No one ever gave me an inch
so to take my mile
I had to carve it out
myself out of blood and dust
No one would have said I was nice about it
I never felt I could be
lest I found myself picked up
and tossed like so much trash
So I was called bossy
What a self destructive cycle
they wove for me.
You had to see it to believe it in the call centre
How you had to queue up twice in the lines
To hand in your bag and phone
Mard **** fcking security guards thinking they're God
Elevated to a lofty status beyond you and me
Who the fck do these twoddles think they are?
Donald **** Fcking Trump?
At least he's a really rich *******
The fake guards bellow and strut and act all important
'Put your cellphones, ifones, laptops, computers and TVs here!'
Another plastic guard joins the litany:
'And form a separate line and place your bags here!'
Well fck me six times with three hookers
I don't wanna queue up two f*cking times!
I wanna go home and drink my warm ****** English beer!
'You there! Don't put your gadget in your bag. You must queue up twice. You can't buck the system. We're smart and know all the tricks!'
Off to the back of the second flaming line
I will never ever queue up here again
Nor ever give the smarmy guards another chance to feel like God
Bossing me about and being **** wannabes
They're manning the desk in Reasons Call Centre and are all plonkers
***** their little mind games and rules
I'm resigning from my crap job to be a tank driver
Then I'll ****** show them who's boss...
I want what you have
I want your dreams; the ones that scare you shitless
I want your secrets; the ones you can’t share with anyone
I want the thoughts that keep you awake at night; the ones that excite you
I want the ideas you want to share; the ones you know you never will share
I need what you have
I need your arms around my waist; the arms that will never be there
I need your lips pressed against mine; the lips that mine will never touch
I need your ***** smile smiling at me; the smile that will never look in my direction
I need your stupid ugly khaki jacket around my shoulders; the jacket that will never be near me
I wish that I have what you have
I wish I had your idiotic confidence; the confidence that I will never get back
I wish I had your insanely smart brain; the brain that has put up barriers against me
I wish I had your annoyingly inappropriate jokes; the jokes that you stopped telling me
I wish I had your ability to captivate the world; the captivation you no longer use on me
I yearn for what we could have been
I yearn to have an unconditional love; one that will never break
I yearn to have uncontrollable kisses; ones that we are unable to stop
I yearn to have cheesy promposals; ones that make everyone jealous of us
I yearn for extravagant valentine's day gifts; ones that make me want to scream and cry
You don't want what I have
My dreams; the ones that will never happen
My secrets; the ones that will tear people apart
My thoughts that keep me up at night; the ones that can even terrify me
My ideas that I want to share; the ones that would wreak havoc on everyone
You don’t need what I have
My thick messy hair; the hair that constantly falls in my face
My ***** brown converse; the ones with the laces falling apart
My empty grey eyes; the eyes that stare straight at you watching you ignore me
My annoying voice; the voice that says ****** comments to protect herself from your friends
You don’t wish to have what I have
My brutal honesty; the honesty that burns bridges
My crazy distrust; the distrust that worries my mother
My unbelievable pessimism; the pessimism that causes people to leave
My need to control everyone; the need to control that consumes all of my thoughts
You don’t yearn for what we could have been
You don’t yearn for unconditional love; not with me
You don’t yearn for uncontrollable kisses; but with her
You don’t yearn to give cheesy promposals; you would do anything to be with her
You don’t yearn to give extravagant valentine's day gifts; you would give anything to be with her
No matter how much I want...need...wish...yearn for you
You will always be wanting, needing, wishing, and yearning for her more
She is the pulsing red dot you are moving towards
I am barely more than a blip on your radar.
"Smile, quit 'pretending' you're depressed."
"Don't speak unless spoken to."
"Paint your lips and cover your eyes,
this way you will be liked."
"Stop being a rebel,
nobody wants that."
"Be grateful for the clothes on your back."
"You owe me EVERYTHING,
I could have left you alone."
"Stop removing yourself from the family."
"Stay out of trouble."
"Don't hang out with THEM."
"Go to church."
"Don't put on dark makeup."
"Don't raise your voice."
"Do what i say,
no questions asked."
"Don't back talk!"
"Give nothing but your best!"
"Surely you can do better then THAT!"
"Stop being so... distant."
"Your a freak,
but if you don't hide it,
you'll NEVER be loved."
"Be home on time."
"Do your work."
"Get a job."
"Don't get caught."
"Don't you sass ME!"
"keep your head down,
and just MAYBE you'll be lucky
and not end up alone."
"Don't give your heart away."
"Friends come and go,
so leave before they do."
"DON'T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY!!"
"Keep your thoughts to yourselves."
"Your opinion doesn't matter,
what would give you that crazy idea?"
"Hold it all in."
"Wear this mask created by society."
"Act like a lady."
"Your getting awfully chubby,
go for a run til you drop."
"Stop eating so much,
"Sit up straight."
"Hold your head high."
"Take care of your siblings."
"Stop reading and put that **** book down!!!"
"Take your headphones out."
or I'll give you something to cry about."
"Don't **** into my conversation."
"Stop coming to your siblings aid."
"you are so annoying!"
"Don't bark orders."
"Quit being so lazy."
art is a waste of time."
"Don't write all of these awful poems."
"Don't let them see you cry."
"Come to me with your problems!"
"Don't keep your siblings secrets,
STOP PROTECTING THEM!"
"Even if they give me no choice?"
"Are you REALLY going to be the kind
of girl who lets them decide for you??"
People in a authority there jobs just go to their heads.
To heavy *handed
Pushing the vunlable.
The less fortunate.
Cruel lack of empathy
Had enough of them.
They make my blood boil.
Over And over again.
Need brought down a peg or two.
I'll** show them
Who they are dealing with.
— The End —