I cry and no one can hear, In hell.
The blinded eyes that see The chaos.
Bring the pitiful to me,
Even though I'm wide-awake, all I see is blackest night.
i wait for you.
It's  cold in here there's no one left.
I knew, I'd cherish all my misery alone

I cry and cry for you
The Ghosts that haunt you with their sorrow,
I cried because  you were doomed,
Praying to the wound that swallows All that's cold and cruel.
Can you see the trees, charity and gratitude.
It's black in here blot out the sun,
Our misery runs wild and free
And i knew, the fire and the ashes of his grace,
Would die the same day as my ever lasting face.

I bow my head.
We sing in memory, songs that he loved.
I look around, everyone's in black.
It's like a big hole swallowing me,
And I can't get out.

I hear ladies sobbing, babies crying,
And faint screams in the distance,
Everything is blurred.

I smell fresh flowers and old women's perfume.
I feel the urge to scream, to scream as loud as I can.
To scream at the top of my lungs,
"Please don't be gone".
But I don't.
I keep it in, repeadtedly resciting it in my head.

I look around again,
Everything's gone.
It's just me, alone at his grave.
It always was, and it always will be.

They say that he talked to Angels,
And maybe I do too.

I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.

I long for that feeling to not feel at all.

The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.

I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.

Sublime, subtle, soft.
When I saw your body for the first time,
I realised how you were never fine,
I saw how many battles you fought,

On your arms,
Your thighs,
Your sides,
Your lovely sides.

And I loved you more for every single mark that you felt burdened your beautiful body,

The perfection in your skin complexion and the paleness of you, only made me want to hold you closer to warm you.

And let nothing harm you, not anything, not even yourself.

Never again.

The empathy of a teacher who hears that a girl they belittled  has commuted suicide.
The sadness of a parent who will always wonder why.
The grief of her friends, they'll always pretend that she never seemed sad in the end.
I think we should all take a break, take a moment to state that suicide is not alright.
We live In a world where our minds are swirled with poisionus lies.
The ******* irony of if.
To be told to live your life a certain way, will only betray you.
Now politicians wearing suitable-ties discuss the times that schools should be open, that hours should be longer, so more children will suffer.
See, our system is ******, we have people in charge of us that couldn't give a **** if we are happy or sad.
They just want more money to add, to their pockets. The *******.
So, it goes on. And don't you forget that girls last song.
That she didn't want to live on, that she'd rather be gone, than stay in a world where her heroes were dead and her enemies were in power.

The candle light flickers,
Casting shadows around the room,
The warmth that it creates,
Fills my bedroom tomb.

I lay here paralised,
Thinking about all of your lies,
Pretending to myself that it's not worth it to cry.
But still, I cry, despite my efforts to try not to.

The stream of tears flows down my face,
And I feel the heat of it on my cheek,
And taste the salty taste.

I burn the poems you wrote me,
Telling me of love and of honesty,
Because you weren't honest with me,
And in love you never will be.

A vision of black,
Heads bowed,
Women weep as he's lowered into the ground.
His mother cried,
So did I,
People couldn't help but sigh.

The rain flowed beneath our feet,
Into the ground where he would retreat,
A place as hollow as hell,
Where he would never  fit in well.

I look down at my arms,
Scarred and scorned,
I feel responsible for his death,
to his parents I apologise,
I wish to join him;
Every single day,
In the ground,
Where he lay.

Silence won't defend us in the sacred wars of our minds,
Time holds the only key to how we might survive.

A deafening screech won't keep us safe from whatever is under our beds,
stars are the ones who lost their sanity, their minds and their heads.

Oak tree, old and bold,
Green are his leaves,
Brown is his soul.
His mind is wise,
From the beginning of time,
He stood,
He stands,
In His secret society's shrine.

A river that runs red,
A blood clot causes death,
The wind cries,
Time flies,
Then slows down
And passes by.

Dreams were not made for this,
Nothing was.

Stare infinitely into the looking glass,
I see a face that's not my own,
Eyes that aren't human,
Lips that move without my intention.

My eyes are plagued with tears,
Flowing down my cheeks,
Madness seeps out of every pore,
I laugh at the reflection of what I see,
For it's not me.

I want to be haunted,
I want to be loved,
I want a lot of friends,
And a lot of drugs.

I want to be haunted,
I won't leave my bed,
I'm already crazy,
I'm already sad.

