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 Nov 2018 julie
Charles Bukowski
To end up alone
in a tomb of a room
without cigarettes
or wine--
just a lightbulb
and a potbelly,
and glad to have
the room. the morning
they're out there
making money:
judges, carpenters,
plumbers, doctors,
newsboys, policemen,
barbers, carwashers,
dentists, florists,
waitresses, cooks,
and you turn over
to your left side
to get the sun
on your back
and out
of your eyes.
from "All's Normal Here" - 1985
 Nov 2018 julie
She's ready.
He isn't.
She's willing to take the risk.
He isn't.

"I love you."
He whispered to no one
While watching her
Walk down the aisle
With her father
And him as a visitor.
 Oct 2018 julie
Lil Lalo
It took me seventeen years
to understand
what they meant
when they said
That the monsters don't live
under beds.
 Oct 2018 julie
Lil Lalo
 Oct 2018 julie
Lil Lalo
Welcome to our generation
Where kid's pretend to smile
They pretend to be happy
When in reality
They're broken
And they just want to die.

Welcome to our generation
Where kid's self-harm
Starve themselves
and make themselves throw up
The generation that tries to die.

This is our generation
The generation that want's to hide
The generations that want's to die
 Oct 2018 julie
Bad Boy
 Oct 2018 julie
You wear leather
As dark as your heart
You speak words
As sharp as a knife

You smell of cigarettes
And sometimes cologne
You wreak of Jack Daniel's
But mostly depravity

You lurk in the shadows
And prey on the young
You desire a girl
But only one night

You tell her your lies
To trick her to stay
And then like a coward
You run away
I've been there, done that.
I was once that girl, but not  anymore.
 Oct 2018 julie
My first memory is of you
I move with halting steps
Of feet new to walking
Towards a window of a little house

Looking out on an approaching storm
The air is still and heavy
Pressing everything down to the earth
Like a photograph
In which only I have motion

Heat takes away all relief
Even from the shade
Skin always damp with sweat
Silence smothers all thought of sound

No voices, no music, no birds
The endless shurring of the insects
Has been suppressed in anticipation
With a promise of the storm’s cool kiss

Blue and gray mix in the sky
Prophecy of your eyes
Still so far away
I am looking past the storm
Even then I am looking for you

Waiting for you
I have known you
Before that feverish, soundless day
Before all my days began

I knew you
I loved you
Now I wait
To be with you again
 Oct 2018 julie
Lil Lalo
 Oct 2018 julie
Lil Lalo
A row of bottles on my shelf
Cause me to analyze myself
One yellow pill I hope to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop

A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they don't shake
The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me im happy when im not

The purple one goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain
The capsules tell me not to sneeze
Or cough, or choke, or even wheeze

The red ones, smallest of the all
Go to my blood so I won't fall.
The orange one's, oh so big and bright
Stop my leg cramps in the night

Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ill's
But what i'd really like to know
Is what tells each one where to go.
 Oct 2018 julie
They told him drinking is bad for him
He told them nothing is good for you
They told him that smoking can **** him
He said it can actually cure him
They told him the drugs won't make him forget
He said that he wanted to remember
The drinking is to remind him to smile, the smoking shortens his life, but the drugs. Those drugs helped him remember all the happy times so he would not only remember the pain

— The End —