Walk along this narrow path
And you might come to a surprise
For if you're lucky enough
You might find the meadows song

A meadow so peaceful
It's sure to be divine
Radiant beauty
None can deny

Across the wandering meadow
Sings a blue bird in joy
His life is filled with blissfulness
As he flies across the bright blue sky

Down on the ground
The rabbit plays
Seeking treats
That's buried below

The fox does hunt
But does not harm
For he is friends
With the meadows life

The trees sway softly
In the summer breeze
Dancing to this meadow's song
Giving shelter to the wild life

Grass grows high
The flowers wide
Full of colour
Like an artist's eye

Peace does bloom
In this meadow of dreams
Listen closely and you might hear
The meadows silent song

It hurts to have your heart broken
But when it’s your trust that’s broken
It can be years before you are strong enough
To trust someone else

My trust was broken a few months back
And now that I found another
In which I like so very much
The trust is effecting me

Delusions and hallucinations set in
Causing my mind to panic
I try so hard to push them away
But they keep getting worse

I’m reassured that I’m not a burden
That I’m attractive and liked
But at the same time
My thoughts run ramped

Maybe he’s lying
Maybe he’s talking to other people
Maybe he’s with someone already
Maybe he’s just using you

Maybe he’s seeing multiple people
Maybe he’s this
Maybe he’s that
Thoughts of mistrust running wild

I can’t sleep
I eat everything in sight
Or I don’t eat at all
I cry all the time

I see visions and delusions
Of me cooking him dinner
And someone else coming in
And kissing his cheek calling him babe

And I wonder
Is my head really this bad
Am I going to let the past ruin my future
But yet the hallucinations continue

Visions of him holding someone else
Visions of me saying just take me home
Visions of me breaking down and crying
Visions of me that I wish to unsee

Cause you see
I like this guy
So very much
But this mistrust

Has got to stop
It will eat me alive
And it’s not fair to him
To compare him with the past

I’m breaking down
My heart beats hurt
I can’t contain it for much longer
It just keeps building and building

The harder I push it down
The harder it pushes back
And I break down in tears
Bawling my eyes out

All I do is think about him
Even with music blasting in my ears
The thoughts race by without stop
He’s all that’s on my mind

I miss him so much
I don’t know what to do
I shove my head into music and games
Yet it doesn’t work

I’m up late into the night
Constantly thinking what will happen
What if things were different
If the situation was different

Would we have actually became a couple
Or would this have still happened
I’m trying so hard for him
To just be his friend through this time

But the more time that passes
The greater the pain becomes
And I wonder to myself
Did I fall in love?

Is that why this hurts so much
Is that why I can’t help but miss him
Why he is constantly on my mind
Running circles around my distractions

I’m honestly afraid of the next time I see him
What if I run inwards and cause the body to faint
What if I run to him and kiss him?
What about a deeply felt bear hug?

Would he hate me?
It’s petrifying to think about
And each outcome is just painful
I’m so afraid to tell him

Afraid to say what’s on my mind
About how much this hurts
About my feelings for him
About how much I miss him

Should I cave and tell him?
Or should I bare the pain a bit longer
Letting the fates dictate
What is to come

I need answers
But I know that no one can give them
It has to come from me
Whatever my mind and heart decide

Fractured vision
Tear stained cheeks
Aching hearts
Shaking fists

Depression and anger
Mixed together
In a deadly fire
Waiting to ignite

Bursting at the seams
Pushing through the pain
Of a misery
That’s threatening to ****

Crashing and thrashing
Punching and flailing
Wishing things would change
That things would be better

Pushing down emotions
Being replaced by burning
Most agonizing feeling
Of being lost in the moment

Losing the sight
Not seeing what the point is
Breaking down into rubble
Swaying back and forth

Tears burst the dam
Rushing down the cheeks
Salt taste upon the lips
Nails digging into shoulders

Knees clenched to the chest
Screaming out for help
Yet nothing calls out
There is no help to come

The meds that help
Have stopped working right
And now a crumbled mess
Lays upon the floor

Asthma attacks ensue
Panic and anxiety spike
Dissociation happens
All is lost

I’m in total confusion
And honestly it really hurts
I care about you a lot
And you say that you do as well

I know things are difficult now
Things are getting in the way
But at the same time
I feel like I’m tossed aside

My feelings haven’t changed
Maybe yours hasn’t either
Or maybe they have
But this whole situation has me in tears

All I want to do is hold you
To call you mine
To kiss your forehead
To play with your hair

I don’t care about naughty stuff
Never really cared for it
That’s not the type of person I am
Cause I’m a sensual lover

I show my love by cuddles
I show it by kisses and hugs
I could care less if anything else happened
I’m still a ****** for a reason

But at the same time
I’m pan
I don’t like or love like normal people
I feel the personality out

I sense what the person is about
Before I try and do anything
And because of that fact
When I click with someone I fall

It’s hard to go back
To being just friends
To not holding you at night
Or smelling your cologne

No more anything
Barely a whisper
And it hurts
So badly I cry

You say you like me a lot
And I tell you the same
But in actuality
I fell for you the first day

Your personality
Your likes and interests
Your dislikes and your smile
All the way down to the way you hold yourself

I’m holding these feelings back
Putting them under lock and key
Because that is your wish
But that doesn’t stop the pain

The longing I feel when we are apart
The excitement I get when I text you
The happiness I get when you respond
The solace I get when I hear your voice

I guess what I’m saying
Is that I’m probably in love
And this whole situation
Is causing nothing but pain

But I will continue
To do as you wish
To hold back my feelings
In hopes of enjoying one more kiss

For the past few months
My life has been hell
But then someone walked in
And brought a light

A light shining so bright
I was able to see hope
For the first time in years
Someone I love being around

But things don’t always work
They way you wish them to
So now in order to keep sane
Feelings that developed need to be drowned

I don’t want this person
To end up walking out of my life
Cause of a mistake that I
Or my alters make

I must be strong
But that’s always a problem
For I have no idea
How to be strong

I’ve never been good at it
It’s always eluded me
Especially since I tend
To develop feelings fast

And that’s always been an issue
I like him so ******* much
But at the same time
I fear that I scared him

Maybe I did something wrong
Maybe I pushed too much
Was I doing something wrong
I don’t know anymore

All I know is that
I need to go back
To being numb
Until the time is right

Who knows when that will actually be
Or if that will actually happen
But at the same time
My alters and I are accepting fate

The Gods and Goddesses
Like to toy with us
So I feel that I’m destined to be alone
Lost in the waves of torment

