"cking" poems
.
.
Mind my French but…
'Tu me manques'
.
.
.
(I miss you)
May 12, 2019
May 12, 2019 at 1:13 PM UTC
you were the de(f)inition of
toxic.
yo(u) took control
and never let go,
with a (c)onstant
deathly grip on my soul.
could you have been
any more aggressive?
only god (k)nows.
but i know one thing.
i left (y)ou,
as soon as i c(o)uld,
and
i'm
******* glad i did.
Mar 22, 2014
Mar 22, 2014 at 6:58 PM UTC
#
A lively debate
that inside I create
A seemingly
simple state
But this state
of affairs
Is like a ****** affair*
The details
I wish not to share
Please,
don’t stare
For inside
I’m scared
Am I prepared?
Do I have
the ***** to do
what I really care?
Or am I going
to stay on this ship
of self-despair
Where
I can scream
my lungs ******
into the air
But does anyone care?
Do I even f@cking care??
Maybe a life spared
but ***spare me the
retched bullsh@t***
of self-pity
I’m self-giving
It wreaks up the air
It’s noxious scent
is not one I care
to ever encounter
or fair
Let’s “clear the air”
and take on
what I want
from now on
No longer a pawn
who is living the tired
joke
of some *pathetic
love song*
No, THIS
is my “Swan Song”
Where I belong
This sh@t is ON!
Climbing the mountain strong
Bellowing a chant
a song
That’s been so deep within
for so long
It can only come out
Right
Because “wrong”
does not belong
**This virus
is airborne**
No longer forlorn
All the darkness
is gone
You have been
forewarned
Are you ready?
Because it’s coming
Sounding the horn
Sacrificed
the firstborn
The “storm”
Once icy and cold
Now simmering warm
Going to bubble into
volcanic ash scorned
This Oath
hath been sworn
Tattered and torn
**** cloth
all that is worn
But forward my path
What’s behind me
**My ***
The past
*Worn out,
decayed,
and shriveling trash*
All that
is gone
as I head
towards the dawn
Through the darkness
I’ve trekked
The Sun rises ahead
And with it
My song
My Swan Song
I am reborn
withered and worn
But still strong
I belong
***I am one
with the Universe***
The path before me
is brightly lit
with happiness and joy
No more patheticness
All the grit
and the spit
Broken teeth
All that sh@t
It all meant something
It was THIS
*Every bruise
Every break
All the “wrongs”
and “mistakes”*
Are what it takes
You can call it fate
or simply short of fatal
but since
neonatal
through this day till
Every day
I thankfully say
“Thank you”
for showing me the way
Because now I have
A love that stays
A true love
One that can’t
get away
Because I value Me
One ‘hopes’ or ‘prays’
But like a house
Each brick is laid
Onto the next
Foundation made
A sturdy house
Can’t blow away
Hard work put in
Made it this way
The same for me
The price I paid
But end result
A saving grace
#
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 5:08 AM UTC
rite like Dylan/past the point of no return
all my life wanted to rite just once like Dylan.
but too set in the errors of my way to complement/compliment a master of the phrase, the original tunes I hum’em all
plagued and plagiarized and yet pleasing
head the Head over to the refrigerator, arrive in one piece,
but totally not remembering why I came this way,
cause i am way way past the point of no return
Oh yeah oh yeah cool brother Corona light to succor the soul,
while roasting body slow in a lavender bubble bath and it ain’t
even noon and no no room for company, this solo wonder-boy
tripping alone
pay my bills in the bath, winnow the widow-maker reading list,
good ****** on a free sundaey and there ain’t no football to watch and autocorrect authority don’t like ****** it only godded one D, as if He needs two D’s to mess us up better
the Corona doing magic trick disappearing so fast and here i am
certified past the point of return and there ain’t no more beer
in the general vicinity
so now the time to summarize my little darlings;
don’t break beer bottles in the bathroom,
don’t pay your bills in the bathtub when u gots 53.42 in cking,
don’t take your iPhone unsheathed into the same vicinity
all you will be left with is maxed out cc’s,
messes you want
not to tangle with,
brain leavings of a bad poem half write,
it isn’t even bad dylan mimicry
but confirmation you passed the point of no return
and u happy hum
don’t think twice it’s alright
it is all on my cover photo
Jan 28, 2018
Jan 28, 2018 at 12:11 PM UTC
A whole new spiral,
Trees upon a coil,
Ink from leagues,
Written feathers,
Drizzled down as oil,
Evermore,
Nevermore,
Less is more,
All.
