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Húmblëkídd Dec 2019
Feelings fade, memories replayed,
Drop dead in bed, dreams begin, so sweet I begin to sin,
Lust, agony, amazing love and abilities to fly,
Dreaming phases and in phases I can't die.
Standing in mid air, light flare, eyes full of joy tears.
Never would I want to leave and I inhale the breeze then exhale and sneeze.
Amen! I scream so happy and prosperous in my dreams,
Never did I seem to unlikely have a Queen.
So beautiful so pure and clean as I imagine her on my team.
Standing on sand, the beach so clear and has a blue beautiful scene,

I guess it would be nice making her my wife, but its my dreams, it's not real life.
Panic, demons interrupt, and I try to make them stop,
Get out, stay away, get the **** out of my head,
They laugh and reply saying they're not leaving until I'm dead.
So a battle to regain my strength, God and his Evil son at war,
Hearts bursting, earth filled with blood and bodies of many fallen angels with tears of claws,
She comes the she goes over sun, rain and snow,
Tipping on her toes, because she doesn't want me to know.
Her love may not be mine, no not mine to keep, so I whisper to my pillow and wipe my tears in my sheets,
In pain no more smiles, the dream dies,
Exit in gun play, blood stains and marrow drains,

No one can help not ever her, not like she could anyway.
Heavy dents in a room called 666, with no air vents,
So many doors, hideous faces on the walls with an insane amount of claws,
Like they're getting through, no maybe they're getting in,
In this dream at least, but why I feel it under my skin.
And I ravel, twist and I turn, and moan because I'm not at ease,
Please oh Lord please I plea, rolling shaking in agony,
My Queen left, my dream crashed and now the demons is gorna get me.
A sudden headache, so I hold my head and squeeze in my face,
I'm regaining strength, and subtracting void from my space.
Filling it with light, water and all elements to make my world where my Queen can come back, my dreams restart and the demons disappear at last.
Bus Poet Stop May 2015
Thedermatologist demands a pre-summer scan of my visual delights fully magnified.

Peering into places where no one else has ever peered, even me, reminds me that this is a potentially "disruptive" process.

Eye don't know what his eyes have seen.  

He works in silence pin punctuated by the occasional mmmm or throat clearing rumble.

Snappy removal of neutrally colored gloves signify conclusion, he opines as follows:

"Were you aware," he inquires, "that the lines, the furrows on a your forehead correspond to the life your have lead?"

"You have three, deep deep tracks, and that's a fact."

Yes, eye know,
and each one is a tree ring notation
of my existence.

Each a different year,
each a different moment fearful,
a death and a birth,
a passing, a regaining.

No, not children or parents,

Markers of our lives are the
birth and death of our illusionary,
our revelation minutes, that measure and scribe
what dug those furrows is now officially,
no more.

Until we start anew,
a different Pretense,
a channel commenced to commemorate.

Living the dream, they say,
aren't we all, eye think, and so inform him.

The doctor did not bill for this
John Niederbuhl Oct 2016
Doctor, Doctor
I've trouble with my eyes

Then take these blue pills,
That's what I advise

Oh Doctor, Doctor
My bones are all sore

White pills I prescribe
They'll hurt you no more

But Doctor, Doctor
My heartbeat is waning

Take red pills for that
You'll soon be regaining

Please Doctor, please
My mind fades away

For that I have gray pills
You'll be sharper today

Its quite shocking Doctor,
My ***** is murky

Take these yellow pills
They'll clear it by Thursday

I mope around Doctor,
My mood's really flat

These rose colored pills
Will take care of that

You must help me Doctor,
In bed I'm a flop

Then try these long capsules
They'll liven things up

Tell me please Doctor,
What's inside these pills?

