
I lose myself in my thoughts
And can't come up with rhymes
I used to think life was worthy of living
Until I was hurt so much
There was more taking than giving

I lost my best friend by a misunderstanding
We haven't spoken in months
It was all a crash landing
The blur, I forget, was it me who did wrong?
It's hard to remember the details...
Still the radio plays our song

I'm sick and tired of every liar that crosses my path
Give me a break
And for your own sake take a wooden stake and drive it through your blood thirsty vampire heart
I know you like to see me bleed with each crooked deed I do for you and I fear that I’ll fall into your trap but I’m already wrapped up in those arms
The arms that I once called home
The arms that kept me safe in every place I went
The arms that bent my stick straight spine into a frayed piece of manipulated twine
Which time after time has formed my mind into a cynical beast that can do nothing but feast on the negatives it hears
While also being all ears to the positives that appear
I see the good in everyone except me yet how can it be that I shouldn't get that drink for free
I think so low of myself and my health suffers from it but I get offended when I'm rejected and another pretty doll faced girl is selected over me
You smile when I fall and crawl to your feet like a little puppy after being beat
I scamper and whine for a savior or something divine to intervene and help me find the green light out of here
But it’s dark with no color in sight despite the flicker of my imagination
I go back to fear because that’s all I know now and there are few emotions I can show so how will this work if you constantly irk the angry part of my lying brain
I'm going around round round insane
I'm literally going insane and it's vain for anyone to think they can tell me how to feel or how to heal because if you're not living this battle you have no say so on any given day I have a right to be sad and a right to be mad and if that makes you upset then my best bet would be that you should flee because I'm going to keep being me
I can't live my current life and I don't see any positive end in sight but I'm hanging on tight for you and those who care and even those who just sit blankly and stare
I see you
And you see me
But neither of us say a thing until we've passed
Then the whispers begin and yeah envy is a sin, but I wish I was like you
Normal and happy not constantly sappy waiting for another day to go by so I can pop my pill and get my mental fill for a few seconds before being empty
I'm numb when I'm on drugs and it's hard for me to find pleasure in even the lovely lightening bugs
I used to smile and chase them with bare hands and feet
Now I sit idle and my eyes follow them, glazed over in defeat
I feel like the thoughts seep from my brain and although it sounds lame I often find myself repeating, "What was I going to say?"
I forget how to hang onto a thought or a phrase and I can't even raise an insightful question anymore
I'm only part of me and who I used to be but it's better than constantly being angry
I take this medicine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Hoping one day it'll make me thinner yet I know deep inside that once again I have lied
To myself and my friends and that regardless in the end
No matter what I say there will be someone I offend
Because I'm rude and ruthless and wholly disrespectful
I'm a mess on two legs and dude to tell you the truth I'm a handful
I can barely handle myself or suppress my mean mental health
Oh well, but it ***** being told that you're kind of a bad person
But it's okay because everyone see's it and acknowledges it, so it must just be the way you are
Less than sub par and far from ideal I struggle with what to say and how to feel so it'd be better if I just stopped talking
Yeah, drop it all and stop talking

I used to feel stress as some others do
I’d cry and pout and usually eat the stress away
Gaining 5, 10, 15 pounds in the process
But at what point does stress become too much?

Phase 1- Normal
A little stress
But less than should cause concern
Take a quick pause and breath
Till you feel fully awake and ready to handle the whole deal that is worrying you
Eating pattern: Normal

Phase 2- Intermediate
More substantial stress
Quite the mess inside the mind
Especially in an unkind situation
Eat a little more than normal for the sake of taking away the thought of the problem
Make a list and stick to it to reduce the impact
Don’t place the fist to the wall yet
Eating pattern: Calories increased by 25-40%

Phase 3- High
Stress has reached its max
Like a leach ******* the life away
Mind trying to stray from the food or the situation
But somehow falling pray to both
Like a host for a parasite
Eating pattern: Compromised. Calories increased by 60-75%

Phase 4- Immense
Stress too high to handle comfortably
Functional human abilities begin to cease
Like a paralyzing disease
Lies like not feeling well begin to find their way into play through each and every day
Not only is the issue stressful but the thought of eating becomes impossible
Now more problems creep in with the deep dive swim of an eating disorder side show
Eating pattern: Crippling loss of appetite. Calories decreased by 90%

