Tell me how does it feel to be on the flipside of things, I bet there's joy in every second So dreamy yet so real. I've had my share of moments and I keep reliving them. The things I pen about, Look at you actually living them. Tell me how does it feel to be on the flipside of things, I bet there's beauty in every minute, Every minute as soothing as when a wind chime rings. I have my share of beauty I pen it down every night, Look at you in this shining armour posing as her knight. Tell me how does it feel to be on the flipside of things, I bet there's charm in every hour, Unlike this ordeal. Often I pen about how I starve for these moments and then I Look at you as the same moments you devour.
Is there bad-envy and good-envy? Is bad-envy when I desire to take away from another person what brings them joy and happiness? Is good-envy when I take clues from how another person has achieved joy and happiness to achieve joy and happiness for myself?
Envious Is a deep word Meaning more than envy itself Envious is craving your feet on the other side of the world Where no road ends When the same rain falls And when all things turn inevitably For better or worse We are all on the same green Earth
I left you Left you lying on a bed Cuddled up with our memories. I left you to go cry To rock myself to sleep Clutching our memories. I left you I left you whole, yet I was shattered Broken pieces of self doubt and insecurity. I left you to go put myself back together, To try and regain my dignity To try and feel happy I left you to try and figure out how you can both leave me feeling so good And also so lost. I left you because you don't want me Because I can't continue to want you And I can't continue to care, when you dont. I left you because I am chasing a ghost Running after someone that never started the race. I left you because I knew you'd let me Let me run out the door, Drunk as I was, sad as I was, lonely and playing second fiddle as I was. I left you because your pity makes me sick Am I as pathetic as I appear? I left you because I knew you wouldn't call, I knew you wouldn't text to see if I was ok. I left because sleep was more important To you then my slowly breaking heart and mind. I left you because I am too dramatic and even still I know this is my fault, That this played out the way I knew it would. I left you because I cannot leave myself.
I hate feeling like this. I hate that I have to write this. I hate that I like it, that I need to be broken to feel alive and want the pain for some masochistic meandering meltdown.
I don't write uplifting words my poems are stones I throw at the soaring birds Because I'm jealous Yearning to get that high and it makes me rebellious All I want is a friend But y'all just pretend I invite you to a home Love you just like kin And what do I get in return A back stab and a burn But just wait Just wait youll get yo turn Think one day you'll learn That what you get is what you earn What you dish Is what you fish What you leave Is what you receive Then one day we can try again You can try to accompany me