Why medicine, of course,
To cure all your ills
mannley collins Aug 2014
It was but was not god nor  goddess.
It was but was not deva nor devi.
It was but was not angel nor demon.
It was but was not metaphysical being of any kind.
It was but had not any name nor could it be named.
It was but had not any  face nor likeness.
It was but had not any body or corporeal state.
It was but had not any form nor lack of form.
It was but not incarnate nor disincarnate.
It was but was not existent nor non-existent.
It was but could be described in words in any way.
It was but had not depth nor height nor breadth nor volume.
It was  but could not be measured in any way.
It was but had not materiality of any kind.
It was but had not immateriality of any kind.
It was but had not space nor lack  of space.
It was but had not direction nor lack  of direction.
It was but had not nothingness.
It was  but had not somethingness.
It was but had not anythingness.
It was but had not beingness.
It was but not Isness or non-Isness.
It was but had not light nor dark.
It was but had not wetness nor dryness.
It was but was not nowhere.
It was but was not nowhere.
It was but was not somewhere.
It was but was not anywhere.
It was and then It manifested the nature of Its essence
and became the universe and all that was in the universe.
All that was incarnate and disincarnate.
All that was physical and metaphysical.
All that was existent and non-existent.
And still It was.
It manifested Itself in ignorance of Its own nature as the Isness of the Universe,
in order to participate in the existence It had created from Its own essence,on an equal and fair level with humanity.
It gave of its own essence by putting a small piece of its own essence--the individual Isness-which is equal and autonomous and individual and independent--into all human bodies,both female and male,at conception.
And It made humans ignorant of their nature--the  individual Isness--
as It  made itself ignorant of Its own nature.
And then It set humans and Itself the Riddle of the Existence
that had come from Its manifestation of its nature as the universe and all that was in it.
It posed these three questions to humanity and to Itself.
1--Who am I?.
2--Why am I here?.
3--When I knowhow I am then what is my purpose?.
Who am I?.
Like all humans,and for the sake of fairness,
It manifested Itself  into ignorance of its own nature also.
The Isness of the Universe set humans the task of realising their own nature--which is the individual Isness--as an equal individual autonomous and independent part of the essence of the Isness of the Universe,so that they could then show the Isness of the Universe Its own essence and then share existence together.
The principle governing Its action in creating the universe and all it contains, especially humanity,was that before you can reach the heights of existence you must go through the depths of existence.
Why am I here?.
Obviously I am here to answer the first question.
After answering the first question --which can only be done existentially and not intellectually--
there would then be the third question to be answered.
The answer to the first question lies in regaining your existential nature--the individual Isness--as a small but equal,independent, individual,nameless,formless,genderless and non-physical Isness formed from the Isness of the Universe which is free from Mind and Conditioned Identity.
The answer  does  NOT lie in amassing the false knowledge of all "religions" and "political systems  that the Mind and Conditioned Identity have created in order to mislead the individual Isness from realising ,existentially,its true nature.
The Isness of the Universe  did not want a world of maniputed puppets,as the Mind/Conditioned Identity,does but in order to achieve fairness in solving the Riddle of Existence,it gave humanity these attributes and the ability to live out their opposites.
Freedom of Will.
Freedom of Choice.
Freedom of speech.
Freedom of Truthfulness.
Freedom of Association.
Freedom of  Debate.
Freedom from Violence.
Agreement to Disagree.
Brielle Bishop Aug 2018
A triangle is a polygon
Three edges
Three vertices
A, B, C denoted
Scalene, Obtuse, Acute
No matter the internal angle,
The degrees,
You’ve never found that
Of an Equilateral appealing
Unable to relate,
Obtuse seems far more fitting
Difficult to understand
Two sides annoyingly sensitive, impossible
High hopes of overshadowing the smaller
Base of the shape
What the opposing angles
Fail to realize is nothing would be possible
Without the foundation
While the top portion remains
Sharp and ominous
The root exists patiently and quietly
For the value to be found
If I could, I would have
Used a fine tipped pencil
Versus a pen to sketch
If I could, I would erase both angles
To form a linear arrangement
Instead I dispose of the scratch sheet
Some equations are left unsolved
For temporary periods of time,
Regaining composure
The values of A and B discovered
So we start from the beginning
The base
Progressing from one stage to another
A singular line
Possesses more meaning than you may think
For instance
Roads that extend for miles
Through the flatlands of Kansas
The Midwest and back
To the heart of the desert
Outstretched limbs
Welcoming and warm
Beaten dirt paths
That eventually led me to you
MaiMai Oct 2018
Looking down at the ground, where  see all the leave.
  deep in thought, wondering why life isn't great as I imagined to be.
Sixteen trying to convince myself to believe that I'm ok, that my life is the same as the little girl that laughed everyday, no worry no care wondering how everything changed, attempting to grab a branch and gasp for air, like a tree that's full of leafs though one falls no one cares. Not wanting to show I'm changing like a leaf in the fall, wanting to be a positive role model people look up to but here I am on the ground, looking up for a hand while people look down. Like a leaf falls from a tree, losing it's ablity to produce the air we need. I'm falling and forgetting how to breath, covered by snow, buried in hate, but I  shouldn't lose hope because ever year the snow melts away, decomposing the leaf to feed the tree, helping it grow and regaining its green leaf.
Andrew Mar 2014
Sipping red wine is new to me, I enjoy it nonetheless
I find myself sitting in the nook of the couch
Laying in between my legs and on my chest you sip your wine
I love feeling your weight resting on me, our bodies coming together