I digress to address the source of my stress
A world I thought I knew and had nothing left to do but ride the wind with my sweetheart
But things fall apart yet the world still spins and at the end of the day the side I’m fearful of wins
And now I’m alone and scared of what’s next I just sit here with empty stomach rumbles hoping for your text

Waves crashing and smashing into the rickety boat
Hardly staying afloat it cracks and snaps under the pressure that wraps around it
Spinning swirling and twirling the water fills every crevice and nook
From the most overt cabinet down to the rustiest hook
The stormy outlook brings dread
And in his head he thinks of the waves that could leave him dead
Losing all control he can’t grab a hold of the wheel or the rope that could keep him remotely safe or help him cope with the lack of balance
It’s all done
As the sea swallows him like it does the morning sun

There was a time when we were happy together
The stresses of life were nothing more than the weather
And every smile on our faces brought us pleasure

But there are times in life when the wind becomes fast
And the sunshine turns to rain so the warmth doesn’t last

There is a split in the cloud, where the sun breaks through
That little bit of sunshine is when I see you
Without my sunbeam, what will I do?

I miss my beam of sunshine tonight
My tears on the pillow reflect penetrating moonlight
Howling and wailing like a rabid creature
How did everything happen to break away so I could no longer reach for you
O’ my sunshine where did you go
My plagued dreams are now full of woe
I miss you more than the winter snow misses the land
The same way I miss the smooth touch of your hand
My days are dark without you around
I still wail to the moon like a lonesome hound
I fell for you harder than I should have allowed
Now instead it’s reversed and at your feet I have bowed

I break everything I touch
Whether I like it or not
The pain is a bit much

I steal hearts like a siren
and leave them out to dry
Men flock to me like pigeons
Yet I don't understand why

My features are average and I'm a grade-A *****
I don't offer apologies for broken hearts, not even a stitch

I have infinite suitors yet I want none of them
I want my Swan, he's my gem

******, the word is a sadistic place
The one man I want, would just laugh in my face

The ringing seems endless like the ocean’s infinite blue
I think it’s trying to say something
Can you hear it too

It seems the words are English, a dialect I once knew
I have wondered what it wants from me
The voice sounds like you

So I see it is not a thing but now instead a who
It follows me wherever I go
Can you hear it too

And it wants something that only I can help it to do
Escape the wicked mortal confines
The voice sounds like you

Suddenly the air felt thinner all while my body flew
It told me that I should end my life
Can you hear it too
The voice sounds like you

I drink alcohol to soothe my soul
To cleanse and numb my broken mind
I drink for the buzz
To see what new reaches I can find
It’s scary in my head when I’m sad
When I’m throwing up that poison
I can’t cry for mom and dad
The pain is far too great
I love the tingle
But the taste, I hate

I hope my body forgives me
For what I’ve put it through
I hope one day I see
The truths I heard from you

I promise I will try
Not to starve myself as often
But there will be hiccups and lies
As I chew and chew to soften

The food will make me sick
Though I may not mean physical
But still they call me “thick”
Thin is paradisiacal

I’m sorry some days I can’t keep down my food
Or I can’t even look at the label on that junk
I know it would taste good
But it would just add to me another flabby chunk

The number doesn’t matter
It’s arbitrary really
I’m stuck like the mad hatter
And the mirror floats about freely

Yes I’m scared to death
But the death is so enticing
I push and pull each breath
But the sharp oxygen is slicing

Tired and alone
I wander aimlessly
With no place to call home
I can’t say I do so blamelessly

It’s my fault I’m so messed up
But I want that skin and bones
I rinse my mouth with a cup
After throwing up dark tones

I hope my body forgives me
For hurting it so greatly
It’s not who I want to be
But I’ve gotten much worse lately

Tonight I feel alone
My run was awful and I cracked my phone
The moon blinds me as it’s magnificence magnifies through my tears
The stars in multitude represent my fears
I feel a great melancholy
An untapped sorrow that feeds into my folly
I weep tonight not to a nameless god
But to the bathroom mirror which shows a reflection so flawed
Tonight I sleep alone
Hushing cries and gasps for empty air
I tug at my blanket and pull at my hair
The pain has become too much
My mental state has become a physically crutch
There is no more than a vast empty space
A lonely desolate place
Scaring me even in my sleep
As in my pillow I continue to weep
Tonight I write to no one
For that’s all I have left when I am done

