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May 2020 · 125
29th of june
julie May 2020
I don't know why it's you.
why you of all people
even though there were three others
but today it's you

I see you
as you stand there in the wide field
a dog on a leash, probably yours
your eyes in which I lose myself second by second more and more
the sky behind you almost purple
a cigarette in your hand - but you're still so young
it doesn't matter to me today

I am sitting here
trying to sort my thoughts
and still waiting for a sign from you
if only for a very small
and I know you get off from work at 4:00 pm.

you are there
where I wish to be
as of today with you
I don't really know you
you don't know me even a little bit.

but I want to see you, in real life.
and not just on my phone screen
if I have the courage to text you?
I would love to

and oh my god how I miss you
and I don't even really know you
and I know that I need to get to know you better
Jan 2020 · 165
patient N°7
julie Jan 2020
he was 13 years old when I first met him
in the white corridor
endless linoleum floor
the sound of screeching rubber shoes
nurses tired from their night shift
wayward doctors brooding over their next case
there he came
slipped into the waiting room
as quickly as his mutated feet allowed him
his life; bizarre
his black hair stuck close to his forehead
deaf
nearly blind
but there's something in his eyes
a glimpse of life
the perception?
a rattling breath, a shrug
his back is bent
his fifth operation
his trembling, pale hands, which he holds in front of his chest
like crooked but delicate dragonfly wings
the chaos of chromosomes
mutation
he wasn't just ill
he was the disease
Jan 2020 · 368
172 Boulevard Saint-Germain
julie Jan 2020
the news paper on the green round table
the jingling of cutlery
the smell of fresh coffee
the observation of passers-by
the ashtray that has not yet been emptied
men who continue to smoke quietly despite their smoker's lungs
the subliminal conversation, the whispering
the scent of musk of two ladies
the dark red velvet cushions
waiters in a hurry to get home from work
the boiling of hot water for some black tea ordered by table number 5
"madam, what would you like?"
flocks of tourists in unison with ******-off locals
and not far from this scenario
the eiffel tower
and I'm sitting here
in the 6th arrondissement
- Café de Flore
Dec 2019 · 239
VII
julie Dec 2019
VII
the old gravel pit
the breathing of the chimneys
visible on the horizon where the next big city lies dormant
the rustling of the leaves under my feet
and the streaks on the lake
on its bluish silver ground
- the existence

3 black birds are watching me roaming
where to?
as black as his hair
the soft strands caressing his pale face
the hair I want to sink into like in an ocean

the last light of the sun's rays touches my face once more
so tender, so vulnerable
like the skin of his fingertips

remotely I hear the laughter of the children on the swings
that's all that is left
everything seems to be asleep
the ferns
gentle
like his soft pink lips on my skin

the smell of firewood and smoke
damp grass and cold icy air
it is his scent that is enveloping me like a warm blanket
my life preserver in rough waters

this is my hometown
the place where I should feel safe and sound
that touches my heart

but all I want
is a tiny pin on a map
escaping
into his embrace
in Brooklyn Heights
Jun 2019 · 163
disappointed kids
julie Jun 2019
there is a forgotten youth
that tried to do everything right
by growing up immediately
but secretly, they're still the kids
that they left behind back then
when they had to grow up
Jun 2019 · 269
the thing with the birds
julie Jun 2019
do you hear the mockingbird
slowly its singing let me fall asleep yesterday;
last night
after you said
that no more white pigeons will fly for us
Mar 2019 · 226
let it snow
julie Mar 2019
you see the climbing rose
on the garden fence?

and the ivy that competes with her?
birds promise springtime
but in me remains
the everlasting winter
Feb 2019 · 283
La fille de l'été
julie Feb 2019
take the bottle of wine
light your cigarette
open your heart
and give me your hand
to dance barefoot
with the summer wind
Feb 2019 · 313
Memorized until today
julie Feb 2019
One day I stumbled across a word
I was still small
still  clueless
without the knowledge that
the word
would accompany me
years later,
perhaps even be my constant companion

