I don't know what I did
The past is so blurry
I can't remember
What I did to deserve this
My mind won't leave me alone
But you will
My hands move on their own
Texting you again
I know you'll never love me too
I understand you're using me
But red flags through rose-tinted glasses
Just look like flags
Armed with my heart on my sleeve
And rose-tinted glasses
Ready for you to use me
Because pain is the only thing that's real
Scrolling through the past
It reminds us of who we once were
And who we've become
We had almost forgotten we had
And we'd shared them with the world
And we didn't do half bad
I thought I'd never escape her
Her iron grip leaving bruises where she held us
But we did
We made it
Life got a little better for it too
We aren't fixed
We are still sad
We still have depression
But it's not as bad as it was
She's gone from our lives
And she dares to call herself a fighter
I was scrolling through my old poems, and I was reading one comment on my poem "Cuts" from when I was stuck with the woman who abused me every chance she got. If you're reading this, it got better. I'm not healed yet, but it has gotten better. To those of you who've stayed with me this long: Thank you
In a time I can't remember
There was nothing but dark
Then you arrived
A sun to light up my world
Water to keep me alive
You were sweet like honey
With the right amount of sour
To keep things interesting
I made a mistake
I told you who I am
You may be supportive, sure
But you'd never change
For someone, you claimed to love
I was tossed aside
While you ventured out
For you next conquest
How could you
Someone as broken as me
Break me even more?
Don't come out of the closet to everyone :)
Don't make a sound
Waking the monster is a bad idea
That come's with a painful end
Two soulless eyes stare up at you
A shell of a being
It's a body filled with hatred
For its mistakes and your happiness
It takes it from you when you least expect it
During a movie, or playing a game
You'll be fine one moment
Just living life
But then you speak too loud
Move too fast
And wake the monster within
My emotions are like water
Pouring out of a faucet
They sometimes are
And sometimes, they stop altogether
I'm surprisingly still alive! This is a quick one I thought up. I've been songwriting a lot recently.
Have you thought to check up on me?
Have you thought about me?
Have you left your own head?
Or are you leaving me for dead?
Life’s crazy, huh?
Full of false accusations
Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you’ll act on it
Sometimes it’s better to shove emotions into the darkest place in your mind
I hope for the best but expect the worst
Am I a realist?
Or just seeking attention?
All things considered, I shouldn’t be here
My mother should have aborted me and lived her life
But now she has me
Gods, I’ve caused her so much pain
One of these days, I’ll have to courage
To cut slightly too deep
To jump off the ledge
To pull the trigger
But for now, I take my anger and emptiness out on my flesh
Gray creating red
Moonlight shining through my window
As I hide what I’ve done
It’s not like I’m ashamed
I just don’t want to disappoint them
Everyone thinks so highly of me
It’d be best if I just disappeared
Like I never existed
The red stains my clothes as it soaks through
Creating wet spots on a black surface
Wearing dark colors hides the blood
Hides my true emotions
My true intentions.
My first poem of 2020 is this mess...Sorry...I'll just go...
Care about us?
Opens up doorways and
Opportunities. it allows for
Learning and growth.
Instead, they feign these things
Shooing away the cries of pain.
Help us" they scream, their words
Echoing off of walls.
Losing their meaning as they multiply and
Likewise, get ignored.
hahaha...the US school system is ******