The channels flick by as we both look for something to watch this evening.
I'm looking out the window. The sun has sunk below the horizon.
Without second guessing myself I reach for the remote in your hand
The tv snaps off and I wait to meet your eyes. Eventually you turn around.

Your look is a curious one; eyes open waiting for me to say something.
Then your head tips back and your eyelids drop as I see a smirk escape.
Both glasses make their way to the table before you turn to straddle me.
Now my eyes look at you with curiosity. Your skin glowing in the light.

Leaning forward almost laying your chest on my face I smell your perfume.
Before you can turn the light off I could see you were wearing a white bra tonight.
The view disappears and I feel you rocking slowly back on top of my lap.
Your silhouette sits in front of the window, with all the orange, pinks, greens, and blues.

Your waist narrows a bit as your arms fold in to take your shirt off.
There's just enough light. The smile on your face, so lovely, so.... happy.
One arm reaches behind and your white bra, that's a dim blue now, slips off.
This half naked woman in the shadows, forever ingrained in my memory.

You make your way to my waist, lips hovering over the skin exposed on my hips.
I enjoy your many growls as you playfully gnash your teeth on my skin
Making your way back up to eye level with me my shirt comes off by your sweet graces.
While you slip my arms through the sleeves I kiss your shapely ******* under wild giggles.

The light is all but gone in the room and from the sky. I can still see you though.
Leaning back, then regaining posture, a wine glass finds its way in your hand.
A long sip and inhale- glass down- you spread yourself evenly on top of me.
I suddenly feel intoxicated as wine enters my mouth when we kiss- not from the wine though..

This is what it must feel like to be drunk..
It was fifty four degrees inside last night since there was no electricity. Conjuring up this poem kept me a little warmer. Had trouble falling back to sleep.
Ken Pepiton Aug 2018
The fire knows nothing but burning,
we know breathing that way, naturally done for
our own sake.
We old still know sake and grant mean true immaterial things.
Sake and granted we take to mean

my good, your good, good sake grant me take me con

mentis sans carne

by golly.

Dada-esque wire spoke far writing ease
e everything e-literate e-mail

the boinin' in d'boozum, dat be da ting, da ting con sum in all ya'lifes.
be knowin' dat, be knowin' a-dam lie.
Jah know y'know, don' be sayin' no y'don'

Be happy. Jah know haps be hap'nin' allatime. *** sum, take wha's granted,
take all fo' free.

You got nothin' t'boin, nothin' to oin, be a bird brain seein' stars fo'

no. birds be sleepin' when stars be seen so birds consider nothin', sidereally.

Hmmm. Quit?
Walk away, say, I got nought to say I ought t' say.
No way.

Temporary tempt-test-u-us sitchee-ations,
suffer it so. It don' hurt t'say no f'now so

How'd that that shiny critter know my game? How'd it know,

I think
thisaway and it is gone, forever. (which has begun, btw)


The biosphere is regaining consciousness, Capitan.
Shall we continue burning?

What's the bullocks count?
How did those Dada ideas survive this long? Or are they gone, such non-sane suggestions, fountains of living waters flushed to oblivion?
Lou Jul 2017
At the Zoo

Patriots and faux exhibit and binge on synonyms of liberty printed on beer and underwear
Advertising what should be unspoken and inspired to pervert and romanticize
Preludes to the parades and finale above us all
Weeks of saturated irony
Cuckoo bird irony and BBQ
As they reform Phoenix, rebirth of distractions and thievery
Predators in ally ways pursing America's diamonds and legs

Then gunpowder
Gunpowder of colors and cuckoos
Layers of streets in gunpowder
Towns built of gunpowder
Sky is gunpowder
We are born addicted to led and gunpowder
Gunpowder ****** in the air
Success, display and diversion and more gunpowder to ingest.

The Grand Finale
The Volta of the evening
The hammer of the judge
*** appeal of death and nature flexing it's muscles-  
show us some skin!