Reverse inside-out,
Springs before fall,
Trojan powered horses,
Mother Nature's fickle,
In life we really are all,
Trapped within a pickle...
Steal the base,
Capture the flag,
Always run the risk,
Chess played on a checker board,
Hands turned into fists...
The endless stairs,
Rise & fall,
Chutes & ladders,
Poles,
Elevated,
Reciprocated,
Orbital magnetic pull...
This way,
That way,
Three rights make a left,
Two of either,
Horizontal shift,
Four times,
Stuck in circles...
Full Moon,
Half Moon,
Crescent Moon,
**** cheeks...
Face cheeks,
Two lips,
Uranus,
**** facts...
The Owl asks "Who?"
Not how many licks,
Cracked.
Tongue twister,
Riddle fister,
******* fcking dcks...
Creation.
Destruction.
Under construction,
Living life,
Chasing death,
Don't forget to function...
Playing hooky,
Hooked on phonics,
Telephone,
Hello?
Lose the "O",
Cheerios,
Rolled away,
Hell.
Pacific Bell,
Pack Bell,
Liberty Bell,
Cracked.
Xs,
Os,
Hugs,
Kisses,
Followed crumbs,
Smacked...
Cacophony of words,
Magnified to deaf,
Pantomime,
Mr. Mime,
Jynx,
Hypnotic crest...
Abra,
Kadabra,
Apply directly to the forehead...
Water your brain,
Fertilize,
Extra fries,
Exercise...
A to Z,
1, 2, 3...
F*cking A,
We say...
Today is here,
The end is near,
All come here to stay...
Escape rope untethered,
Weather altered sky day.
Gaze at stars,
Hollywood floor,
Rich,
Poor,
More...
Life is great,
Life is crap,
You decide,
Not me...
Cause all I see,
Is cacophony...
No sense inside of "we"...
Here we are,
We've come so far,
RELAX...
Have fun at last...
Half full,
Half empty,
Shattered...
At least we have the glass......
Sep 1, 2018
Sep 1, 2018 at 5:28 PM UTC
You know why I'm obsessed with makeup?
You know why I literally BREAK. DOWN. when I see myself in the mirror on one of those REALLY ugly days that I have?
You know why I seem f!cking vain and beauty obsessed and attention seeking because of how self-deprecating I am?
You know why I am currently crying...alone...on my bedroom floor...kind of pathetically?
Because now I'm a little bit scared
That maybe I DO have a disease of the mind
Maybe I DO have something in my head that isn't right
It just seems so impossible
Because I mean
I look in the mirror
And all I see is this hideous shameful beastly girl
So ugly
In fact, I genuinely feel terrible for the people who have to look at me
and I don't know why
I just don't see how anybody could ever possibly think that I am pretty
And for some reasons I'm crying right now
And I feel really alone
But no no no
There is no way I really have dysmorphia
Is there?
I feel embarrassed
Like I come across shallow
And stupid
And makeup obsessed
Because I can't ever see myself as pretty
NOT EVEN ONCE
not even decent
Not even reasonable
I just. see. UGLY.
and ashamed of my face,
And ashamed of my obsession
With cosmetics
Because it is like the only medicine they made
To fix this affliction
Makeup can make up for how ugly I am
maybe it can fix me
maybe I won't hate myself anymore
but it never does
and I hate crying alone!
