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I'M STANDING ON THE SHORE
FROM A DISTANCE
I CAN SEE THE HARBOUR LIGHT
RAIN POURING DOWN
RAIN, RAIN

DARKNESS ALL AROUND
I CAN SEE, THE BITTERSWEET MOON
ALONG THE SHORE
MY TOES GLIDE IN THE TIDE

SEASHELLS SWEPT IN
I CAN FEEL THE WARMTH OF YOUR SOUL
YOU CHANGED MY LIFE
BITTERSWEET MOON

RUNNING ALONG THE SHORE
RAIN COMING, RAIN
YOU AND I STARING AT THE

BITTERSWEET MOON
NO MORE EMPTY SPACES

BITTERSWEET MOON
BITTERSWEET MOON
RAIN POURING DOWN
RAIN, RAIN

HOLDING YOUR HAND
YOU AND I
RUNNING IN THE SAND
UNDER THE BITTERSWEET MOON

BITTERSWEET MOON
BITTERSWEET MOON
BITTERSWEET MOON
BITTERSWEET MOON

BY THE FIRE
YOU AND I
UNDERNEATH THE
BITTERSWEET MOON
GLIDING OUR TOES IN THE TIDW
BITTERSWEET MOON
clara Jun 2018
it’s bittersweet
she said
to see
the person
which you
once loved
leave
it’s bittersweet
she said
to have someone
you love
treat you
like you were
unlovable
it’s bittersweet
she said
to see
the broken
world you
live in
but love
it’s bittersweet
she said
to leave
those you love
behind
to be happy
it’s bittersweet
she said
to make
someone sad
with your
own joy
it’s bittersweet
she said
to live a life
where you’re
supposed
to love
but no one
loves you back
it’s bittersweet
she said
to live my life
because my life
is simply
bittersweet.
Bittersweet

The higher we go
The harder we fall

Bittersweet

Leaves you feeling
Lower than low
Smaller than small

Bittersweet

Sweetness
With a bitter aftertaste

Bittersweet

Helplessly feeling our joy
Go to waste

Bittersweet

Pleasure tinged with sadness
And pain

Bittersweet

Efforts to achieve happiness
All in vain

Bittersweet

Life's cruel little game

Bittersweet

Always a crying shame

By Lady R.F. (C)2017
Jenni Littzi May 2019
All the things that I should have said
And all the plans I should have kept
I’d do anything for that time back
But things change and you went away

Forever is only a moment in time
You can get lost in the blink of an eye
I wish you a bittersweet goodbye
You seem lost now, but eventually
We’ll be back together happily
Cheers to a goodbye so bittersweet

I promise you that you’ll go on
You will never leave my thoughts
But because you left too soon
I am distraught and I am blue

Forever is only a moment in time
You can get lost in the blink of an eye
I wish you a bittersweet goodbye
You seem lost now, but eventually
We’ll be back together happily
Cheers to a goodbye so bittersweet

One day bittersweet won’t be bitter
Until that day, your legacy will continue

Forever is only a moment in time
You can get lost in the blink of an eye
I wish you a bittersweet goodbye
You seem lost now, but eventually
We’ll be back together happily
Cheers to a goodbye so bittersweet
Shashank Virkud Oct 2010
Bittersweet, get me going.
                     hold your breath over my neck,
      
                             it really

         lets me go,

                         twists my tongue.
Talk to me
                  like an angel
but,
                                
                         touch me                
like a convict.
 
                        disrespect me,

              neglect me,
abuse me,

but,
              with a voice I can't refuse.

Bittersweet, like a rose infused.


Bittersweet, keep me going.

        my heart
flutters and flails when I hear you in my ear.
      
      Whisper me *******

but,                
                       ***** me

like a ******.

                    ****** me,

             reduce me,
fool me, 
            but  Bittersweet,                      
        ­            make me feel *****.
Like you're in school
         and I am turning thirty.
Joliver May 2018
I am a bittersweet smile
One that hides hurt
And shame
Like they were easter eggs
That are the shape
Of the fragmentations of
A shattered heart
Each filled
With sweet cyanide
And truthful tears

I am a bittersweet smile
One that never quite believes
That it deserves any love
Any praise, any friendship
Anymore
Because everything in this life
Is too good for a bittersweet smile

I am a bittersweet smile
The kind that knows it will be alone
In the end
And tries to reassure itself
That it's okay
You like being alone

I am a bittersweet smile
One that knows it has no right
To complain about what
Made it so crooked
One that hides from the past
One that hurts
As if the stretching of flesh was unnatural
And cruel

I am a bittersweet smile
One that everyone says they love
But I wonder if they ever
Look at my eyes
Because they hold the truth
The one my grin disguises
Christina O May 2018
So tired of all the memories 
It brings me back to you
And I can't help but wonder
How I'll go on another year 
Fighting all these demons 
That remind me you're not here 

It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 
 
I go back to that day 
And picture the last time 
It breaks me down
And I fall to my knees
Asking why?
Why? 
 
