Appeared to be a normal day,
At our University of the Third Age,
Grannies and grandads writing epic lit.,
Forgot our hearing aids and blankets...
We walked away from the class,
Drank our coffees on the grass....
One old moll began this thing,
We cast off inhibitions and wedding rings,
Decided to have a greys' love-in,
One last winter's love fling,
Before hearses the morticians bring,
We were all senile, obese and ga-ga,
Our grey scrawny ***** made us ha-ha,
We gave those grandpas some thrills,
We all forgot our cardiac pills,
The old boys were gasping for breath,
Moribundi, close to death....
So, appeared to be a normal day,
On the grass, after class, at U3A,
Love-in amongst the greys,
It was grey liberation day!!!!

Heading for the next election,
Votes vied for by vicarious politicians,
Who are we all voting for?
Is it for their superannuation? Or,
Streamlining services to sway us,
Does Oz really needs such fuss?
We're walking on the winning side,
Let's have some more Hi-fives!
Debates due no direction,
Teen brain selfie obsessions,
These are our politicians,
It's a short, amusing ride,
Someone pass vicarious pesticide!!!

We meet again, so soon,
It's lovely to say hi to you,
Isn't it a beautiful day?
And by the way, what was your name?
The first time I forgot your face,
I'll just smile, bless you with grace....
It's so lovely to say hi to you,
Must chat again, toodledoo!

How to get off the treadmill,
We've all been workers, through the mill,
In golden days, we step back,
Cut all the young ones some slack,
Their time for the great Oz dream,
Is the economy what it seems?
At our age we've been through the mill,
Our golden years, off the treadmill....

It was the end of our days,
The closure of olden ways,
A real vintage train,
Souvenir of a passing parade,
A blast from the past,
We cheered as it rolled on, at last,
Shall we see those days again?
The revival of steam trains,
No, it was all part of change,
It was the end of our days,
The closure of olden ways.......

Historic houses to disappear,
Most have disappeared somewhere,
Demolished in the name of progress,
Change never changes, I guess.

I was sitting by a pond one day,
Through sun motes came the glitter way,
A tiny fairy appeared,
"What's the matter, my dear?
I'll grant a wish, then disappear.."
What to wish for indeed,
A silly book to read?
Or, I know,
my cheeks a'glow,
An endless choccy biscuits pack,
Even if get hideously fat,
So, I asked her, that's that.....
Now I sit by my sunlit pond today,
Munching choc biscuits for ever and a day,
A *** of tea, biscuits neverending,
By my pond, bliss unending......

I must say I've survived this band,
Don't really want to hold their hands,
All women deserve their fun,
Maybe for each, there is a one,
You never know, it's a lucky land,
But do you really want to hold their hands?

What do Australians do well?
At the football we really yell,
All sports have cast their spell,
We are all quite laconic,
With work, it's really platonic,
We love a long weekend,
We wish holidays never end,
We even have a public holiday,
For our horse racing day,
Yes, that's Melbourne Cup Day.
What do Australians do well?
Well, we welcome all, do tell,
One multicultural southern land,
Progress changed us to helping hands,
We can work hard, and play hard,
Looking for weekends too far,
We Aussies do lots of stuff real well,
Yes, Australia has cast its spell.

The amicable divorce had kids,
Dear little tin lids,
Here's your new mummy,
No need to spit the dummy,
Now you've got a new dad,
Stop yelling, there's the lad,
Here today, gone tomorrow,
Each divorce brings its own sorrow,
You're such dear little tin lids,
Yes, the amicable divorce had kids!

This, the thin end of the green wedge,
Suburban bushland at society's edge,
listening to party platforms,
can anyone believe such reforms?
Yes, election time in anxious Australia,
Who is to be our climate saviour?
We hear spellbinding visions,
Are these swept away by ambitions?
Insatiable appetites of giant companies,
I thought the land of Oz was for you and me.....

A thought from an erstwhile visionary,
We came from another century,
How can we grow old disgracefully?
or  not ?
We're the seniles that time forgot,
Peter Pans on ***!
Obese, gaga or dead,
Silliest verse you've ever read,
Didn't we come from another century?
Now let's grow old disgracefully!

Liar, Liar,
Pants on fire,
You are a naughty liar, man,
When did you care for a woman?
Don't say you're my friend, liar,
No wonder your pants are on fire!

