"As I walked in a ocean, embracing the fastly moving waves hitting my knees like it had that much power, I noticed a two sea shells; A white one, and a grey one. I picked them up and eyed them. Then I picked up the white one carefully and listened. It had peaceful wind playing and As I picked up the darker one, My hand my stabbed slightly by a pointy hedge. Then the question came to mind. Heaven or Hell?~"
This never happened! :D
she's something glorious
i'm something wild
****, I like her a whole lot
I should have been better
I should have saved you
I don't know what kind of friend I am
This is the second time I've failed you
And the fourth time I've failed as a friend
my friends keep hurting themselves and it is all my fault and I just want them to be okay because I love them like sisters and it's so horrible and no one deserves the pain they have less than them
I AM A F!CKING FAILURE OF A FRIEND
I AM SO SORRY THEARA
You know why I'm obsessed with makeup?
You know why I literally BREAK. DOWN. when I see myself in the mirror on one of those REALLY ugly days that I have?
You know why I seem f!cking vain and beauty obsessed and attention seeking because of how self-deprecating I am?
You know why I am currently crying...alone...on my bedroom floor...kind of pathetically?
Because now I'm a little bit scared
That maybe I DO have a disease of the mind
Maybe I DO have something in my head that isn't right
It just seems so impossible
Because I mean
I look in the mirror
And all I see is this hideous shameful beastly girl
In fact, I genuinely feel terrible for the people who have to look at me
and I don't know why
I just don't see how anybody could ever possibly think that I am pretty
And for some reasons I'm crying right now
And I feel really alone
But no no no
There is no way I really have dysmorphia
I feel embarrassed
Like I come across shallow
And makeup obsessed
Because I can't ever see myself as pretty
NOT EVEN ONCE
not even decent
Not even reasonable
I just. see. UGLY.
and ashamed of my face,
And ashamed of my obsession
Because it is like the only medicine they made
To fix this affliction
Makeup can make up for how ugly I am
maybe it can fix me
maybe I won't hate myself anymore
but it never does
and I hate crying alone!
I am currently crying. Alone...
yes, I know. Attention seeking *****. I just needed to express it somewhere and I figured HP wasn't a bad choice. I don't want to call someone because then I feel like an overdramatic burden.
I stare at my face in the mirror,
Wondering, wondering, wondering,
Why do I have acne?
I eat the slice of double cheese pizza that's cooling in my hand,
Putting it down, I touch the underdeveloped pimples on my face,
Popping each one out of irritation,
I finish by drinking two can of coco cola after.
*Oh*, what a healthy life style I'm living!
Hints of sarcasm here and there. :>
— The End —