Cheyanne Ntangu

Cheyanne Ntangu Aug 2015

Just like the caterpillar that turns into a butterfly,  things take time  I was upside down  building my cocoon  I covering me  So I could show you the best of me
Yet your patience was already wearing thin But my cocoon stage had only just begun Nothing I did was being prolonged nothing was overdue.  I was building me but you didn’t quite seem  to understand the beauty of it all
But I continue to build,  I am in no rush It takes awhile to see **** grow  It takes awhile for me to warm up to you  It takes awhile for you to be able to read me like an open book but you gave up on me you didn’t even try you couldn’t quite see the beauty of it all
why can’t we just take our time?  I am worth the wait  I have so much love to give  but I’m selfish with my love I don’t want run out of love  ****… I don’t want run out of you
why are you so impatient with me? to you I am just a caterpillar  with no potential one who is not worth the wait
maybe this is not for us  Or maybe your eyes were not worthy enough to see me outside my cacoon  because you couldn’t quite see  the beauty of it all.

#feelings #passion #emotions

Cheyanne Ntangu Aug 2015

Anti-summer-love

Summer is the season where I'm all up in my feelings.
I start missing people I shouldn't miss,
wanting things I shouldn't want.
Praying that we cross paths even though I know that's a bad idea, but I'm still optimistic.

And why am I feeling like this anyway? 19 years old waiting on imagery, believing in fantasies. And these emotions are real and raw. These emotions cut deep and no knife can create a deeper wound.

I'm telling you my mind is a dangerous place. I don't like to be alone. I am my own personal killer. I don't need no additionally help, I pull my own trigger and it's sickening to know that I can do this to myself. And it's sad to know that I can't save me from myself.

How can summer be so cold? How can summer steal my inner glow? Even my skin has lost its radiance. ****, I wonder how's the winter going to be.

#love #sad #summer #raw #emotions #latenightthoughts

Aug 2015

Zupe

Reflections

Flaws upon flaws,
My skin crawls,
The mirror reveals all,

My mothers words,
Lost to the whims of the world,
In a pursuit to please other girls,

I feel like an object of social dissection,
With the eye of the beholder,
What's your interpretation?

You see it too,

I hear the horror in your averted eyes,
You see all I despise,
There's no way for me to hide or deny,

I shouldn't be so fazed,
It's just a phase...
It will all fade.
~Zupe

#face #mirror #imperfections #self-conscious #zupe

Cheyanne Ntangu Jul 2015

Pray for ya

I may not hit you up everyday but I still pray for you, talk about you, think of you. I always wonder what you're doing and if you're doing okay. I wonder if you need my affection as much as I need yours. What I'm feeling right now is more than a helpless want. And these feelings might go away but right now they are realer than ever. And I only want the best for me, the best for you and I could be the best for you.

I may not talk to you everyday but I still pray for you, I ask God to protect you because if something happened to you my heart might just stop and a part of me just might get lost. Isn't it funny? I hardly know you but I feel like you're a part of me.

I hope this lasts longer than the days of summer, longer than any season because this **** right here has deeper meaning and if it doesn't for any reason, just know I will always appreciate you and I will always pray for you.

First draft

Jul 2015

Lunar

woe

woe is he,
who fell in love
with me-- a tragedy
written in the stars.

woe is me,
who looked out
for thee-- the artist
of all my scars.

woe are we,
who couldn't see
the impossibility
of our hearts.

#love #heartbreak #impossible #woe

Cheyanne Ntangu Nov 2014

Mr lover

Dear mr lover
brother, fellow lover
you came to mind
you're a type of blues
A hint of funk
& I thank Jah for that
Now brother, fellow lover,
your name has a certain ring to it
So I thank your mother for that

Now mr lover
why you so shy?
You're a man of swagger right?
A man with an ego too big for his own good
the man of night
The thief, the predator
A man that walks that walk
& talks that talk
One who holds his own

A kicking it back kinda guy
you just tryna keep it cool, right?
A smooth type of brother

But see mr lover
Your eyes give it away
they burn like flames

mr lover your cool demeanor is front, ok.
See your body language reads differently. the body of the mind is what I comprehend
your body language is what I'm fluent in
& mr lover it's the language of possibilities

This poem was inspired by the film Love Jones

#passion

Cheyanne Ntangu Jul 2014

Misunderstanding.

But I didn't mean to fall for you
I didn't mean for our paths to cross
because if I could undo our friendly encounter
I would give every penny of my earnings
everything pound, every diamond
EVERYTHING
because our highs weren't high enough
& our lows caused this darkness to rain inside of me
I swear it was an accident, Cupid made a mistake

This is an old poem.

#resentment