It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 
 
One year passes, now almost two
And I'm scared to face it
But somehow you know 
And the day though dark 
Was suddenly turned brighter

A beautiful little face
Born on this day 
 
It's a bittersweet December 
And it haunts me all the time
I can't change what happened
But I can make it all brand new 

It's a bittersweet December 
And though it haunts me all the time
I can finally breath again
With the miracle you've blessed
 
In this bittersweet December
This is a poem I wrote based off a story I wrote. It’s sort of meant to be a song.
Emily Jun 2014
Nanu, I had a dream last night that you came back

From being gone almost 3 years

We embraced and I told you I missed you so much

It was bittersweet, really.

I had seen you, and then you disappeared.

Like a shadow, when the sun decides to sleep.

I could've slept eternally knowing I would've been with you; forever

I remember when you were first diagnosed with lung cancer.

You held a smooth stone and told me, "Emily this stone is going to heal me one day."

You told me how it would make you better.

I remember one thanksgiving you gave me a glass of your wine

It was, bittersweet.

Vinegary as it ate away my tastebuds
Sweet like strawberries marinading in sugar, only.. Wine is made out of grapes... You taught me that.

Its funny, you used to let me sit upon your lap when you mowed the lawn, it was my own mistake for crashing it into the fence.

It was, bittersweet.

I got to drive a lawn mower and you had to fix the fence.

I look back to how happy you were on the sun porch in the summer heat, especially when lightening would strike the area around us,

I'd hide my face in your tarnished sweater

It was, bittersweet.

This morning I stood in the snow

Weeping as I stared at the sky,

Then I remembered, you didn't disappear, you just went on vacation for awhile.

It's bittersweet, really.
Cheyanne Ntangu Jun 2014
The thunder-storm of my deepest, darkest blues but at the same time my peace, my calmest of oceans.
With him my highs are complete.
my very own overdose of intoxicating substance, bought highs that's only cheap thrills,
this high can last a life time
but when the high is gone I feel all shades of blue but the lows are worth the intoxication. It's not a bond worth breaking.

how can he be my strength and weakness right at the same time?
how can the negatives and positives be entwined?
this bittersweet love, this mandarin-oranges juice that drips right on my tongue.
this pineapple juice with bits situation, this bittersweet love.
this bittersweet love, filled my plain canvas with colour, fresh wounds are open.
this colour palette of cut up feelings and emotions that gives my black and white canvas colour, love.

this bittersweet love, you're my good morning and good night,
my hello and my goodbye,
you're my random smile,
my dark knight,
the one who has my soul
you're my bus journey thought, my topic of conversation, you're my...do I look right? Do I feel right?

you're  my depression,
you're my sadness
and my question why.
you're my confusion
but all my answer are found in you. You're my death trap
but you're the only one that can save me.
it's a catch 22 and that's all on you, that's the predicament you put me in but you're willing to save me, right?
you're that overdose,
that high,
this bittersweet love
The lows are worth intoxication
It's a bond not worth breaking

By Cheyanne Ntangu
Kind of an old poem
Dhaye Margaux May 2014
My bittersweet love,
You are the only reason
Why I chose to live
And not to run from strife

I will bear every pain
I will cross every bridge
I will swim the vast ocean
Just to be with you

My bittersweet love,
I will chose to embrace the pain
of loving you just to live
than to face a smile with death
for you are my life
and only for you
this heart belongs

Ah, my bittersweet love
You will be forever
in my heart.
For them who love unconditionally...
Emily Mary Apr 2014
Nanu, I had a dream last night that you came back

From being gone almost 3 years

We embraced and I told you I missed you so much

It was bittersweet, really.

I had seen you, and then you disappeared.

Like a shadow, when the sun decides to sleep.

I could've slept eternally knowing I would've been with you; forever

I remember when you were first diagnosed with lung cancer.

You held a smooth stone and told me, "Emily this stone is going to heal me one day."

You told me how it would make you better.

I remember one thanksgiving you gave me a glass of your wine

It was, bittersweet.

Vinegary as it ate away my tastebuds
Sweet like strawberries marinading in sugar, only.. Wine is made out of grapes... You taught me that.

Its funny, you used to let me sit upon your lap when you mowed the lawn, it was my own mistake for crashing it into the fence.

It was, bittersweet.

I got to drive a lawn mower and you had to fix the fence.

I look back to how happy you were on the sun porch in the summer heat, especially when lightening would strike the area around us,

I'd hide my face in your tarnished sweater

It was, bittersweet.

This morning I stood in the snow

Inhaling the heavy smoke of my marlboro cigarette

Weeping as I stared at the sky,

Then I remembered, you didn't disappear, you just went on vacation for awhile.

It's bittersweet, really.
Megan Galema Feb 2012
Taste buds engraved on my tongue
feel emotions of salty, sweet, bitter entities
the heart instilled in my body
taste flavors of aggravation, happiness, and sorrow.
Bittersweet is not just a combination of flavors,
reserved only for taste buds.
It somehow has explored into the world of the soul,
Because emotions are twisted in a circle,
that only a true oxymoron,
like bittersweet can fulfill it's complication.
Bittersweet has diffused into much more
something that can't be described by other emotions,
but rather than a description of situations,
like a good cry or a good pain.
and don't think I'm completely insane,
but for the longest time bittersweet
has been the epitome of what's left of my sanity.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
You'll say my name
and I hope
it tastes
bittersweet
as it leaves your lips.
I know when I say yours,
it is bittersweet.
But that's partially because I
loved you.
But I'm moving forward.
I plan to follow my dreams,
like you wanted me to do
but never helped me.
Even though you did try.
As you move on,
remember that
you only deserve the best.
And you'd probably tell me the same thing,
saying you deserve nothing.
Your name is bittersweet as my lips form around it.
I'm trying to move on
but
I don't want to move on
because that means I had done it without you.
You are my bittersweet memories.
Monica Sep 2016
What a sick game
A game of chess I can't seem to win
I'm a pawn
Being moved back and forth
But no matter where I go
It's a checkmate