Covering your ears
Eyes fastened-
Ready to burrow back to mothers womb
Binged and free
Chinese celebration hijacked
Red, White and Blue
And a moment of silence  

Orchestrated onomatopoeia in heaven
Chorus of arousal on Earth
Band marching war machines in hell

The showdown of 241 years!
This freedom we are all grateful to only talk about

Only free to battle shackling intoxication
Men and women tugging extra weighted offspring
Sulking for indoors and portable addiction  
Chanting three letter obedience
God being counted by his blessings
Fear and Statism in every breathe for salvation from our stick swatted enemies
Checkpoints that serve and protect asking for a toll;
liberty synonyms.
Arresting the too free

At the Zoo,

The cuckoos regaining reality.
The phoenix red eye and held under oath
To the next day where we are back
To hate each others freedom, again.
Written on the 4th of July.
In the heart of the Courtroom sat God with his Only Begotten Son The Christ to his right-hand side to the left-hand side was Lucifer fully armored with a Golden Celestial Horn which will be blown once the war speech commences. Directly in front of them sat 25 Golden Robed Kings dressed in a white tunic with Golden Crowns flowing above their heads. In the massive throne room, there were nearly 750,000 thousand Angels gathered to hear this important speech. Within the crowd, there was some excitement and yet commotion going into play. The Golden Armada Of ArchAngels was presently composed of only 8 Lv-1000 ArchAngels they are under God's direct command and they are the most powerful toughest meanest baddest Angels God has put aside for the most dangerous and toughest assignments ever to be imagined. What God didn't expect was about to happen he was about to get betrayed by one of his main Angels and he himself be tested with the greatest trial he would ever face. Suddenly, Lucifer blew the horn the speech was about to commence...

Meanwhile in Infernus...
Inrah is harnessing Infernus power and converting it into a massive ball of power by opening his mouth wide the energy ball that has a rainbow color to it gets bigger and bigger and has created a transparent shield covering him leaving the angels unable to attack him every attack they throw at him has failed whether it be a long ranged attack or a close-range attack. Sebastian added "If I were to attack the beast somehow in close range I could potentially aim my Holy Spirit Purple Flame Arrow Of Fate is one of the most powerful attacks I have in my repertoire of moves. Valerye tells Krillin to use stealth and cloak herself from enemy view and attack him from behind the skull of the dragon...the dragon had peaked power in its attack and aimed directly at the 4 ArchAngels floating in mid-air about 400 ft away. In a blink of an eye, Krillin shot at the Dragon with Heavenly Gun Celestial Ray Bullets to draw attention to the dragon. Leona had used her doppelganger to act and be portrayed as Krillin. That made Inrah believe all 4 was there. The bullets broke the shield behind Inrahs skull and 3 bullets penetrated his head exploiting deep within and causing huge rupture like holes on his head. Inrah lost power and was interrupted so the energy ball lost some power itself. Squad #6 realized this was their chance to take Inrah down Valerye being the muscular wise the strongest she leaped then teleported to Inrahs head and descended with a colossal attack disestablishing his power ball and exploding creating a distortion of ethereal space and the blast was so powerful that the Arch Angels suffered extensive damage to their armor. This time Inrah whole head had exploded and collapsed on itself Slowly but surely the tremendous beast with ferocious power had been silenced they all thought Inrah was dead. So each of them examines their selves Valerye had a crack on her shoulder side of her armor. Krillin had her armor almost intact except the broken shattered part of the crystal armature which some shards cut her left arm below the armpit. Krillin was bleeding but recovered phenomenally. Sebastian had Burn marks all over his lightweight armor. Leona had not suffered much due to the fact that she was observing the blast farther away. She had once again used her doppelganger to trick Inrah that she was Sebastian and had moved close to the energy ball when it was still in decent condition. Those golden seconds allowed her to teleport to a nearby location to observe the blast.
It had been 7 minutes and Inrahs head had not recovered...Exhausted from the long battle the Angels began to slowly fly away from the scene. However, Inrah was not dead yet and he gathered his last bit of strength to go back to his Arch Fiend form. The Arch-Fiend flashed and grabbed Valerye then Inrah began glowing dark energy and wouldn't let go of Valerye. So then all the other 3 members threatened Inrah to let go of Valerye then Inrah shouted to the Angels that if they were to attack him or interfere on the absorption of holy power he was going to perform that he would explode leaving Valerye dead or heavily injured. She then telepathically told all the goodbyes and all. Then Valerye heard the Lord's voice to tell her teammates to attack Inrah. Sebastian telepathically asked her if she wanted him to use Celestial Arrow so then they all detected that Inrah couldn't telepathically communicate with them anymore due to his lack of power. So they communicated this among each other and they took advantage of this opportunity to communicate with each other about Jesus message to them saying it was OK for them to attack Inrah due to the fact he had allowed the Holy Spirit to descend to Infernus temporarily to shield Valerye. Taking advantage of Inrah's inability to decipher their angelic messages thru telepathy they readied their positions. In fear, Inrah shouted to him and warned him that he would explode. Sebastian just looked at him and smirked and said... "Don't you see Demon is over..." at that very moment he drew his heavenly bow and slowly drew a celestial arrow. So then Inrah responded nervously... "I may be at my last stand but Master will understand..." right when he finished those words he exploded annihilating him instantly but Valerye was left unharmed due to the Holy Spirit Godly Shield an ability able to withstand any blast with a power level below 1000. So there all four Arch Angels stood on the ground of Infernus and made a surprising discovery. Their power level had grown. Furthermore, a new ability was unlocked by each member of the group. Sebastian learned Shadow Arrow. Leona Infernal Shield. Krylinn learned Earthly Armor. Last but not least Valerye Shadow Clone the ability to use two doppelgangers. The victory came at last and they all four after being left roaming Infernus for 7 long days they arose to heaven victorious and feeling joyful to see the Lord's gentle face and to feel God's embrace and power ever so mightily.