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 11:16 PM UTC
I actually know how this was going to end,
the great war ended badly for the both of us,
and it's just me in despair again,
so i drove my wheels faster than light
the road became a curve and i was in parallels
t'was a mess, i'm in my next getaway car
i was in my highest in those moments
you threw me, i was at my lowest of lows
maybe it was pathetic of me to think you were different
i know i left you in the blue,
never thought the right thing would be so wrong
you were sunshine, and i was definitely midnight rain
I hate your wit and how childish you are,
where my days were filled by your nonsensical jokes,
where i would swore by your calls,
i hate how i could not live without it
i hate how f*cking tall you are
'cause someday i'll be finding myself in the same crowd as you
and you're the first thing that i will sight
i hate how i remember every detail of your voice, style, and face
i guess the rumors were all true
tall, dark, and beautiful
he flies away and saves someone else
Aug 1, 2023
Aug 1, 2023 at 8:21 AM UTC
Remember how I used to love you?
Did everything you wanted me to,
Killed myself inside for the likes of you?
Well.. I'm f-cking through
Through thinking about you
Dreaming about you
Crying tears with your face in the reflection
Finding your stuff when I turn any direction
Hoping it was all a dream
Not as bad as it seemed
But the truth is...
You taught me more than I ever cared to know about you and now that I'm actually through, I've realised you made me stronger and more sure than ever before.
Thank You for all the things you didn't do
I'm sure you'll Never Forget
The Girl Who Loved You
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014 at 7:45 PM UTC
I'm in a dark place right now.
Because everyone insists I live in your shadow.
I need to be more to the likeness of you,
apparently.
I don't like that idea.
But, who's there to listen?
I'm in a dark place right now.
Because everyone thinks I'm doing something wrong.
I need to be more to the likeness of everyone else to fit in,
apparently.
I scream because no one has the guts to stand up for them self.
But, who's there to listen?
I'm in a dark place right now.
Because there's too many people telling lies behind my back.
I need to stop doing drugs,
apparently.
I didn't know I was doing them; I'm trying to stand up for myself here.
But, who's there to listen?
I'm in a dark place right now.
Because everyone's taking up all the f*cking light.
I need the sun to survive,
apparently.
I'm trying to tell you that I don't know how long I can live without it.
But, who's there to listen?
Aug 27, 2011
Aug 27, 2011 at 6:14 PM UTC
Warning: Bleeped out profanity. Read at your own risk
I would call you "dad"
But I would be ashamed to do so
You cannot stand up for anyone
Fooled into submission by her
That f·cking Satanic b·tch
Who is more irresponsible than I
I am ashamed you ever bed with her
I watch your offspring, wishing to be dead
Now I love your children
They even call me "Mama"
Isn't that alarming?
When they confuse their birthgiver with their sister?
But what would I know
I'm just a young girl
I don't know anything, says you
You overprotect me anyhow
As soon as I can leave, I'll be gone without a trace
Living with my mother, the woman that you hate
That you talk sh·t about, while I am within hearing range
Then act like nothing happened, do you think I am a bafoon?
At least I have the ****** courage
To tell someone to f·ck off
I'm glad I'm nothing like you
So, just f·ck off
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 4:10 AM UTC
*Staring at a pale white canvas, his fingers twitch
Doesn’t see the point or understand it
Fifty shades of the very same color. Artistic?
He squints at the thought, thinks the joke is twisted
A woman walks his direction; this man is wearing a question mark
Seeing her coming, he’s sweating, not knowing where to start
Not being awkward, standing right beside him
He’s had it with the confusion staring at the item
“Do you see the white rabbit?”, she asks him.
The man looks again, takes a much more thorough pass at the image
Focus diminished, he’s staring blindly at it. Like a fool he tells her,
“Point him out to me, would you kindly?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” Now she makes him ponder.
But somehow, his frustration has since been turned to wonder
“The rabbit’s not in the art, but within you, so close your eyes
and let your heart tell you a story that you can listen to”
He closes his eyes, then inhales slowly,
While she mutters, “While you’re at it, don’t be afraid to show me.”
He exhales.