Years later I met the word again, knowing well what it meant
I have memorized it to this day,
the word
5 letters, only 5
in random order
the possibilities infinite
but the combination
of these 5 letters
mean
ALONE
Feb 2019 · 243
color-blind
julie Feb 2019
green as my living room wall
green as the door of my neighbor's house
green as the shoes of a passer-by
green as the bottle of wine on my desk
green as the ivy towering above my house
green as the chairs of my favorite café
green as my favorite color

and all that reminds me of
the ******* green
of your lying eyes
Feb 2019 · 2.1k
italian summer
julie Feb 2019
sing me an aubade
at beginning of aurora
serene and mellifluous
it's like a reverie, a felicity

you soliloquize, so calm
that it could be psithurism
I hear
the beating of your heart,
like the sound of a watch
enwrapped in cotton

a summer's zephyr opens the balcony windows,
so gently
dust particles are dancing
in the morning light
and are slowly falling on the white bedding sheets
do you smell the scent
of our neighbor's citrus trees?
2 hours by car is Venice
and I invite you to stay
in the enchanted and narrow alleys
with me
Jan 2019 · 235
writing luminaries
julie Jan 2019
Bukowski was a genius,
Angelou a writing goddess,
Neruda made people dream,
and Kaur still does

words were their essence of life
a pen their strongest weapon
and their mind
their closest ally
Jan 2019 · 234
betrayal of the stars
julie Jan 2019
I could swear that I saw you
last night
under the old oak at the pond
closely entwined
in the arms of a man;
you looked up into the dark night sky
and it seemed
as if you were trying
to find an answer to all your questions;
last night,
yes, it was yesterday
I could swear that I saw you.
under the old oak at the pond
Jan 2019 · 299
Enchanté de la lune
julie Jan 2019
Tu vois la lune ?
Sa grâce, son élégance.
son allure, aussi vulnérable que celle d'un enfant.
Et pourtant, elle brille et fait briller le monde entier.
Translation:
Enchanted by the moon
You see the moon?
her grace, her elegance.
her countenance, as vulnerable as that of a child.
And yet she shines and shows her brilliance to the world.
Jan 2019 · 398
911
julie Jan 2019
911
"911, what is your emergency?"
"hard to describe"
"how can we help you"
"I think my heart broke"
"Sorry, we can't help you"
Jan 2019 · 296
curtains up for Grim Reaper
julie Jan 2019
I saw Grim Reaper
standing behind your back
as he slowly tried
to reach for your soul
and I offered him my hand
so that he would take mine
instead of yours;
as obliging as a gentleman
he kissed my hand
and together we danced
the last dance
Jan 2019 · 277
foolish jealousy
julie Jan 2019
isn't it weird?
I was never jealous.
of nothing, of nobody.
But today I became aware of;
I'm eternally jealous.
Of the woman
who will be yours
one day
Dec 2018 · 251
insomnia
julie Dec 2018
shadows are stretching over the walls,
moonlight brightens my room,
clouds are trying to veil his countenance,
and the church bell rings midnight

milk with honey should take me to sleep,
but adrenaline flows trough my veins,
dark secrets keep me awake
and occupy my head
like a knight the hostile fortress

finding no sleep, no rest
on my balcony I smoke the last cigarette
before the sun rises,
before the morning dawn;
before the magic of the night fades
and the secrets turn into reality
Nov 2018 · 183
forgotten soldiers
julie Nov 2018
they were taken to the grave a long time ago,
they fought for all those who were worth fighting for.
and now they are forgotten and one with the earth
they once fought for.
Nov 2018 · 449
musk & cedar
julie Nov 2018
there is something in the air.
the smell of musk and cedar wood.
everywhere where the wind carries me,
it is there.
this distinctive scent.
the scent of security and
memories of beautiful days.
it is your scent
that I've learned to love
Nov 2018 · 193
the suffering
julie Nov 2018
I neither want you to press the like
nor the follow button
I just want you to
give me your attention
Just for a tiny second