Back in the Courtroom...
The earnest tone of voice and a most elegant poise was worn by Lucifer as he gave his speech. Spoken in Umen a diabolical dialect mixed in the crowd was Vhar disguised as a messenger Angel. He contacted Nebol the 6th DemonLord of Infernus who has 650,000 Necromancers and 1.5 million undead soldiers at his disposal. Nebol made a rift allowing the Undead and Necromancers inside Infernus to relocate to random places around the perimeter of the Throne Room. Vhar and Nebol stormed into the Throne Room just to find themselves surrounded God had given orders to dispose of the imminent threat if any that opposed him or his kingdom. However the demons knowing God's presence would be overwhelming Nebol opened a portal right in front of him which transferred him to Infernus however him and Vhar sustained damage which lowered Nebol vitality due to Occult technique Shade of Darkness which allowed them to be shielded from God's Celestial Light and Adonai Vortex the first ability allows Yahweh the to impair demons use of abilities and conjuring power. The second ability is a is a white dim and slowly becomes a transparent hole that disintegrates demons any rank if touched by it. So with 1/4 of Nebols troops disintegrated when he almost lost his life and almost lost one of his best Generals Vhar he was outraged at the fact he had lost a significant amount of his demonic fleet. Now with 450,000 Necromancers and only having a million undead soldiers left. Nebol killed and consumed the heart of 5 Lv500 General Undead Soldiers and 1 out of only 6 in all the Necromancer Platoon an Lv-800 High Diabolic Priest Necromancer regaining all his power and armor back and with a stronger more powerful stance now regaining his posture as a Demon Lord. *There are 9 DemonLords in Infernus. Each and every single Demon Lord has Immortality and a power level of 1000. However some Demon Lord's are weaker and some stronger even though their power level cannot be higher. It ultimately matters of determination and skill. Aikalar First of the Demon Lord's rules the first circle of Infernus. He is a Huge White Wolf with Black flames with a small blue hue in his eyes and tail dominating the entrance of Infernus the smallest circle of Infernus. The Second Demon Lord portrayed as a Crow in a rotten tree high in the heights of Infernus. The second biggest circle in Infernus. Croxuss the third Demon Lord of Hell portraying himself as a huge turtle looking monster with Bloodshot eyes and ugly putrefying stench emitting from his body. The 4th Demon Lord known as Flayiron a once beautiful Arch-Angel LvIII Bow-Master now that he has joined the Infernus Fleet after his rebellion in Acapella He has a light blueish/purplish armor with a gigantic bow that can be transformed to a sword or a shield with a telekinetic command given by Flayiron. The fifth Demon Lord of hell is known as Asmodeus a half-giant half grey skinned demon who killed an Arch-Angel known Killas. Nebol the 6th Demon Lord of hell who was inbound to attack the great palace of heaven retreated momentarily to collect his thoughts. Lilith the 7th Demon Lord is the Angel of Lust a pure goddess of seduction with tremendous power. Nova the eight demon lord the most powerful goddess of all demon lords extremely beautiful and extremely sensual she does as she pleases with any of the Arch-Angels God has sent her way so far...she doesn't know she is about to meet her doom ...
Squad # 6. Arch-Angel Valerye with Arch-Angel Leona Arch-Angel Kryllin and Last but not least Arch-Angel Sebastian. They came to the 8th Circle Of *Infernus
where Demon Lord Nebol from the 6th Circle Of Infernus.
Work in progress...
Bad Luck Feb 2019
My reality bends, but doesn't break . . .
            Oh! how I love to watch her shake.
I love to watch her struggle,
              as she fights not to crumble
                      Into the void that she creates.