I'm so close to the edge
I'm looking into the pit of depression
I know he's down there
He's always down there
Yet

Here I stand
On the edge
Even with the knowledge of his destruction

What a bittersweet mentality
Things are so sweet and peaceful
Then it suddenly tastes bitter in my mouth

My words turn into cement
Closing my throat
And suffocating me

So close to the edge
I can see over the pit
I can see the other side
But I'm afraid to jump
I'm afraid to go for it
Because of this bittersweet mentality

I'd get there
To the other side
And I'd be happy
But then I'd fall
Fall into the deepest, darkest pits of depression

So I stay on this side
Trying to find away across
Pacing back and forth
Like a pawn on a chess board
Trying to solve an endless puzzle

I feel like I'm about to fall
But I'm fighting
I feel like I'm going to lose
But I know I'm going to win

I won't let this bittersweet mentality
Rule my life anymore
I'll get through this
By myself
Or with the help of those around me

I will get through this

No thanks to my bittersweet mentality
AllAtOnce May 2015
I'm going to kiss you one time before you leave
Then my heart will beat beat beat until it's free
Just to see what you taste like
Will your eyes be opened or closed
I'll apologize a million times
As we hear the soft sounds of shedding clothes
I'll apologize to you and I'll apologize to her
For everything I ever took you for
As you run your fingers through my hair
And I taste your bittersweet teeth
I hope you're not thinking about me
Oh, I hope you're not thinking about me

I'm going to feel your bones just to get underneath your skin
Life isn't worth living without a few sins, sins, sins
Just so you can plead your innocence with her later  
I hope to god you won't hate her
And I'll apologize a million times
For every time I said I was just fine
As I dress in the shirt you wore yesterday
Don't you dare ask me to stay
I'll apologize to you I'll apologize to her
Because the night faded into a blur
As I ran my fingers through your hair
And tasted your bittersweet teeth
I hope you didn't think about me
Oh, I hope you didn't think about me

I'm going to stand back and watch you go
But I won't stop you, no, no, no
I just wanted to see what you were like
No matter how long I'll wish you hadn't gone
The time we spent together was far too long
So leave me with a song for my lips and sugar for my sins
I'll apologize to you I'll apologize to her
For making things more complicated than they were
Forget that I ran my fingers through your hair
And tasted your bittersweet teeth
I hope you never think about me
Oh, I hope you never think about me
Cheyenne Oct 2015
Life is so bittersweet,
An old song brings up memories
You smile for the memories
But cry because they are gone.

Life is so bittersweet,
He says he has always loved you,
You smile because you love him too,
You cry because he has someone else.

Life is so bittersweet,
You get the answers you have been searching for,
You smile because you have closure,
You cry because it is too late.
You all are leaving,
and its putting me in a state of grieving,
I guess I'm scared of this strange change,
paired with knowing life is never going to be the same,
it's kind of a shame,
however I want us all to do good in this life,
and than can only happen,
with our feet pressing on,
and our faith maintaining to be strong,
so that we can meet on the plains of tomorrow,
where we can smile and greet,
and accept that life is bittersweet.
sydney Sep 2018
i laugh at the irony
that love broke my heart.
unnamed Aug 2018
I'll see what I can make
out of the leftovers I have.
Although, it's never too long
until the milk turns bad,

until a love turns sour
in an online second;
since, an online minute
wastes a real-life hour.

But in a snap-shot moment,
I can find life for weeks
on my stash of sugar truths,
until I forget to eat;

forget to breathe;
'til I don't even need to sleep
because the lovehearts on my photos
sing such soft melodies.

And despite the fact
that often I can't sit at ease,
somehow this perfect madness
always tastes so bittersweet.
a poem about the addictive nature of social media
Kass Dec 2014
You sugar-coat our future
With a cotton-candy kiss;
A sweet slip of tongue,
A chocolate press of lips

Your eyes yield a bittersweet gleam,
Your hair, tangled with icing grease,
But things are never what they seem,
Everything must go, all things must cease

My dear, your love is sweeter than all things sweet,
Your touch softer than all things soft,
I feel high on sugar when our lips meet,
But to a sugar low we are opt.
Inspired by the song "Bittersweet Tragedy" by Melanie Martinez
JRL Feb 2017
PRE-CHORUS ::
Can you taste it? Can you taste it!? CAN YOU TASTE IT!?!?
THIS IS BITTERSWEET!

CHORUS ::
Tear me up inside! Treat me like the ones who hurt you!
THIS IS BITTERSWEET!
Never again! Will I ever trust your word!
THIS IS BITTERSWEET!
Clever deceiver! Leading me on like you did, then rejecting my every effort!
IS THIS BITTERSWEET?
Was this love ever sweet?"