Being battered by the rocks
Shoved down by the current
Made to be abused by fate
Until I’m a perfect play toy

I have died
Body with no soul
The last melting ember
Of my once beautiful soul

Is now losing it's glow
The moments that pass
Slowly slow us down
We lose the happiness

We beg for it back
Yet there are those
That won't return
No matter what

My heart gone
Soul is dying
I leave this world
To find a new

How are you suppose to make it
When life keeps pushing you down
Your head starts spinning
Sending thoughts of dread

You start to fear
The tears form in your eyes
You can’t control it anymore
And they explode from your face

Face down in a pillow
You weep so suddenly
Feeling like a weight
Is pushing you under the sea

You start to wonder
If you ever belonged
And doubt the reasons
To stay alive anymore

You wish for something
To pull you out of it
To bring you back to the surface
But nothing comes to your aid

Feeling lost and abandoned
You feel alone
Grabbing at anything
That gives you the slightest hope

But nothing helps
You stop taking your meds
You don’t see the point
When they are just making it worse

You lost your boat
In the sea of torment
The demons grab
And pull you down further

You try to scream
To call out for help
But they have you by the throat
So no sound escapes

You think to yourself
When will this end
But there in lies the issue
There is no rescue

There is no way back
No arms will reach
No one to bring you back
To the surface to breath

So you drown in your own misery
Brought into you by years of torment
You curse yourself
Wishing you were dead

Things in life are never fair
No matter how much you wish it to be
You will always get hurt
By things you wish to unsee

Broken hearts
And passion that’s forgotten
It’s starting to be clear
That the world is rotten

Hiding your feelings
So others can’t know
Just how badly you hurt
And wish to go

You smile and wave
Like a happy little fool
All the while
Feeling like a tool

Being used and abused
By the ones you love
While all they do
Is push and shove

You fall down deeper
Into this bottomless well
Hoping for a light
To escape this hell

Yet the more you search
The harder it is to feel
What will truly help
Is a way to heal

To heal the heart
Refract the thoughts
Coping with the pain
Of so much loss

And yet you sit and wonder
What time will end up bringing
Will it be the perfect angel
Or a devils upbringing

I think I’ve lost my sanity
There’s no turning back
I’ve lost the battle
My mind now shattered

The demons laugh
They poke and ****
Pushing me further back
Into my own dark mind

They call me names
Scream profanity
Making me hate myself
Even more than I already do

I just want to go back
To a time where I was safe
Protected from the demons
Who devour my mind

I lost sight
Of what I had
The demons came out
To ruin my life

They pushed me too far
This time there is no stopping
The actions in which will happen
To stop them once and for all

To those who they hurt
I am so sorry
I wish I could have stopped them
I wish you could understand

I wasn’t in control
I had no memories of what happened
And because of their actions
I lost my only protection

The light which shown through the darkness
The one who could pull me out of my head
But it’s too late now
I’ll never get your light back

They have destroyed your faith in me
And in doing so destroyed my will
I’m sorry but I’m not strong enough
To face this battle alone

So I surrender
I forfeit the fight
For how can I possibly win
When I can’t see anything but darkness

When will this end
When will I stop being in pain
When will I be okay
When will I find my happiness

I stand here
With my heart bleeding
Tears of blood
Running down my face

I ask you
Do I even deserve love
Or am I destined to be hated
For all my life

I ask you this
Because deep within my heart
I feel like I don’t
Deserve anything but hate

Just rip me open
Take my bleeding heart
Into your callused hands
And squeeze it hard

Crush it so I don’t have to feel
This horrible pain
I’m begging you
Just end it

Because if I can’t have love
Then just give me death
I’d rather be dead
Than hated by you

You say you forgive me
But I don’t feel that’s true
I forgave you instantly
And my actions shown true

I may not be able
To control my alters
But my heart will always remain
Right by your side

I just wish you realized that
Before shutting me out
Like I should have realized
My alters ****** up

My alters are not me
Yet you jumble us up as one
I have no control
When I’m not the host

I’ve gotten so much better
At keeping them at bay
I just wish I learned to do it
Before it was too late

Cause now I stand here
All alone and bleeding
My heart split in two
Forever waiting for you

My love
My heart
My one and only
My soulmate

I have loved you since first sight
Love your laugh
Loved your smile
Loved your warm heart

With you by my side
I was able to fight the darkness
I was able to see light growing inside
I was able to breathe freely

But with you gone
I feel like I’m suffocating
My heart aches so badly
That I can’t take it anymore

I was able to see you again
One last time
And all I felt was pain
And guilt

I did this
I caused you to leave
I pushed you away so far
That you ran to the arms of another

And for that I can never forgive myself
The guilt hurts so much
I can’t breath
My body is attacking itself

My head is so full of thoughts
That I can’t make go away
I can’t live like this
With you no longer by my side

I love you so much
And I tried to be strong
But the longer I fight
The more pain I’m in

You wish me a good life
Thinking that I’m strong enough
But I hide my true intentions
So I don’t hurt you

I’m sorry
I should have fought my head harder
I should have shown you how much I cared
How much I loved you

But it’s too late
And I have lost
In both battles
Of the heart

I no longer have you
Who I loved so much I wanted to live
And I no longer have my will
To fight my never ending thoughts

So I forfeit the match
I have fought for as long as I could
This is the end for me
And the beginning for you

Tell me why
Why must I be the one that’s hurting
Why must I be the one in constant pain
Why must I never have happiness

Tell me why
Why must I always end up alone
Why must I always have my heart ripped out
Why must I always be broken

Tell me why
Why must I always be a burden
Why must I always be shoved aside
Why must I always be second and never first

Tell me why
I don’t understand at all
I do everything I can
To be the person you want me to be

Tell me why
Am I never going to be good enough
Will I ever get my chance
At a happily ever after

Tell me why
Why must I always endure
Why must I always shoulder this pain alone
Why must I be pushed down and stomped on

Tell me why
Why must everything be taken away
Why does it always have to be this way
Why can’t I be happy for once in my life

Tell me why
Why must I constantly live in fear
Why must I always cower and hide
I just want to know why me

I’m sorry I’m such a burden to everyone
I wish it didn’t come to this but I feel like
I have no choice in the matter anymore
I have lost the one person who I loved with my entire being

I lost all of my stuff
I lost my sanity
I tried so hard to push myself past this pain
But it’s getting to the point where I can’t breath when I wake up

My heart is trashed
My mind has turned completely savage on itself
Everyday the voices in my head
Are screaming at me

About how stupid I am
How I’m worthless
How deserve all this pain I’m in
And I’m starting to believe it