I don’t want to go to sleep,
And I don’t want to dream,
I want to feel alive, I want to feel free.

Waking up in Floating above the sheets on my bed,
Something tells me I’m losing my head.
I'll just snort more Coke, cut my skin and try my best to die again.

The world is ending in my dreams,
Every day for the last few weeks.
When it really ends they’ll fill my body with flames,
You and I will be a household name.

You still cross my mind from time to time.
And I mostly smile.
Still so set on finding out where we went wrong and why

So I retrace our every step with an unsure pen,
trying to figure out what my head thinks,
but my head just ain't what it used to be.
And then again, what's the point anyway?

I remember you ascending all the stairs up to the balcony
to see if you could see me - hidden quietly away
And I remember the skin of your fingers,
The spot three quarters up I'd always touch when I was out of things to say.

You held my hand, but you were too afraid to speak and I could never understand.
I remember when you leaned in quick to kiss me, and I swear,
that not a single force on earth could stop the trembling of my hand.

I remember how you smiled through the smoke in a crowded little coffeehouse and laughed at all my jokes.

And I remember the way that you dressed and,
how we wasted all the best of us in alcohol and sweat.

And I remember when I knew that you'd be leaving, how I barely kept up breathing
and I bet if I had to do it all again, I'd feel the same pain.

I remember panicked circles in the terminal in tears.
How I wept to god in fits. I've hated airports ever since.
It must be true what people say, that only time can heal the pain.

every single day I feel it fade away, but -
I still remember how the distance tricked us,
and lead us helpless by the wrist into a pit to be devoured.

I still remember how we held so strong to this,
though we had never really settled on a way out.

I still remember the silence, and how we'd always find a way to turn and run to our mistakes.
I still remember how it all came back together just to fall apart again.

My dear, I hear your voice in mine.
I've been alone here, I've been afraid, my dear.
I've been at home here. You've been away for years. I've been alone.

I breathed your name into the air; I etched your name into me.
I felt my anger swelling; I swam into its sea.
I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear.

It tore the wiring of my brain; I did my best to keep it clear.
So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my head.

And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead.
If I can't love you as a lover, I will love you as a friend.
And I will lay a bed before you; keep you safe until the end.

Hold your breathe,
Count to 10,
Close your eyes,
Start again.

Hold back the tears,
**** your fears,
Your mind is alive,
Don't let it deprive.

Hold yourself together,
He said it was forever,
No one could see,
It wasn't your destiny.

I'm a mountain that has been moved,
I'm a river that is all dried up,
I'm an ocean nothing floats on,
I'm a sky that nothing wants to fly in.
I'm a sun that doesn't burn hot,
I'm a moon that never shows it's face,
I'm a mouth that doesn't smile,
I'm a word that no one ever wants to say.

if the sky opened up and started pouring with rain,
The antichrist sent back on judgement day,
Would you be alright?
Would you survive,
Would you even be saved?

Take all of your sins and burry them fast,
Pray that they turn into seeds,
And then into roots and grass.
So that you'd be alright,
You wouldn't be alright,
He can see the graves.

You'll never be saved.

I don't believe in the secrets you keep
But I do want to  know
How do you sleep at night?

And I'm over you, congratulations.
Thank you for all the pain,
Because  it made it be so much more fun

There's nothing to say now,
The feelings are already dead,
And I don't believe theres a way now,
All that is said has been said.

I'm waiting for another day,
another way,
I don't believe that you can make all the pain go away,
So I'll leave it all behind, but I'm leaving with blood in my eyes.

Crimson and bare as I stand,
Yours completely,
Blinded by your ever lasting beauty.

Pale white and fragile skinned,
Waiting for the pain to begin,
I'll leave it all behind,
But I will be leaving with blood in my eyes.

Such a pain tears me from the inside out,
It makes me want to pull my hair from my head and claw my eyes out.
I scream and cry and shout but nothin relieves the pain except cutting my skin again.

******* hollow inside my thoughts are invaded by a therapist who thinks I'm insane,

Insane

I live  with a suicidal tendency.
It has become a necessite part of me,
I wake up every day, just hoping that it will go away.





                   It doesn't.

I don"t want to be awake again,
I spend my days with my head in my hands.
If I go outside I"ll fall apart.
I am mostly scared of passing time,
the world it seems gets more unkind.
Inevitable tragedy will soon be mine.