Day was very sunny,
Old Jet felt so funny,
Old black lab, muzzle grey,
His family off to work today,
Left alone, watchdog to keep,
Old Jet lay down to sleep,
His gait was slow,
Not much get up and go,
Jet slumbered on,
Not too long,
His canine dreams bemusing,
Flashbacks Old Jet perusing,
Brilliant happy companion days,
Lots of fun and rambling plays,
Ben was his best loved lad,
Now Jet's unofficial dad,
His loyalty never wavered,
Yes, Ben he always favoured,
Pats and hugs and lots of snacks,
All kindness, time to relax,
Old Jet's breathing slowed,
Snoring on, time to go,
Asleep in the sun, one deep sigh,
No one home to say goodbye,
No drama, no fuss,
Old Jet's no longer with us,
His long life over,
Puppy Heaven for old rover,
Old Jet had breathed his last,
Finally, Jet had passed.

For my free thought anxiety,
I do like reading Web MD,
For medical catastrophes,
But what to do, in reality,
Send them off to a good GP,
For accurate diagnoses,
Then stop reading Web MD!

You have healed my broken heart,
With your kindness, we're now apart,
Handle women with care, my dears,
Fragile feelings, don't hurt women, cheers!

If only we could all Skype Heaven,
Embrace our beloved in fields Elysian,
See peaceful light in perpetual visions,
Pray for people on Earth and in Heaven,
Each day a National Day of peace and happiness,
Whatever happens today, don't stress,
Whatever happens today, you'll manage,
Your daily mantra and an adage,
Planet Earth still turns, sun arises,
Yes, life does bring its surprises,
Let's pray to strengthen our faith,
For solutions for peaceful ways,
Peaceful days on Earth and Heaven,
If only we could  Skype to Earth, fields Elysian.

Really not a party gal,
At social do's, I talk to animals,
The hosts pet dog, cat or budgie,
So much more fun for me,
Then "what time is it, look!
I want to go to bed with my book!"

Destiny for humanoids---
Shall we run by androids?
Or shall we be the androids?
Let's prognosticate,
Predict our fates----
Shall mankind claim the Universe?
Or is Anarchy to be the serve?
Teeming billions in a rat race,
What is destiny for our Earth place?
In our lifetime, we'll never know,
Unless Armageddon explodes,
Let's hope the young are star hopping,
Instead of retail therapy shopping,
Too young for the stars,
Too old for the seas afar,
Nothing left to explore,
Disaffection, please no more,
Shall we be the androids?
Destiny for the humanoids?????????

What, indeed, is an enigma?
Shrouded in mystery, to bemuse ya!
A mystery wrapped in enigma,
A paradox with no stigma,
Expand into our phenomena,
A mystery wrapped in enigma........

Procrastination is the thief
of time, words beyond belief,
I'll procrastinate later, eh,
Silly joke for today!

With all due indifference,
And definitely no deference,
I observe world politicians,
I make observations,
No one deserves Putin,
All poesy a'pukin,
The US played their Trump card,
Here in Oz, we're doing it hard,
There's a global recession,
No thanks to world politicians,
With definitely no deference,
I write with all due indifference.........

Read all about it, prithee,
This is Dr. Who's love for thee,
Boy didn't meet girl, indeed,
Boy made android,
Made love to girl celluloid,
Quite ******* for he,
No questions asked by she,
One for the Dr. Who society!

They sow the seeds of doubt,
Where wars began, there is nowt,
Shameful displays
on the world's stage,
There's much to ponder,
On the future yonder,
No longer a slogan,
Who sells the uranium?
Oz is sowing the seeds of doubt,
Where wars began, there'll be nowt!

Listen, girls, it's time to stop stalling,
Can you hear? It's chocolate calling,
It's midnight, not even morning,
Listen it's chocolate calling,
Creep through the house,
Quiet as a mouse,
You've bought a box for your mother,
Well, you can buy her another,
Shhhh, don't tell anyone,
Unwrap chocolate number one,
Eat me, please!
So what for fat hips and knees,
Do you hear?Time to stop stalling,
Listen girls, it's chocolate calling.....

This is a tribute to the greats,
The ones who we really rate,
We know we're not all saints,
Like blessed Mr. Mahatma,
Or now Saint Teresa,
This is a tribute to our greats,
Normal heroes we all rate,
Like police and fire brigades,
Who protect us from troubled days,
We rate volunteers and 'the nurse',
Without them, life would be worse,
Folk like them make life a better place,
A tribute to our mere human greats!