All the while, she's subtracting,
                   Extending, then retracting . . .
She functions as a prism,
         But it's not light that she's refracting.

She exhales in waves of reverb and vibrating oscillation,
        She creates all that imitates
        In the shadow of divinity,
                                                As she balances the equation.

Giving birth to the chaos, she finds replication in order . . .
As the random escapes, and attempts to distort her.
She's graceful and strong, yet falls apart when out of step.
Never stopping or regaining a second,
Nor a chance to catch her breath.
So in awe we observe her,
The birth-giver to grace, in a dance of life and death.
I cry for you Argentina
hectic planet’s southern corner
land of passion, crazy arena
aforetime our bonds were stronger.

No longer yours, you never mine
our lives belonged together once
I used to taste your scarlet wine,
your gorgeous girls, your charming dance.

The friends from ages, forgotten stories
so much privation, my heart is sore
my aging parents, the elder brothers
your call is clear I shall wait no more.

Exultant hugs, reunion is great
my parent’s sanctuary regaining life
but there is an end, a settled date
cruel farewell that sticks its knife.

I’ve seen those humid agates before
I've heard how silence can drown the wail
hair-raising feeling on every pore
they'll stand upright, I will be frail.

Oh, childhood playground! my old-time shelter
long time impeded of children laughing
no words no tears, this way is better
my love, my kids, my home are waiting.
Leaving your childhood place leaves a mix of sweet and sour feelings. Visiting back your birth country is an emotional experience.
Anxiety washes over me,
As I tried to open my heart.
Blurting out vague messages,
Laying my feelings bare,
Insanity flows through me.
Vicious thoughts consume me.
Gambling my heart out,
I try to fall in love once more.
And you reminded me,
Amidst my rose colored eyes,
I was really destined to be alone.
Reality woke my tired soul.
Loneliness is indeed my own.

Alone in this barren field,
Anchored deep in the sea,
Beached on a deserted island,
Left out in the winter cold,
Incapacitated and left longing,
Voracious vultures are waiting,
Gangrene eating me alive,
Intoxicated by hope and love,
Abhorring every second passing,
Alienating this deep void,
Insufferably waiting for you,
Running in circles in my mind,
Leaving reality behind once more.

Answer me!
Admonish me!
Betray me!
Leave me!
Invalidate me!
Vilify me!
Gouge my heart out!
Ignite my soul!
Agony sets in…
Amorphous images…
Illuminate me!
Read my heart.
Love me, please.