A cool snowflake kiss is very innocent
Murderous mind makes you question just who the menace is
7th place in a race, you want to win it
But the mission is holding on to your wits and hope you finish it
Hate to admit we live in a place of affliction
With war, famine and depravity - an endless tragedy
People praising rulers like prophets, men of profit
Looking down at each and every soul like drones for their shady goals
Toy soldiers in toy boxes, a boy in a boycott,
Strapped to a baby stroller, momma broke her shoulder
Screaming for peace and prosperity for her people,
Attacked for her beliefs as a human - thought we were equals
So hop, little bunny! Come and get your carrot
No, thanks! He doesn’t need it or your filthy merits
‘Cause he’s stronger than what you take him for, don’t need to chase him
Leaves your bait right at your f*cking door, and strikes you at your core
The harsh winds of winter are now behind him
Eyes open and happy she keeps him warm
A habit keeping his soul torn, she holds him
As he hops back to life just like a rabbit in a snowstorm.*
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 11:29 PM UTC
“If you knew that
It was my last day
What would you say to me?”
I inquired.
“Do me a favor.
Give your last day to me
And take my life,”
She replied with a good f*cking smile on her face
That numbed my soul.
****
She still loves me
Way better than I had ever asked for!!!
Apr 18, 2019
Apr 18, 2019 at 9:57 PM UTC
You're not running through the airport
You're not dashing through the rain
Two weeks from now, I am sure
My life will be the same
You're not pledging to go with me
I didn't have you at hello
You're not waiting on my doorstep
Or finding me somewhere we know
You're not turning your car around
Or calling my name out in a crowd
You can't even realise you need me
Or say it to me out loud
You're not banging on the glass
Or writing me a song
It's f*cking hard to admit it
But I guess I had you wrong.
Nov 23, 2009
Nov 23, 2009 at 7:12 AM UTC
Took me a while to join
Had to learn all the security settings
I've heard about the weird on the net
I need to protect myself from all that ****
I won't friend you if I don't know you
If your not a family member
I'll ignore all random messages
And ads that give the universe
And all my friends I tell them
My mum is on my list
So take care with where you tag me
Or you could **** me off
Your loss I'll unfriend you
Just send me cool warm fuzzys
Thats what I call a buddy
Lolcat positivity
Affirmation awesome trippy
I f*cking love science
Mega Success stories
Against overwhelming odds
Photos of your son
Pet day at school with his lamb
Your new makeup
Your family outting
Theres no better way to keep in contact ...
Jun 30, 2014
Jun 30, 2014 at 2:21 PM UTC
keep telling me how to
Act
Speak
Write
see how long until
the house you built
burns
to the f*cking ground
Aug 15, 2018
Aug 15, 2018 at 12:38 AM UTC
Hemophilia runs in the family
A bleeding disorder
I was fortunate
My sister got the gene, not me
She is a carrier
and has mild Hemophilia
If she had been born a boy, it would have been far more severe
But even with her mild disorder
She spontaneously begins bleeding
Without anything even happening to her
I spontaneously begin bleeding too
Even though nothing is happening to me
But you can't see that bleeding
It's internal
Not inside my body
But inside my soul.
Or something.
I'm not really sure where it hurts, all I know is that it hurt a lot
People say, *just be happy!
Don't you want to be happy?
Can't you just ignore it?*
NO.
That's like asking my sister
When she spontaneously gets ****** noses
*Just stop bleeding!
Don't you want to stop bleeding?
Can't you just ignore the fact that blood is pouring out of you?*
NO
just because the pain is not visible
DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T THERE.
IT IS NOT ESCAPABLE THE SAME WAY BLEEDING ISN'T
That is why I'm trying to find a distraction from the pain
Because when my sister gets a ****** nose, she just goes and distracts herself with a movie, so she doesn't pay attention to the bleeding
My point is, though
No.
I can't just "be happy"
I'm bleeding too
And it is spontaneous and inexplicable
YOU JUST CAN'T F*CKING SEE IT
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 1:32 PM UTC
Hey, Superstar!
Yeah, you - Indie Kid! Sure you are. You strut around as though all
it takes
is
a few too many Wombats Badges,
Converse, Ripped Jeans (Add one addiction to New York, and, of course, the necessary)
Stupid f#cking Nose Rings and a Drop-Dead-FAG exterior. Name three songs the Ramones wrote and I might not rip that shirt right off your back.