150 million children
are orphans
worldwide

821 million people
are undernourished

every 40 seconds
someone
takes his life

In 2017
68,5 million people
were fleeing
a country

every day
7000 mothers
lose their luck,
their baby

Think about those numbers
and be grateful for just a tiny second
if you're not affected

All I want is
you to think about this
only for once
and make every moment count
as if he were the last
I don't want to attack or insult anyone in any way with this poem.
I simply want to make you think.
Nov 2018 · 413
what the wind told
julie Nov 2018
you hear the whisper of the wind?
you hear it?
what is he telling you?
he tells you to run
'cuz he's getting stronger and stronger
until you'll surrender to him
Nov 2018 · 721
la femme que j'ai vue
julie Nov 2018
saw her sitting on a bench,
while reading "voyage au bout de la nuit",
a cigarette between her tooth gap
framed by red lipstick,
a bottle of wine next to her,
quietly humming a melody,
her hair wilder than a man's dream,
her fragrance Chanel N°5,
the look in her eyes were longing for the saving shore,
it was raining but she didn't even care,
and so I knew
Je t'admire
la femme que j'ai vue: the woman I saw
"voyage au bout de la nuit": book by Louis-Ferdinand Céline
Je t'admire: I admire you
Oct 2018 · 190
where all begins
julie Oct 2018
born in 1998
12 months later
walked my first steps
my first word was Momma
my second Dadda

suddenly had a sibling in 2000
had a fantastic childhood so far
played everyday at the playground
at the end of our street
made my first friendship there

went to Elementary School at age 6
sat next to a boy named Jack
learned the ABC and counting to 1000
still had a fantastic childhood

changed to Middle School in 2008
had my first crush on a boy
who was in love with my best friend
cried my eyes out
at that point of time
experienced the last days of being a child
until puberty knocked on my door
had some deep crisis with pimples and oily hair

in 2012
High School waited for me
followed by many ups and downs
got my license
after celebrating my sweet 16
dated my first boyfriend
went to homecoming and prom
broke up with him
'cuz he cheated
sewed the shattered pieces
of my heart together
and got over him
but still had a fantastic youth
at the end
I finally graduated from High School

didn't know what to do now
with my life
rented my own apartment
thinking if I should go to college
earned some money trough
working at "Joe's coffee bar"

as I met him
I fell into the deep
of his blue ocean eyes
I've never recognized
those familiar eyes
I forgot
since I saw him last time
10 years ago

1 year later
we got engaged
and so I married the boy
i sat next to
when I was 6
Oct 2018 · 181
lost letters
julie Oct 2018
a poem is
NTHNG
wth mssng lttrs
Can you read it?
Oct 2018 · 436
punctuation marks
julie Oct 2018
a ? means you're insecure
a ! means you're overdramatic
a , means you're not coming to the point
a . means...that you're coming to an end?
Oct 2018 · 359
searching for the lyrics
julie Oct 2018
listened to that song;
I don't remember the name
gosh
you've ever had this feeling
the feeling that you've lost it forever
trying to imagine a title
that would be the right one
over and over I just hear in my head
lalalalalalalalala
Oct 2018 · 6.3k
the autumn spirit
julie Oct 2018
trees are changing their robes;
on misty mornings
I am sitting on my porch.
a book  
I've found in a vintage bookstore
at the corner of my street
is lying in my lap

drinking a tea
wrapped into my favorite blanket
and watching my neighbors
carving their pumpkins

smelling the scent
of firewood
while also listening to
Frank Sinatra

autumn, oh autumn
where have you been?
Oct 2018 · 189
creative crisis
julie Oct 2018
sitting here
since 3 pm
trying
to write a poem

my head his blocked,
my hands are hurting,
my body is tired,
my eyes are burning

nothing;
is written on my paper
accept one word

I'll show you later
guess which word
Oct 2018 · 1.9k
go and accept yourself first
julie Oct 2018
when I look into a mirror
all I see is a tired person,
a lazy,
a busy,
a non-motivated
person.

when I look into a mirror
all I see is a, in my opinion,
chubby person.
With pimples,
oily hair,
and braces.