VERSES 1, 2, & 3 ::
Tear me up inside, like you always do with your sweet demeanor. Unknown to me, this is the last time. Your intentions seemed clear, you shared your heart. Or was it false emotion?

Do you really see him in me!? Now the trust we had is gone. Everything you said is a lie, should I have expected this from you? Take my gift and burn it. I'm burning. Slow burning. You were the only one who ever listened.

The hardest part of this is knowing I lost what I convinced was love. I'm not bitter. Four later and still alone. My intentions were pure. Who can know yours.

LOW OUTRO CHORUS:
Now you tear me up inside. Accusing me, just as the one who hurt you. Never again will I ever trust your word. What is real? False portrayals and misguided intentions. Know that we were never sweet."
TM
False Pretense
Elah Naldo Apr 2017
sunkissed skin and vibrant skies,
warm season was always the same
but when i met those summer dazed eyes,
i knew that trouble just came

he had lips that kissed wetter than the ocean
he had arms like waves that swallowed me
he filled my summer with cuddly flirtations
he filled thousands of sunflowers within me

but just like how summer came to an end,
he left and autumn arrived with tears to shed
and just like how abandoned flowers would be,
they slowly died inside together with me

that summer was more than fifty shades of love
but all turned into an endless waves of misery
just wishing upon the tangerine sky above
that tides will bring him back to me
an entry to a summer themed poem writing competition
Jasmine smiles Apr 2014
What can I say
That has never been said
What can I read
That has never been read
What can I hear
That has never been heard
Who can I say "hello"
Who has never heard "goodbye"
Who can I say "I love you"
Who has never heard "I hate you"

Everything is a Bittersweet Lie.
I am a little bit twisted
I am a little bit obscene
I want to feel you in tight places
And everywhere in between

I'd tie you up and leave you there
Until I can't hear you scream
Then slit your thighs and roll in your blood
And lick it up like cream.
The sun rises then sets;
It's beautiful.
The moon glows then disappears;
It's beautiful.

The thought of 'Us' is bittersweet.
'Us' is ugly yet so beautiful.
'Us' is saccharine yet so acidic.


Demoralized thoughts
derived from cynical trepidation
seem to render me dazed and addled.

I've never experienced a love like this:
a love whereas i voluntarily succumb to any of your surmises,
a love whereas your wants and needs come before mine,
a love whereas I feel like i need you,
a love whereas I suffer from withdrawal
when your voice fails to reach my ear for too long,
when your skin fails to touch my skin for too long,
when the trust I so much had in you
..
..
..
seems to no longer exist.

*Would anyone savour the taste of a bittersweet fruit?
RaiRaiJewell Sep 2017
Each stroke of the brush with ease
The paint glides across the wall and spell the words running through my mind
The words I speak taste foul
Bittersweet
Which is why they are now in these walls
But the taste is still there
Of all the things to say
Your name is all of thought of today
Have you ever been faithful?
Concerned ?
Sincere?
Bittersweet
My tongue is cold and your name is old through these words on my wall
Over and over again the paint peels and falls to bow at my feet
Bittersweet concrete
Lost in that mind of yours
Clouded by lust is all you want but will never get
Because I regret ever being with you
Love is a thing most wretched vile,
hear me now for what I say is true.
A shattered soul, an empty smile
is all that will remain of you.

If Love should be when the birds would sing,
then a crow I must be.
If Love doth joy from the heart forth-bring
then mine is but a lonesome cavity.

If one should drink from that poisoned spring
to prove absurdity,
then one will cling to suffering
for neigh eternity.

Yet know this about Love's bittersweet breath:
If it is pure, it will outlast even death.
Nik Bland Sep 2012
Slow and somber song, your melody is bittersweet
Leaving poets with losses for words, knocking strong men from their feet
Meet, meet these fragile ears and help me to sing along
Lifting out the bittersweet taste of the somber, slower song

Shade each note in on paper woven from the stars
Falling to earth from the heavens and missing where shining lights are
Fleeting is the moment here in the pace and place where we belong
Lifting out the bittersweet taste of the somber, softer song

Teardrops fall to the river and strike the starting cue
Fireflies dance amonst the mist in the field where I search for you
Deep, deep does this song's words pierce in my heart like night pierced by dawn
Lifting out the bittersweet taste of the somber, softer song

Rest your head onto the grass and see as it softly caresses your skin
Feel the tip of each stanza, know not where one ends nor where one begins
Steep, steep is the fall into sorrow as days grow short and nights grow long
Lifting out the bittersweet taste of the somber, softer song
pixels Jun 2013
You Reap What You Sow

A sentiment that never quite stuck.

I did what I would-
Consequences were a punishment
for villains more obvious
than the sweet girl I played.

But the real world is not so biased,
peeling away the masks I wore

You Lay in the Bed You Make*

But my pillow is filled with thorns,
and my blanket is thread-bare.
The mattress is layered with spiders' webs
and the chill never abates.