Impending doom looms,
My heart won’t beat.
Silence takes over me.
Our time comes to a close.
Riveting emotions settle.
Regaining my composure,
You smiled at me.
Let the poem speak for itself. Originally written on 10/14/19.
Sillo Anderson Nov 2018
Umpires wailed at victory
Clothing defeat in exorbitant fame,
Socializing with pain
Only regaining power to fix all that has been shamed.
For only coinage consumed all faith
Of where victors must stay.
How naive of hate
Playing buoyantly for a side in shame.
But pruning an eternity to be of salient visage.
For !
Mankind perceives its flaws as gate ways of life
And innocence retaliates only for its pride.
Stygian Oct 2018
Beautiful disaster, only after I make you feel like you matter, does the smile look real and not look forced or plastered
Beautiful angel, filled with scars of past anger, the cautions signs are up but I attract danger, while you pray to the Lord and people call you my savior
Beautiful creation, you are literally flawless in your face and you tell me I’m great and maybe its true but I always feel like the last resort in your crew, and you wouldn’t know cause God forbid I spew how I feel about me and you
You say I hurt you, I know I was a total **** show, but instead of staying to help me grow, you walked
And I hate you for it.
You walk when I’m weak, you talk when I speak, you walk when I am sad, and you talk when I’m mad, and you just walk away all the time from everything we had
What did we have?
You say your desired that you can take care of yourself, well go ahead then if you don’t need my help, and if you can get from anyone else, then why keep coming back to just put me on the shelf, I DON’T GET IT
I spread my arms wide for you to lay a tired head, but then you call me “old friend” as we sleep in the same bed, and you make me feel special but then call me a mess, I don’t know if you like me or wish I was dead
You get text from other girls but I can’t get mad, I’m not allowed to claim you like I wish I could have, apparently that ship has sailed I missed that, I feel like I just got out of rehab and I’m regaining a trust I really never had
Emotional stability? Unwanted credibility? Forced fertility and silent treatments times infinity
What a great relationship were building
I walk on egg shells just to feel your approval, is this what love is, ha can I get a renewal, because my past was abusive but this just cruel
I’d rather be alone than feel like nothing by your side, I’m not someone you can just decide when you want to reveal me or to hide me in a dark place of your mind I am not just an option I am a ******* human being alright?
I’m not just a piece of jewelry you can wear when you want, I’m not just some pretty girl you can flaunt, and I’m definitely not just your *** toy you can use once a month
Because we have differences, youre indifferent but you tell me how you wanna bend me over the sink and ****, and I don’t understand it, maybe I am just an object and if you truly believe in it, it must be significant
You submit to a man that’s what that book says right, you tell me how I shouldn’t be so uptight, but I also shouldn’t do anything without you at night, and if I’m not around then Im not trying I’m not fighting to be in your life, but I say I miss you tonight, I wanna kiss you tonight, I wanna touch every inch of you while you’re dimming the lights and ignoring your sight, you preach honesty and perfection, I am not perfect and im used to objection, youre the only one that makes me feel depression, just ******* see me try and I guarantee you’ll feel some effection, im not forcing a decision but I don’t wanna waste my time on a long term rejection
You seek a perfect relationship well good luck with that, you were married once and look where that’s at, you say you’ve heard it all before, I get that, but face you don’t know what you want so accept that,
Tables have turned and now I see that maybe you should find yourself before you come looking for me, and like you told me that’s how its gonna be I’m gonna walk away now like you walked from me
I’m not looking back, I’m better than that, you wanna love somebody, but don’t wanna love their past
And someone will love you but that someone’s not me, leave me alone now and let me be
I’d rather be alone than fall to my knees and beg you to see that this is real and this is me but you can’t see it so I’d rather be free
Control my own happiness and love myself more than you could ever love me
Sat watching Helen on a beautiful day shortly before she passed away
wearing a black bra beautiful black leggings and matching black
I remember so well Helen saying In teasing way what are starting at and I told I love what see for she looked stunning to me for the caring role for years I had for Helen because of her poor health I become too blind to see her real
But the first time In such a
long time I was seeing real
beauty as she sat before me and we were regaining the passion our love that through my caring we had lost over the years to much caring and not enough love
was the
But that short time we had before Helen was taken to Hospital never to return but that time so special we loved again just like
our first
So anybody who finds themselves in the situation that I found myself In don't let the caring role takes over remember the needs to
love one
savory bard Oct 2019
In days of youth's yore;

to conquer while
striking a
winning pose
may have been  the
breath of life for many
a young man.

"I love you",
assertively whispered from
her moist and
fevered lips was,
a call of the wild
and a vindication
of one's manhood.

Her legs wrapped tightly around you,
like a spider that is spinning its silken
masterpiece around its paralyzed prey.

Regaining our breath together
as our sweaty bodies glisten in the light of
an August's 2am moon.

A beauty that I  never wanted to conquer but one, that I just wanted to savor and to...

never forget.

Was it love?
Is it love?
Is this love?

Forgive me for a moment but, about this?
I am just...

*white flagging it
zee Aug 2019
i'm not yet ready

to face those challenges ahead me

to say what bothers inside my head

to ask why such things happened

and how and when did it started

i'm not yet ready

to face all my fears

wipe my tears when danger suddenly appears

learn to stand for myself when

there's no one to rescue me

I'm not yet ready

to open my heart again to somebody

regaining my trust while remembering

the memory-you and me;

we're never meant to be

but i'm ready

to start and learn to accept the reality

love myself and all of the people

that surrounds me

— The End —