I wish, I could just fade, into nothingness.

Not to die, not to be aware of the end, but just to fade
and become merged with the rest of the universe.
My consciousness
part of the never-ending energy.
Then, I would not witness any more suffering,
or tragedy.

I would not be concerned with human ideas of war
and ideals,
for which countries and nations are torn,
for which the cycle of death renews.
It’s no news

that each, every so often
new powers rise and the old is forgotten.


I wish, I could just go far, far away.

Leave this Earth and all its destruction,
journey to a place with no caged birds, and caged people.
I don’t want to stay
amongst the ones who are caged inside their minds
thinking they own the world
and all beyond it,
when, in fact, the only thing they own is the production
of hate.

And evil deeds could write themselves one by one
onto their skin, showing the fate
of countless souls, like a tattoo
never to fade.

If only they would.
Maybe then, young citizens could
take some time to think about the rush
to honour the ‘duty to their country’.
Gun in hand, loyalty in the other,
all for honour.

Death is the greatest teacher, for in death we are all the same,
look it in the eyes, and your life will change.
If only it changed for the better
and not made the ground wetter
with blood of the ones honouring their leader,
when their leader does not honour them.

He lives on, while their lives
Are fading,
fading
away.

I love the city at night

I like when the waves start rumbling
And the city lights turn on
I like the beautiful sights
Of the twilight sky
And the mountains all dressed in black

I like when it's hidden away

When everything the daylight shows
Disappears
All the beauty that's destroyed
All that's been taken away is concealed

Because when I look on and on
When my eyes gaze upon...
The darkness

I don't see all the disaster

The city lights, the waves and the sky
Draped in violets and pinks
As the airplanes fly

And I think, what a beauty!
What a city of dreams
When the visible is made to be unseen
Unseen...

I see the cars passing
With their beaming lights
But they all seem somehow much sweeter
And closer to starlight

I see the palm trees standing proud
In a place where they do belong
But there's so few around

And even the people seem much brighter
When the nights come to hide
the effects of human disaster

A comfort blanket

Listen to the waves

And forget the sounds of the traffic
That I can't stand anymore

Found my comfort in the night
Found my solace at this time
Found the beauty of life
In the city
At night

Why are there more buildings than trees
In the city that's promising dreams?
Why are there more cars than
Parking spaces
What's all the rush?

Why are there more boats than fish
On the island of eternal bliss?
Can't even hear my thoughts
From all the noises;
I Feel overwhelmed.

There are pockets of green,
A desert preserved,
Only one single tree where I've ever heard birds
They sing in the morning at 8,
But I'm starting to think it's too late

I see mountains rising
And buildings above them,
I see clouds slowing passing
As cars outrace them,
All the light pollution
Has the sky turned brown;
At night
In the centre of life
I feel drowned

I've been dragged away
from the edge of the water,
even though I wanted to jump right in

I'd been only swimming
in the shallow corners,
almost learned to let go
and give in

Give in to the waves
let them pull me further from the shore
Give in to the tide,
hear the ocean roar

But something happened then
and I lost my sight of how and when
For a minute I closed my eyes,
thought I was lost at sea,
but when I looked around
there was no water to be seen

Just like someone
came and took my hand
and pulled me far away
off to dry lands

Felt like memory loss,
tried but couldn't remember
why my feet were still so wet
when I was in the centre
of the forest splendour

And sometimes I recall
the memories of the time
when I almost had it all

I was getting so close,
could barely believe
that I had found the purpose of my reality

But not everything works out
Lost sight of my true silhouette
My head has been dry for so long,
but my feet are still wet

Out of place
Out of my mind
Lost in the woods
Lost track of time
Take me back
Now I recall
why my feet are still wet
I can still have it all

I'll drag myself back
to the edge of the water
and jump right in like I was meant to

I'll be swimming away
into the deep end
Giving in to the waves
Giving in to the tide
Giving in to the voices that I've kept inside

My feet are still wet
and now I know why

Honey, I'm falling down
Hunted like a deer
You shot an arrow
Straight through my heart
I wasn’t supposed to take a bite
Of that poisoned apple
Now it's stuck in my throat

Trust and love take months to build
and a day to break,
But I am not impatient,
For you - I'll give years
and a lifetime
if it takes.

It's called having a "crush" for a reason:
Because it crushes your soul
until your ripped-up heart
and glass-sharp tears
completely dissolve you
into nothingness.

Look, I don't know why
I feel this way right now.
There's no reason for me
to be sad
because I always looks on the bright side.

Somehow, my thoughts are clouded
with pain and sorrow;
I'm telling myself
that a brighter tomorrow
will mend the cracks,

yet when tomorrow comes
my body still lacks
the energy to cope.

Look, I'm trying!
Isn't that enough?
I may be strong and emotionally tough
I hold my head high when times get rough,
but my act of bravery is only a bluff
when the load gets too heavy.

I'm sinking.

Deeper and deeper
into a rabbit hole
with no bright side
at the end.

A little girl
half like me and half like them-
Born in the year
When my childhood would end

On the other side of the world,
somewhere far away,
in a place I've never even heard of-
She sleeps every night.

Parents of different cultures,
Nothing alike,
She shares the traits of both:
Caramel skin and chocolate eyes.

A family I've never met,
My family, my closest ones,
Across the ocean,
Out of sight.

She doesn't know me.
Half of them don't.
But the other half,
they just pretend
that they do.

But they don't really know me,
I guess, they never did,
For all my childhood years
who was I and who were they?

Then, she was born,
like nothing happened,
Nobody said anything,
everything stayed the same

Like we are not half the same,
Half related,
Half blood-connected,
Like we are nothing,
nothing at all.

She knows nothing yet,
But I do.
And they say I am too proud
To let go of the past,

But I am not proud
of me or them,
I tried to forgive
a long time ago.

I am not
Too proud
to let it go,
I just realised
They don't care
Too much
for me to try.

I wish I could break these stupid habits:
Stop touching my face
To get clear skin,
Stop looking in the mirror
To see how I look
Even though I know I look fine.

I wish I could break these silly habits:
Stop thinking about judgement in every place
that I go,
Not think about makeup
When I go for a swim,

Not look at my body in the mirror
And see
Imperfections of beauty,
Like beauty is something you can easily define.

I look fine.

I'm not mediocre
And, perhaps, I'm not divine,
When I see my reflection
I wish I could stop criticizing
Myself.
And looking at every bump and scratch on my cheeks and nose

I want to break these habits
of self-doubt and insufficient self-worth

I want to break these habits
of not feeling good enough-
When I know that I am.