I long for the One to warm my soul...
But it's been years since another has lain so close

For I sow seeds of deceit
and when they bloom
the fruit is bittersweet
and the stems cannot bear weight.
You get only what you deserve.
kyle Shirley Jan 2015
As we all have someone in our lifes we love or hate... vengeance is bittersweet. Id love to go bust down the door of her house. And not **** her, but her family... to hurt her soul, like shes done mine. Have her stand there alone with nothing left but emptiness... but I cant. It would destroy me,  take my "heaven". **** maybe hell wouldnt be so bad if I got in with the right people. But im scared. I love life and my biggest fear is death. For a man with nothing, I feel I have the most to lose... myself in bitter sweet nothingness...
Zach Hanlon Feb 2015
The world melts
My senses combust
My fingertips tingle

The world sways
I sway
I collapse

I feel numb
Disoriented
Everything goes dark...

A light.
A siren.
A vision of faceless faces.

I am alive.

The smell of disinfectant.
The idle chatter of two nurses.
A buzzing in my ear.

I am alive.
duhastnach Mar 2015
You're a one night stand
But we spent too many nights
I lost count of it.

You're that unexpected kiss
On a drunken wasted night
Of vomits and *****.

You're that awkward hi
Exchanged by strangers who
Thought they both knew each other
But were clearly mistaken for another.

You're the bruise that turns blue
When I accidentally bump my leg
On the corner of the bed.

You're the scar that I never
Knew I had.

You're the bittersweet taste in
My mouth every morning.

You're the last thought lingering
In my head before slumber takes me
And you're the vagueness that
Haunts me in my dreams.

You're the scalding hot shower
In a cold freezing morning.

You're the boiling tea that numbs
My tongue for the rest of the day.

You're the obsession
I will never learn to let go of.

You're that person I will
Never get to call mine.

You're the one that got away.
Purcy Flaherty Jan 2018
Initially she began contacting me over the course of a year or so and increasingly over the last few months she started visiting me, helping me, caring for me and occasionally employing me in different ways.

She’d just had a break up a few weeks before, explaining that things hadn’t been right in the relationship for some time!

She presents herself as respectful, thoughtful, gentle, kind and considerate and after what seemed to be a very short length of time; unexpectedly declared that she had feelings for me; regarding love, admiration, desire and some other adventures.

She then began to bombarded me with love talk; occupying around 70% of my time gaining my trust, I was swept off my feet; she took a great deal of interest in me, learning everything about me, what I liked, where I would go, always asking what I was thinking feeling, how she could help and I was flattered and she was charming, though a little awkward at times.

As our friendship grew she started sharing her back story, including some tragic life experiences; she vilified her past lovers, and ex-partners and branded them as crazy, or bitter liars and troubled souls; slowly gaining my sympathy, whilst securing my allegiance, and keeping me on side; keeping me close; drawing on my compassion loyalty & trust!

During intimate moments she would sometimes seem a little awkward, false, over enthusiastic, or a little insincere and I made allowances for this given my knowledge of her backstory. Re: (The tragic life events & experiences)

She began to choose and buy me clothes; outfits, take me shopping, gradually altering my outward image and appearance.

She introduced me to her friends; but was careful to keep me and them at arms-length, I realise now that she was building an alternative profile of me in their minds and that the people she introduced to me rarely exhibited the behaviours or characteristic that I was led to expect.

She soon started to embroil me in her own rituals and compulsive behaviour’s, explaining that tasks needed to be performing in very specific ways to prevent her getting distressed!

She made many promises : ‘Hooked’ It was my expectation i.e. waiting for some of those promises to materialise that kept me hanging on; This increased her control and exited her too. (None of her promises came to fruition!)

She gradually had a hand in almost every aspect of my life i.e. my home, my work, my friends, family, my finances, the way I dressed, the food I ate and many other things besides, much of which I didn’t realise until our relationship was finally over.

She often took immense pleasure in duping, individuals or companies out of something through theft, shoplifting, or getting something for nothing, a profiteer, a chancer!


To question or challenge her authority would result in seeing her façade slip and watch her decline into meltdown. It's at that point, she would lose composure, and I would see her irrationality come to the fore; revealing the real person underneath; childish, contrived and very fragile; It’s as if control is the glue that holds her together, without it she just falls apart, during this time she can’t be consoled and it’s impossible to calm this escalating situation; in fact; at this point that she would attempt to regain control by ‘gas-lighting’ me, she would distort the truth; who said what; in an attempt to damage my self-esteem, to make me question my own mind, my words, my intention and any actions, apportioning blame, pointing fingers, making me feel guilty, use rejection, or using hurt, sorrow, tears, shame and even threaten liable or legal action, and then use *** to pacify or regain control over me and my actions.

These episodes would appear often; though irregular and without provocation, I would always be deemed at fault! I found silent compliance was less stressful than engaging in discussion.    

She never took responsibility or made any apologies for her conduct.

She would set me tasks and go out a lot and lie or bend the truth as to where she had been; I never challenged this behaviour!

When the relationship was finally deemed over! I was both devastated and relieved.


I began to see my new position in the cycle; as she immediately begin to vilify me in order to give credence to her new backstory, I felt very confused, disorientated and emotionally fraught, shell shocked! questioning, how much of our relationship was true and how much was a lie? For everything I thought I knew was now knitted together with a very complex web of loyalties, lies and half-truths.

Her pattern of repetitive and controlling behaviours have seemingly remained unchanging throughout all her relationships!; (I know! as I was contacted by many of her previous partners and other casualties since I shared this account.)