I wish there was a word beyond “sad”
Because three letters cannot capture
The way my heart breaks and bends every time you enter my mind

When will I find a love that’s mine
They say, “you’ll see a sign, all in due time”
But they don’t understand the issue I’m having
My emotions are trapped inside me gathering
I can’t see the forest for the trees
And I can’t keep begging for a man down on my knees

Let it be known to all who will listen
I’m in love with a man whose beautiful eyes glisten
And even when they are filled with tears
He still relieves me of my deepest fears
I love in him the things he does
And the way he holds my ribs during passionate hugs
The morning sun envies his light
And every star in the sky is clouded from sight
He radiates like no one ever has before
And the list goes on of things I adore
To me he is nothing short of divine
I want so badly to call him mine
I’ll always love this man with my body, heart, and soul
For a world without him would leave a gaping hole

In the night is when I know he loves me
Because without being asked he rolls over and hugs me
And with his gentle hands he tugs at me
And although his body is flaming
I find his presence quite taming
I think the feeling I’m having trouble explaining is the one above all else
It’s love for others above thyself
The more time I spend with him the more I see his flaws
But the more I fall in love with him the more I must take pause
I know he is not perfect
But a happy life, he deserves it
I love my boy most of all
He is the only one to catch me when I fall

See there's a life I live in public
and one a little more reserved
The first makes me feel sick
the latter more preserved

We wear a mask that we sometimes share
wondering what face to show
One used here and one used there
questioning where each should go

Perhaps there is a compromise
in this hellish seeming turmoil
I forgot... I got lost in your eyes
as it moves from simmer to boil

What to do about such a complex issue...
What if I stood in front of the world and attempted to kiss you?

“Love? People love what they can take from you or they love how you make them feel about themselves; but they don’t love you”

An interesting concept indeed
This human made emotional greed
I think you loved me, I do
But I think I was temporary to you
That’s alright though
I guess in the end we reap what we sow

There are people in this room
Whom I know can’t be themselves
They sleuth and sly around
With super human stealth

I’ll start the string of confessions

I’m depressed and suicidal
And no one cares what I think
I’m obsessed and prideful
So I’ll never see a shrink

I’m strictly heterosexual
Which for some is not the case
Tell each other now
Before a love goes to waste

It hurts my heart to say
But I don’t eat enough
It’s the price you pay
When you’re stomach is a bit plump

To be completely honest
I don’t think at all
And when it comes to love
I don’t look before I fall

My parents drive me crazy
But I’m happy that they’re mine
My childhood wasn’t daisies
But I think I turned out fine

Imagine if we could be truthful
With our peers and those we know
Perhaps we’d stay more youthful
Without the stress that we don’t show

I miss you like the wind does the leaves
But when spring comes, once again they will meet

Your eyes are like the ocean
Your words are like the sea
I can't help but fall in love with you
As your waves wash over me

All you had to do was stay
but instead you left
and took a piece of me away

every night and every day
I think of you
and weep as I begin to pray

It's been long, I admit
My heart still pains
Quite a bit
I chose to be happy without you here
Then lost my mind
When you disappeared
I want to say that I was wrong
To not accept your love
Until it was too far gone

I beg and plead
With every word
And deed
To rekindle our fire
And fulfill our hopes
And desires

Run away with me, O' please
Before we miss
The changing of the leaves

My tears are liquid ice
Cold to the touch and full of vice
They symbolize what we had
And the way we were so good yet so bad
I loved you with all my being
Now I am stuck here daydreaming
Of a time when it was your hand I was holding
Before my mistakes stepped in and it started molding
Into something different than before
I don’t know what the future has in store
But oh how I hope to God we can be Us again
I guess I’ll just continue to wonder when

Do you ever wonder
if the painter
tires of his colors?

I told my love recently that he never writes for me
He claimed it was because of his insecurity
The English language is complex
I agree, but it requires thought and what comes next
So my love then began to think
And with his words he made my heart sink
In a way that was full of emotion
And it renewed my everlasting devotion
He wrote for me
A piece of poetry:
"Your eyes sparkle,
Sparkle like a thousand fireworks,
and I marvel like a little kid,
Looking into your beautiful green eyes
like a lushes forest.
Hoping to get lost with you in the wild"