I won’t give anyone else my heart
Because it’s only been broken once
And once is enough
When I know you won’t be coming back.

Deviant sound
penetrates my bone.
Inside the box,
hardened to stone.

Pounding and scraping,
six feet down.
Buried alive,
Silent and sound.

Dirt on the box,
softens my screams,
fight to the death,
don't want to leave.

Counting my time,
seconds don't last.
I am about to die,
My pain is the past.

I have this burden on my shoulders
It's weighing me down
I can't pick myself back up
I can't even move
You put this weight on me
Please lift it, forgive me my love
Please let me go, release me of your wrath
Don't hold my mistakes over my head like this
You place them so high I cant reach them
So I'm stuck here
Staring up at you from the ground
Buried underneath my burdens

She sleeps,
Alone.
Patiently awaiting his return,
Craving his presence.

She lies in a comfy space,
Waiting for him to join her.

Countless hours passed,
No sign of him,
Not even a single tear,
or a stem of white petals.

She's getting lonely,
all alone,
Lying in these satin sheets,
The space is closing all around her.

She can't see in this growing darkness,
Her breath escaping her body,
Walls pushing against her frail, fragile body.

Waiting and wishing his return
To his one, true love.
He promised he would be there,
That they would go together.

So here she lays,
Waiting for him to fulfil it
Just as they promised they would,
Together.


Wishing his return to her,
6 feet underground.

~You were the first one to ever peak my curiosity. You had mood swings like day and night, you pulled at the threads in my flesh trying to search for what you could find underneath. We never got close enough that I could call you my girlfriend but I could feel what it was like. You were always talking about this boy, I had my first taste of jealousy because he would never love you like I could. I got tired of the cycle. Waiting for my turn. So I took from you what I could get and left you wishing you had loved what you had.

~You were so beautiful the way you had the ability to spot me in a crowded room. No matter the temperature your skin was always cold. You were always so cold. You spoke of how the stars here could never compare to the ones in Ohio. I didn't hesitate when you asked to be mine or when you asked if you could explore my every curve. You told me if I reached a certain weight you'd leave me so my fingers got to know the back of my throat in a disgustingly familiar way. I cried for three nights after you left, I was pathetically in lust with you. Months later you came to appreciate the way my hips rocked against yours and begged for my return. You are trash.

~You kissed me at the bottom of the stairs briefly. I could tell you didn't kiss often but I said yes anyway.  I remember being startled when I woke up at a friends house, my hair a filthy mess and you were sitting there watching me. I could barely have a conversation with you so I always kissed you to cover the involuntary silence. You were the nicest boy I'd ever met but I never loved you.

~We we're practically married the way we fought and ****** for three years. I gave you everything I had in summer on a blanket spread over the lush grass. I wrote novels in your pretty little heart and poured out my every struggle. I loved you from the hairs that stood on the back of my neck to the way I curled my toes..but then you changed. You said you were growing up and learning responsibility. But really you sat blankly in your room counting birds of death and you watched me struggle for breath, for life. I tried to get my love back but you'd buried him deep somewhere. I imagine he's laying beautifully in a bed of flowers and butterflies land on his lips trying to give him breath, although they are to minuscule to succeed. You've become a disgusting person. I do not love you.

~During a time that I sat waiting for death I found myself in August during September. You were the most beautiful boy I'd ever laid eyes on, I never imagined lips like yours touching mine. I've come to realize that you are the flowers, you are the butterflies and the sunshine. You are all of the bright magnificent things that you think you're not and you are mine. I fell for you involuntarily, but I would never turn back if I could. I've never had a best friend and a lover amalgamated.  I've never been so certain that love can exist in the darkest of beings. I've never tasted forever in someones kiss. Dear present love do not deceive me.

very short reach very high climb
very all yours very not mine
very not wood very much pine
very too rust very dull shine
very not real
very fun time very time
very time
consuming
very narrow
as it is buried
very deep
inside your lips
and it tips and turns and crashes and
leave it on the table where it’s easy to find
you wouldn’t ever want to leave it behind
please
praise
the
feet
that
move
you
play the song that we know the words to
play the song that we know
we know
the song that plays us
we know.