Within two weeks of being apart she told me that she had fallen in love (My replacement) someone she’d had her eye on for some time, some-one she admires, someone kept in the background, a friend a mutual acquaintance, and thanked me for bringing them together.
The grooming of her new lover would have come about in exactly the same way as previously described. It's her M.O. (Her pattern of behaviours, her techniques have remained fixed.)

She’s incredibly self-conscious, her biggest fear is that other people will find out about her true demeanour, her image and appearance is everything to her. She's afraid that people will shun her for being so very different. She is a wolf, that’s not a malevolent creature par-say; and quite beautiful and beguiling in her own way but you don’t want to be her pray.

Full circle:
I too have joined the ranks of the discredited; labelled a liar, troubled, bitter and crazy. (I Know this because secretly contacted members of my, family, friends and some fellow musicians; and they shared these conversations with me.) I suspect that she may even attempt to vilify me with authorities or threaten some form of legal action; as she has to others in the past!

I'm still drawn to her despite my knowledge of her sociopathic nature, and all the things that go with it, her charismatic boldness, her ****** power and her Svengali like intelligence.

I’ve had to block all means of contact and cut her off entirely to curtail my pathological interest, for despite everything that’s transpired, her lies, her infidelity, her deceit and appalling behaviour, I feel no malice towards her; quite the opposite, I'm drawn, intrigued, bewitched, beguiled by the person hiding underneath the façade!

Now the dust has finally settled; I’ve somehow remained sound of mind, and I don’t feel guilty anymore; I’m aware that I’ve been manipulated into thinking and acting in ways that don’t truly represent my character; and that I’m just one of many people seduced by a sociopath.

She’s just another natural human variant , an attractive person devoid of empathy for others, that’s developed a narrow set of skills and mirroring behaviours, that allows her to blend into mainstream society in order to feel safe, secure and in control.

She would have preferred to keep me hanging on, like many other dependants, adding me to the hareem; a bank of beguiled individuals that she occasionally calls upon to perform simple tasks, or to simply monitor and re-assess her handwork.

The last time I saw her she opened with nervous politeness and finished with veiled cruelty, I left feeling drained, uncomfortable and quite fazed.

I’ve written this account to help further understand what had transpired during this complicated relationship, I’m not sure publishing this account will be useful as to others.

But I’ve not mentioned any names; and at any rate the next person targeted; will ignore any pre-warnings as just bitter ramblings, and most individuals are driven by the natural pursuit of love, *** and romance rather than following advice of some seemingly bitter ex.

Bittersweet! The reason you and I might attract the attention of a sociopath is because we shine like stars; stars are both attractive and further enhance the image and status of the sociopath and the people around them; a sociopath will orbit a shiny star and use its energy to slingshoting into a larger more attractive orbit, either stealing a bit of its shine or destroy it in the process; To these people love, *** and desire is simply a tool for manipulation and gain.

Expect high drama.
She loves to watch you *** unstuck!
Scarlett Jul 2018
You are a complication
a welcomed conundrum
our passion is mutilation
your desire a dungeon

The dilemma of us
a selfish cycle
a vendetta of trust
soft touch feels spiteful

Inevitable tragedy
so deliciously inviting
a seductive catastrophe
are we loving or fighting

my heavy mind
dragged behind me
a devilish heart
out to blind me

Love me problematically
I accept your burden
adore me traumatically
bittersweet like my bourbon

so torture me until I smile




: )
we always seem to love the people we're not supposed to
jake aller Dec 2019
Snarling Cup of Coffee    




I like to start my day with a hot cup of coffee
I pound down the coffee
First thing I do every day
as the dawning sun
Lights up my lonesome room

Yeah, but not just a simple cup of java Joe, but a ******* snarling sarcastic smarmy cup of coffee

I mean, - we are talking about an alcoholic, all speed ahead, always hot, always fresh, always there when I need it, angry, attitude talk to the hand Ztude, bad, bad assed, beats breaking, beatnik, bluesy, bitter, ******, bombs away, capitalistic, caffeinated up the ***, cinematic, communistic, Colombian grown, Costa Rican inspired, Cowabunga to the max, crazy assed, devilishly angelic, divine, divinely inspired, dyslexic, epic, extreme vetting, evil eye, expensive, ****** vision inducing, Ethiopian coffee house brewed, euphoric, freaky, freazoid, foxy, Frenched kissed, French brewed, funkified, foxy lady, graphic, GOD in my coffee, with Allah, Ganesh, Jesus, Kali, Buddha, Christians, Durga, Hindus, Mohamed, Jesus and Mo and their friend, the cosmic bar maid, Sai Babai, Shiva, Taoists,