I am looking for an easy place,
to mask my thoughts behind my face.
Oh brown baked column of victory.
Maybe I should just pack up and run away again,
and let you forget that you where once my friend.
Then watch another go on and do better without me.

But I could not go away, not if I wanted to.
I can hide from friends but I cannot hide from you.
These chemical reactions are dividing me.
Self-deprecating thoughts are interrupting all the time,
emphasizing all the traits that I wish weren"t mine.

They speak louder than everybody
I try to keep my eyes closed as my outlook isn"t bright,
compulsively complaining when I haven"t got the right.

I hate the way that I think and act.
I want to end reality but I feel hesitant,
optimistic that the future will be more concerned than the present,
and so for today I"ll remain intactz

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Don't you feel the pain that we all do at night?
don't ever again look me in the eye.

I realised that you can love someone so much,
But you can never love them as much as you can miss them, I've learnt that he hard way.

Time doesn't heal things,
I wish I had you here to sing.
Pain doesn't wash away in the rain,
I've tried that a thousand times to the day.

People will give you an understanding look,
But never will they know the pain that you undertook.

One day,
We hope,
The pain might fade,
But until that day,
I'll keep your memory at bay.

You left me behind along with all of your things,
A day like today with the sun the horizon brings.
Early hours of the morning they found me mourning, they found you then and then their worlds started falling.

Lifeless and cold,
No future to hold,
You couldn't see past your worries and pain.

It hurts to know that you felt so alone,
But hurts even more to know that you couldn't see that I was always there for you.

One day we will be re United, but until that day comes,
I'll look upon the sun to take the pain away.

I am suppressed by my own thoughts
And depressed by your actions,
You never practiced what you taught,
Only using small fractions.

I think too much,
And I sleep too little,
I am cold to touch,
And my words are a riddle.

I drink black coffee,
And I smoke like a chimney,
No one will stop me,
You'll never pin me.

There is a place in my mind,
It's dark and un alive,
It's not that hard to find,
Although, it really makes me thrive.

I struggle without you here,
It's so cold it's severe,
I try to keep clear of the prison gates,
We are both destined to different fates.

The walls are caving in again,
It Happens every now and then,
It's Always got me feeling like I'm ******.
Falling in and out of bed,
Sleep so I feel like I'm dead,
Trying to get a grip is kinda rough.

You say life has lost it's meaning,
And that's true if you believe it,
But someday you will stand above your demons,
You're not beneath this.

I hate being so anxious that you’re falling for someone else because they complimented your hair and the way you like to dress.


I hate being so worried that you’re going to be in a hurry to leave me without a warning.


I hate being so scared that you’ll forget the love we shared and look for it with somebody else. 


I hate being so paranoid that you won’t come home one night and that you’ll be in another girls bed. 


But I guess I signed up for this, I knew my own minds tricks, despite this I still agreed to try my best  to trust you.

God I wish I knew what goes on inside your head

Blue lips,
Blue veins,
Blue,
The colour of our planet from far far away.

He was a child of the seas who had a price to pay.

The pictures in his mind arose
And he began to breathe,
no one saw and no one heard,
They just followed the lead,
The pictures in his mind awoke
And began to breed

They started off beneath the knowledge tree,
And they chopped it down to make a picket fence,
And marching along the railroad tracks,
They smiled real wide for the camera lenses
As they made it past the enemy lines
Just to become enslaved in the assembly lines

My body aches at the fact that I can't have you here to hold or have you here to call my own.
I wish to tell you that I love you so,
But you live so far and I'm so cold.

We are so similar yet so far from each other,
To fall asleep next to you or just to be near.
I hope one day I will meet you and be able to say that you're so perfect in every single way.

Never have I seen someone so similar to me,
Someone who loves everyone else for a cost but hates themselves for free.

I never thought that I would feel so strongly about you when we first talked,
But since then I have learnt to cry and also learnt how to walk.

Because one day I will be with you, but until that day comes, I will look upon the sun to let us truly be in love.

Sliced Jugular vein
           Blue wrist
Fates fatal,cold kiss
           Body of blood
Coronation of death
           Deminishing life
The rotting smell of flesh

Ceased to survive
             Smouldering corpse
Decaying carcass
              Unnaturally enforced
Hair of spider web
               Deaths new bride
Funeral of the pulse
               Riddled with acide

Creature of havoc
                Crawls into bones
Eyes of maggots
                Crumbling tomb stone
Laying in the pits
                The worms eating brains
Bound there forever
                 Until crumbling from deaths chains.

