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  May 2015 LeaveThisLife
IL Mare
He had reasons
But I had none
A lot of questions
He'd become

We had memories
So we aren't really strangers
But then he looks at me
Like I'm the only one who can remember
LeaveThisLife May 2015
Still stuck in this hole
I'm starting to like it down here
LeaveThisLife Mar 2015
We lay in my bed
Still wrapped in each others arms
Our clothes sprawled on the floor
We're still breathing heavily
This is normal
He'll come over every Wednesday
We'll do this every Wednesday
The same thing
And we're used to this
We like this
We'd only have a few minutes left
Before my dad came home
But we'll risk it and lay together
Just for one more minute
Then he'll put his clothes on
I'll straddle him one last time
He'll pick me up
Kiss me goodbye
And drive away
True story.
LeaveThisLife Feb 2015
Hi, my name is Alli
And I have an addiction*
I see blurry remains
Through my mascara tears
I fill my clouded head
With screams that nobody hears
I blast my music through my headphones
But his voice still echos in my head
I'm beginning to think I may never overcome this
I continue to relapse, time and time again
Maybe it's time I stop trying to recover
Maybe this is who I am
I stopped fighting my darkness, we're on the same side now
LeaveThisLife Feb 2015
I am good for a while
I'll talk more, laugh more
Sleep and eat normally
But then something happens
Like a switch turns off somewhere
And all I am left with is the darkness of my mind
But each time it seems like I sink
Deeper and deeper
And I am scared...
Terrified that one day I won't make it back up
I feel like I am gasping for air
Screaming for help
But everyone just looks at me
With confused faces
Wondering what I am struggling over
When they're all doing just fine
And it makes me feel crazy

What the hell is wrong with me?

I've really been struggling with my myself lately, making bad decision that are just dragging me farther underwater, and the people I keep bringing into my life are not people who are going to pull me out of the water, they're the brick dragging me down deeper and deeper to the bottom of this deep trench of my mistakes...
I need help, someone help me
LeaveThisLife Feb 2015
Alright, fine
I'm done trying
I waited too long for you to come around
Clearly you're not
You win
It's time to say goodbye
This Rose is wilted
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