Zoroastrians, drinking my god ****** coffee in Hell;

growling, gnarly, happy, hard as ice, Hawaian blessed, high as a kite, hippie, hip, hipster, hip hoppy, hot as hell yet strangely sweet as heaven, jazzy, jealous, Kerouac approved, kick ***, kick my ******* *** to Tuesday, kick down the doors and take no prisoners, grown in the Vietnam highlands by exVietcong, Guatemalan grown, kiss ***, illegal in every state, imported from all over the ******* world,

insane, lovely, loony, lonely, lonesome, malodorous mean old rotten, *******, nasty, narcotic, never whatever, never meh, never cold, not approved by the CIA, not approved by DHS, not approved for human consumption by the FDA, not your daddy’s sissified corporate cup of coffee, NOT DECAFE coffee, not your Denny’s truck driver weak as brown water cup of fake coffee, not your establishment friendly cup of coffee, Not your FBI coffee, Not FAKE Herbal coffee substitute, but a real cup of coffee, not your farmer brothers dinner crap, not made in America for Americans, not safe for work, not your Starbucks average expensive overpriced ****** corporate chain cup of coffee, Not pretentious, Not White House approved, not State Department safe, nuclear, Not Patriotic, operatic, Peets’s coffee approved,

paranoid, pornographic, psychotic, pontific, politically aware, rapping, rhyming, right here, right now in River city, rock and roll up the Yazoo, sad, sadistic, sarcastic, sassy, satanic, schizoid, *******, silly, ****, smarmy, smelly, smooth, snarky, snarling, stupid, stinking, sweet as honey, sweat inducing, symphonic, Trump can’t handle this coffee, vengeful, Wagnerian, wicked, with nutmeg and cinnamon swirls, with a hint of stevia, with a hint of vanilla, with a hint of ***, with a hint of whisky, with a hint of cherry, with a hint of fruit overtones, with a hint of drugs spicing up the coffee, spendific, speeding, splendid, superior accept no substitutes, survived the Vietnam war, the Iraq war, the Afghan war, the first and Second Korean war, World War 11, the war on poverty, the war on drugs, the war on black people, the ****** revolution,

Soulful as a summer’s night in MOTOWN- James Brown approved, TOP approved, Berkeley approved, the coffee that Jimmy Hendrix drank before he died, the coffee that Elvis drank on his last breakfast, the coffee that Barry White crooned as he drank his cup of coffee – and the coffee that made the white boy play stand up and play that funky music, the coffee that made Jonny B Goode play his guitar, and made Jonny bet the devil his soul after he drank his morning cup of righteous coffee and the coffee that make the Rolling Stones Rock and Roll, the coffee your mother warned you against drinking, the coffee that Napoleon drank when he became the Emperor of all Europe, the Coffee that Beethoven drank when he wrote the Ninth symphony, the coffee that Mozart drank as he wrote his last symphony, the coffee that Lincoln drank before he was killed, the Hemingway drank before he killed himself, the coffee that started the 60’s, and ended the 20th century,

the coffee that Lenin drank as he plotted revolution, the coffee that ****** and Stalin drank with FDR as they divided up the world after World War 11, the cup that JFK drank before he was blown away, the coffee Jerry drinks while driving in cars with random celebrities and political figures, the coffee that Jon Stewart drinks before he goes on an epic take down of some foolish politico, the cup of Arabic coffee that Sadaam drank the day he was executed, the coffee that GW and Cheney drank when they bombed Baghdad, the Indian cup of coffee that Bid Laden drank before 9-11 and just before the seals blew his *** to hell, the cup of coffee that Tiger Woods drank with his mistresses while playing a 3, 000 dollar round of golf at Sandy Lane golf course in Barbados, the last legal drug that does what drugs should do, the cup of coffee that Obama drank when he became President, Vietnamese, Vienna brew, wacky, whimsical,

Whisky Tango Foxtrot, wild, weird, wonderful, WOW, Yabba dabba doo! Yada Yada yada Zappa’s favorite cup of cosmic coffee, and Zorro’s last cup of coffee, Good to the last drop rolled into one simple cup of hot coffee   
As I pound down that first cup of coffee
And fire up my synaptic nerve endings with endless supplies
Of caffeine induced neuron enhancing chemicals

I face the dawning day with trepidation and mind-numbing fear
I turn on the TV and watch the smarmy newscasters in their perfect hair

Lying through their perfect blazing white teeth
about the great success the government is having
Following the great leader's latest pronouncements

I want to scream
and shoot the TV
and run out side

Shouting
Stop the world!
I want to get
off this ******* crazy planet"

The earth does not care a whit
about my attitude problem

It merely shrugs
and moves around the Sun
In its appointed daily run

the universe whispers
in my ear
time to drink more coffee
for an attitude adjustment

And I sit down
The madness dissipating a bit
And enjoy my second cup
Of heaven and hell
In my morning cup of Joe

Coffee Revolutions



coffee cup
Coffee led to the American Revolution<span
As patriots drank coffee
To rebel against
the aristocratic English tea

Coffee started the London Stock Market
And started the gossip mills running
Every great invention
Was fed by coffee's sweet brew
sweet allure

All the great thinkers
All the great leaders
All were enslaved
to coffee's magic

I sing my praises
Of the great
glorious coffee lady

Long may she continue
To be my sweet companion

Long may coffee continue
To rule my heart
And set my heart
on fire

Ode to Coffee



Mistress of sacred love
Sacred lady of desire

You start my day
Setting my heart on fire
With your dark delicious brew 

And throughout the day
Whenever the mean old blues come by
You chase them away

With your bittersweet ambrosial brew
Every time I inhale your witch's brew

I am filled with power, light and love
And everything is al right Jack
If only for a few fleeting minutes

I love you oh coffee goddess
In all your magical forms

In the dark coffee of the dawning day
In the sizzling coffee in the mid morning break
In the afternoon siesta break
And in the post dinner desert drink