This is a tale of a bird and a tree,
All revealed to a poet like me,
Once there stood a broad tall tree,
A bird flew, perched, and looked for tea,
Flew down and foraged in the grass,
A cat appeared, would the bird last?
"Quick, fly back to me..."
whispered the branches of the tree,
Safely landed, high in tree,
Munching little worms for tea,
Friends forever now, you see,
A little tale of a bird and tree........

The very essence of the human,
Classed as **** Sapiens,
With hopes to save our troubled world,
For generations of boys and girls,
The lemmings never seem to listen,
Is self-destruction our human mission?
Australia sells them our uranium,
We are the global rogue nation,
The stand-off of nuclear weapons,
No one wants to push the first button,
Still, we ain't dead yet,
Disarming the world would be a better get,
No lemmings ever seem to listen,
Is eidetic obliteration our true mission?

******* Armageddon!
So, did we get it on?
Bliss and satiation,
Or was it Armageddon?
Are you still in Australia?
Like Vesuvius and Etna!
Daze in stupefaction-----
How did this compare to Armageddon?

One of those days, gone fishing,
Tripped the fish fantastic, gone missing,
So, off to the take-away we hopped,
Got boxed in at the pizza shop,
Fair dinkum, this is *******,
We're supposed to b eating fresh fish!

I'm hunting for the light fantastic,
Heavenly nectar afar, terrific,
Intangible message, beatific,
Got no time for ravers, frenetic,
Let's aim for the stars, fantastic,
I guess I am dream fanatic!

This was a horror day,
Hitchcock's Day of the Bogans', let's say,
Grand Final Day of 2017,
The A.F.L.'S very worst dream,
When Crows played Tiges, so it seems,
Until power blacked out at 2:30,
No play was to be seen,
Then! A bomb scare at the M.C.G.,
The whole match was on stall,
But wait! That was not all,
They had to evacuate them all,
The bogans had a mighty brawl,
So Tigers played with themselves, good call,
Then! Seven inches of rain on the M.C.G.,
A field of rain and  mud was to be seen,
They had a regatta, it was now Henley,
The A.F.L's very worst dream,
Hitchcock's Day of Bogans at the M.C.G.,
Grand Final Day in 2017......

Whitney went fishing in the pond,
She wasn't alone too long,
But...she got mixed up with ****,
She should have bought a gun,
Definitely O'Deed the wrong one,
Not her idea of fun,
Whitney wasn't on her own too long,
Now we can't hear her songs,
She should have bought a gun,
Definitely O'deed the wrong one.......

Here is a thought to be seen,
Now we're no longer teens,
We can have a party with a theme,
For the families we've barely seen,
It's called a 'Cinderella' party, O queens
of the families we've barely seen,
Yes, Cinderella is our theme,
You come and cook and clean,
You do some housework for a change,
This Cinderella would find that strange,
Our families would go quite deranged,
Now we are no longer teens,
It's only a romantic dream,
For parties, Cinderella is our theme........

It's up to you if you place rinse in your hair,
Phony blondes think they're debonair,
They're buying chemicals, who cares?
Blonde ambition, bit passé, my dears?

A tale of a lady in waiting.....
Emily did speed dating,
For her swain she is waiting,
Emily, anticipating,
Hopes fantasising,
Are her nuptials nearing?
Is today that diamond appearing?
Shall she have a solitaire ring?
Preceding her white wedding?
Now her swain is appearing,
He has a burning question,
She waits for his suggestion,
She's the lady in waiting,
Is her swain proposing?
"Emily, Emily, Emily,"
He sighs, heavily,
"Here is my question burning,
I ask my soul's deep yearning,"
Emily waits for a diamond ring,
"Emily, Emily, Emily,"
Swain whispers breathily,
The lady is waiting....
"Can you marinate chicken wings?"
"Emily, Emily, Emily,"
He yells angrily,
"That's rude, how crude!
That's the last time I see you!"
Now her own wings she is marinading,
Does she resume speed dating?
Does Emily ever stop dreaming?
Solitaire ring anticipating,
The lady is waiting,
The lady is waiting,
And waiting, and waiting, and waiting............

Does anyone belong in this age?
The 21st Century hi-tech stage,
Teaching old dogs new tricks,
All technology's deep magic,
Hey, juniors, cut us some slack,
How did we pass high school's flack?
We had no internet to hack,
Not one calculator in our backpacks!
We had to use our brains for Maths.....
Now it's the 21st Century age,
We're all hi-tech citizens on this stage..........