I fall asleep crying my eyes out
Begging for it to stop
My night terrors don’t help either
I rarely sleep so sometimes I just cry all night

Waking up with tear stains on my cheeks
As I grasp for my inhaler
I don’t know how much more of this I can take
I’m trying to be happy for him

To show that I’m glad he’s happy
And don’t get me wrong because I am
But at the same time
I’m slowly killing myself

I don’t think I will ever
Be able to get out of this
The pain is getting too real
My only wish is that he remains happy

That he enjoys his life to the fullest
I will watch over him
Make sure nothing bad comes his way
He was given my soul years ago

And I refuse to take it back
I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough
I’m sorry I might end up looking selfish
I’m sorry I will put so much suffering

Onto others for my choice
But I can’t do this any longer
Not by myself
Not without him

I’m so afraid right now
You come to be begging for help
But I can’t make out what you are saying
Your words are so cryptic I don’t understand

You say you are fine now
But why do I not believe it
I fear something happened to you
Something that you wish not to say

But how can I help you
If I don’t know what’s going on
I need to you speak to me
I need you to open your heart

Let me back in and voice your concerns
I’m only here to help
No ulterior motive
I just want to help ease your mind

You know I suffer from delusions
You know my mind creates horrific scenes
So please don’t hide what needs to be said
Or else my mind will imagine the worst

I understand I’m the last person
That you might want to speak to
But you came calling for help to me
And now I’m starting to fear the worst

Did she hurt you in some way?
Were you the one that hurt her?
So many things are rushing into my head
And with the way you came to me none are good


I’m so scared that something will happen
Something that will push you too far
If only you would share that burden
So I can help you the best I can

There is so much history
Between you and I
Some good and some bad
But I’m here to stay if you allow

You will always hold a special spot
Deep within my heart
And I’m sorry it took me
This long to get my head right

I’m back to my old self
The one you met so long ago
But my goals have changed
And I only want what’s best

I feel like I’m going crazy
My head is spiraling out of control
These thoughts that come flooding
Making me go insane

Pushing me to my limits
Causing me great pain
Pushing me so far
That I am unable to breath

Thoughts that push me so far
That my mind slowly cracks
And my demons threaten to escape
I’m so scared now

I feel like these thoughts
Are running out of control
Pushing me away from sanity
And closer to my doom

I’m so lost now
I wish things could get better
But I’m not sure if that’s possible
My heart and mind are no longer in sync

I just want this pain to end
I want to find the one I’m to be with
I want to stop the screaming voices
I need my life to turn around

I want to be free of the anguish
Free of this never ending battle
Between these vicious voices
And my ever breaking heart

So many issues
So little time
So much I need to get done
Yet there might not be any way to do it

So instead of doing the things I need to do
I’ve been battling with my thoughts
Pushing them away one by one
Until I am even able to move

You walk around
Like nothing is wrong
Hiding behind a chiselled mask
With crystal gems as eyes

Going through the motions
Like no one notices
But what you don't realize
There is me

I see the way your soul is damaged
I see the pain you wish to hide
So much pain it boils over
Threatening to burst from your mask

Though you are good at hiding
Though you are good at mending the cracks
I can see right through it
I just wish it would pass

But the more I see
The more pain you endure
I think it's time for me
To come out of hiding

No longer can I watch
As you writhe in agony
I can't let you do this alone
And I am here to help

Although you may think
That I am not able to see
We shared the same pain
So it's clear to me

The pain of self loathing
Of heartache
Of the fear of being alone
Of never finding the one who cares

Yet every time I see your face
I can't help but put on a smile
Because no matter what you say
No matter what you do

To me you are perfect
With all your flaws
All your worries
All your weaknesses

My heart became yours
So many years ago
But now it begs to return
Back to where it belongs

It urns to be by your side
To help you through
All the bad times
And to smile with you during the good

I hope this message
Can get through to you
Cause even if it doesn't
I swear to you

I will not rest
Until I see your face
Beaming so bright
With an authentic smile

The sorrow
The tears
The constant cries for help
All ignored and brushed away

I’m broken
Beat down by my own mind
Been that way for years
And yet my cries are never heard

I’m pushed away
Tossed around like garbage
No one really wants me around
And who can blame them anyway

My heart aches badly
But I know I can’t fix it
My mind screams loudly
Though I can’t silence it

The end of days is soon upon me
With no help how can one be expected
To continue this miserable existence
When all they get is ignored

I’m a burden on everyone I meet
I don’t deserve to live
Though I try so hard to voice my needs
It always ends in a fight

I no longer have a reason
A reason to exist
My heart is failing fast
I don’t know how much longer I have left

The one person I wanted to help me
The one person I cared about the most
The one person in which I love
Shoved me away to die

With heart shattered
And mind destroyed
I no longer have a reason
To continue this fight

No matter how hard I beg
No matter how hard I try
I can never fix this
Heaven knows I want too

My love runs so deep
That it hurts inside
My heart starts to burn
As pain runs through my chest

I have lost everything
There is nothing left for me here
No joy, happiness or love
Only sorrow and pain

So I wish you the best
Though I always have
For you to live
For the both of us

Cause even though
You ripped out my heart
And stomped it into the ground
I still love you to death

My soul shall remain by your side
For all eternity my love
For you were the only happiness
That I ever had

My love burns bright
Like a neutron star
Raging in the darkness
Bursting with new hope

When old love dies
New love blossoms
Creating a beautiful scene
With a splendid of color

The pain I once felt
Is slowly receding
Bring forth new hope
That I will be loved again

Though the pain of betrayal
Is still fresh in my heart
This new found joy
Is stitching it up

For when I am with you
All I feel is comfort
I feel the compassion from your words
And the kindness in your heart

Though I dare not speak it
My heart is already growing fond
I miss you when you are away
I crave you when you are near

My heart jumps when you talk to me
Flipping with such joy and hope
That one day it will be joined
By the heart which is inside you

Though we’ve known each other so little
We have talked to each other so much
We know each other’s weaknesses
Now we just need to build on each other

I’m willing to give it a shot
If you are with me
I don’t know if you know this
But I’ve already fallen for you

All you need is but say the word
And I shall follow you
To the ends of the world
Or even hell itself

There's this feeling inside my heart
And it's telling me that you love me
But sometimes you seem so cruel
I look in your eyes
And wish you didn't have to go

Then it all came to an end
But it's not a matter of what you do
My heart will always be with you
And I'll remember the times we had

And when I call out your name
It brings me to tears
I want to know how I can stay with you
I want to know how I can stay with you
I'm begging you with all my soul
You already have my heart
So take me with you


