To the love I once knew-

I am the one you love briefly
Like the fall breeze passing by
Tell me what it was like when we first met
Did your pulse quicken like mine?
Did your stomach sicken like mine?
Did I help your spirits grow?
Or was I the placeholder till the falling of the winter snow?
Did you look into my broken soul and see my undying love for you?
Did the prospect of that terrify you?
Did I make your mind feel good?
Did I do enough for you when I could?
Was I what you wanted me to be?
When you think of your future is it me that you see?
Did you use my body for your pleasure?
Was I a way for your self worth to be measured?
Did you even love me at all?
Were you afraid if you left that I'd fall?
Fall from what?
From grace, from sanity, from logic?
The warfare, my love, is simply psychologic
I'm nothing but caring and like cancer our love grew  
Manifesting into something beyond our control
I took the blame for your lies and adapted to the role
You continue to smile and laugh all cheeky
You tiptoe around and act all sneaky
Decide for yourself what you want to do
Just know that the moment you get on that plane
When you come home, we’ll likely be through
No matter your choice we won't be the same
Because, see, you chose her despite my insecurity
And with a feeble rhetoric professed your maturity
But I know this won't bode well
For me it’s like trudging through hell
Because I've never been enough to keep anyone around
I'm always the dirt between your nails or beneath your feet like the ground
You can do what you want and my presence will be amorphous
I'll adapt around you and still you'll ignore this
I'm the sun on your face and the air you breathe deeply
I'm the girl of your dreams and the one you love briefly