I love you my coffee mistress
You are my refuge
From this horrid world

And you are my secret lover
Never disappoint me, ever
I've never had a bad cup
Of that I can be sure

Even the dismal coffee
Served at Denny's at 3 am
Is still sweet loving coffee

Even the farmer brother's diner coffee
Excites me and gets me going
Asking for another cup of divine delight

Coffee always is there
It is always on and piping hot
With hidden dark secrets
Swirling in its liquid essence

Coffee is my last vice
My only legal vice left

Coffee does not cheat on me
It is always faithful, always true
It does not turn on its friends

And all it asks in return
Is that you come back
Cup after cup after cup

A good cup of coffee
Is a little bit of heaven
In a cup of dark liquid hell

Coffee is like a drug
But a good drug that does what is should
And never complains

It does not get grouchy
It does not hurt you

It does not make you crazy
But allows the muse to come out
And play with it

Coffee led to the American Revolution
As patriots drank coffee
To rebel against the aristocratic English tea

Coffee started the London Stock market
And started the gossips mills running

Every great invention
Was fed by coffee's sweet brew
sweet allure

All the great thinkers
All the great leaders
All were enslaved to coffee's magic

Yeah
I sing my praises
Of the great glorious coffee lady

Long may she continue
To be my sweat companion

Long may coffee continue
To rule my heart
And set my heart on fire

I love thee
Mistress coffee
And sometimes I think
You love me too

No More Coffee Blues








I love coffee
Always have

And coffee has loved me back
But lately I have soured on her
Soured on the whole coffee scene

On the harshness
of the morning brew
And the promises it makes

As I sip of its nectar
Drawn into its lair

Drinking drop by drop
As the caffeine takes over

Rewriting my every nerve
Turning me into a slave
For its perverted pleasure

Yes I love coffee
But I am afraid

Coffee is a harsh mistress
Demanding so much of me

Promising the sun
And delivering the moon

As I drink her swill
Deepening under her influence

I have the coffee blues
Can’t live without her
Can’t live with her

I try
But tea does not cut it
Not really

***** does not do it
At least not in the morning

Yoga is not enough of a buzz
Nor is the runner’s high

And I am afraid deadly afraid of *******
And speed and drugs and energy drinks

And so I remain a slave to coffee
My only legal drug

As I sip another
and fall under
her seductive spread

Once more failing my resolve
To skip coffee for that day
That morning that moment

I shall never be free of her spell
Ever and she knows it
As she beckons me
Every morning with her intoxicating smell

And I come to her
and drink her brew

And become her slave
again and again

Coffee Ya Du





must drink coffee
have every day
the morning dawns
drinking my coffee as I yawn

Morning cup of coffee 



every morning
I drink my coffee
as I contemplate 
the dawning day

watching the news anchors
blather on and on
drinking my coffee
thinking of life

and my coffee
consumes me
overwhelms me
and at time controls me

after all coffee is a drug
and I am her slave
from time to time

Drinking Coffee in the Morning



in the morning
dangerous mood
felling deranged
watching the news

trigger warning
you are ******* dude
end of the world
the end times come

I drink coffee
in the morning



Coffee *** Killed





His wife has banned my use
by my owner
says he makes too much
of a mess when he uses me

it is not his fault
I want to say
but being a coffee ***
can not speak

and so I am abandoned
thrown out into the trash

and feel very sad
for my owner

who was my friend
he liked me

he keep me going
and I did my job

providing him
with fresh coffee

doing my coffee *** duty
and now it is over

Drinking My Coffee


drinking coffee

drinking my coffee
early in the cool morning
thinking life is fine

everything will be okay
after I drink my coffee

morning coffee



morning coffee

dawning sun 











coffee MGur Poem


coffee

I pray to the coffee gods
every cup of coffee
is like a sacrament to me

I pray as I drink my coffee
that it will fill me
with wisdom

and find peace
with my coffee

as I drink
my devotion

Hot coffee


cup of coffee


take coffee with you
Hot hot coffee, makes my day -

Must drink My daily coffee, as the morning dawns - 

With out my morning coffee

in me,  I feel nothing at all -

Electrified Hot Coffee



coffee is the drug of choice
nothing else will do it
as I drink coffee
Electrified
Hot Coffee

Hot Coffee and Cake


coffee
coffee is the drug of choice
electrified circuits
as I drink coffee
coffee and cake



Coffee Patina



coffee
hot coffee
hot Hellish Heaven
Essence of coffee
the rest of the coffee poems can be found at
To often we fail to tune ourselves in.
   We get caught in rut after rut,
      Morphing into puppets... just going with the motions.
Too fixated on all we could lose to recognize each win.
   So weary of love we keep our hearts bolted shut.
      We are so afraid of change we cringe at the notion.

Sometimes you need to runaway from reality,
   Take a leap off of comforts shoulder…
      And dive into your intuition.
Free yourself from that corrupt mentality,
   And smile to keep the world from growing any colder.
      Your soul will sing a melody of bittersweet honesty…just listen.

That is where true beauty lay…
   In each untouched corner of your heart,
      Beneath each unspoken word of your inner voice.
It is never to late when you are blessed with another day.
   To live simply, take a breath and let the past part…
      And confidently make happiness your choice.
January 29, 2014

— The End —