I just wish you could feel this pain
Deep inside my chest
Oh how I want to stay with you
Yet you walk away
Leaving me this way
All broken inside

And when I call out your name
It brings me to tears
I want to know how I can stay with you
I want to know how I can stay with you
I'm begging you with all my soul
You already have my heart
So take me with you

I'm all alone
I need you to know I love you
Oh god take me with you
Don't leave me here like this
How am I to survive like this
Without you
Without you

There's a darkness in my heart
And it's starting to break out
The sky starts burning up
Flames of old and flames of new
Burning everything in its path

I can't let go of all the pain
That comes with the world
Maybe it's better to just
End it all right now
I know that you feel the same way too
But that's not how the cards fall down
Push through it all and it will turn around

Scream and shout
Hear my voice across the sky
Beg and plead
Hear the sound of my voice
As it soars across the sky

Where do we go from here
Why do we even care
Where is my love at now
Where have they gone

Scream and shout
Hear my voice across the sky
Beg and plead
Hear the sound of my voice
As it soars across the sky

I'm begging you please don't go
Our story's not over yet
But you don't care

Do you
Do you
Do you

Scream and shout
Hear my voice across the sky
Beg and plead
Hear the sound of my voice
As it soars across the sky

I'm falling on my knees
Begging you please
Won't you stay with me
But off you go
Right out that door

The darkness in my heart
Growing stronger evermore
And as I call out your name
With the last bit of my strength
I call out in love

I'll miss you
I'll miss you
I'll miss you

With each passing day
This heart grows weaker
Burning itself up
In the flames of despair

Longing for something
That will never be
It rips and tears
Bleeding out it’s cries

As the heart inflates
The burning intensifies
Threatening to stop the heart
And end the life of the one who hold it

Buckling over in agony
From the pain deep within their chest
Crying out for some kind of relief
As tears run down their face

The pain intensifies so greatly
That the heart starts to falter
Missing beats and becoming unbalanced
As the blood builds up inside

Steadily with each day that passes
The body gets colder
Fearing that it’s coming to an end
They clench their chest tightly

Heavy breaths escape their lips
As it gets harder and harder to breathe
The heart is failing
And only one thing can set it free

But alas this thing
In which can set the heart free
May never happen
And if it might the chances are slim at best

Collapsing onto the floor
The body crumbles into a heap
The heart pulsing loudly
As it sounds it’s last beats

Tears run dry
As the body turns stiff
The heart stops pumping
As the eyes turn cloudy

Far from which this has occurred
The one who can stop it is unaware
Whether they are ignorant to the fact
Or simply wishes to ignore

This love that’s inside
This failed heart was real
As well as the pain
That it had endured

So weep if you care
For it is now too late
You have missed your chance
To save the one you need

The days are getting longer
Starting to blend in with each other
I’m losing track of time
My mind is slowly collapsing

I try so hard to move on
To push past this pain
But there’s a constant reminder
Imprinted in my body

A constant reminder
Of what you called me
I got it cause I wanted to be with you
For the rest of time itself

But now it’s only role
Is to remind me
I lost you forever
And won’t get you back

I can’t bare to look at myself
For every time I see it
My heart dies even more
Pushing back through that hospital door

I need it removed or covered
Or it will be the death of me
For its only now a reminder
Of how much of a fool I am

I loved you unconditionally
Pushed my beliefs aside
Cared for you when you were sick
Held you as you cried

But none of that matters
Not to you at least
Because you went off to her
Just because she was nice

She has the same habits
That you do to destress
But trust me on this
She can’t love you like I do

She won’t do what you like
That’s something hard to find
You threw away something rare
A relationship with perfect sync

You turned lust into obsession
And pushed me away
We lost our entire lives
Because of one mistake you made

But I don’t blame you
I don’t care at all
Material things don’t matter
But you ripped out my soul

I’m in constant pain now
My heart threatening to fail
At every spike in emotion
But honestly I wouldn’t care

As long as I still had you
Standing by my side
I can’t do this alone
I need my wolf back

This little fox is slowly dying
His heart on the brink of failure
He needs his wolf back
By his side even if it’s one last time

For you see my dear wolf
This foxes time is almost up
His heart can’t take much more strain
And it’s only getting worse with time

His heart is failing
But you don’t see it
He’s been hiding it for years
So you didn’t have to worry

But because of a condition
That he has kept secret
He has now signed his death warrant
And it’s only a matter of time

I doubt you will read this
Or even care to help
But not even doctors
Can properly treat this

They can only treat the side effects
Unless they go into surgery
But you know your fox
And how bad that would be

He has resigned to living in pain
Like he has done for years before you
But unlike before he can’t ignore it now
For the one who guarded him from the pain

Is no longer by his side protecting him
He is now all alone
Surrounded by the demons
Who were too afraid to come out

They are free to roam
Attacking without care
Destroying your fox with such veracity
There’s no longer an escape

He swore to you
He would never end his life
But he could never promise
His demons wouldn’t stop his heart

Rip away the silence
And break away these chains
My heart of hearts calls out to you
I just hope you are able to listen

My love will never die
No matter what you push me through
My love will only grow
From here on it’s for you

I slowly breathe
I will stand up tall
I can shout from the rooftops
And express my love for you

But would you have done the same
Or has this been completely one sided
I don’t think you ever felt the same
And it’s slowly killing me

I know I need to get help
But I refuse to until I know
Am I just imagining that you loved me
Or did you truly want my hand

I’m running out of time
Hoping so badly that I see
My wish becoming true
But I know

I know that’s only a pipe dream
You crushed my heart
Ripped it right out of my chest
And smashed it to the ground

If only you could see
The damaged you have done to me
Now all I’m able to do
Is curl up in a ball and cry

My life is now over
I can’t see the light
There is no end
To this dark and lonely place

I try and reach out
But I’m just ignored
I call out to you
Hoping you could understand

My love is undying
No matter what I try
My heart just calls out to you
It would rather die than be abandoned

And so I sit here crying
With my knees to my chest
Hoping that one day
I will get another chance

It pains me to see
That you no longer want me
But I must push through
And keep the hope alive

Cause if I don’t
I know I won’t survive
The pain that will ensue
Deep within my heart

Take this glue
And seal my heart
Fix the cracks
Which are leaking black

Save my soul
From rotting away
This pain is becoming
Unbearably real

My love is too strong
To just vanish like you want
It’s like a fire burning
Threatening to turn into ash

Place your hand
Upon my heart
And feel the blaze
That still remains

Growing stronger
With each passing day
I beg my heart
To stop this display

But to my dismay
It doesn’t listen
It does what it wants
Even if it causes pain

I beg and I plead
For this agony to end
For my suffering to stop
But it will never come