You pretend to love festivals but really, you’re just Keeping Up Appearances; we all know that - like you’re some bad reality show. (Even MTV wouldn’t touch you. There. I said it.)
And then
There is her: a carbon copy eyeliner addict in her
Stupid stupid stupid! boyfriend’s
F#CKING C-H-E-C-K-E-R-E-D SHIRT
(And the tunnel she stole from the girl that started this.)
Don’t even chat to me about red-head and dip-dye.
And when did AC/DC become your social suicide?
You harp on about individual, rap on about original, well excuse-me-SIR-ever-so-sorry-MISS-but-dress-yourself-in-sheepskin-because MY GOD IT SUITS YOU BETTER THAN ANY PAIR OF VANS.
Haha. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Baa baa, Indie Sheep, have you lost your mind?
‘Cause your personality at least seems to have gone for a wander.
And come back, in a FASHION -
Tarred in fake love for Nirvana and feathered with the only fatefellshortthistimeblink-182yoursmilefadesinthesummer song you know.
Feathers? Really? I just told you that you ought to be woolly!
Nov 25, 2011
Nov 25, 2011 at 11:23 AM UTC
The problem is
If I still starved and cut
People would care
Because I would be destroying my outer-self
They don't care that you are anorexic and depressed
As long as you don't bring physical harm to your body
The pain inside never matters because they can't see it
Well I hate my face
I hate everything about my body
My ugly arms and legs
Scarred, dry, cracked, ******
Ugly ugly ugly
Face too square
Unfeminine jawline
Eyebrows too thick
Nose too wide
Hair too bland
Eyes the color of dried blood
And ugly ugly brown
There is nothing I can do though that hurts me
When I try to fix it
The worst thing I could do
Would be to put on too much make up
They can't see how much I hate my f*cking ugly self
But I can't hurt myself
So it doesn't matter
Who cares
Ugly can't be diagnosed
So clearly I am not ill in the mind
I am just ugly
Only no one pays attention
To that
Because they can't see that pain
The way they could when I could count all my ribs
And I slashed my wrists
They can't see it
And I can't either
But I can FEEL IT
Even if it doesn't hurt on the outside
It hurts on the inside
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014 at 11:58 AM UTC
I’m so tired of that just friends ****
How far can we take this? When do we stop labeling our love as a friendship and call it what it is?
I’m so tired of these one night stands, rushing to put my clothes on after *** leaving no trace of myself but the sent of our lust filled passion on your sheets.
I’m so tired of hiding in the shadows, being your late-night ***** call, saying “I’m just not ready for a relationship.” Yet your ready to spread my legs, and i let you because of the trance you put me in when i look in your eyes.
I’m so tired of being that girl.
Jan 22, 2016
Jan 22, 2016 at 5:34 PM UTC
I'm sorry I'm f**cking crazy
know I got issues
But I wouldn't be okay if I wasn't with you
Thank God everyday even when I feel like crying
Baby when you're next to me I feel like I'm f**king flying
It's a little scary, I'll be the first to admit
It f**king scares me
I hate to commit
Please don't leave me, please promise me that
Feeling like you're whack,
sometimes wondering why you don't hit me back
You say you love me, need me
Can't live without me
I can lie too baby guess you don't really know me
Wish it could've worked but I don't regret that it didn't
Sometimes you're meant to know pain before you feel bliss
Jan 18, 2021
Jan 18, 2021 at 2:55 PM UTC
The problem is I do like him.
I certainly hate him
But I also like him.
I like the way he capitalizes the beginnings of his sentences over text, I like the cute little crinkles that appear in his forehead when he smiles
The coy way he responds to flirtation with something like "Oh really now?"
I like how he calls things "sweet", the way he says "aww" I even f!cking like his annoying as hell overuse of the phrase "haha" when he texts which ****** me off,
I like how he is the only teenaged boy I know who says something is "quite" fun and how he uses the word "lovely" to describe things because no one uses that word anymore and more people should.