Our daily life and its trash,
Our shadows and secrets in a stash,
One day we'll be ancient lives,
Not strictly business, once did thrive,
All lost in the translation
to trash, our sacred institutions,
The mixed views of the robots,
For humans, they'll have soft spots,
All our shadows in a stash,
Secrets of daily life in trash!

Once together, now apart,
Harden your heart,
To me, don't come snivelling back,
I don't cut your terms of endearment any slack,
Let's not reunite,
I still sleep with a light,
Once together, now apart,
Nothing colder than an ex-wife's heart!!!!

I set off to myself improve,
Google as mentor, what a groove,
I changed my responses,
To a bully's nonsense,
Adopted a calm demeanour,
Ignored childish misdemeanour,
To be a calm and capable *******,
Even when tolerance flags.
Keep on smiling all the way,
Let's have a totally peaceful day!

This is Horatio's elegy,
He and the mousetrap had synergy,
That's the end of mouse energy,
Alas, Horatio is no more,
That fur friend predator,
He ran into the  mousetrap's door,
Alas, Horatio is no more!
How to embellish this ode?
I'm in hunter-gatherer mode,
Shall I serve him up for lunch?
Nuke him for tasty munch?
Eat it skin on for nutrients,
Now I know what Nigella meant,
No, Horatio wasn't pregnant,
Now I have a fur friend remnant,
That little mouse predator,
Of mice I am no amator,
Alas, Horatio is no more!!

Who has missed the boat?
The ancient mariner's futile gloat,
He lost the albatross,
In his own wilderness,
Nostalgia has its limits,
For one old hypocrite,
His gathering gloom,
Sleeping alone in his room,
He needs a change of outlook,
Maybe a new nonsense book,
He makes his sharing an artform,
Spam his mindset does deform,
His bluster and BS does float,
Yes, the ancient mariner's missed the boat!

How would you sell a million books,
Here's a verse that's worth a look,
You'd have to have a gimmick,
Something to make readers tick,
Like fantasy and magic,
Or suspense and thrillers,
Or horrors to give us chillers,
You tell me, I'll take a look,
How would you sell a million books?

Despite proposals along the way,
I never married again,
One was a transvestite, gay,
He did have better lingerie,
I turned him away,
I never saw him again,
I wear menswear, you see,
I would have been Bridezilla in fleece,
I guess that would have been a release,
Married in fleece, beyond belief...........

I listened to promises from a drunk,
"Bourbon Talking," I should have thunk,
The day passed, the weeks concluded,
I tried to work out who was deluded,
Waiting for red herrings,
The months and years were ending,
Decades rolled by, one day,
I realised he should be at AA,
Not so comical,
The vocab. was lyrical,
Centuries passed, millennia concluded,
The world exploded, universe imploded,
Worked out who was deluded,
Now for tradies, through phone books, I go walking,
So, girls, never listen when it' s "bourbon talking!!!"

Is Google a gift for global giving?
Viral solidarity, new way of living,
We're all the winners,
If we become grinners,
It's a chic computer show,
Virtual voyage around the globe,
At home, or  even on a phone,
Yes, viral solidarity,
Gift, or Big Brother, for humanity...?????

A life of doublespeak,
I think you're weak,
Never mind, (you're a dipstick),
Means 'I don't give a blip',
Blip happens,
Means, 'You're crapping',
Do stop moaning,
And all your groaning,
Dull contemplation,
Of ex manipulation.
Yes, doublespeak,
Means I think you're weak,
'Have a good day,' so long,
Who cares why the ex carries on?

This is one joy of teaching,
Which is really like lay preaching,
That lucid clarity moment,
When, "Now I get it!" is an event,
It's called their comprehension,
Light has dawned, they never struggle again,
You can call that satisfaction,
Yes, it's like lay preaching,
The real joy of teaching!

What's the furthest you've been from home?
Not a wanderer,  I rarely roam,
Once I went to Rottnest Island, yes,
Even the ferry was seasick, no less,
Along with its passengers, I guess,
But it's a lovely place in the sun,
Young and old have lots of fun,
Once upon a lifetime ago,
I travelled to Rottnest Island, so!!

There's a real case for Bing Crosby,
Commercialism in every store,
You'll accentuate the positive with glee,
Singing along to Bing Crosby,
Soon it'll be a bit like Christmas, or
Cant in every store,
Instead of religious awe,
We'll overspend cos it's Christmas, yah,
Then we'll stuff ourselves on the day,
Cos Jesus was born on Christmas Day,
There's a real case for Bing Crosby,
Cant in every store, see!
Then you'll beg me not to sing Bing Crosby!
Sing along with me!!!