I try to distract myself
Distract my heart and mind
Put them on something else
Anything at all

But you always seem
To come crawling in
Setting my heart ablaze
And my mind turns dark

My love for you
Won’t stop growing
No matter how hard I try
My mind can’t stop it

The heart wants what the heart wants
Or at least that’s how the saying goes
But right now it feels like all it wants
Is to destroy itself through endless suffering

With just a simple flutter of a thought
My day could turn from the happiest I’ve had
To the darkest in which I dread
Begging for the end of time

Oh how I miss our talks
I miss waking up to you
I miss you holding me as I fall asleep
Feeling safe from the night terrors that creep

I miss the way you smiled
When you looked my way
The way you joked around
To cheer me up on a rainy day

I miss the comfort you gave me
The laughs we shared
The embraces that kept me warm inside
Warning the darkness to step aside

But now I’m alone
There is no safety
I’m terrified to sleep
And even more so to wake

This feeling inside me
Grows stronger and stronger
I don’t know how much more I can take
Before this life is pushed to the end

When I get excited
I instinctively turn my head
Thinking you are still by my side
But then I see there’s no one there

I stare at the empty spot on my bed
The one that you use to fill
And tears start to fall
As I lose all self control

The tears that burn so much
Like acid drops on my skin
The tightness of my chest
The aching in my heart

I end up in a ball
Crying out to the Gods of old
Pleading for mercy
From this cruel fate

Pleading with all my heart
For just one more chance
To make it right
In exchange for my soul

People keep saying
That things will get better
But with each passing day
Things just keep getting worse

The darkness grows more black
Swallowing up all the light
Pushing me ever deeper
Down this pit of despair

Try as I might
I can’t seem to fight back
I keep losing the battle
Falling deeper and deeper

I keep getting told
That I shouldn’t be with him
That it’s best that he left me
That I’m better without him

But the longer this goes on
The harder it is for me to see
The light that will come out of this
And it’s slowly killing me

My chest won’t stop aching
Yet it’s been months
I feel like I’m dying
Over and over

I don’t know what to do
Every time I try to move forward
I’m pushed backwards
To thoughts of us

It feels like my heart will fail
From this ever growing pain
That’s deep in my soul
Begging for him to return

If only my mind wasn’t shattered
If only I did things differently
If only she didn’t come into his life
Them maybe things would be different

Maybe I would still be with him
Maybe I wouldn’t be in so much pain
From losing the one I love the most
But I fear my time is almost up

I grow weaker with each passing day
My migraines are getting worse
And the pain in my chest grows rapid
I fear I will never get him back

I fear that I will die before that can happen
That my life will end very soon
Because what most people don’t know
Is that a broken heart can be fatal

My mask is completely shattered now
I can no longer hide my emotions
I can no longer hide my true feelings
My life has turned upside down

There is no one who can help anymore
I’ve become so broken
That I am now beyond repair
Though I won’t stop you from trying

The mask I use to hide behind
Was cracked and splintered
But I could still hide behind it
But these past few months have shattered it

My life turned into turmoil
Causing misery so great
My soul is beginning to rot
My mind ground into fine dust

My heart aches with every beat
My nights filled with terror and tears
My days filled with loneliness and despair
My dreams turn to vile memories of the past

I lay curled up in a ball
Upon my bed
With my cat trying to comfort
This poor destroyed soul

I question my existence
Asking why I am even alive
When all I attract
Is pain unto myself

This is no way to live
But I no longer have the strength
To mask my true self
Or climb out of this hell by myself

And the one who held my hand
The one who kept me from falling
The one who was able to shine
A light in this eternal darkness

The one who could pull me out
And free me from this misery
Has abandoned me
Or so it feels like it

The darkness turns violent
And I turn down a self destructive path
I continuously ask myself
Why must I be alone

Why must I lose
Everything I hold dear
Why must I be left
To fend for myself

To be without
A shining light
To help me find my way out
Of the ever growing darkness

Maybe I have cursed myself
To never be happy
To only know despair
And lose everything that I love

So I cry myself to sleep
Wishing things would change
Wishing that my light had stayed
So I wouldn’t be so alone

Begging the Gods
To bring my light back
So that I may be able
To survive just one more day

Everything I wanted
Everything I required
Everything I craved
I now know I will never receive

No matter how much I beg
No matter how hard I try
No matter what I do
My wishes will never come true

My hope has died
I no longer feel the warmth of life
I only feel the cold embrace
Of death

My heart is going numb
My soul feels dead
My mind is on a path
Of complete self destruction

I call out for help
But to no avail
My calls are not heard
By the one who can fix me

My heart rate descends
My fear becoming reality
I’m all alone
With no one to help

I’m alone in these walls
Built for protection
But now all they provide
Is bitter solitude

My mind is caving inward
Threatening to implode
And all I can do
Is sit in my corner and cry

Huddled up tightly
With knees indenting my chest
Tears run down
Staining my skin

Makeup is a mess
I look upward in hopes
Of seeing you care
But alas I’m in solitude

You are no where to be found
And all I can do
Is fight my own mind
To not relapse again

For if I relapse
It will be the final time
No more across the bridge
No more shallow cuts

My life will be forfeit
Just like my heart
Which now rots
Deep inside my chest

Although it still beats
All it feels is pain
So intense it is breaking
Over and over again

Not a day goes by
Where it stops
My heart beats loudly
Hoping for you to come back

But you aren’t coming back
My heart is calling
For something that’s no longer there
And that hurts a hundred times worse

No longer can I keep bearing this pain
No longer can I keep waiting for the impossible
No longer can I destroy myself
So instead I will sacrifice this love

I will use it as an eternal source
For your eternal happiness
I don’t need the ability
To love anymore

Because the only one
I will ever love
Is you
And only you

There are times in our lives
Where we wish we could turn back time
We feel out of place
Like we’ve been replaced

Our mind run a muck
While our heart cries out
Begging for a new beginning
But we run and hide

Our minds shatter
We are running out of time
Holding onto the bits that remain
We cry

We beg for renewal
Stammering for approval
Clinging to the hope
We try

Holding fast to the love
That we once knew about
We cling to the hope so tight
We fly

Soaring high in the sky
Searching for approval
Running from the looks
Of denial

Run around the desire
Chasing approval
Holding onto the hope
We cry

Wishing we could turn back time
We beg for approval
We run around in circles
Until we die

