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duhastnach May 2019
Dear You,

We were never meant to be, I’ve learned that now. I’m still learning to live with it. But I will never regret knowing you. It might hurt now and maybe until forever, but the pain was definitely worth it.

You were never the one that got away because I never really had you in the first place. I will live my life in pain because that is all I have of you.

You will always be the one that stole my heart and I know I’ll never have it back. And I’m okay with that. I’d rather you have my heart even if I can’t have yours. My heart is yours to break.

duhastnach May 2019
Dear You,

I never stopped loving you and I don’t think I ever will. I’ll still love you. Even from afar. Even if you will never love me back.

duhastnach Jan 2019
She blinked at me

I followed her eyes
As she scanned me
From inside out
My nerves getting the best of me
Hands shaking behind my back
Praying she wont notice
My vulnerable eyes full of
Fear, anxiety and distraught

She blinked at me

Breathe in
Breathe out
How do i breathe?
What comes after one?
Breathe in...
What comes after breathing?

I have forgotten

I forgot how to count
How to breathe
How to live

She blinked at me

She blinked.
She blinked at me again.
I caught her blinking at me again!
I saw her eyes full of pain and sorrow.
She pulled me
into the darkness.
Her room full of
solitude and despair.

Breathe in

She keeps me.
She keeps me up at night.
With her thoughts of destruction and raucous cries.
To let her out
To let her take control

But I'm denying
Crawling my way out
My skin is blue
And purple
From her scratches
And punches
With her tirade of
Failures and mess

Breathe in
Just breathe

She keeps me
Happy and ecstatic
I could roll over the floor
Past my balcony
Because, she
She keeps me
Chasing for excitement
My blood pumped up
With adrenalin
Like friday
Night and I'm
All clouded with
Cheap mix
Of gin and

She keeps me
She keeps me tangled
Inside her junk of chest
Moulding and decaying
Pieces of her skin
Around my neck
Broken bones
Slashing through my

She is screaming
And wailing
To get out,
I am trembling
Taunted by her cries.
I am pleading
Meaning for her to

Hush now
It will all be fine
Once the clock hits nine
You will be back
Just in time
To dine with my

I shut her off
With my clenched fists
And twisted tongue

She grabbed me closer
And pulled my hair

She said, "This is terrible
Ugly and utterly grime"

With her words i get weak
I shrunk in defeat
Throat clumped
And eyes bleak
Folded in my knees
By the corner of the
Between sanity and disbelief

Go away, i said.
Please please
I want to be
full of life
And free
I want to be me again!

She said, you are you
But i am i,
And i am taking over
Whatever is left
To be salvaged
You are feeble
With your flaccid
Of whatever feat
You call
Walk on water
If you must
I'll let you drown
With your lies
And cries
While i have
The last laugh

Like a
double-edged sword
Her words cut my heart open
Bleeding in abandonment

She keeps blaming me
And claiming that
destroyed her life
That i
ripped her
Dreams off
Into oblivion
Of so much possibilities
Of starting over agains
of paths wishing to be
Of answers waiting
to be thrown in

She keeps panting
Her feet throbbing
finger tips painting
The blank canvas
With more emptiness
And disregard

My wobbly knees
And fickle mind
Gave in
I plucked my ears and
Yanked my eyes out

In my deafened state
i can still hear
Her voice echoing.

With no sight
I can still see her reflection
So clear
So real in front of me

She blinked
She blinked at me again

And i
blinked at her

She keeps me

She is me.

no no no no


I am
This piece was my first ever spoken word poetry that I performed at open night. My first ever performance.
  Mar 2015 duhastnach
Perhaps if we are to meet again it will be in a different a life and a different body. Perhaps you'll look at me and smile, have a serious case of deja vu, and try again. A true example of second chances.
duhastnach Mar 2015
I've had enough.
I'm done waiting.
I guess it's your turn
To do something.

I am such a jest
Still hoping from you
But I'm just so done now.

So here's the adieu
I should have given
Months ago.

This is the farewell
Without the
Hungering touch
Of uncertainty.
  Mar 2015 duhastnach
Terry Pratchett died Thursday. He was a critically acclaimed British Fantasy Author, as well as an advocate for assisted suicide and Alzheimer's Disease. He himself was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2007, yet still continued to write, even after he was incapable of using a computer to write (he used a dictation machine afterwards). Before his death at the age of 66, he wrote the popular "Discworld" series consisting of four books, as well as one of my personal favorites, "The Wee Free Men." He was inspirational for me as a writer and he changed my view of writing. With his books, I found my writing style. There are no words to express my awe at his life and works, nor are there words to express my deep sadness in which I tell you that he has passed. May he rest in peace and reach a world even better than that of Discworld.

“There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.”
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky (Discworld, #32)
Well Mr. Pratchett, you've changed the story.
One of my favorite authors... He inspired me greatly and changed my perspective on the traditional aspects of writing. Hope he's somewhere better now.
duhastnach Mar 2015
You're a one night stand
But we spent too many nights
I lost count of it.

You're that unexpected kiss
On a drunken wasted night
Of vomits and *****.

You're that awkward hi
Exchanged by strangers who
Thought they both knew each other
But were clearly mistaken for another.

You're the bruise that turns blue
When I accidentally bump my leg
On the corner of the bed.

You're the scar that I never
Knew I had.

You're the bittersweet taste in
My mouth every morning.

You're the last thought lingering
In my head before slumber takes me
And you're the vagueness that
Haunts me in my dreams.

You're the scalding hot shower
In a cold freezing morning.

You're the boiling tea that numbs
My tongue for the rest of the day.

You're the obsession
I will never learn to let go of.

You're that person I will
Never get to call mine.

You're the one that got away.
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