The nights are hard to get through,
So much sadness.

****

In a crypt for the undead
Turmoil awakens
And you cannot even let me rest
In the grave you burried me alive in
I don’t want to remember you
But your ghost dances
around my head
And I’m stuck here forever in this tomb for the undead
will you ever let me sleep?
I feel like I’m living i  n        A        D   r   e  a  m

A mid May Day
Summer light
You turn
your violet eyes flash mine
And your hair dances with the wind
Causing anticipation
Setting love in

And I see you
With twinkling eyes in the moonlight
Lavender fireflies buzzing in the dusk
And you smile at me
Setting me so free
Of anguish and misery

And I see you
Floating in the mist
Of Rosie pink blossom
Carrying you away
Promising to see me the next day

And Then i see you
With him
And your eyes are black
And your teeth are rotten
And your hair is thin
The air is dense
And filled with sin

And I see you
With your Bleeding heart
Through your chest
Rib cage of moths
Witheringly thin
In your hellish nest
You will die in

And I see you
Where Dandelions grow from you
And bouquets I never bought you lay over your head
In this garden of death
Sing for me a hymn
To save my soul
From my deadly violet sin

Edward,

I see
           You
Withered
Rope torn neck
Blood shot eyes
             You
With Rotten fingers
With a Chelsea cut smile
         And you
With your insides spilled on the ground
        Purple neck
Bruised
And a chair that was high
And a ceiling that held you at your weakest moment
You wanted to bruise your immortality
You wanted to fly
Look at me now
Dying for you
Cut
Cut and cut
And ridged sides
And blood soaked sheets


And I see you
Dead
Dead dead
Dead
Seeing something new
You
With a black tongue
Oozing from your mouth
Blood and gauze
Barbed wire stapling you to me
And I’m cut
Bleeding from every pore
Every seem
And I cut
My wrist
My thigh
And still you are
Dead
Dead
Dead
And I wish too to be
Dead,
Dead,
Dead.

I see
You
Teeth dangling from your gums on strings
And sewn up eyes
And peeling skin
Flaking ash over me
Burning me
Plaguing me with sores
War torn face
****** creature
Worm infested
And mildew
Drenched with blood
Spilled
From me
From my wrist
And
You
At 18
With dead eyes
And dead skin
And a dead body
And me
At 16
Dying body
Bleeding wrist
Broken soul
Smouldering in your fire.
All
Dead,
Dead,
Dead.

You're So close no matter how far,
You Couldn't be closer to my heart,
We're Forever trusting who we are,
And nothing else matters.

I've Never felt this way,
Life is ours, we live it our way.
All these words I Never usually say,
And nothing else matters.

Trust I seek and I find it in you,
Every day for us is something new,
I have an Open mind for a different view,
And nothing else matters.

i don't know anyone i am

You left me on a hot summers day,

You said that you had to go away,

And you must be enjoying your stay,

Because I haven't heard from you since that day.

Present day, things have changed,

Summers over now, and  it rains here in every way.

She is never there,
Ghost lover extrordinare,
Kisses nothing but air,
And I love her.

I miss who you were

The circus is back
Flashing lights in my head,
Feeling petrified to sleep in my bed.
Blaring voices and commotion all through the night,
Even your presence gives me a ******* fright-
But you’re my panic alert
I see you and adrenaline gets to work,
then I can’t sleep
Wishing you’d leave me be-
You’re supposed to be my safety net,
My father, and my friend
But all you do now is scare me to death,
You’re driving me round’ the bend.
This isn’t the way to live my life,
I’m petrified, now I sleep with a knife
And pray to some fake god that I’ll make it through the night,
Because the hate that you show us just so isn’t right.
Please leave us alone because we’re fearing for our safety,
Panicked that you’re hiding in the attic waiting to **** me.
Life is pale now and my skin is too,
I’m scared that I’m gonna die because of you,
Fainting with fear whenever you’re near,
And smoking enough to tranquillize a deer,
I can’t go on like this,

And you can’t either

Why can’t we just leave all this behind and go for a beer?
It brakes my heart to see what you’ve become