We buy a one way ticket
Praying we find the answers
Running from denial
We fly

Chasing approval
Seeking the love
We once knew
We cry

Running in circles
Chasing approval
Hoping we can find
A place to thrive

Running round
And around
And around
We cry

Wishing we could turn back time
Just for one more chance
Just one to get it right
Before we die

We beg for renewal
Stammering for approval
Clinging to the hope
We try

Holding fast to the love
That we once knew about
We cling to the hope so tight
We fly

Soaring high in the sky
Searching for approval
Running from the looks
Of denial

Run around the desire
Chasing approval
Holding onto the hope
We cry

Wishing we could turn back time
We beg for approval
We run around in circles
Until we die

We buy a one way ticket
Praying we find the answers
Running from denial
We fly

Chasing approval
Hoping we can find
A place to thrive
We try

Our minds shatter
We are running out of time
Holding onto the bit that remain
We cry

These last few days
Have been filled with loneliness
Feeling the solitude
Of numb emotions

My heart stops feeling
My soul has gone cold
My body numb
My mind blank

I lost myself
Losing all reflection
And yet
My dreams turn dark

Night terrors attack
Spreading fear and sorrow
I cry in my sleep
And wake in a sweat

I'm terrified to sleep
I lie in bed
Staring at the ceiling
While my cats sleep by my side

I take my meds
That are suppose to stop
The night terrors from coming
But they don't work correctly

They still come
I just don't remember
I feel the fear
But I don't know why

The loneliness is killing me
The fear of sleeping alone
In this big bed
With nothing but my cats

I hold my pillows tightly to my chest
In hopes that it will shield me
From the evil that lurks
Inside my mind

But alas the only thing
That sets my mind at peace
Is the feeling I get
When I sleep next to someone I trust

You call me childish
You call me selfish
You call me all these things
Just because I relapse and hurt myself

Don’t you see that I am sick
Don’t you get that I need help
Not criticism from my love
I need understanding

These thoughts that keep racing
Thoughts that everyone
Would be better off
If I was no longer around

Thoughts of self hate
Thoughts of suicide
Thoughts that bring so much pain
That it’s hard to breathe

I need help
So badly
Before I end up
Doing something permanent

That is something
I don’t wish to do
I want so badly
To feel better

But every time you leave
Every time you berate me
I feel so much worse
Than I already did

It makes me feel
Like you hate me
That you despise my existence
That I should no longer exist

And that brings me even more pain
So much suffering it is unbearable
I cry myself to sleep every night
Hoping things will change for the better

But they always seem to get worse
They say it gets better with time
But I’ve been fighting this sickness
For so many years now

The only solace I had
Was in the love that you showed me
But now that that is gone
I have nothing left

The thoughts have been
Getting louder and louder
Threatening to snap my mind
Making it harder to see the good

I ask you this one thing
Do you actually hate me
Or do you just not understand
That I’m fighting with my own mind

Fighting these negative thoughts
Fighting to breathe
Fighting to love
Fighting for just one more day

One more day of being alive
One more day of feigning happiness
Hoping it turns into true happiness
I am fighting everyday


It is an ongoing battle
One that is a struggle
Cause this is one battle
That lasts a lifetime

Thou pain is thine to burden
Thou love is thine to shelter
Be it not of obligation
But out of respect for another

Thy heart and soul
Intertwined with thou
Thy hope is nigh
For thy field is barren

Be that as it may
Thy soul still urns
For thou soft whisper
In thine ear

Be swift yet brutal
With thy piercing words
For thou hast lost
All of thy fear

List not my transgressions
But announce thine triumph
For if thou walketh the dark path
Thou will only hurt thineself

The flame of love
So contained while it's flourishing
But remove the barriers of love
And the flame turns on you

It sets you ablaze
As the flame turns dark
Causing unbearable pain
As you wish for it to end

You try so hard
To put up a wall
Around this new flame
But to no avail

It burns so hot
You feel like you could melt
Your chest clenched tightly
As every beat pounds

Holding tightly
You ask yourself
What did I do
To deserve this pain

But you hear no response
No whisper to let you know
That the flame that's inside
Is the flame of sorrow

It burns so vibrant
It threatens to burn
Right out of your chest
Leaving you hollow inside

But nothing can help
Only time will tame it
For when this flame burns
All hope feels lost

You beg and plead
For it to stop
But the best you can do
Is calm the sorrow

Do other things
Hang out with friends who care
For they will help you heal
Over this time of torture

Forget about the past
Cause you can't change it
Things happen that's out of our control
And it's okay to feel hurt

But just remember
That burning inside
The flame that seems to never die
Will slowly fade away in time

Death be swift in consuming this angel
For the pain is too great for it to bear
The pure being of love and joy
Now rotting with sorrow and misery

Fear taking hold of the angels mind
Causing delusions of demons’ cry
Running around in a circle
Trying to hide from the pain

Anguish takes hold in the angels heart
Causing burning and stabbing within the chest
He clenches tightly to hold it back
Till finally it bursts with full impact

Tears run down this once perfect face
Tears like acid burning the flesh
Looking up at the one who caused it
The angel whispers I love you still

Though the angel is in great pain
All the angel knows is how to love
He was not taught how to hate
But to love with his whole being

I don’t see how you can act so happy
While I’m barely holding myself together
I am fighting everyday
Not to breakdown and cry

Yet here you are
All hyper and giddy
With your teeth all showing
Like you don’t care that I’m hurting

I break down and try
To act like I’m fine
But all it brings me
Is this deep hatred inside

This hate that I feel
Is more for myself
While I look at you
Pretending everything’s alright

I feel I must hide it all
Or risk angering or annoying you
So I hide my face at night
While I cry myself to sleep

I see no hope
I see no light
For in my future
There is no sight

I can’t take this pain
It burns me so
But what hurts me the most
Is you’re not in pain too

I can’t keep beating myself up
For every lie that you told
You made me so paranoid
I felt like I was going insane

Now you give me freedom
And what’s sad about that
Is that I don’t want the freedom
From your loving hate

So I beg and I plead
For us to give it another shot
But now I know the truth
You’ve been hiding for so long

Your heart has belonged to another
For several months now
And you hide it from everyone
Thinking that it’s nothing

But what you don’t understand
Is the lives that are involved
Are entangled in this sea
Of perpetual sorrow

So please next time you feel this way
Look deep inside yourself
And ask one simple question
Is this really love or just lust

Cause we confuse the two
It’s in our DNA
We are programmed for procreation
So we have to rewrite our brains

Connect it in our hearts
Feel it in our souls
Watch carefully
As the picture unfolds

Seeing the truth
Being set free
Lies that were told
Now in the open

I see now that you lost your love for me
A while ago
You stopped caring about me
I was no longer your number one