I like how he has an immense love for Spiderman,
How he has all these aspirations of travelling all over in the future
I like how he wants to live in England one day, I like that he is into cooking and drinks coffee and hot chocolate and how his favorite book is "Looking for Alaska" and how he's read everyone of John Green's books and how he wants to be a writer one day.
I just remember the dumbest little things that I still like about him
For instance how he likes Neil Gaiman and loud screamy music even though I hate that stuff, how he is the only one in his fractured family who doesn't speak French but his older sister and mother do. He has a dog named Charlie and when he was a kid he always spelled "subtle" wrong. I just don't know *** is wrong with me I should have known better. I should hate him for half this stuff and all the rest of the reasons I have to loathe him but it's hard to forget those little details about him. I just hate feeling like a broken lock. A lock of dark secrets and completely irrepairable. Though it's not the fact that Im irrepairable that bothers me as much as feeling so... replaceable. Idk. Maybe I need to go out with someone to get him out of my head.
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 6:30 PM UTC
***** you know I'm not straight
but your friends didn't know so you still let them hate.
Obviously they're allowed their views I give it to them
but is not alright for my actions to be condemned.
They know it isn't contagious but talk as if I'm sick.
Well I'm not so tell them, they're being a ******* *****
Friends are not friends when they treat their friends, friends like ****
So please tell them to stop and think, maybe some girls just don't like *****
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 10, 2016 at 2:39 PM UTC
Pfft I don't need a f!cking man to make me feel loved and happy
Why else would we have chocolate?
I mean really
Chocolate doesn't mind if I am a *****
If I *** really badly
If I eat it (guys would never let you do that! And I bet they wouldn't
taste as good ...okay that's creepy. let's not think about that.)
If I wear what I call my: comfy-lazy-day-clothes and the rest of
humanity calls: hella-ugly-as-shit-clothes
If I don't' wear makeup
If I bag on myself
If I sing. For 9 hours... straight...
If I ugly cry
If I literally act SO unbelievably insane it is actually scary and not pleasant or normal or safe and probably merits a psychological analysis
If I am too busy to hang out with it
Chocolate has never told me it loves someone else
Chocolate doesn't mind at all if I **** so badly at most sports that
dolphins are better throwers than me... and runners...
Chocolate doesn't ever care if I read so much that I forget to like, eat or
sleep or breathe or brush my hair or get dressed or get out of bed or put on pants or do anything else.
Chocolate can deal with my insane mood swings
Chocolate doesn't hit on other girls
Chocolate doesn't care that I'm not ready to like, you know "get serious" with it (that would actually be really disturbing let's not think about that either)
Chocolate accepts me for who I am and never judges me
(Although that is mainly because it is edible and inanimate...)
Chocolate respects my boundaries
I love chocolate
See? I don't need a man to be happy.
Who am I kidding I'm lonely as hell. :(
Why am I so pathetically dependant on love?
AUGH. I guess I'll just go and eat some chocolate.
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 10:53 PM UTC
Gethsemane
Butterflies, fawns, the quiet trickle of a nearby stream.
Apostles argue.
Again
Some want pizza
Others teriyaki
A few want pastrami from Moshe's Deli in Nazareth
"Brothers. Time is short," said Jesus quietly,
"Let us not argue. I have brought a potato. Let us share."
The Apostles look at each other in dismay.
A potato?
What is this another f*cking parable?
They were hungry and impatient.
"Look JC," said Simon
"You're the Messiah and all, but we were hoping for something a little
more substantial."
"I bid you peace, Brother," said Jesus, covering the potato with a plain cloth.
He began the customary blessing for this type of food.
The Apostles bowed their heads respectfully.
One by one they closed their eyes in prayer
Sanctifying the simple meal that was before them.
Minutes passed
Stomachs growled
Apostles began to fidget.
Without warning Jesus shouted,
"Chabada Kedavra,"
and lifted the cloth, revealing a whole roasted chicken beneath.
The Apostles clapped their hands in delight at Jesus' latest miracle.
"Faith feeds us in many ways," said Jesus.
"Amen," said the Apostles in unison....
Completely missing
The KFC bag
That Jesus was sliding
under the table
with his sandaled foot.
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 1:19 PM UTC