But when I look into a mirror
all I see should be a
beautiful,
strong,
and perfectly imperfect person.

So hey world, that's me
and I'm proud of that person.

And so should be you,
yes...you!
The person who is
reading this right now.
YOU
Oct 2018 · 1.4k
overslept
julie Oct 2018
you're still sleeping
but I'm awake;
since 2 am
I'm wondering about
what you're dreaming

Watching the fading city lights
trough the blinds
and listening to your calm breath,
thinking about
morrow

Finally falling asleep
at 9 am;
just to wake up later to the warm space
you left beside me
Oct 2018 · 3.7k
pardon, my french
julie Oct 2018
once my parents said
that we had to move

away from my home town,
my birth place,
my comfort zone.

I found myself
in Paris then,
hardly not speaking any french,
missing the beaches of Cali
and thinking of better times

Sitting in a little cafe
near Rue Bonaparte
sharing a cigarette
with a gray-haired stranger

philosophizing about life
and feeling the sand of
Santa Monica Beach
on my skin

Suddenly a stranger asked me
something I didn't understand

so I stuttered
menez-moi à la maison,
à l'endroit auquel j'appartiens
last sentence means: "take me home to the place I belong"
Oct 2018 · 244
baby, baby drown with me
julie Oct 2018
don't trust me
'cuz if you do
i would be your undoing

i am like the ocean
seeming calm and beautiful;
but once you stepped into my waves
i will pull you down to the ground;
and never ever let you go

till you finally drowned;
so that you are at one with me
forever
Oct 2018 · 911
no worries
julie Oct 2018
smoking
she said
isn't good for your health

but I am not
listening to the words
she said

putting the cigarette
back into my mouth

crying
she said
isn't good for your eyes

but I am not
listening to the words
she said

starting to cry again
over the boy who left me

loving
she said
isn't good for your heart

but I am not
listening to the words
she said

I am still loving
but not the boy who left me

I am loving her
the woman who carried me 9 months
inside her

Dear momma,
worrying about me
I am saying
isn't your purpose in life

but she didn't
listen to the words
I said

so she still worries about me
Oct 2018 · 227
precipitation
julie Oct 2018
Raindrops falling
Onto your skin;
running down
Your cheekbones,
Your lips,
Your chin

I wanna be one,
Just to touch you
A tiny bit
Just to taste
A little bit of you

I am so jealous
Of that little raindrop
Like nobody can be

And I am finally happy
As you wiped him away

But realizing it was a tear
That ran down your beautiful face
Oct 2018 · 380
taking something
julie Oct 2018
Taking a breath
A short one
Just inhaling a little bit
Of this world

Taking a step
A small one
Just to see
where it would take me
In this world

Taking a look
A quick one
Just to see
the important things
In this world

Taking a BREAK

Just to realize
How grateful I am
For this world
Oct 2018 · 191
YES or NO
julie Oct 2018
Thinking
about me,
about you,
about us

Thinking
about
how it would be
if I said yes
Yes to me,
to you,
to us

Thinking
about
what the future would held
for me,
for you,
for us

Thinking
about...

Oh...I am not thinking anymore
I am
crying
about me,
about you,
about us

About the first kiss, we will never share,
about our first fight, we will never fight,
about our first home, we will never buy,
about our children, we will never have

And all that happened
because
I said no...

No
to me,
to you,
to us

And now
that I am sitting here
I started to think again
about
how it would be
if I said
YES

— The End —