I was always second best
To this new person in your heart
Why did I not see it
When it was so plain to see

But that’s what love does
It makes us blind
To the possibility
Of our love betraying us

I thought we would be together
For the rest of our lives
Have a white picket fence
With children running wild

But now I see
That it will never be
You gave up on us
The moment you saw her

Rip my heart out
Watch it bleed
Dripping down your hands
As it soaks the sand

My love was eternal
But now turns to dust
As I lay here shattered
Begging to be put back together

But alas my words fall
Onto deaf ears
For you don’t care
For my love no more

You lost the love
You had for me
And now I lay
A hollowed husk

Where do I go from here
After being with you so long
Who am I anymore
What purpose do I serve

These questions are a mystery
And so I ponder
What happens now
To this hollowed husk

I guess I need to find myself
Pull myself back together
Close up the wounds
And never give my heart out again

For this loss has shattered
The last hope I had
Of having a happy life
With someone I held dear

So now lost forever
In a sea of turmoil
I drown slowly
Waiting for deaths embrace

For when I go
It will be with you
Or it will be alone
That I promise you

Hallowed halls of sovereign hearts
Echoing out the darkest art
Casting shadows and fright
In ancient eyes begin to rot

Seek thee out oh hollowed flame
For thou be swift and come again
Cast thy silhouette over hopes and dreams
For in this night they begin to flee

Run and hide while you can
The screams come swiftly
For in this corridor of lost love
Lurks the greatest pain of all

The ghost of heartache and betrayal
Of misery and agony
Screeching and howling
Pleading for it to stop

But no matter what
The pain stays there
It never heals fully
Always ready to split open again

With each passing day
The light inside me dies
Surrounding me in eternal darkness
And snuffing out any form of happiness

I beg and I plead for relief
But it never comes
It only gets worse
And I can’t take it anymore

I love him with every fiber of my being
Yet nothing I say or do matters
It’s like he doesn’t care anymore
And I’m tired of this pain

I try and I try
To hide all of it
From his gaze
But I can’t hide forever

He says he still cares for me a lot
But honestly with his actions
It speaks the opposite
I just wish he would speak the truth

Speak from your heart
Don’t hide anything
Let it all out
Just like I have done

Lay your very soul
Upon the table bare
So we can finally understand
One another’s feelings

I fear that I don’t have much left
My will is slowly fading
I’ve already reverted back to self harm
Soon it will start to get worse

My heart will start to decay
Turning off all care for life
I will constantly be fighting
My darkest of thoughts

Thoughts that I haven’t had
Since I was a teenager
Thoughts that I could suppress
Just by looking at him

Seeing his dorky grin
The smell of his skin
The gentleness of his touch
The love in his eyes

These things made me so happy
That I couldn’t think like that
I didn’t want to think like that
All I cared about was being with him

Now I have mixed feelings
Feelings of betrayal and fear
Of longing and anger
Of love and regret

I know he won’t talk
Cause every time we try
It just makes it works
Cause he won’t say anything

I ask if things will be okay
I ask if I will ever be with him again
But all he says is give it time
And I see no love in his eyes

I see no more longing
No more want
No more pleading
Just vacant eyes staring back

I start to ponder
If I was ever good enough
If I will ever make it through this
Will I ever be happy again

But with how things are going
I doubt I will ever be happy
My heart is in so much pain
I feel like I’m dying

And it’s only getting worse
With each passing day
So I beg of you
Just talk to me one last time

Let everything out
Don’t hold back
There is so much to say
That you try and hide

I can no longer breathe
The air which kept me alive
Is now but carbon dioxide
Burning my lungs to ash

I fear what is to come
I fear what has happened
I fear what is happening
But most of all I fear not having you

My state of mind has gotten so bad
That the simple task of eating
Is making me sick
I don’t know how much longer I can go on

My heart maybe stone now
But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel anything
The pain that was there already
Is trapped inside

It’s spiraling out of control
Pushing me to the verge of destruction
The meds I take are no longer working
And I fear going to sleep

For when I try
I can’t sleep for long
I wake a few moments later
Terrified for my life

These night terrors are getting worse
And it’s so hard to look past them
There’s darkness all around
Destroying me from inside out

Ever slowly the winds do change
I become numb to everything
Hoping for a change
For you to return

But honestly I feel
That I am holding on
To a pipe dream
That will never come true

My heart cries out
My soul bleeds for you
It feels like I will die
From just one more *****

I hope for you to see
The damage that has been done
So maybe you will understand
What I’m going through

So take the time to listen
Don’t interrupt or run
Cause in order for me to get through this
I have to be honest with you

I can no longer feel emotion
No more pain
No more sorrow
No happiness or love

My heart has gone cold
I no longer feel anything
Though I wish I did
It’s barren in my heart

For how long this time
I have no clue
But at this present moment
It might be for the best

Cold as stone
Free from anguish
From temptation and sorrow
Life is funny this way

I still have my caring nature
But no one new will get my love
My happiness is completely gone
So I’m now a shell

A shell with nothing inside
Death no longer concerns me
Heartache and misery have no hold
For this stone cold heart

My mind has gotten so dark now
Only thoughts of death and self harm remain
I wish so badly it wasn’t like this
But I think it’s about time

I’m losing myself slowly
Been that way for months
I’m starting to spiral downward
Into a bottomless pit

Death now seems like the only way out
Cause if it persists any longer
I won’t know who I am anymore
I’ll just be a hollow shell

A shell full of love for someone
Who doesn’t want to be with me
A shell of pain and agony
A shell that will soon crumble

My life is about over
And there’s nothing I can do
To stop this ever growing pain
From causing great harm

My love will be eternal
That much I know
But knowing whether or not it is received
Is something I can’t wait for long

I’ve fallen into the self destructive path
Soon to become nothing but ash
My soul will always be yours
I just wish it was still the same for you

Slowly I fade
Into the black of death
Sorrow and despair take hold
As the life in me dims

I love you with my entire being
And this will never change
But I’m starting to get worse
Right in front of your eyes

Though you can’t see it
Because I’ve hidden it from you
It is happening quickly
Soon I will be no more

I hope you understand
That it wasn’t my choice
But I wish to the heavens
This wasn’t going to be

Though darkness tempts at my door
I dare not open
I dare not breath
I dare not give up the love I have

My heart may ache
My chest may burn
But what keeps me going
Is the love I have for you

You may not have the same for me
But I can’t stop loving you
The way that I do
I love you so

So deeply my mind is destroying itself
So deeply is my depression
That I can’t even eat without feeling sick
So deeply that I can barely breath

So deeply that just being alone
Has caused me to have night terrors again
The PTSD I have has gotten worse
My anxiety spiraling out of control

I’m paranoid of everything
If only you could see
How much my love for you
Is slowly killing me inside and out

My body goes numb
My mind races wild
My heart feels like it’s dying
Maybe it is my time

Maybe it’s time for me to pass
Give in to the pain that I feel
Feel that burning around my heart
As I curl up in agony

Maybe it’s a stroke
Maybe my heart is dying
I mean you can actually die
From a broken heart

Slowly I am starting to get weaker
I can feel my soul slipping over
I feel the cold embrace creeping towards me
As I sit here hiding it all from you

I don’t wish for you to see
How much pain this is for me
I don’t want you to hate yourself
I just want you to love me again

So I beg you
Look into your heart
Listen to what it cries out
And mend my dying heart

Some people view internal pain as a joke
But what they don't realize is if left unchecked
That pain can become external and hurt even worse
Like right now I feel like I'm having a stroke

Though I know it's nothing that serious
It hurts just the same
Feeling the numbness and burning
All around my heart

Gripping it so tightly
That my lungs start to collapse
My breathing begins to hasten
As my chest compacts within

Clawing at my chest
I begin to rip skin
Hoping that the pain
Will soon end

But sadly it doesn't
And I start to panic
Grabbing the closest sharp object
And slicing across my wrists

The pain subsides for a time
As the blood trickles down my arms
Feeling the sting as the air brushes the wounds
Causes a temporary fix to the sorrow I feel

Though I know it's not a good thing to do
I can't do anything else
Cause I made a promise to him
That he would never come home to a dead body

So I sit here staring at the crimson lines
Tears filling up my eyes
As the fog over
Hoping for time to rewind

You come at me screaming
With rage in your heart
Threatening me with violence
But I stand still

You think you are scary
But you have no idea
What goes on in my head
Everyday of my life

You scream and shout
That no one wants me around
Don’t you think I already know that
That it’s all I ever feel like

I stay to myself
I have little to no friends
I hide in the shadows of my mind
Waiting for deaths embrace

Compared to my head
Your threats are nothing
But a glorious welcome
To deaths open arms

So go ahead
Act on your aggression
Push me and beat me
You are only fulfilling my wish

End my pain
Take away the sorrow
Remove the last breath
And end the suffering

But if you think for one second
I’m just going to run and hide
Think again
Cause I’m not the type to run away from death

I walk towards it willingly
Grasping at the edges
Feeling the soft ends
Of deaths beautiful cloak

So please continue to belittle me
Scream and shout some more
Show the world you are just a child
In an adult body

Push me over the edge
Make me bleed out
Cut me with your fists
Cause your words do nothing

They are void
They have no meaning
You want so hard for me to attack
But that will never happen

Try all you want
My emotions stay the same
For if you’ve forgotten
You can scare someone with a death wish

But sadly death doesn’t want me yet
So you will be wasting your time
I have survived all attempts
My work is not yet finished

My door will not open
Not for you or for me
So go ahead and try it
It will only end up in vain

They say you need to let things go
Forgive and forget
But that’s really hard to do
With you care for someone so deeply

You can always forgive
But deep down you know
The trust that was once there
Is gone forevermore

Try as you might
You can’t escape the thoughts
Thoughts of jealousy
Betrayal and mistrust

You hammer them shut
Deep in your subconscious
But somehow they keep surfacing
Like a shark who smells blood

You try to numb yourself
Hide the emotion in the thoughts
But that only last so long
Before eventually you snap

No matter how many times you talk
It always seems to be the same
One doesn’t care
While the other cares too much

These things can break you
Shatter your soul into pieces
Rip your heart right out of your chest
In fear of day to day events

Tread lightly with your next move
For every thought that comes up
There’s always a reason
Why they weasel on in

It could be despair
It could be happiness
Just focus on what’s around
And never assume it goes away

Ripping and tearing
The heart strings cry
Feeling it's soul
Cast aside

Agony grips tight
As darkness closes in
The light that was once there
Now fades to black

Fear takes hold
As the soul begins to fade
Am I dying?
Or am I just going numb

I wish I knew the answer
Of this simple question
Was it all for nothing
Or will you come back

Best thing about DID
Is the Alters who take the trauma
That the host can't handle
For it pains the host too much

Trauma that is forgotten
The memories and pain
All forgotten
In the blink of an eye

Today another is born
To take the most painful of memories
Ones of betrayal, lies and deceit
Of the one the host wants in life

Love that is non fleeting
Love that brings pain
Love that is so sorrowful
That it can rip the host apart

So here I stay
For the host to remain safe
I have been created
To burden this grief

Though not many know
What DID is and how it works
It's easy to learn
If you do some research

Today we talk
With the one the host loves
But there is a time limit
For I go to eternal slumber in a week

His choice is what determines my fate
Whether I go to sleep
Or if I get melded back into the host
My only wish is he chooses wisely

Cause even though
Eternal slumber sounds nice
It is a torture
Like none other

I will be in a constant nightmare
Thrashed into repeating this event
Over and over
Till I finally crack

I lay here
Crying myself to sleep
While you are off galavanting
With whoever you want

You don't see the tears
Because I hide them too well
Been that way
For many many years

Oh how I wish
That you could understand
The crippling pain
That I am in

But alas you are blind
By this new love you found
Brushing me aside
So you may chase what you can't have

They are in a relationship
And you are trying to ruin that relationship
Just so you can have them
But you don't even see what's in front of you

Oh how I long
For you to see me
To see how much I care
To see how deep my love runs

But that will never happen
You will remain blind
Cause you refuse to open
Your eyes to anything

Love is fleeting
Or so they say
But no matter what I do
I can't get over you

I beg and I plead
to the higher powers above
For months and months
To get over you

But try as I may
The love is still there
Causing heartache
Causing pain

You say lots of things
But never the one thing I need
For you to tell me it will be okay
And that we will get through this together

My love for you has grown eternal
And I fear it will be forever so
Because everytime I see you
It grows a little more

Seal thy heart
Let it rot
Bleed it dry
Watch it wither

Feel the thorns
Entwine thy corpse
Sprinkle the salt
Feel the sting

Shrivel up tight
Feel the contractions
As thy eyes
Dry up inside

Love is gone
Wilted away forever
The pain gone
Lost forever more

You ask beggingly
For utter forgiveness
Only silence comes
To thy ears

Blood turned ash
The love dies
Scream and shout
To no avail

I am gone
You lost me
Never to regain
Forever